Thank you@nerdfighter for the initiative. I had been looking for something sort of this thread since some time. The preparation being a long and tiring journey, a beacon, a lighthouse, a target and more importantly self discipline to put in the hours day in and day out, is what is needed. Realized this the hard way after two years of preparation and two failed attempts at Prelims.
Some sense of an unknown confidence, probably misplaced, made me quit my cushy PSU job and there I was brimming with confidence to tame the beast in minimum attempts. 2019 attempt - prepared for 4 months and missed Prelims by a margin of 3 marks. Disappointed yes, but thought that next attempt would be the lucky one. 2020 attempt - all was according to plan till the pandemic hit. Uncertainty while preparing at home, procrastination made things go haywire. Covid infection just a week and half before the Prelims was the final nail in the coffin. Failed Prelims again. Probably the lowest point in the last couple of years. Graduating for a top tier law school and leaving a cushy job, the feeling of worthlessness was killing and self confidence was down in dumps.
As@Patootie speaks, self preservation was the key and I went back to a job. Worked till mid of this year when it again felt that something was bothering me. CSE felt like an unfinished business. Picked up the pieces of self worth and self confidence to start out again on the journey for CSE 2022, with 2021 attempt dropped. Giving a go at the State PCS as a backup
Threads on Forum have been a great source of motivation, guidance and at times, self assessment. I have been a silent spectator since an year, but trying not to repeat the behavior this time round. Be more active and make sure that all efforts are made at taming the 'beast' this time. Starting with daily targets for 13/10/2021
1. Law Optional - Art 19
2. State PCS History Optional- Mahajanapadas and Buddhism
3. State Geography
4. Current Affairs and Notes.
Thank you@nerdfighter for the initiative. I had been looking for something sort of this thread since some time. The preparation being a long and tiring journey, a beacon, a lighthouse, a target and more importantly self discipline to put in the hours day in and day out, is what is needed. Realized this the hard way after two years of preparation and two failed attempts at Prelims.
Some sense of an unknown confidence, probably misplaced, made me quit my cushy PSU job and there I was brimming with confidence to tame the beast in minimum attempts. 2019 attempt - prepared for 4 months and missed Prelims by a margin of 3 marks. Disappointed yes, but thought that next attempt would be the lucky one. 2020 attempt - all was according to plan till the pandemic hit. Uncertainty while preparing at home, procrastination made things go haywire. Covid infection just a week and half before the Prelims was the final nail in the coffin. Failed Prelims again. Probably the lowest point in the last couple of years. Graduating for a top tier law school and leaving a cushy job, the feeling of worthlessness was killing and self confidence was down in dumps.
As@Patootie speaks, self preservation was the key and I went back to a job. Worked till mid of this year when it again felt that something was bothering me. CSE felt like an unfinished business. Picked up the pieces of self worth and self confidence to start out again on the journey for CSE 2022, with 2021 attempt dropped. Giving a go at the State PCS as a backup Threads on Forum have been a great source of motivation, guidance and at times, self assessment. I have been a silent spectator since an year, but trying not to repeat the behavior this time round. Be more active and make sure that all efforts are made at taming the 'beast' this time.
Starting with daily targets for 13/10/2021
1. Law Optional - Art 19
2. State PCS History Optional- Mahajanapadas and Buddhism
3. State Geography
4. Current Affairs and Notes.
Thank you@nerdfighter for the initiative. I had been looking for something sort of this thread since some time. The preparation being a long and tiring journey, a beacon, a lighthouse, a target and more importantly self discipline to put in the hours day in and day out, is what is needed. Realized this the hard way after two years of preparation and two failed attempts at Prelims.
Some sense of an unknown confidence, probably misplaced, made me quit my cushy PSU job and there I was brimming with confidence to tame the beast in minimum attempts. 2019 attempt - prepared for 4 months and missed Prelims by a margin of 3 marks. Disappointed yes, but thought that next attempt would be the lucky one. 2020 attempt - all was according to plan till the pandemic hit. Uncertainty while preparing at home, procrastination made things go haywire. Covid infection just a week and half before the Prelims was the final nail in the coffin. Failed Prelims again. Probably the lowest point in the last couple of years. Graduating for a top tier law school and leaving a cushy job, the feeling of worthlessness was killing and self confidence was down in dumps.
As@Patootie speaks, self preservation was the key and I went back to a job. Worked till mid of this year when it again felt that something was bothering me. CSE felt like an unfinished business. Picked up the pieces of self worth and self confidence to start out again on the journey for CSE 2022, with 2021 attempt dropped. Giving a go at the State PCS as a backup Threads on Forum have been a great source of motivation, guidance and at times, self assessment. I have been a silent spectator since an year, but trying not to repeat the behavior this time round. Be more active and make sure that all efforts are made at taming the 'beast' this time.
Starting with daily targets for 13/10/2021
1. Law Optional - Art 19
2. State PCS History Optional- Mahajanapadas and Buddhism
3. State Geography
4. Current Affairs and Notes.
1, 3 and 4 done. Not a greatly productive day. Spent a chunk overthinking about planning for the exam and what all to do. I do realize that sticking to a plan is most important. Trust the process. I remember the book by James Clear, "Atomic Habits", the substantial gains in repeating the habits every day. Will try to worry less and just concentrate on completing the targets one at a time.
Targets for today
1. Law optional - notes for FOSE (19(1)(a))
2. State PCS History optional - read Mahajanpadas, Buddhism and Jainism
3. Current Affairs and Notes
4. State Geography
Let's get this done!
Thank you@nerdfighter for the initiative. I had been looking for something sort of this thread since some time. The preparation being a long and tiring journey, a beacon, a lighthouse, a target and more importantly self discipline to put in the hours day in and day out, is what is needed. Realized this the hard way after two years of preparation and two failed attempts at Prelims.
Some sense of an unknown confidence, probably misplaced, made me quit my cushy PSU job and there I was brimming with confidence to tame the beast in minimum attempts. 2019 attempt - prepared for 4 months and missed Prelims by a margin of 3 marks. Disappointed yes, but thought that next attempt would be the lucky one. 2020 attempt - all was according to plan till the pandemic hit. Uncertainty while preparing at home, procrastination made things go haywire. Covid infection just a week and half before the Prelims was the final nail in the coffin. Failed Prelims again. Probably the lowest point in the last couple of years. Graduating for a top tier law school and leaving a cushy job, the feeling of worthlessness was killing and self confidence was down in dumps.
As@Patootie speaks, self preservation was the key and I went back to a job. Worked till mid of this year when it again felt that something was bothering me. CSE felt like an unfinished business. Picked up the pieces of self worth and self confidence to start out again on the journey for CSE 2022, with 2021 attempt dropped. Giving a go at the State PCS as a backup Threads on Forum have been a great source of motivation, guidance and at times, self assessment. I have been a silent spectator since an year, but trying not to repeat the behavior this time round. Be more active and make sure that all efforts are made at taming the 'beast' this time.
Starting with daily targets for 13/10/2021
1. Law Optional - Art 19
2. State PCS History Optional- Mahajanapadas and Buddhism
3. State Geography
4. Current Affairs and Notes.
1, 3 and 4 done. Not a greatly productive day. Spent a chunk overthinking about planning for the exam and what all to do. I do realize that sticking to a plan is most important. Trust the process. I remember the book by James Clear, "Atomic Habits", the substantial gains in repeating the habits every day. Will try to worry less and just concentrate on completing the targets one at a time.
Targets for today
1. Law optional - notes for FOSE (19(1)(a))
2. State PCS History optional - read Mahajanpadas, Buddhism and Jainism
3. Current Affairs and Notes
4. State Geography
Let's get this done!
Good day it was. Ticking off each entry from the list gives another level of dopamine rush. Good day after a long time.
Completed all the targets. Looking forward for an equally productive day tomorrow!
Getting back after some days of being flustered and anxious about the syllabus, path ahead and balancing between UPSC CSE and other exams. Deciding to focus primarily on UPSC CSE. I remember the scene from Bhaag Milkha Bhaag, where the Pakistani coach says that this may be the last race of your life and Milkha reverts "Daudunga bhi waise hi".
Starting slow to get into the groove. Long term target - go slow, but go at it everyday. Target for the day
1. Optional - Consti (President and COM)
2. Newspaper and CA
3. Ancient History - Buddhism notes
4. Polity - cursory look of NCERT 9 (atleast half)
While going through the day after having set the targets, realized something simple, yet profound. Unproductiveness is like a slippery slope. Once you waste a couple of hours in the morning/early afternoon, it takes a whole lot of effort to get back to schedule. High chances that the whole of the day gets wasted up. Happens for me atleast. Today, along with setting targets, actively trying to be resolute and stick to the plan.
Targets for the day
1. Optional - complete Prez + COM (with notes)
2. History - Mauryan age
3. Current Affairs
4. Polity - 9th NCERT complete
Let's see how it goes.
I have always been a fan of war stories, stories of utmost grit and perseverance, of friendships, of love, life and death. Having it all and staking it on one turn of pitch and toss. Maybe it began when I read War and peace years ago and got fascinated with Bezukhov or maybe it was watching 300 as a child. The one thing common to all wars(stories) is that you enter with passion and a sense of purpose to acclaim victory and fame at all cost, but in the midst of it all, you realise that passion is over-rated and will not sail you through and that tales of immortality interest you the least and fame was never worth it anyway. We learn that to just survive we will have to push with every ounce of energy we have and keep at it again and again even though sleep and rest beckons with all its lustrous might and then hope that Lady Luck favour us brave and plummets us to the end of the tunnel. (The tale of Mara Vijaya brings a smile). The reason I am typing all of this is because being in the state( not mental, just geographical) of Buddha away from preparation hubs and isolated in a room, this war has got to me. With my friends and batchmates partying and moving on in life, I ask myself to soldier on towards my path, my own battle. Please know that seeing you all post targets is the Sam to my Frodo. (Reference- LOTR). It makes me feel that I am not the only one walking in these dark alleys of Mount Doom. May we be victorious soon.
"Lambi hai gham ki shaam faiz, magar shaam hi to hai."
P.S- This is more of a note to self than to others, I don't know why I am posting it, maybe the war has really got to me. Keep hustling guys.
I have been finding myself in the exact situation, several times in the last few days. A state, maybe better described by words like agony, self pity, self doubt. The story of glory, the enthusiasm with which I started the journey seems to be fading away in the face of arduousness and the pain of uncertainty.
But I realize that there is no other option than fighting it out. I remember a small set of words from my school basketball court - "No defeat is final until you have given up". I got into this voluntarily, so it's my duty to face it whatever the result might be.
Sometimes it sounds incoherent, sometimes just unnecessarily grand yet foolish. Given the war reference you have provided, words of Capt. Manoj Pandey (PVC) comes to my mind - "Some goals are so worthy, it's glorious even to fail". I don't know if it resonates, but I can understand where you are coming from.
@Neyawn sir kindly confirm whether forums current affair programme will be dealt by dipin sir..or he is no more related to this
Same doubt!
