Most days are energyless for me. No motivation to do more than what I am doing right now, a simple govt. job.
I lost one of my parent last year and things haven't been on track from then on. Missed 2021 preliminary by 0.66 (ahh!). I feel I am unable to give time to my people but I guess it's because I have nothing interesting to tell them or talk about.
I joined a group C govt. job because of father's worries about my future aur yahan bhi man nahi lag raha. I have always believed that the thing which you do for most part of the day is where you succeed.
8 hours job + 8 hours sleep + 1hour (before + after job) + 2 hours daily chores + phone calls eat most part of my day. I am left with 2-3 hours. I have a 6 day central govt. job.
I don't know if it is lack of motivation or I seriously don't have time for UPSC anymore.
But everytime I say I don't have time for UPSC it feels like a mini breakup. I don't know if I am lost or it's a phase or I'm down with some kind of depression (sorry if I used that word casually). One thing for sure is I am unable to take UPSC as an exam now. I feel bad and sad.
Any worldly or unworldly gyaan is invited.
