I am still waiting for a writeup from@Patootie for fallen comrades like me..
No matter what has happened, or what will happen, the sun will always rise in the morning.
@mahi2501 What I mean was that if someone is putting dedicated efforts, understanding the demand of the exam and not wasting time on reading irrelevant things for GS papers which are of little utility in the end (which we often do in initial attempts)... then there is a high chance (though obviously not certainly) that you will reach interview atleast once (unless they drastically reduce seats in next 2 years). But, this exam has so many flaws, that one can never ever be sure of getting a rank... Essay and Ethics alone are enough to prove how subjective and thus, uncertain this exam is... If you have science optional, then you have some amount of control in this process. But for humanities and language optional, you can see how much their marks vary in each subsequent attempts. And still after reaching interview, there is so much variables in interview, that you can either be IN or OUT.
But, if we, as a aspirant, starts to believe that this exam is all about luck, then we will be frustrated daily about this randomness and will never be able to prepare diligently. I wasted my 2019 attempt in this frustration and negative outlook and solving random mocks and then more frustration and I failed by a huge margin in prelims. Thanks to Patootie comments on forum, I atleast was not frustated this time. I gave only 4-5 mocks (because 'I' believe they divert you attention to not so important portion of the syllabus) and was not able to revise some portion of Polity and History, and also messed up in the last month, but still I had positive outlook this time. Although I scored only around 102-105 but I will say it was the revision which I neglected in last month, which costed me dearly in prelims. I made around 7 questions wrong which I had studied and are easily given in multiple standard sources, but didn't revise those things in the last month. We have to look what we are doing wrong and amending it, rather than blindly copying some topper's strategy. There is a good amount of chance that we may still not be successful at Prelims or Mains, but atleast we will be satisfied with our efforts. I also believe Prelims is highly random in last 2 years, but UPSC is not going to change pattern in foreseeable future, and we just have to play in this brutal game, but it is 'us' who are choosing to give this exam, so we have to accept its consequences also.
The crux is, new aspirant shouldn't focus too much on that 'luck' factor, it will deter your meticulous preparation in initial phases. That initial phase of preparation is highly crucial, as it is the time when your enthusiasm is very high and it is which builds your base later on and allows you to make amends as and when required.If you have decided to give this exam, accept the uncertainty and give your best. You can also have some backup in mind after a certain threshold to be pragmatic in this preparation. You can speculate on that 'luck', 'randomness' etc when you are out of this process, but if you are still 'in' the process, it will do nothing good but will definitely affect your preparation in a negative way.
Agree with this! Especially the part in bold. This failure pushed me to a really dark place, and it’s slowly getting better now. The pain is easing up. At its worst, the pain was with respect to the futility of my efforts.
Not a single person can say that if you do x, y and z things, you will clear the examination. I believe it is true for each and every stage of the examination. There is randomness, subjectivity and more than a dollop of luck. This is a fact and anyone who denies this is lying to everyone else and probably even themselves.
However, I believe we give ourselves the best chance when we do not focus on these factors which are simply beyond our control. If we believe our efforts are futile in any case, we might stop honestly putting in the effort that we are capable of. On the other hand, if we believe that we will reap later the rewards of what we sow now, we might put our minds to the best possible use.
If I choose to give the exam again, I want to be at a place where I don’t get too emotionally invested in the outcome. Somewhere during mains preparation, I did become that way. I fell back into the trap of making my life all about the exam. It’s simply not ideal.
If I want an honest crack at the exam, I will owe the exam a lot. However, simply because I pay off that due, I cannot expect quid pro quo. This exam owes me nothing. If it owed me, it would have owed thousands of others as well. It’s simply not the nature of the beast.
I might be posting this on the wrong thread, but here goes. Just trying to clear my head.
I did not clear CS Mains 2020. I was in a great deal of pain. Maybe I still am, but dwelling on it does not make it any better. I have two more attempts left. After a lot of introspection, I have decided to give the 2021 attempt. There are an umpteen number of reasons why I should not give the attempt, but I have made a conscious commitment to not dwell on them. "Life is available only in the present moment", I've read.
As regards preparation, the last two months were wholly wasted. I will be joining work in two weeks time. I will have to work roughly 10 hours a day on average on weekdays. Weekends are off, and for the most part, I would be free.
Until the marks are out, I wouldn't know for sure where I had gone wrong in CSM 2020. However, if I should stand a chance in Mains 2021, my gut says that I would have to work on: a) De-specialising in GS-2; b) Having a much more structured preparation for GS-I; c) Writing safe essays; d) Have higher standards of what constitutes an average answer; e)Being sure of compulsory language paper.
I can only afford to spend roughly 3 hours a day on average on weekdays and 6-8 hours a day on weekends. However, if I can ensure that I use this time productively, I feel that I can get to where I want to be with respect to preparation, come Mains 2021.
I am jumping into this being fully aware that even these efforts might not result in success. I am not doing this because it is the best job in the world which everyone must aspire to. I am not pursuing "my dream job." My why is intensely personal. I am doing this because I want to and because I chose to. The challenge excites me, even though I hate that it does. I guess it is my self-interest that drives me to aspire for selfless service after all.
My relationship with UPSC has long been at its toxic worst, but something disallows me from walking away. In this case, something forces me to be the creep who understands the word "no" to mean "try harder." Preparing for the attempt feels like torture, but walking away without a stronger fight still feels like regret. I must choose the lesser evil. Closure, one way or another. Wish me luck.
@Sherkhan1428 This case study dilemma is also similar to the argument by a few NIMHANS doctors in their letter to the Press/Media- stating mental health issues due to reporting of the doom that COVID has caused. It may pose questions on Journalistic ethics of reporting what the truth on ground is and projecting something milder for the sake of 'mental health'. Both sides had compelling reasons. Being an avid Twitter user, I too faced this IPL dilemma. I think there can be no one solution to these cases.
I think the comparison isn't a happy one. In the case of journalists, I think it's an open and shut case of how reporting from burial grounds and the like is definitely a case of the greater good.
Here's why:
1. It helps people understand the gravity of the issue. Even the most negligent citizen who isn't abreast with the newspaper, but is a regular social media user understands how the situation is extremely bad right now. It can save lives.
2. The press is the fourth estate. It holds a mirror to society which hero-worships its leaders despite their follies.
3. I read somewhere that if no one had taken photos of the devastation caused due to the Hiroshima bombings, we wouldn't know about it today. This is a lesson for the future. It is an example of "how not to govern."
4. It helps people understand the extent of their own privilege on account of their social, economic and political capital.
5. Finally, and most importantly, to report like a government mouthpiece projecting positivity, like DD news has been for example, is the easier thing to do. The press would stand to benefit from government support on account of their favourable reporting. The raw reporting from the ground is an expression of the sentiment of the general public who are most affected by the way this has been handled. Their stories deserve to be told, above all else. Their dissent, anger and resentment is an expression of our freedom and our democracy.
"I will give you a talisman. Whenever you are in doubt, or when the self becomes too much with you, apply the following test. Recall the face of the poorest and the weakest man [woman] whom you may have seen, and ask yourself, if the step you contemplate is going to be of any use to him [her]."- MK Gandhi
We need positivity, but to ask that it must come at the cost of reporting of the sad truth is to ask for injustice. It is selfish and inhumane. I believe the solution is non-partisan reporting, where news houses don't push an agenda. We need positivity, and those who want it must be able to get it as well from news outlets. For eg, like the story of Kerala or Odisha. However, it must never be at the cost of the devastating stories we see now.
A genuine doubt !
Many Australian Cricketers have pulled out of the IPL. Even Ashwin has gone home to be with family. And we have statements like these from cricketers like Andrew Tye and Adam Zampa :
“Looking at it from an Indian point of view, how are these companies and franchises spending so much money, and the government, on the IPL when there’s people not being able to get accepted into hospital?"
"Someone who has a family member on death bed doesn’t care about cricket."
Now if this were an ethics case study...or an interview question...How do you defend this ? Or for that matter, How do you attack this ? Is it really right for the IPL to take place amidst such gloom and doom ? Or are they just "doing their jobs?" I mean I have too many questions. I even had an argument with my brother who gave some meaningless arguments.
But you guys are different. How to form an opinion on this ?
I believe the moral dilemma arises from the fact that the IPL has always been celebrated with pomp as a celebration of cricket, and a celebration of India. It is touted as belonging to every Indian. However, when is untold tragedy is upon us all, how can we have any celebration? We don't celebrate anything for a year at least when a family member passes away. How, then, can we celebrate something as trivial as cricket, when our brothers and sisters are going through heartwrenching tragedy?
It also arises from the fact that for the more privileged among us, the IPL offers some respite. Those who are privileged enough to access the internet or the television appreciate that the IPL allows us a needed distraction every evening. But, it stops there. Is this mental respite more important than grieving with the rest of our nation?
Irrespective of the amount of money brought in towards relief efforts through the IPL, utlimately, it remains an event that widens the income disparity in the country. It is a commercial activity held at the behest of those who are least affected by the pandemic, for personal profit. Whatever money that is brought in is mostly through their charity. This charity is only a tiny fraction of the profit actually made. To say that out relief efforts are contingent on this charity which is in turn contingent on the top 0.01% making windfall gains is to abuse the self-respect of the people of India.
The Home Minister's son is the secretary to the BCCI. Moral dilemma max.
From a personal point of view, by watching the IPL, are you being complicit in enabling this culture of looking away?
The case for continuing with the IPL is thus:
1. If the IPL is stopped, what else is available for the average Indian to switch off from the reality around him?
2. What of the revenue that can be brought in to support relief efforts? Eg: Pat Cummins, RR. Charity is not a swear word.
3. What about the sunk costs of the BCCI, and of the arrangements already in place?
4. What of the livelihoods of those whose lives depend on the smooth conduct of the event, such as the groundsmen for example?
5. What of India's plans for the WT20?
6. Stopping the IPL wouldn't benefit anyone financially or otherwise at the end of the day. Continuing with it can add some value somewhere.
I think if you had to take a stand, these would be the things to consider. To each his own, I guess. I don't think there is one correct way to look at it.
@Patootie Totally agree with given arguments. Even I was sailing in the same boat. But the said letter definitely did make me think about a certain responsibility that even the Press have while carrying out the noble task in a pandemic. Let me elucidate:1. The letter talks about how in the age of social media, IT and all the more- a pandemic, the Press serve as our eyes and ears as we are shut inside our homes. It becomes like this peephole through which we form perceptions about the prevailing disaster. This has a tendency to disturb one's mental peace to the extent that it has now become a hidden mental health epidemic.2. It also cannot be overlooked that a lot of hoarding and panic buying is in turn hampering our chances of beating this pandemic.3. I think hysteria and panic inducing coverage should be minimised. But then again. It is not so simple.4. Also, increasing cases of suicide among COVID positive people is another huge concern. I mean it is a sad state of affairs when one does not even consider the option of fighting the disease and chooses death instead.As I mentioned, I think the greater good definitely lies in reporting facts from the ground. But I would again add respectfully that all isn't rosy even in this side of the picture.Journalism and reporting have been going on since ages but how an individual perceives the world in this age- mostly away from extended family, constant chatter of social media, amidst a pandemic has changed by leaps and bounds. I think there is more we can do to ensure some kind of sensitivity while reporting- like we expect while reporting suicide cases.It isn't an open and shut case at least for me. It has surely left me thinking and I did not take a stand for the greater good because I thought we were discussing the dilemma, rather than answering a UPSC ethics question.
I wasn’t answering a UPSC ethics question either. It’s literally where I stand on the issue. An ethics examiner would have possibly wanted a more balanced (centrist) view which does not point fingers at anyone. However, I have also accepted that I have no clue what UPSC wants, so I’m glad you thought it was an ethics answer. :P
I see your point. I agree with the sentiment that the press has a responsibility to ensure good mental health of those who follow their content. But it is their job to do what they are doing right now, and it is not their job to paint a rosy picture when things are anything but. This has always been the case.
Since you also agree that the greater good lies in reporting facts from the ground level, what do you think should be done? I see that there are trigger warnings in a lot of the posts on social media at least so that people who want to avoid the news can avoid it. What else can be done?
You say that hysteria and panic inducing coverage should be minimised, while also agreeing that it is not so simple. Digging deeper, I agree with the sentiment, but who would be the arbiter of what constitutes such coverage? I mean, if it’s the state who is the arbiter, we are talking about prior restraint on the press. Wouldn’t imposing a prior restraint have a chilling effect, which in turn has the same impact of muzzling dissent? Would the restrictions be reasonable or proportionate under A.19? Isn’t there a larger public interest in having this information published? Self-regulation is the only way to go, but the standards of what the people should know are justifiably different between different news houses.
I agree that the press should be more responsible in its reporting, as a general statement. In this case, I think the responsible thing to do is to report from burial grounds and show the true state of affairs. The State’s responsibility is the State’s and it cannot be allowed to pass the buck. The situation on the ground is true, and that is why it is causing panic. There is adequate cause for panic for someone who is affected by this damned virus. It is the State’s duty to restore trust and improve the situation on the ground. If the authorities do that, they will automatically get good press. The LDF government in Kerala is a prime example of this.
I think a conversation about whether the press should report such true stories from the ground level diverts from the real issue. The best way to prevent panic buying, improve mental health etc is for the government to lead by example. Preventing the truth from being reported is hardly a solution. In fact, the pressure built by such posts forces the government to do more to save face.
In the past, I've written multiple posts on this platform hoping to uplift myself and the lovely people of this forum before the exams. Our worries at the time seem so trivial to me now, in hindsight.
The last few months have been extremely rough on me. I am well and truly spent mentally. It has been a real struggle to get myself functioning in the way that I feel like my old self again. I like to believe I've made some progress; I tell people I have, but the truth of that is suspect. That is why I have refrained from writing a similar post this time. It wouldn't have been honest or authentic at all. But, I believe the time has now come for us to show strength even when we cannot muster it despite our best efforts. So, I'll try.
This damned virus has taken away so much from a lot of us. It has drained us in ways that we couldn't have imagined in our worst dreams. What we feel is normal, and I really want to say that it will pass, but I don't know for sure that it will.
Each of us have our own struggles. After a while, in this exam, we start thinking of ourselves as numbers. Look at profile bios for example. Attempts: xx; Prelims: xx; Mains: xx; Interviews: xx; AIR:xx. A common template, but such vastly different stories. Each attempt is a new one as far as UPSC is concerned, but we go into it with the baggage (or experience, if you are lucky) of our previous attempts.
It is well and truly a herculean exercise to carry all that weight on our shoulders all the time. So much so that we secretly wish that we could just shrug it off and start afresh; or leave the field altogether. Instead, a lot of the time, even if our minds tell us we can't, we soldier on. We work on making our shoulders stronger. We don't realise it a lot of the time, but that is essentially what we do. Every day we decide to continue carrying that weight, we decide to soldier on and on. We aren't sure of what our choices will achieve; none of us are. Yet, we try.
I don't see any point in romanticising suffering and convincing ourselves that our cause is somehow a noble one. If our shoulders would most definitely collapse under that weight we carry, maybe our best course is to lighten the load or even set it aside completely. We'd still be so much stronger than we were when we started. That's what we get for sure from this struggle. We don't know if we'll win or lose at the end of this all, but we will most definitely be better. All that we can do is try, and try we must, one day at a time. Let's be mindful that we have chosen to do what we are doing right now. This isn't a fate we are condemned to, but a conscious choice. We're all soldiers on the same battlefield fighting extremely different demons in our own heads.
"We choose our own misery and our own pleasure, and sometimes we choose both at the same time." It's an odd place to be, but let's not forget, we chose to be here. If it's a maze that we find ourselves in, we best know that maze and our escape route. Keep faith and continue the search, my lovely people of Forum. That's the best we can do, and that's all we can aspire for. :)
I know people have bigger issues, even more in these scary times due to Covid. When I pinged Shabbir Sir, he asked me to thank my stars and reminded me that I was in a good place- totally correct. But my frustration just doesnt go away! It cant
I am in the US and i have been preparing for this exam for the last almost an year. Rather i should say i resumed my prep after failing thrice in CSE and having left for my masters. Age 31; didnt switch jobs which could have definitely fetched me 50k$ more; didnt also put extraordinary efforts at work that could have made me a star in my LOB- bas jitna bola, utna kam deliver kr diya; sidelined every possible fun for this exam, there is so much to get distracted from when you get to stay in the US - lake view apartment hai mera and i can see Mt Rainier from my balcony if it is not cloudy in Seattle. Friends make trips to several places every long weekend, but i dont accompany them, i choose to study; they party and talk of buying homes! With so many temptations and fun that my friends do infront of me, I have been studying and now US has imposed a travel ban for flights from India that is unlikely to be uplifted until and unless cases come down in the range of 50-60k.
I feel as if I prepared for abattle that i couldnt even fight in.
Sala kbhi kbhi lgta hai ambitious hona bhi bekar chiz hai. Kum cheezo se jo log satisfy ho jate hain, their life is so much simpler.
Aisa lag rha zindagi khacchar ki tarah mehnat krva rahi thi for no reason! Frustrated to the core!
You're only 31, you have a lake view apartment in Seattle, and can shift jobs even now to make that additional $50k. Doesn't sound like a shabby life by any stretch of imagination. Personally, I have to agree with Shabbir sir. But I guess you must be so committed to the idea of clearing CSE that the possibility of not being allowed to try one last time frustrates you a lot. To each his own.
However, I have a genuine doubt. When you had such a solid backup, did you happen to lose your fear of failure in the exam?
Obviously I will have to tell them about the gap...But I will prepare something concrete on what to say.I have a group in telegram where we will be collectively preparing for the interviews.
Congratulations on clearing Phase 2!
I don’t think you need to worry too much about the gap years. If at all it comes up, you can always tell them that you decided to dive into something that you grew up dreaming about. As an organisation, even RBI would want ambitious people who have belief in their own abilities even if the odds are not in their favour. You did that, and that is why they should hire you. The preparation hasn’t depleted your value in any way, this is evident because you cleared Phase 2. You are someone who they will need in their corner when the chips are down. Simply because you have proved that in your own life before. There’s absolutely no shame in not clearing UPSC CSE, show them that instead of being ashamed, you turned that into your strength.
I’m going back to my old job after a gap of 3 and a half years, but talked my way to a 50% hike by saying the above with conviction. Your leverage is that you will add value others won’t.
PS: This is obvious, but tell them you are done with attempting UPSC.
@Patootie Can the system become honest.Todays wealthy have their wealth because of biased decision making of govt of past.For example,rajput caste in bihar owns a lot of land .They all got the land because british made them the zamindar.Kurmi caste in bihar prospered because ranjit don made a lot of kurmis doctors, engineers,job holders by other means.Todays upper caste prospered because they discriminated against backward castes.A person fromdelhi has much better access to higher education than a person of bihar,even if they score same marks in JEE or NEET.Can you call that corruption?
I'd call that injustice, and all injustice is corruption. I don't see the system becoming honest, not in my lifetime. But I'd never say never. :)
to whom else this sounds like farzi insider info?
I think it reads like the most legitimate thing on the internet tbh. Dang, if he made it all up, serious skills!
Although, I agree with you on many fronts, but lets not bring the gender issue here.
Women are indeed give good roles.
Guri’s ex did make it to SPSC. Her confidence while confronting Abhilash’s negative approach is well appreciated.
Dhairya always had clarity of though. Unlike Abhilash, she read terms and conditions of fee back so well. She helped Abhilash get a new specs. She always had Plan B of going to rural areas and fight against drug abuse. She did it.
The landlady where Abhilash was staying, had more wisdom than her husband. She made him shift TV to next room.
Kusum kept waiting for Sandeep Bhaiya for years, honesty, loyalty, sacrifice is not just in everyone’s character.
Women are indeed shown in glorified manner. So what if not UPSC, their personaliy is shown way much better than Abhilash, Guri, Sandeep, SK combined. Sandeep, Abhilash were so much self centred. Men were the ones who realised their mistake at the end.
Absolutely loved this discussion! Amazed at the depth of the arguments. Especially those of @whatonly @Villanelle @DeekshitaP probably because I agreed with them more. :P
@Jammu , your observations made me think. Thank you! But here’s what I came up with.
I think women are given good roles as well. They are portrayed as good and talented people. You’ve pointed out the examples. However, on a closer analysis, we can find that:
“Guri’s ex” clearing SPSC was a plot device to prove the hypothesis that relationships at ORN don’t last; a hypothesis discussed by a number of males at a tea shop.
Dhairya’s clarity of thought was also a plot device to show that she was the answer to the problems Abhilash was facing. Behind every successful man, there stands a woman types. While I agree with this general statement, I don’t think most women aspire to be the answer to a man’s problems. To a lot of them, I believe lack of clarity of thought/ misplaced priorities on the part of a male might be a huge turnoff.
The landlady does get the husband to shift the TV to another room. However, that is only when Abhilash starts bringing her stuff, and tries to step into the shoes of her absent son. Here, the landlady is portrayed in a good light when her motherly instincts kick in.
Sandeep Bhaiyya loved the exam and the idea of clearing it more than he loved her. He could have married her much earlier if it was so important to him. Hence, he made a choice. He made his priorities clear despite knowing her limitations. It’s not portrayed in the show as such, but I think we can assume he isn’t a bumbling idiot. Kusum’s honesty, loyalty and sacrifice towards a man who couldn’t sacrifice for her shouldn’t really be celebrated in my view. Rather toxic, that relationship. She made a poor call, I think. But in the show, her dutiful nature is portrayed in a good light.
Finally, after all, it is a show about “men realising their mistake at the end.” Also, I don’t see why all the women in the show had to be fair, fit and conventionally pretty.
» show previous quotes» show previous quotesNo compromise with bench should be done. I always remain mentally prepared for faulty bench and subsequent action of getting it replaced. Go inside exam hall 20 minutes early check your seat and if there is any problem raise your request with teacher (in all probability he/she will try to ignore you) if they don't replace your seat go to UPSC personnel at centre they are mostly old age person and are very helpful request him politely, most of the time these person will solve your issue without any problem.p.s. - You guys continue nostalgic/ anlaytical stories of IITs/ experience of ORN bhut interesting lag raha hai.
@BlueLotus I couldn't do it before the paper because many students before me had raised the issue to no avail. I stayed back after the essay paper to find a different bench. It took me 20-30 mins to get it replaced but at least I was in a better mood for the rest of my papers. I totally agree with you on being mentally prepared beforehand. Thanks.
I think a lot of it has to do with having a thorough conviction that it is going to be your day.
I remember that I had that for prelims. The invigilator wasted at least 5 minutes before I got my question paper. When I opened the question paper, I didn’t know any of the first 20 questions. I was extremely annoyed with the invigilator. However, at that time, I was in a bubble where I could keep the external stimulus out if I chose to. An exam hall is no place for firefighting. I took a minute to take some deep breaths, gather my thoughts, told myself that I was extremely prepared for the exam and that if I found the paper tough, everyone would. If I hadn’t taken that minute, I think I could easily have lost the plot.
For mains, I did not have the same conviction I had for prelims. Not even close, actually. I remember during GS2, I got annoyed with the invigilator who interrupted me so that I could sign/bubble something. That interruption took over one minute which feels like an hour in the actual exam hall. While I was bubbling, I asked the invigilator why it couldn’t have been done earlier. This incident threw me off track a bit. I lost my train of thought and focus for some time. I wasted too much of my attention on the fact that the invigilator wasn’t doing his job to my satisfaction. Attentiveness is a limited resource and during mains, your entire focus should be on the question in front of you.
The best we can do is to be prepared before the event. I hope to find that bubble again. :)
I think the time is ripe for an oft repeated IIT joke.How do you tell if someone went to an IIT?Don’t worry, they’ll tell you. :PPeople will tell they went to iit.But won't tell that they got into it with 1 lakh rank(if you know what i mean) when I missed it despite getting 10678 rank.
Similarly people advised me last year about writing mains answer because they had got 750s rank.When marks came I had more marks than them,but I did'nt get interview call(if you know what I mean)
Anyways,frustration of abhilash in episode 5 sitting on that tea shop was genuine.Many feel the same way.
If you know what I mean.Anyways there is no point in discussing things I can't change.Best of luck to all of us.
1 thing I realized here is that people will discuss very high intelluctual things.Tell you that they xyz rank or have done pqr things.They put you down.
But when you do background check you come to know you knew much more than them,had better marks than them.
Thanks and bye.Don't curse me now.Had I known this gyaan some 2 months back I would have been much more calm now.
It was eye opening 2 months here.
Thanks @Noleisgoat for all you have done.
Peace and amen
Mate congrats on your interview call and all, but by “if you know what I mean”, you are putting down the achievements of reserved candidates. You are basically doing what you accuse others of doing. Failure is a tough pill to swallow, but there are a great number of lessons for you if you manage to swallow it with grace.
I think the time is ripe for an oft repeated IIT joke.How do you tell if someone went to an IIT?Don’t worry, they’ll tell you. :PPeople will tell they went to iit.But won't tell that they got into it with 1 lakh rank(if you know what i mean) when I missed it despite getting 10678 rank.
Similarly people advised me last year about writing mains answer because they had got 750s rank.When marks came I had more marks than them,but I did'nt get interview call(if you know what I mean)
Anyways,frustration of abhilash in episode 5 sitting on that tea shop was genuine.Many feel the same way.
If you know what I mean.Anyways there is no point in discussing things I can't change.Best of luck to all of us.
1 thing I realized here is that people will discuss very high intelluctual things.Tell you that they xyz rank or have done pqr things.They put you down.
But when you do background check you come to know you knew much more than them,had better marks than them.
Thanks and bye.Don't curse me now.Had I known this gyaan some 2 months back I would have been much more calm now.
It was eye opening 2 months here.
Thanks @Noleisgoat for all you have done.
Peace and amen
Mate congrats on your interview call and all, but by “if you know what I mean”, you are putting down the achievements of reserved candidates. You are basically doing what you accuse others of doing. Failure is a tough pill to swallow, but there are a great number of lessons for you if you manage to swallow it with grace.
In his defence he was going after those who flaunt their achievement after getting worse ranks. not reservations per se. i have to second the observation. have seen several ppl with much worse ranks getting in and advertising themselves as youngest ias youngest ips. i dont share the same feelings though. also i dont think he was belittling anyones experience or achievement. perhaps the bitterness, justified or otherwise, did come through his words there. it is a shared experience of many in the open category. we need to empathise with this pov as well. it is the reality of many. lets respect that.
My point is there is nothing wrong with a reserved candidate flaunting her achievements. Even if they have lesser ranks, the system considers such candidates meritorious. If an OBC candidate with rank 400 gets IAS at 20 years of age, I don’t see why they shouldn’t advertise themselves as the youngest IAS in the batch.
“If you know what I mean” was a euphemism for “they have lesser marks and are hence, less deserving than I.” That is the definition of belittling their achievement. To empathise with the perceived experience of an UC candidate based on his own biases is to feed the argument that reserved candidates are less meritorious. I’ll pass.
Also, no kidding. Joji is the best movie I’ve watched in a long long time.For thrillers, maybe check out Memories or Forensic or the Drishyam series for more recent flicks. If you are looking for older movies, you could check out Yavanika or Oru CBI Diary Kurippu.For sad movies, Mohanlal’s Thanmaathra and Mammooty’s Kaazhcha are amazing.For feel good movies, maybe watch Classmates or Thirakatha or Kilukkam or Godfather or In Harihar Nagar series or Ramji Rao series or Yodha. So many off the top of my head.These are all movies which I grew up watching. Sorry for rambling. :DJoji was the best movie I've seen this year! Been suggesting it to every non malayali friend I talk to :D
Great suggestions! But Forensic? Really? Amongst these? *rolls eyes*
Doooood. I confused Anjaam Paathira with Forensic. 😅
Even Anjaam Paathira is a bit overrated if you ask me. But good entertainment value!
Another crime related movie is Mumbai Police, which I loved.
Also, why is Salt & Pepper, Da Thadiya, Praanjiyettan, Ayyappanum Koshiyum, Neelakasham Pachakkadal Chuvanna Bhoomi, Maheshinte Prathikaaram, Thondi Muthalum Driksaakshiyum, Take Off and Traffic not figuring in these discussions?!
All discussions here regarding women & related issues + Malyalam movies = Great Indian Kitchen. It's a good watch.
I think it’s supremely underrated. It was a wonderful depiction of reality. I watched it with my Mom and Dad.
Many people, my Dad included, thought that the movie was highly repetitive because of the great number of scenes with women doing household chores. I thought that was the brilliance of it though. The monotony that the average Indian woman grapples with is so real.
Needless to say, the vocal feminists in the house (my Mom and I) made our displeasure known to Dad. :P
.
Hey, can you tell me a specific reason for choosing Rau's focus? Seeing a lot more people nowadays doing it.
Any specific reason for it over vision?
Hey man. I stumbled across these newspaper analysis videos by Rau's on youtube once, and I loved them. I thought the videos were extremely well made and helped me cover the Hindu quite effectively. I started doing Focus magazines because I thought they went just a little bit beyond the strict requirements of syllabus in their notes. It was a good thing for me because it gave me more context while I was reading anything, and helped me to internalise the topic better as I would link it with the videos. It gave just the right amount of fodder for an answer, while not murdering any topic with way too much information you don't need and which you can't hope to remember. I personally found it so much better than any other monthly on the market for the reason that it was extremely simple and quite interesting to read. I also thought the layout and the colours were nice.
Any opinions on monthlies vs PT365 or Monthlies vs Mains365?
I think mains365 comes too late in the day, maybe a month or two before mains thus hindering the opportunity of multiple revisions. Monthlies are released just within a month (or less than) giving a scope of multiple revisions. Does mains 365 contain any specific topics not mentioned in the monthlies?
I'd say that if you have your notes already, trust them. Check mains 365 only for incremental additions which you can incorporate into your notes. Keep revising the notes. If you don't have notes like me, Mains 365 is your best bet in the limited time. It's impossible to revise (cover to cover) all the monthlies after prelims gets over, unless you've read each of them like 10 times before. Maybe you could pick out small portions from the monthlies and save them to read along with Mains 365? Still, would suggest limiting them to around 100 pages or less. Even Mains 365 from the previous years can be really helpful . I'm revising the Mains 365 from last year because I didn't think it was purely a current affairs magazine. It has plenty of fodder even for 2021 mains or even 2019 mains for that matter. My plan is to do less, but do it much better.
@Villanelle well i failed two mains after appearing interview in 2017 mainly due to the same issue and underconfidence.now i have realised that whatever we study or notes we make it should be such that we are in a position to revise the whole syllabus in one day or so. for instance in FOMO, we just go on to add more newer and newer material, we feel that we can process it in few revisions but that do not happen.although i did not clear pre last time, but i just prepared with the notion of giving mains. what i discovered was that i can reproduce well and be confident together only if i can pullout multiple revisions of the whole syllabus. for example if i have to write a test on say gs2, i enure that i have enough content to revise the whole syllabus in two seatings a day prior to exam. now you would also know, how much notes we can revise in 2 seatings of say 5 hours each. so notes should be only such that you can revise the whole syllabus. so my whole gs2 notes are close to 180 pages. thats it, nothing more nothing less. and i am not going to add anything new in it, unless until very important issue comes up.more than notes, its the revision and that to of the whole syllabus. it has helped me to write good answers and made me more confident.in my two mains failure 2018,19.i did prepare thoroughly, read good materials made my own notes.but i used to revise in silos, for example- economy, security and so on. i just lacked that mental stamina to withstand whole syllabus revision, thats what matters the most. if you can sustain that, definitely your mains will go well. ad thats what i am going to do in 2021.so dont focus on FOMO of new mains issue and material, but on FOMO of whole syllabus revision.
Got it.
Your commitment towards thinking in memes is the level of commitment I aspire to. :)
@Patootie Hi, what's your strategy for world history & post independence? In mains 2020 I read vision world history notes first part full and second part half (because of the paucity of time) and in post independence I saw some videos and that's it. I am unable to plan better for those topics as the weightage is so less, kindly guide me.
YouTube/ documentaries in my free time for World History. If I get time, I’ll make short notes. Highly doubt I will get time.
Post independence, there is a very small book by Sonali Bansal. It’s a condensed version of fatter books with just the bare essentials.
I wouldn’t worry too much about this. Simply because these are the areas most aspirants are weak in. I pretty much skipped them last time. It isn’t an ideal strategy or a good one. It’s actually my lack of a strategy. Taking my chances with it.
@Patootie Hi, what's your strategy for world history & post independence? In mains 2020 I read vision world history notes first part full and second part half (because of the paucity of time) and in post independence I saw some videos and that's it. I am unable to plan better for those topics as the weightage is so less, kindly guide me.
YouTube/ documentaries in my free time for World History. If I get time, I’ll make short notes. Highly doubt I will get time.
Post independence, there is a very small book by Sonali Bansal. It’s a condensed version of fatter books with just the bare essentials.
I wouldn’t worry too much about this. Simply because these are the areas most aspirants are weak in. I pretty much skipped them last time. It isn’t an ideal strategy or a good one. It’s actually my lack of a strategy. Taking my chances with it.
In addition, one can also look for following:
World history- There is this book recommended by Anudeep Durishetty on his blog. Have given that a read, and I found that very good. If you can prepare notes strictly by observing PYQ, nothing better than that. Else, AD has himself prepared a crisp 70-80 page summary of that book. Found that helpful.
Post Independence- Two options. Read this NCERT which goes by the same name. Extract meaningful information out of it. And then use Google to supplement it. Example- If you read about Shimla Agreement, then note it down, and supplement all relevant info from google. In most of the cases, you won't require additional help, as NCERT is self sufficient.
Or, you may look at the last chapter in the book Plassey to Partition, by Shekar Bandyopadhyay. Have not read it thoroughly, but looked manageble. If any one has done SB, you may ask them about it's futility over and above NCERT.
This is the NCERT I am referring to- https://ncert.nic.in/textbook.php?leps2=0-9
And this is the SB's book- https://1lib.in/book/5905134/089f4c
Yeah this world history book is really good and easy to follow. But again, cost/benefit ratio doesn’t add up. Maybe you could use world history in essay as well if you know it well enough; I’ll simply have to work around it.
Anyone else feeling hopeless ? I mean i get it the postponement gives more time to prepare well and all that but given the nature of humanities as a subject there would always be another dimension to explore no matter how long you have studied.
Need some suggestions regarding the idea of joining a job right now ? What do you all think ? The whole thought of waiting until October for the exam cycle to start is giving me anxiety right now.
If you have spent more than two years preparing without a job, I think it’s unwise to keep waiting for this exam to work out for you.
Last year, when the pandemic hit, I was 2 and a half years without a job. I decided to keep on going with preparation even though I struggled with hopelessness. I turned things around a little bit, but before mains, I believe the anxiety came back and flooded my entire existence. When the mains results came, I was three and a half years without a job. What was worse, the second wave was at its onset and the economy had tanked like crazy due to the pandemic. Luckily, things worked out for me, but only because I had a lot of goodwill at my old company. I had lost a lot of value in the market (other than at my old company) because of my gap years. This isn’t fair or right necessarily, but that is simply how the game goes.
Nobody but you can make the decision of whether you should join a job now or not. I was sharing what happened with me. In hindsight, maybe I should have joined a job last year, but it’s easier to say that now. Whatever decision you choose to take, let it come from a rational place and not from an emotional one. Consider your own mental health and put that first. Consider the state of the economy and the inherent uncertainty in this exam. If you think financial independence and a secure future would help alleviate your pain, do that.
Don’t look at it as a 5 month postponement. Consider mains and interview as well. Do take into consideration the worst possible situation of clearing both prelims and mains and failing at the interview. I don’t wish that for you or anyone, but it’s important you consider that before you take this decision. This hopelessness and anxiety has a tendency to grow on us as we get closer to the goal. Think long term. Even the worst possible outcome. Do what you think is best for your health. All the best. :)
@Patootie true man! We used to be high entire weekend, 10-12 of us altogether. Kya din they wo!!😄
You mean
Friends I humbly submit this beauty. Feeling cute, might die of second-hand embarrassment later.
All of the Office videos are the best videos on YouTube. :D
“Joke’s on you, Goldenface. That man was a wanted animal rapist.” 😂😂😂
@Just_restless hey, what good is a philosophical essay which doesn’t give the reader and the author an existential crisis, amirite? :P
I know of a guy who thought the "ships don't sink" essay was purely about climate change and rising sea levels. Substantiated with stuff from Mains 365. Examiner must've had the ultimate mindfuck. I believe one's score in the philosophical essay is directly proportional to the depth of the mindfuck. Come to think of it, that guy's a genius.
@Just_restless hey, what good is a philosophical essay which doesn’t give the reader and the author an existential crisis, amirite? :P
I know of a guy who thought the "ships don't sink" essay was purely about climate change and rising sea levels. Substantiated with stuff from Mains 365. Examiner must've had the ultimate mindfuck. I believe one's score in the philosophical essay is directly proportional to the depth of the mindfuck. Come to think of it, that guy's a genius.
And there I was, writing pretentious crap about how a mindful manifesto is a catalyst to a tranquil self. My self was anything but tranquil. My self was shitting bricks at his first mains. Ugh.
@sstarrr This comes straight from the heart of a person who had daddy issues as big as his man boobs while growing up. Parents can sometimes be dead wrong. Socially accepted standards of morality are often wrong. I respect you for not trying to rationalise the cruel stuff that he did to you. I respect you for standing up for you and your brother. Physical or emotional abuse is never okay, irrespective of who does it. When it is a parent that does it, we spend our entire lives trying to reconcile it with the immutable idea that such abuse comes from a place of love. However, I think it comes from a lack of respect. Every child needs to be respected by the parent as well. Else, they grow up feeling inadequate. This leads them down a toxic path where it is their life's goal to make the abusive parent proud of them.
Your experience sounds extremely hurtful, and it is your truth. If your natural sense of justice does not allow you to accept it as natural, I respect you for trusting it. Like someone else said, it might be your father's conditioning that makes him act this way. That however does not impose upon you the moral responsibility to tolerate the abuse. It is your responsibility only to tell him how his actions affect you. It is his problem which he should correct, and from what you have said, it seems he is oblivious to it. If your father has a thorough conviction that his actions are infallible, you cannot hope to reason with that. Your only option is to accept it, and walk away from that if you must.
I respect you for having the courage to accept it at this young age. I hope things get better for you, dear friend. :)
@Patootie @SergioRamos@12432TrivendrumRajdhani @whatonly @Sherkhan1428 @DeekshitaP@AzadHindFauz @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh @Impavid_Girl
As I lack any constructive peer group and being a silent follower of your comments ,suggestions I request u guys to help me.
I failed to clear mains 2020. This was my 4th attempt and 3rd mains(first with sociology). The data for my attempts:
Age :28
Category: General
Status: working in govt sector
Year
Gs
Essay
Optional( chemistry
2017
430
125
160
2018
380
138
230
2019
Prelims failed by 2 marks
2020
Prelims score -125 around
Changed to Sociology
In my opinion i did all necessary things this time like test series( yearlong MGP with single digit ranks in majority tests) , value addition classes(Dipin sir) micro note making ,revision etc for GS,Essay and optional.
As the marks are not out yet and will only be out around September ,i am confused about the future strategy.I am planning to skip this attempt as
1.with the same efforts and strategy and without knowing the flaws ,recurrent mistakes i wont fetch good marks.
2.Compromised my departmental exam in last 2 years so this time I have to clear it anyhow.
3. confidence is at the rock bottom after giving it all in this attempt.
I feel there is some objectivity in mains as many people clear it every single time but the key challenges are -how to find that and how to approach now if I skip 2021 attempt.
Any suggestions from other members will also be welcomed.
Thanks
Looking for similar answers here about what works for mains. Quite clueless about a lot of things.
If I were in your position and if I really wanted to try again, I would do it in 2021. With postponement, you have plenty of time for improving your optional score. Your GS and essay scores of the past seem decent. I guess there's scope for improving your score by max 10-15 marks in each paper (GS, Essay), but the knowledge base for that is something you probably already have. Effective expression will get you those marks is what I feel. I think the little tweaks your answers need is something you can easily get right in the time that is available before 2021 attempt if you know what they are. I don't know what those changes are, and someone else would be able to guide you better. I hope you figure it out. :)
I don’t know if it’s all the doomsday scrolling, but I somehow don’t feel like the prospect of Prelims on October 10 is real.Optimism / pessimism, what should we call this?
Hopelessness.
It doesn’t feel real at all to me. As if there is no meaning to the press note relating to the postponement. It meant nothing to me. I feel quite numb about it.
Mehuifs : do you love your username more than your real name?Patootie : PatootiePS : just found it a bit funny and cute you referring yourself as patootie.
Mate, who’s to say my real name isn’t Patootie? :/
@Patootie Hey bro, you have law optional na ?
Always my bro
Mehuifs : do you love your username more than your real name?Patootie : PatootiePS : just found it a bit funny and cute you referring yourself as patootie.
Made me curious about the meaning of his username
I’m definitely the second one.
@Patootie Me too bro, its so hard to find guys/girls with law optional. You gave CSM 2020 ? If yes, cleared or not ?Asking since i couldnt find any law optional guy/girl in my vicinity clearing iteveryone seemed to struggle with the tough and unconventional Paper 2 this timeCould you throw some light on your experience and how you are approaching ahead
Mate guess what. You just found someone outside your vicinity who didn’t clear with law optional. :P
@Patootie Me too bro, its so hard to find guys/girls with law optional. You gave CSM 2020 ? If yes, cleared or not ?Asking since i couldnt find any law optional guy/girl in my vicinity clearing iteveryone seemed to struggle with the tough and unconventional Paper 2 this timeCould you throw some light on your experience and how you are approaching ahead
Jokes apart, just revision mate. I thought I did optional papers quite well actually. In any case, it’s historically never gotten over around 300. Presently, I’m focusing on things that are broken. I don’t think optional is one of the many things that are broken. :)
Meeeeeeee
Ya, if gentle is spelt as savage. :D
I'm also planning to run a course too on the theme-How to ruin your reputation in 10 mins: A Primer. :3
I love how we are all anonymous and yet, we have reputations to protect. :D
PS: Mate, the apology was classy but the self deprecating humour is the cherry on top. :)
At some point we should have a thread where everyone explains their usernames :P I have high hopes that some hilarious things will turn up (although nothing beats The Patoots)
Nothing beats the Patoots, amirite! :D
Alright, I’ll play. “Cutie Patootie” was one of the first things my love called me on the day we met. Joining forum was something I did when I was really depressed last year, much before prelims. I found the will to prepare again because of her, and naturally, my forum username was also inspired by her.
So, the username comes from a place of love. If you read my username without context, it just sounds like the opposite: a really dark place. :P
PS: I understand a lot of folks here think I’m a girl. In fact, I’m just an adorable boy. :P
Found this utterly true.
So just shared !
Speaking of such cultures, there is another trend:Study Blogging.
Some aspirants have started their pages where they would post snapshots of their notes, their rooms full of books, and their cute tables, filled with sticky notes and a cup of hot coffee sitting right there. And then many of these future officers would like to be addressed as "Ma'am", and "Sir".
Right from day 1.
Oh man. I thought this was limited to “Can I see a picture of your study room for CSE?” questions on Quora. There are complete blogs dedicated to this?
My study room looks like a murder just happened there.
Oh man. I thought this was limited to “Can I see a picture of your study room for CSE?” questions on Quora. There are complete blogs dedicated to this?
My study room looks like a murder just happened there.
There you go.
thesleepyhead,
Taking cues from this…
Never have I ever stuck maps on walls of my room.
This can be that unpopular of a practice among CSE people as some of my friends make it out to be, is it?
In my upsc nibbi days (thanks@SergioRamos!) I bought maps and stuck them all over with double sided tape.
My brother would sometimes wipe his hands on them. Then they tore and I took them down. The tape ruined my walls and now they look hideous in mock interviews.
I never used them either, I was too lazy to stand there so I used the atlas like a normal person.
Mere paas toh globe bhi tha. Maaro mujhe.
Humare paas bhi tha. Hum kya kam hai. The same globe he had in Aspirants 😂 the cheapest on amazon
Here's the twist in my story. One of my seniors before leaving gave it to me and said, "hum toh nai kar paaye, tum kar lena UPSC." Tab mujhe laga tha jaise main globe nai Filmfare ki trophy hath mei le ke khada hu.
Cut to 2021, yehi globe kabhi kabhi sar pe marne ka mann karta hai. :p
If you ever meet him again, Sandeep Bhaiyya ko humse pranam bolna :p
Oh man this is so cruel 😂
I guess who will be the prime minister@Villanelle @peterparker @Anduin @whatonly @SergioRamos @Usain_bolt @Patootie guys let me in the cabinet 😅😅
I’m not eligible to be PM because I would hold press conferences regularly if I won. Isn’t that a disqualification these days? :P
Hey, I am also interested. If others who are interested agree, we can start today itself from 3:00-4:30 (1 essay per week). Submit by 5. Read others answers by 6 and discussions/peer reviews for 1~1.5 hrs after that.Can a group be made for weekly essay practice and reviewing?
I know there are lot of issues involved while forming such groups. But, if there is any such group or you people are interested in forming such a group, do add me. Or should I join a test series to improve my essay writing ?
Your reviews on any essay test series that you people joined..?
Yes. We should. Count me in me if you decide to start something.
What do you say ? Also, I think it will be feasible to keep size of group slightly small (<=7~8)
Follow my strategy.
Don't write any essay.Just see topper copies.In this way you will be original in the exam and originality is rewarded.
Go in exam with a blank mind as if you have'nt studied anything.
When you make frameworks,write essays beforehand trust me you lose out(I lost out last year due to this).
This year I went with a blank mind.0 essays written.
And in exam in ships essay I could start with macauly real life story,quoted recent corona examples,gandhi sins,namaste london film and could conclude with another poem made on the spot in exam.
In patriarchy essay,again could invent a poem on the spot in the exam about patriarchy being not visible still being present,could quote gargi,razia sultana.Write about deepika padukone and indira gandhi and other usual stuff like data,policies and could divide essay using subheadings like Lighting Candles of equality.Concluded with a nehru quote.
All of this could be done as mind was'nt occupied by advises or frameworks.
Wrote whatever I felt and in whatever way I felt was right.
Although marks are still not out,I am hopeful of atleast scoring above average if not the topmost marks.
Thanks.
I honestly don’t have the confidence to do something like this. Personally, I work best when I have some pre-meditated idea of what I intend to write and basically reproduce a version of that in the exam hall. This sort of spontaneity is quite unnerving
Not only in essay.I did this this in all gs papers and even optional.0 answers written.
Even in pre I wrote 0 pre tests.
I had decided f**k all coachings,all toppers advises as they led to my downfall in last attempt.
I decided I would write whatever I feel in whatever way I feel in the exam in all the 7 papers and even in pre.
Thanks to rishab pant and his coach.
Dekho kya hota hai.
Congrats on clearing, but I feel not practicing either essay or answer writing or mocks for prelims is far from ideal for the average aspirant. Rather, I would say it’s a recipe for disaster. However, I agree with you that falling into a rut or being extremely rigid in answer writing can be dangerous as well. I think practice helps one to identify their own strengths and weaknesses and mould their answers accordingly. It is true that most coaching classes have a model for everything which they try to shove down your throat. That is probably because it is an average Joe safe approach. If one has a good understanding of this exam and of themselves, they’ll know how best to utilise the feedback from coaching institutes. Sometimes, it might be to accept the advice wholeheartedly. Sometimes, it might be to accept parts of the advice. Sometimes, it would be to reject it altogether. Either way, way too many people have passed and failed in this exam for us to say that there is a correct approach that will work for everyone.
There is so much about your approach that I don’t agree with. Yet, you cleared the exam using it and I’m happy that you did. Good luck for your interview. :)
Dost dar ke aage hi to jeet hai.
On a serious note,maybe u r right.
But I followed this approach last year for optional and end up with 266 despite leaving 2 questions.
And even clared pre with this approach twice with +15 more than cutoff last year and 20 this year.
So either this strategy will yield complete bullshit or may be a double digit or single digit rank.
Only time will tell and only god knows
Mate, your achievements are laudable and I’m not discrediting any of it. Maybe you’ll end up with AIR 1 this time. That still would not convince me to use your approach. I’m not discrediting the utility of your approachfor you.This clearly works for you. All I’m saying is that ifIspent a year mugging up Yojana, ARC and my optional notes alone,(with absolutely no practice like you say you did)Iwould fail like many others on this forum. Your credentials wouldn’t change my opinion on that.
This is because, even if you clear with your approach, there will be plenty others who clear with a close to conventional approach. The only thing that we can establish is that those who cleared followed an approach that was customised to work for them. :)
Hello gentle friends of forum, can anyone recommend a good book on Indian agriculture? Its history, economy, problems etc. Looking for helpful analysis and suggestions related to the sector.I will strongly suggest "Everybody loves a good drought " by P. Sainath. I have read that book once and it's awesome. Tells you the ground realities of India. P. Sainath is one of the best minds in India when it comes to agriculture. You can also see some of his YouTube lectures .
Short summary of evolution can be found anywhere but for proper understanding history of agriculture, I don't think any mainstream book will do justice to this topic. If you are interested you can read some proper academic books on History of Indian economy.
This is a brilliant read!
However, it’s quite dated since it came out nearly 25 years ago if I’m not mistaken. Also, it’s not limited to agriculture. If you want to really delve deep into the topic and have a more holistic picture, I would recommend the Dalwai panel report. It’s daunting in size, but there is a lot that you can skip. :)
Hello gentle friends of forum, can anyone recommend a good book on Indian agriculture? Its history, economy, problems etc. Looking for helpful analysis and suggestions related to the sector.Have heard good reviews about this one. (Can't certify personally. Have not read it. But isspey bohot din se nazar hai meri)
https://www.amazon.in/dp/9353333091/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_3FNN37T6M9S87KBS4M6N
@12432TrivendrumRajdhani thanks for A Rural Manifesto, it has been lying there unread for a year by now.
Try,
- Everyone loves a good drought
- Poor Economics
Recommending these as Agriculture in general - being associated with Rural India & Poverty, and others.
Is Poor Economics worth the read?
It’s about how small changes can bring about compounded positive effects in the lives of the underprivileged. Banerjee and Duflo quote experiments (RCTs) and anecdotes from the world over to substantiate their point. It’s an interesting read. Whether it’s a book I would recommend for the exam, I’m not so sure. Unless there is a specific question on the potential of RCTs, randomly bringing up examples from the book in a GS paper might be a bit pretentious I feel. Can maybe be used in the essay paper.
Does anyone have a book or pdf on Great Indian Personalities? Any collection?
P.S: Not asking for any coaching reference material.
There is a book by Ramchandra Guha called "Makers of modern India ". Its a good read. But it has only historical personalities of freedom struggle.
Don't know if that will intrest you.Baki random pdfs can be found anywhere.
If you have it in pdf or any ebook format, can you please send it to me.
www.b-ok.asia
Most of the books you want.
-Your friendly neighbourhood lawyer
I know this isn't something to brag about but I had coke like max twice in my entire life and too out of peer pressure. I just find it disgusting. Mere liye ek Frooti pls.
And hi, fellow faster! We should have an accountability thread for fasting buddies.
I read this without context of the lays debate. I thought the story would be much more interesting until you started talking about frooti. I thought you were talking about coke but turns out you were just talking about coke. :P
Hello forum ppl...wanted an advice
Graduated in 2016,27yo,hv given 3 attempts(gave mains once)..but now i am feeling very unsure of UPSC.Thinking of giving CAT to get into IIMs. Is it a wise option?
Would definitely advice picking up a job or masters as soon as you can. I feel the value addition that comes after 2 full time attempts is less. The more time you have, the more you waste. As for MBA, I don’t have enough knowledge and I can’t say. :)
80%of higher caste people voting for a lowet caste PM alone should tell you something.
Caste, superstition and other backwardness should be addressed for all the religions equally and immediately. But "intellectualism" in India is interpreted as trashing Hinduism. Putting down Hindus and then keep kicking them. This practice in itself is equally backwards and medieval.
If you want to call yourself intellectual, you should be able to address all the backwardness in society without sounding like a biased elitist.
Ambedkar did it, why can't modern day wannabe intellectuals.
.
I was hoping to not say this because intolerant intellectual are very intolerant of anything criticizing the religion of peace. Also because a few days back i saw a Muslim auto driver go out of his way to help a hindu Covid+ pregnant lady. I've seen a lot of examples of Muslims being more helpful than Hindus.
You probably live in a mostly Hindu state to think of India as Holi and diwali. But in states like kerala, telangana, TN, UP, Bihar, Assam, WB, etc. The picture of India seems a bit different. Crowded Mosque roads on fridays, sea of skull caps and 4 AM wake up call are the norm.
What I mean to say is that the second largest minority is large enough in most state for their backwardness to be of concern to everyone. What Ambedkar said about them in this book http://www.columbia.edu/itc/mealac/pritchett/00ambedkar/ambedkar_partition/index.html#contents still holds true. They still don't believe in real science, just the stuff taught in madatsas. I'm traveling in a train right now. 6 out of 8 people in the cabin and side are Muslims and only I am wearing a mask. May be RSS taught them pseudo science too. Or may be they still believe in the infallibility of very hard sciences mentioned in that book of theirs. They still torture animals because it's halal. What's to say they won't follow the book and try to turn darul harb into darul islam by waging something mentioned in the same book.
Last time partition happened was because they were 23% and religion was more important to them than nation. It still is more so for the educated people working in private sector and even government.
I'm sorry if it sounds rude but by not acknowledging and addressing the backwardness of largest minority, pseudo intellectuals are further deepening the already deep divisions between the two communities.
.
I had this in my mind ever since I failed prelims in my first attempt last year. I feel, my score must've been pretty close to the cutoff but confidence since then is shattered and hasn't fully recovered yet. Everything began in November, started introspecting whether the risk I took to appear for the exam will ever payback. One contributing factor to this was two of my friends, who also had the first attempt got through prelims. I felt a bit lonely while preparing as now my preparation phase wasn't in sync with them. When they both got their interview call, I did feel confident that if they can, I can too.
Still, every other fortnight I can't get over. I'm still whining, which I shouldn't. I started looking up for backups, gave RBI exam without even reading up the syllabus and scored a pretty decent score. That did feel good but it wasn't for long. Now, I'm not looking up any backup option till the 2021 mains.
There are few things I need an answer for
- How difficult is it to get a decent backup option in 8-10months? I don't want to sit idle and waste half of my 20s preparing for just an exam. Can someone list government exam which have similar syllabus as that of CSE. Maths and reasoning isn't an issue.
- Having an interest in policymaking, is that a good option to look for? Any feedback regarding Young India fellowship? Also, I've few leads to QCI, if that can help.
- How do you handle the uncertainty about your future?
Little background about me relevant for this query - Graduated in 2020 with electronics engineering. I didn't sit for placements in my college for civils preparation.
1. If you have a gap of over two years post graduation, depending on your academic credentials, you might find it moderately difficult to extremely difficult to find yourself a job. However, if you are willing to start small and lower your expectations initially, you might be less disappointed. You can always move up the ladder based on your work. While preparation does add a lot of value even in an unrelated field (I am experiencing this rn), the market does not see it that way. You have not been sitting idle. The knowledge, habits and discipline that you have cultivated will always help you. Yet, the recruiter will think that you have wasted two years and when you don’t contest that idea, he/she is even less likely to hire you.
About backup exams, I would advise you to not mindlessly give exams without preparing and accumulate failure. Choose the thing that you wouldn’t mind doing for the rest of your life. Only then does it become a backup option. You needn’t necessarily enjoy work always, but it should be something you don’t mind doing. “What are the exams I can clear” shouldn’t be the starting point. Focus on the job that you will get afterwards. This is purely personal. I, for one, wouldn’t even have wanted a few Group A services if that were my backup because I would’ve always been left wondering about what could have been, had I not left my corp job or prepared for IAS better. If it comes to a point where you cannot clear this exam (attempt wise or age wise or even if it’s a personal choice), you should be able to dust yourself off and truly move on with your life.
2. I have always been drawn to policy work. I believe a UPSC aspirant has a natural aptitude and interest towards it. If you are interested, I would advise you to do your research on various policy organisations, the work they do, their entry level requirements etc. Even here, I would advise you to short list and target a few policy organisations and prepare your application specifically for those organisations. Customise your application so that you get noticed. I have little knowledge about fellowships, so I can’t help you there.
3. The uncertainty about the future drove me nuts. I left my job and got into preparation because I wanted to get out of my comfort zone. I thought that only if you were outside your comfort zone could you truly grow. While I have grown both as a person and in terms of my knowledge, I do not subscribe to that idea anymore. Being secure about the future is one of primary preconditions for growth for many people. For some people, the insecurity of not having a secure job and stable income pushes them to work harder and achieve more. I was not one of those people. For me, the uncertainty tended to drown me in my own insecurities. It hampered my preparation a lot. The only solution is having a backup you don’t mind doing. If you have spent over two years preparing, depending on the kind of person you are, I would advise you to either use your insecurity as motivation or to give in to the insecurity and get a job. However, do make a reasoned assessment and not an emotional one.
Don’t get a job because you think you have wasted two years. Likewise, dont prepare without a job simply in line with the sunk cost fallacy. Think about all the factors at play including but not limited to:
a)the harsh truth about your value diminishing in the job market with more gap years,
b)the state of the economy,
c)your goals,
d)your mental health,
e)how your decisions affect the people you love,
f) your productivity when you prepare without a backup and the value addition/lack of value addition it causes.
Sorry about the long post, there is no right answer. Let your decision be rational and not emotional. Hope you make the right call for yourself! :)
How preparation phase is helping you right now??You mentioned that we don't realise the benefit of discipline, knowledge, that this prep phase teach us.Can you be elaborate on what you realised now? I know you got a job,So how does your prep phase helped you in this job?
Okay, looooooooooooooong answer. :P
As I’ve explained before on this platform, I had a gap of 3 and a half years after work ex of 2 years. I went back to the same designation but with a reasonable hike. I was extremely fortunate because I still had the goodwill from the time I worked at the organisation previously.
In order to understand what I mean by improved performance, I think you need a little background. I was 21 when I first got the job and just turned 22 when I joined. I got the job despite having chilled excessively for five years in college. I had decent marks and good extra curricular achievements but I never had to work extremely hard for them. Further, I had the National Law School tag, even though I was from a lower rung one.
When I first joined the organisation in 2016, I did not understand the value of hard work. I did not understand the relevance of my job and how important it was even in the larger scheme of things. I was working alongside MBAs from IIMs and few other people who took their work extremely seriously. Even in that climate, I realised that I could still chill and get by. I had unlimited sick leaves (which I abused), and I used the many opportunities that came by where I could skive off work. Despite that, I made a decent impression at the workplace because I had the uncanny ability to make it appear as if I was the guy who had things under control. I did fake it a lot of the time, and that helped. You might think I’m lying, but I assure you that I am not. There is a saying in the movie American Beauty: “In order to be successful, one must always project the image of success.” I lived by this philosophy, and still do to some extent. That is what allowed me to go back to the job after such a long gap.
In the second year that I worked there, my work always played second fiddle to my preparation. I did not mention a word about wanting to leave until I actually put in my papers. People depended on me, and I disregarded that by keeping my intentions of leaving a complete secret. Even after I put in my papers, the head of the legal department offered me leave for one year so that I could write the exam. Despite that offer, I quit simply because they were banking on me failing the exam when they made the offer. Stupid decision in retrospect.
I know all of this makes me seem like someone who did not understand his privilege and the opportunity he was presented, but that is because I was. There are no two ways about it.
Cut to 2021. Things which took me days to respond to now take me minutes. In 2017, I handled a limited portfolio, but now I handle all of the portfolio relating to Small and Medium Enterprises in all of Tamil Nadu and Kerala. Because of my preparation and the kind of value it added, I understand the value of my work. In 2016, I thought of myself as a paper pusher who made a rich organisation richer. Now, I understand my role and its importance vis-a-vis the people of the country and the economy as a whole. I understand the implication of each clause of every document I approve because of my knowledge of economics, and this goes much beyond what my role demands. I respect the hardworking people I work with, and always try to help rather than thinking that the easier way out is to not help them out. My preparation for my optional has made me thorough with laws I need to use, and that contributes immensely to my work everyday in terms of productivity gains. Rather than thinking of myself and my needs as the end, I think of how I can best use my role to support causes that would help my country.
I’m now able to identify the problems associated with most of the transactions I deal with and that too, from multiple dimensions. More importantly, I have become solution driven, and more often than not, I identify solutions along with the problem.
I don’t mean to say that I don’t fake it anymore. Of course I do. Only difference is that now, I go back and get to a position where I don’t have to fake it the next time. Maybe all this added value is a factor of my age as well. I’m not 22 anymore. I turned 27 last May, and I’ve grown into a much more well rounded individual.
I respect the job so much more, because I know what it was like when I did not have the comfort it offered. I know what it means to fail. I hadn’t tasted real failure or real loss before. I didn’t know how to bounce back. I didn’t know how to stay calm when things weren’t going my way. My sense of responsibility was limited to staying out of trouble, and making an impression for myself. I’m simply not that person anymore.
Even now, I wake up at 4 in the morning every day to prepare for this exam. My work day ends post 8 on most work days. Yet, I find time for a workout and for speaking to the people I love. This exam taught me how to do that.
Hey fellow aspirants, I need some help.
I find it extremely difficult to follow monthly magazines. Initially I thought that it was probably one particular institute whose magazine I am finding difficult to grasp. But, I have tried quite a few including Forum's, and somehow feel that these magazines are not for me.
There seems to be too much information overload. And somehow , I always ALWAYS end up NOT COMPLETING ANY MAGAZINE. It is not that I dont read newspapers and rely solely on magazines, but I just find myself difficult to concentrate and spend hours on just one issue.
It read one page and by the time I reach the next one, I already forget what I read minutes ago.
IT is so demotivating everytime.
I sometimes decide not to go through any magazine, but thats when the FOMO hits really hard. Everyone is reading Monthlies, Yearlies and so on and here I am, not able to finish even a single document.
Please help.
Just tagging a few people here whose name I can recall at the moment. Others may also give in their opinons @SergioRamos @Arrokoth @Patootie @nerdfighter @DeekshitaP @Jammu .
Also, if there is any video/youtube alternative to these magazines, please suggest .
Thanks.
Here’s a secret!You don’t need to read everything in monthly magazines.Pick and choose what you want to read. I would suggest doing them purely from a mains point of view. Maybe you could reflect on what you read and make one page notes with random points you can think of about a topic. That way, since you have engaged with the idea of the topic given in the monthly, you’d be able to remember it better. I don’t see the utility in chumma mugging up current affairs from the prelims point of view. It’s not in line with the prelims pattern post 2016. In any case, since you will do enough mocks, these trivia type things will get covered anyway. Word of advice, don’t do these things cover to cover.Remember, 250 words in mains. Enough understanding for prelims. This is what will sail you through.There is no need for FOMO. An average UPSC aspirant cannot even recollect 1 percent of the cumulative total they’ve read on the exam day. That is simply because of the volume that we read.Therefore, my suggestion would be to strictly limit what you study.Of course you may read if you have interest, and that will have some effect on your answers as well, but it almost entirely depends on how well you have internalised and predetermined what you are going to write about a specific issue. If you have just passively read it, it’s of no use whatsoever for the exam.
Therefore, my suggestions would be:
1. Don’t rote learn from a monthly. Instead, Rote learn from a Mains 365 for GS.
2. Don’t read too much about things that won’t come for Mains. And this is 50 percent of the magazine in most cases.
3. If you have enough content about something, skip left right and centre.
4. Do enough mocks to get over the fomo. Revise the mocks. And that too, just the bare minimum about things such as initiatives, space missions, missiles etc. The more you know about these things usually indicates that you have wasted more time on information that is unnecessary for clearing the exam.
5. UPSC aspirants usually have a lot of information/knowledge with them at the time of Mains. It is based on whatever fraction of it that they display that the marks are allotted. Therefore, it stands to reason that you need to maximise reading the things that you can replicate in the exam. Because anything you read beyond that is useless for the exam because the examiner won’t know about it.
6. Knowledge is never wasted. I still read up on things that interest me. It’s a bad habit when you have limited time and if your sole purpose is to clear the exam.
7. If you limit what you read, you’ll realise that the time you are spending reading rn is enough. Just that you need to strategise better.
8. For prelims, do places in news, organisations, reports, PT365 for environment. Cost benefit ratio is high usually. The game is usually won and lost basis your grip on static subjects, your concepts, and a whole dollop of sheer dumb luck.
Hey fellow aspirants, I need some help.
I find it extremely difficult to follow monthly magazines. Initially I thought that it was probably one particular institute whose magazine I am finding difficult to grasp. But, I have tried quite a few including Forum's, and somehow feel that these magazines are not for me.
There seems to be too much information overload. And somehow , I always ALWAYS end up NOT COMPLETING ANY MAGAZINE. It is not that I dont read newspapers and rely solely on magazines, but I just find myself difficult to concentrate and spend hours on just one issue.
It read one page and by the time I reach the next one, I already forget what I read minutes ago.
IT is so demotivating everytime.
I sometimes decide not to go through any magazine, but thats when the FOMO hits really hard. Everyone is reading Monthlies, Yearlies and so on and here I am, not able to finish even a single document.
Please help.
Just tagging a few people here whose name I can recall at the moment. Others may also give in their opinons @SergioRamos @Arrokoth @Patootie @nerdfighter @DeekshitaP @Jammu .
Also, if there is any video/youtube alternative to these magazines, please suggest .
Thanks.Here’s a secret!You don’t need to read everything in monthly magazines.Pick and choose what you want to read. I would suggest doing them purely from a mains point of view. Maybe you could reflect on what you read and make one page notes with random points you can think of about a topic. That way, since you have engaged with the idea of the topic given in the monthly, you’d be able to remember it better. I don’t see the utility in chumma mugging up current affairs from the prelims point of view. It’s not in line with the prelims pattern post 2016. In any case, since you will do enough mocks, these trivia type things will get covered anyway. Word of advice, don’t do these things cover to cover. Remember, 250 words in mains. Enough understanding for prelims. This is what will sail you through. There is no need for FOMO. An average UPSC aspirant cannot even recollect 1 percent of the cumulative total they’ve read on the exam day. That is simply because of the volume that we read.Therefore, my suggestion would be to strictly limit what you study.Of course you may read if you have interest, and that will have some effect on your answers as well, but it almost entirely depends on how well you have internalised and predetermined what you are going to write about a specific issue. If you have just passively read it, it’s of no use whatsoever for the exam.
Therefore, my suggestions would be:
1. Don’t rote learn from a monthly. Instead, Rote learn from a Mains 365 for GS.
2. Don’t read too much about things that won’t come for Mains. And this is 50 percent of the magazine in most cases.
3. If you have enough content about something, skip left right and centre.
4. Do enough mocks to get over the fomo. Revise the mocks. And that too, just the bare minimum about things such as initiatives, space missions, missiles etc. The more you know about these things usually indicates that you have wasted more time on information that is unnecessary for clearing the exam.
5. UPSC aspirants usually have a lot of information/knowledge with them at the time of Mains. It is based on whatever fraction of it that they display that the marks are allotted. Therefore, it stands to reason that you need to maximise reading the things that you can replicate in the exam. Because anything you read beyond that is useless for the exam because the examiner won’t know about it.
6. Knowledge is never wasted. I still read up on things that interest me. It’s a bad habit when you have limited time and if your sole purpose is to clear the exam.
7. If you limit what you read, you’ll realise that the time you are spending reading rn is enough. Just that you need to strategise better.
8. For prelims, do places in news, organisations, reports, PT365 for environment. Cost benefit ratio is high usually. The game is usually won and lost basis your grip on static subjects, your concepts, and a whole dollop of sheer dumb luck.
For the uninitiated, “chumma” means “simply” (pronounced “simbly”). It’s a way of life for us here in the South. :)
Hey fellow aspirants, I need some help.
I find it extremely difficult to follow monthly magazines. Initially I thought that it was probably one particular institute whose magazine I am finding difficult to grasp. But, I have tried quite a few including Forum's, and somehow feel that these magazines are not for me.
There seems to be too much information overload. And somehow , I always ALWAYS end up NOT COMPLETING ANY MAGAZINE. It is not that I dont read newspapers and rely solely on magazines, but I just find myself difficult to concentrate and spend hours on just one issue.
It read one page and by the time I reach the next one, I already forget what I read minutes ago.
IT is so demotivating everytime.
I sometimes decide not to go through any magazine, but thats when the FOMO hits really hard. Everyone is reading Monthlies, Yearlies and so on and here I am, not able to finish even a single document.
Please help.
Just tagging a few people here whose name I can recall at the moment. Others may also give in their opinons @SergioRamos @Arrokoth @Patootie @nerdfighter @DeekshitaP @Jammu .
Also, if there is any video/youtube alternative to these magazines, please suggest .
Thanks.Here’s a secret!You don’t need to read everything in monthly magazines.Pick and choose what you want to read. I would suggest doing them purely from a mains point of view. Maybe you could reflect on what you read and make one page notes with random points you can think of about a topic. That way, since you have engaged with the idea of the topic given in the monthly, you’d be able to remember it better. I don’t see the utility in chumma mugging up current affairs from the prelims point of view. It’s not in line with the prelims pattern post 2016. In any case, since you will do enough mocks, these trivia type things will get covered anyway. Word of advice, don’t do these things cover to cover.Remember, 250 words in mains. Enough understanding for prelims. This is what will sail you through.There is no need for FOMO. An average UPSC aspirant cannot even recollect 1 percent of the cumulative total they’ve read on the exam day. That is simply because of the volume that we read.Therefore, my suggestion would be to strictly limit what you study.Of course you may read if you have interest, and that will have some effect on your answers as well, but it almost entirely depends on how well you have internalised and predetermined what you are going to write about a specific issue. If you have just passively read it, it’s of no use whatsoever for the exam.
Therefore, my suggestions would be:
1. Don’t rote learn from a monthly. Instead, Rote learn from a Mains 365 for GS.
2. Don’t read too much about things that won’t come for Mains. And this is 50 percent of the magazine in most cases.
3. If you have enough content about something, skip left right and centre.
4. Do enough mocks to get over the fomo. Revise the mocks. And that too, just the bare minimum about things such as initiatives, space missions, missiles etc. The more you know about these things usually indicates that you have wasted more time on information that is unnecessary for clearing the exam.
5. UPSC aspirants usually have a lot of information/knowledge with them at the time of Mains. It is based on whatever fraction of it that they display that the marks are allotted. Therefore, it stands to reason that you need to maximise reading the things that you can replicate in the exam. Because anything you read beyond that is useless for the exam because the examiner won’t know about it.
6. Knowledge is never wasted. I still read up on things that interest me. It’s a bad habit when you have limited time and if your sole purpose is to clear the exam.
7. If you limit what you read, you’ll realise that the time you are spending reading rn is enough. Just that you need to strategise better.
8. For prelims, do places in news, organisations, reports, PT365 for environment. Cost benefit ratio is high usually. The game is usually won and lost basis your grip on static subjects, your concepts, and a whole dollop of sheer dumb luck.
One more querry about this , that portion which you left (as you are doing from mains and some random things may imp for pre do you read them when prelims come or just read PT 365 can you elaborate on this part)
I don’t do either. I go with what I know from mocks. If it’s important, it would’ve been covered in every mock test series by every institute. If it’s not, it’s probably some obscure thing that’s not worth the effort.
He’s not right but he’s not entirely wrong either, if I am to analyse it purely objectively.
1. It’s not a crime to design it like this. However, I do find it absurd that an interview qualified candidate in one year or a candidate who makes it in the list this year might not even be able to give mains next year. There is a great deal of uncertainty at every stage. Years are wasted because of this uncertainty. UPSC isn’t necessarily responsible for this. It’s the idea that people have that this exam is worth dropping multiple years for.
2. If you define time wasting as not contributing to the economy or significantly to society because of Prelims six months later, he’s right. But again, UPSC isn’t forcing anyone to do this. People choose to do it on their own volition.
3. His point is bang on if you calculate ROI in terms of whether you clear or not. Most of the people who give this exam leave it after many years because they failed. That is a reality. Once they fail, people are often left in a worse off position than they would have been in, (financially, emotionally) had they not given the exam. They will have become much more knowledgeable, but there is no bridge that automatically makes them employable in a field of their choice or liking. This is extremely sad, and does lead to a criminal waste of talent.
I’m not saying he is right or wrong. I hold completely different views on the fundamental basis on which ROI is calculated, and about what constitutes time waste. I think preparation contributes immensely to personal growth and this LinkedIn post doesn’t recognise that at all. It provides a very simple capitalist approach.
I don’t think his arguments carry any less value because he’s a corporate worker. It’s a publicly funded commission like he says, and I’m sure he pays a portion of the taxes he’s supposed to pay. :P
Like I said, I don’t agree with what he says, but I can completely understand why someone else might think like he does. UPSC isn’t responsible directly for a lot of this, but it is responsible for at least some of it.
i do not agree with the uncertainty part, there is a fixed standard, yardstick, if you will, which, is associated with each step... those who understand the standards will continue to clear each step consistently.. the idea of uncertainity comes when we end up clearing one step luckily or my minimum efforts without understanding the associated standards, hence the probability to fail in the next attempt or stage increases and therefore we end up blaming the whole process..
There is a scientific method to it, some of us take more time to understand that method( This is where tyranny of merit comes into play) , i see no reason that a final score of 2 similar looking answer will have high standard deviation, of course the element of luck might differentiate a rank 1 from a rank 20, however reaching below a rank 100 is a scientific process.
I’m sure there are a lot of benefits in our preparation if we truly believe this in our hearts. We can modify our strategy accordingly if we believe that the fault lies in our strategy alone.
However, I disagree with the fundamental premise that there is a scientific process that assures success. There are things you can do which maximise your chances. However, it is still uncertain to a very large extent.
The Road Not Taken- By Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
This poem is something extremely close to my heart. When I took the plunge into this exam by leaving my job, I was at a crossroads. Each of the roads had its own opportunities and neither one was any less traveled really. Further, much like each way leads to another way, each one offered a different life, fulfilling in its own ways. At that time, I decided to use this poem as my anthem of uniqueness. I was following my dream, and to dare to follow your dreams is the stuff of great poetry. I rationalised it as my road less traveled, but it wasn’t really any less traveled than the other one. Had I cleared my exam in either of my last two attempts, some day long into the future, I would probably proudly tell my grandkids that I took the road that was less traveled, and that made all the difference. If my experiences as an IAS officer made me regret my choices, I would still rationalise them but say that they were wrong in retrospect. I would say that they made all the difference, in a tone filled with regret.
After my failures, I found myself at a crossroads again. It wasn’t the same crossroads and I wasn’t the same person. Each way had led to another way, until I reached here. I could have given one more full time attempt or taken up a job. I chose my way of taking up a job. I am still preparing for the exam. If I clear it now, one day, I would probably tell my grandkids that I took the road less travelled of preparing alongside a full time job, and that that made all the difference. If I don’t clear it, I’d tell them that about how I don’t regret any of the time I spent preparing. I’d tell them how preparing and not clearing the exam helped me become a much better lawyer, and contribute better in the private sector. I’d probably even tell them that this was what was better for me than the services. And I would then point to this crossroads and say how my choice made all the difference, and how my choice of moving on from the exam was the tougher thing to do (which most others don’t).
Whenever you are stuck at a crossroads, you will make a choice. Someone else would make a different choice. Each choice would have its own takers. Each choice would lead you down an entirely different path, as one way always leads to another. One day, everyone would rationalise their choices and point to them as the ones that made all the difference. “That has made all the difference” can be said with a heavy heart or with glee. Or with a mixed flavour of regret and relief.
@PursuitofHappyness Whichever path you choose, I genuinely hope you, my friend, will get to a point someday, when you will say it with joy. Pursuit of Happyness is my favourite movie of all time. There’s a line in that movie.
You can chase your dream with a job. You can chase your dream without a job. Just protect that dream, man. Don’t let anyone tell you how you can or cannot chase that dream. You know best. It’s your dream after all. You don’t ever have to justify your dream to anyone. You will one day rationalise your own choices, whichever path you choose. And you will say that you protected your dream in the way you best knew how. That’s the stuff of poetry. I wish you the very best, my friend. :)
@Patootie thank you for writing this, and also for correctly referencing the poem (if that’s a thing and we ignore subjective interpretations of art all together).It reminded me of the scene from Orange Is The New Black, where Piper is mad that nobody gets its meaning :P
Lol, if only Frost had said “Shit just happens the way that it happens, and it does not mean anything” in so many words. 😂
I don't want it to happen, but how many of you think that there is a possibility that Prelims is not happening on 10th Oct. 3rd wave is likely to occur in between and then interviews postpone and then cycle to continue.
2019 mains results delay due to EWS case, still have after effects
@Patootie said "I don’t know if it’s all the doomsday scrolling, but I somehow don’t feel like the prospect of Prelims on October 10 is real", "I hope things get much better well before October 10 and that there isn’t a third wave as catastrophic as the last two".
A friend once told me that I’m right exactly 50% of the time. When I’m right, I’m really right and when I’m wrong, I’m really really wrong. :P
By that logic, only one of those things will come true. I hope it’s the second. :)
Hello good people of Forum, sorry if this is not the right thread for it but I really need to get something off my chest.
A little background about me - 2019 graduate here, will turn 25 next March, unemployed, already 2 attempts wasted. 1st attempt - didn't even know the syllabus, was very happy having graduated with excellent marks and feeling optimistic about the future, gave the exam just to get afeelof UPSC. 2nd attempt - again unprepared, was going to skip as focus was more on other exams but the due to postponement I thought I'd give it a shot. Read the basic books, but no revision or CA, again failed spectacularly.
I've given other exams in the hope of getting a job before I devote myself fully to UPSC. Reached interview stages in bank PO (missed out by less than 0.3 marks), eliminated in T3 of CGL, cleared a few prelims and mains of other exams but never made it to the final list. I know I'm on the cusp of clearing a few exams with just a little more hardwork and luck. Been preparing for MPPSC and EPFO very diligently for last few months and I'm fairly confident in both and at the same time laying the groundwork for a serious 2022 attempt.
I'm a fairly optimistic and cheerful person, I have fantastic, god-like parents who support and encourage me every single day even though I've yet to show them anything for my efforts. But the thing is, these last few weeks, I've been experiencing crippling fear and anxiety the likes of which I've never felt in my life. I don't know what brought it on, maybe it was due to the fact that it's been exactly 2 years since I graduated and I haven't earned a penny, or because I've yet to taste any sort of success career-wise.
I can't sleep well, I can't concentrate, I get panic attacks and I have to rush to my room and calm myself down. I feel like I've let my parents down. I don't go out, I've gained a lot of weight, I don't talk to anyone, I try to study but the fear and anxiety makes it difficult. My friends are all employed, and I sense a mocking tune in their texts so I've stopped using social media.
Maybe all of this is normal for an aspirant, but since I've never experienced all things myself I'm scared. What if I don't make it? What if I keep letting myself and everyone around me down? I don't want to be a failure. I've never been an emotional person but these days I feel like I might burst into tears anytime. I don't know what to do. There's exactly 30 days to go for MPPSC and I should be revising diligently but I'm unable to focus.
I'm really sorry if I've upset anyone. I just don't know what else to do. I am very close to my parents but I don't want them to worry so this felt like the place to put my thoughts into words among peers. Again, sorry if this is not the right place for it.
A random aspirant.
Hello, my friend. What I did long back when I was thoroughly depressed was that I hugged my mother and I cried. This was in April 2020, during the first lockdown. The exams were surely to be postponed, if not outright cancelled. I had failed two prelims despite my best efforts and I had long been unemployed as well at the time. Life was on autopilot. It’s a terrible feeling to wake up in the morning for months on end knowing fully well that you’ve lost the power of human agency.
My mom had never seen me like that before. She was so worried that she always kept an eye on me and tried to ensure that I wasn’t alone. She told me to leave it altogether if I was losing myself in the process. Yet, she told me I could make it. And I saw in her eyes how much she wished that I would. Even still, for her, my well being was paramount.
Around the same time, I opened up to my best friend and partner about how I felt. I am the kind who always puts on a mask and is afraid to show vulnerability. I’m quite aware of my own insecurities, but I always tend to suppress them in front of others and rarely do I actually confront my insecurities for that matter. That night, we spoke till 3:30 in the night. And I told her everything. I told her how I felt I was betraying everyone’s trust, and how I felt so powerless to change any of it. I told her how I felt inconsequential, fighting a battle in which it’s next to impossible to measure your own progress. After I told her that, I felt naked. I felt humble.
For a lot of people, the preparation tends to start from a place of love. In time, this love often transforms into a burden of expectations. This burden is something we perceive in our minds, and we begin to hate ourselves for being unable to carry that burden. That is the opposite of love, isn’t it? Love is meant to empower. And when we begin to hate ourselves at any level, it is unnatural.
For me, my road to recovery was finding that love again. In that pursuit, I realised that it is never something you can do overnight. It is something you actively have to search for. It starts with a decision, a moment, a minute, an hour. Brick by brick, you search for that love. The search is what brings you the joy you seek. The deeper you search, the closer you are to the love you seek to give back.
I started taking it hour by hour. I wasn’t focused on clearing the exam as my method of giving back the love these lovely people had for me. I focused on giving it an honest effort to the best of my ability, even when every bone in my body revolted against me. The best of my ability was sometimes just an hour a day, and sometimes it was 14 hours a day. The best of my ability was trying to ensure that I didn’t lose myself in the process, because if I did, the whole point would be lost.
I focused on eating right and working out when I could, but I never beat myself up if I couldn’t do it. I picked up a new instrument, because of my love for music and that gave me time to explore my own self. I changed my entire routine one decision at a time. That was the happiest time of my life. I cleared prelims, but what gave me a hundred times more joy was that I realised that I had my power of human agency again. It was my bubble that gave me joy, because in that bubble, I could be whoever I chose to be.
At the end of it all, I did not clear the mains examination. After prelims, I found that I had lost my bubble. I ran behind the results again, instead of the process. I was a prelims qualified candidate who had a real shot at the mains. Before that, I was just a regular guy trying to get his whole life in order. My plans did go awry, the anxiety and the pain did come back. Even now, they have not left me altogether. Even now, I feel like life is on autopilot sometimes. But I know that with enough effort and time, I can change that. Putting in that effort, that is the part there is no hack to. It has to happen moment by moment, decision by decision.
My friend, I don’t mean to say that I’ve had the same issues you are facing right now. I won’t even say that these issues are common to thousands of others giving this exam. That is because irrespective of how many people feel similar things, your struggles are yours alone. Your methods to come out of it will be yours alone. The only thing common is that it will test your willpower more than anything else. Like I’ve said before, motivation is bullshit. It is fleeting in the larger scheme of things. Things happen through real effort and real time. Even if someone gave you the list of things you need to follow in order to feel better, it won’t be the answer you seek unless you can actually remind your body every other hour that you have the power of human agency. Take ownership of the decisions you take, and by that, I mean the hundred decisions you take every single day. Slowly, but surely, you’ll find what you seek. And maybe you’ll find that what you sought to find again was that love after all. I hope it empowers like nothing else. :)
Someone here mentioned rau's daily news analysis on YouTube.
Can anyone quickly review it? Is it worth spending 40 min of my day everyday?
Speed 1.5 or 1.75 or 2.0 depending on how quickly you can follow it. Have a pen in your hand. Some days, the analysis is excellent. Some days, it’s only good enough. But it’s never a waste of your time.
Pro tip: Try listening to Basava Uppin. 10/10 recommend.
Arun was our school leader when I was in 10th grade. I can confirm that he is a sweetheart.
Arun was our school leader when I was in 10th grade. I can confirm that he is a sweetheart.
In fact, when Chandni Ma’am was giving her last attempt, Arun was doing his masters at National University of Singapore. He flew down to Delhi on the day of her interview to surprise her. Definitely, a super cute couple.
@sbhati you understood my phobia of art and culture perfectly. Thanks for the suggestions !
You could check out this book by Poonam Dalal Dahiya. It covers pretty much everything you need to know.
Life is sometimes just simply too difficult, isn’t it guys?
I’m taking a break from the exam. I’ve lost my shine, man. You know that thing I’m talking about? That heart. You need that to endure. I’ve lost it somewhere along the way and I can’t seem to find it. The pressure of trying to find it just makes me feel l might explode.
So I need a clean slate, even though I know there truly is no such thing. I want to be able to hope again. You know that thing about hope? You would only truly appreciate it if you’ve ever found yourself completely devoid of it. Things stop meaning anything.
So, I’m just going to go get professional help, think long and hard about a lot of things, and figure out what the hell it is that I truly want to do in life, or if I should just simply stop trying to control things and see where life takes me. I don’t believe in saying that I want to find myself again, because whoever I thought I was has always changed with time. But I do believe I want to find something. I don’t want to feel the way I do now. So conflicted, anxious and dissatisfied all the time. I want to feel gratitude again. I want to feel different from the way I feel now.
I don’t know if I will return to this exam, but I think that the time has come when I must finally choose self preservation at the moment. This decision of mine is not intended to influence anyone to take a similar call. I’m simply saying that I just find things too difficult and overwhelming at the moment, and I want to hide behind a shield I’m yet to forge. I hope this will work. At least I’m beginning to hope again?
I have immense respect for all of you who are braving all your demons and choosing to pursue your goal. It takes great courage. Put in your honest effort and see where it takes you. Good luck to all of you. :)
