Dosto, I am out. 5th attempt, 3rd Mains!
I did my best and I was so proud of the answers I wrote and the Interlinking I did in this Mains examination. My UPSC Journey will end here for I believe I did my best in this attempt and I couldn't have done any better.
No 6th attempt for me! Probably, I will turn into a teacher or maybe I will continue my legal journey as a lawyer ! I will have to take that call soon
This is something I wrote on my telegram channel. I hope that it gives strength to at least some of you or anyone who has faced failure :
"I have got so many of my friends who were crying for me even when I am not at all crying.
They are the reason I am smiling. They are the reason, I stand tall.This is what Life is. For me, you all, who have showered me with love, you guys are my success. I have earned all of you. And that's what matters to me ❤️My purpose of getting in the exam was to help people and make a meaningful difference in people's lives.One of my cousins passed away in 2018. It was at that moment, I contemplated the meaning of life. The only conclusion I could get was : Life in general is tough and there is a lot of pain around us. The only purpose or meaning, life could have was to be there for each other,hold each other's hands. And it is for this, I felt, the IAS was the best pathThe memoirs of officers showed me how satisfying a job could be when we could alleviate the pain of the most vulnerable amongst us, making the best use of the privileges the lord or life had offered us !It was never about ego or being a part of the entry reels. If I have even an iota of ability to make life better for others, whatever may be the means, I am successful.So, I don't feel failed. I feel successful because of the people around me. No pdf can take that away.If anyone who has ever failed can learn something from me, let it be this. To all young ones out there, Take this as a lesson/reminder of how a man called Deepank was standing tall in the very moment of extreme failure ! "Not a bechara or no need to feel sad for Gaitonde or anyone else who failed or even yourself. I am absolutely FINE and doing good ! There are enough avenues for one to grow in a growing India. UPSC is not LIFE. We are ! and We shall overcome !Wishing you all nothing but SUCCESS ❤️ Signing off for now !
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Most people, both candidates and coaching gurus, dont have good understanding of the issues and ideas covered by UPSC syllabus. They themselves are "random" in gathering facts and information mindlessly. How many people can clearly write the implications of literal interpretation of rules by bureaucrats without being aware of this conceptual matter before exam?? Still people will blabber something nonsense and expect UPSC to give them marks because they have worked HARD? Who the hell cares about your hardwork?? UPSC CSE main exam is an intellectually challenging exercise. Half backed knowledge, superficial understanding, cramming random information won't be of any help.
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I have always pushed people to have a backup. Smart people always hedge risks. Exceptions cannot become your ideal. Thankfully, I had done law as a cushion. Most of my friends readied their backups. Even Ishita had applied for CAT, GMAT etc. When Ishita secured Rank 1, I had requested her to speak about the need of backup and SHE DID. I remember Apala ditching the TISS interview only at the end moment. Otherwise, she would have gone ahead with TISS.
I would like to highlight the mentality that people have with respect to this exam and then understand why aspirants don’t take backups.
Recently I had a call with a boy from a village in Bihar. His economic situation was not that great. He scored 75% and was doing Pol Sci Hons from IGNOU. Now, his father is a govt teacher. In such a state, I pushed him to pursue skill based courses like Data science etc, pull his family up from poor economic state and then maybe give an attempt. He agreed to this because no matter what says: Majority of selected candidates belong to an elite class. The Percentage of people with poor English & academic backgrounds clearing this exam is very very very low.
I was happy that he understood this and that I had saved one gullible person from the trap of UPSC. I was happy that he would now uplift his family from distress instead of paying me or anyone else. But my happiness was short lived. Within 2 hours I received the following text from the student:
Hello sir
Thank you so much for your valuable insights about this exam . Thank you for exposing those eye opening stuffs. I appreciate it. I have no reason to disagree with you. In fact it was not just limited to me but my family too. Choosing the arena of upsc is solely my decision. I knew it's never gonna be easy ride for me. Still I choosed it. Tbh, I am neither influenced by anyone nor the hype around this exam. Rn, I just remembered a thing which you recently said on the ips incidence. Thus I feel if tomorrow I become an ias, our country will get an honest and non arrogant officer in contrast to status quo. After talking to you, I'm more serious towards this examination . I know me, my weakness, the demands of exam [ofcourse too little]. I'm ready to grind. I'm ready to improve myself everyday. I just don't want to pass this exam. I want to become into someone who'll be capable enough to claim it. I'll work the hardest, no matter what I won't give up now.
Now, the assumption this person is making is that I questioned his ability to work hard and NOT GIVE UP. All a senior in preparation can do is Smile at the naïveté. He failed to understand that I had not questioned his but the ability of the exam to appreciate one’s intellect and Hardwork. That he should rather focus on an area that would reward him for his Hardwork. That MANY selected candidates openly accept the randomness of the exam. Some have even called it the great Russian Roulette. That
The reality is people don’t want to see the reality. However, all of the wonderful souls reading this comment must understand that by reading this comment you have also ended your excuse that you may have given yourself 5 years down the line that: “ Oh NOBODY TOLD US THIS”. Somebody has ! Somebody would have already told you this.
Please understand why people don’t speak about the randomness:
1. Vested interest: I would rather call it practical because no student wants to be mentored by a teacher who tells them that this exam is a lottery.
2. Toppers don’t want to delegitimise an exam that has given them fame. If the exam is delegitimised, the topper gets delegitimised and I am sure, a huge section of students who don’t want to hear the reality will undoubtedly spew hate for SPREADING NEGATIVITY.
3. Failures don’t criticise the exam because of their own insecurities. They feel they’ll be bombarded with “Angoor khatte hai” comments. Thankfully some are shameless like me !
The reality is MOST aspirants are aware about the randomness. They hear and have live examples around them as well. Yet IT IS THE ADDICTION & HOPE of EK AUR ATTEMPT that trumps the rationale of 99% Guaranteed failure. Each aspirant gambles their youth when they take more than 2/3 attempts without backup. Sadly, We all know what happens when Yuddhisthira’s gamble !
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I have always pushed people to have a backup. Smart people always hedge risks. Exceptions cannot become your ideal. Thankfully, I had done law as a cushion. Most of my friends readied their backups. Even Ishita had applied for CAT, GMAT etc. When Ishita secured Rank 1, I had requested her to speak about the need of backup and SHE DID. I remember Apala ditching the TISS interview only at the end moment. Otherwise, she would have gone ahead with TISS.
I would like to highlight the mentality that people have with respect to this exam and then understand why aspirants don’t take backups.
Recently I had a call with a boy from a village in Bihar. His economic situation was not that great. He scored 75% and was doing Pol Sci Hons from IGNOU. Now, his father is a govt teacher. In such a state, I pushed him to pursue skill based courses like Data science etc, pull his family up from poor economic state and then maybe give an attempt. He agreed to this because no matter what says: Majority of selected candidates belong to an elite class. The Percentage of people with poor English & academic backgrounds clearing this exam is very very very low.
I was happy that he understood this and that I had saved one gullible person from the trap of UPSC. I was happy that he would now uplift his family from distress instead of paying me or anyone else. But my happiness was short lived. Within 2 hours I received the following text from the student:
Hello sir
Thank you so much for your valuable insights about this exam . Thank you for exposing those eye opening stuffs. I appreciate it. I have no reason to disagree with you. In fact it was not just limited to me but my family too. Choosing the arena of upsc is solely my decision. I knew it's never gonna be easy ride for me. Still I choosed it. Tbh, I am neither influenced by anyone nor the hype around this exam. Rn, I just remembered a thing which you recently said on the ips incidence. Thus I feel if tomorrow I become an ias, our country will get an honest and non arrogant officer in contrast to status quo. After talking to you, I'm more serious towards this examination . I know me, my weakness, the demands of exam [ofcourse too little]. I'm ready to grind. I'm ready to improve myself everyday. I just don't want to pass this exam. I want to become into someone who'll be capable enough to claim it. I'll work the hardest, no matter what I won't give up now.
Now, the assumption this person is making is that I questioned his ability to work hard and NOT GIVE UP. All a senior in preparation can do is Smile at the naïveté. He failed to understand that I had not questioned his but the ability of the exam to appreciate one’s intellect and Hardwork. That he should rather focus on an area that would reward him for his Hardwork. That MANY selected candidates openly accept the randomness of the exam. Some have even called it the great Russian Roulette. That
The reality is people don’t want to see the reality. However, all of the wonderful souls reading this comment must understand that by reading this comment you have also ended your excuse that you may have given yourself 5 years down the line that: “ Oh NOBODY TOLD US THIS”. Somebody has ! Somebody would have already told you this.
Please understand why people don’t speak about the randomness:
1. Vested interest: I would rather call it practical because no student wants to be mentored by a teacher who tells them that this exam is a lottery.
2. Toppers don’t want to delegitimise an exam that has given them fame. If the exam is delegitimised, the topper gets delegitimised and I am sure, a huge section of students who don’t want to hear the reality will undoubtedly spew hate for SPREADING NEGATIVITY.
3. Failures don’t criticise the exam because of their own insecurities. They feel they’ll be bombarded with “Angoor khatte hai” comments. Thankfully some are shameless like me !
The reality is MOST aspirants are aware about the randomness. They hear and have live examples around them as well. Yet IT IS THE ADDICTION & HOPE of EK AUR ATTEMPT that trumps the rationale of 99% Guaranteed failure. Each aspirant gambles their youth when they take more than 2/3 attempts without backup. Sadly, We all know what happens when Yuddhisthira gambles !
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Highly Disagree Rahul. Anyone who wants to see Luck. Go and see copies of
1. Ms Ruhani (Rank 5,2023) : Do look at the analytics too on Next IAS. Look at her answers. " Pratyaksh ko Pramaan kya ? "
2. Kuhu Garg (Who is the daughter of DGP, Uttarakhand) : I was not inclined to believe a lot of things people in Uttarakhand tell about her selection. But I luckily met people who played badminton with her. They told me how much "merit" she had.
3. Ayaan Jain: Who somehow scores 460+ merely bombarding 20 points in a 10 marker. The UPSC notification clearly says that candidates will be rewarded for depth of the answers. Yet the below average content was rewarded for continuously 2 years
Bombarding more points (Why bother about depth of content or quality of your content) + Focus on presentation will bring you closer to getting lucky.
Toppers such as you, for whom I have immense respect, need to meet and look at the copies of the above wonderful toppers. Getting selected via a lottery is a reality in the UPSCfor many. (not all). There are numerous examples of the same. Obviously, such Anecdotes are shared by people only in private who watched them prepare very intimately.
However, those who want to be in the process must know 99.9% failure is guaranteed in UPSC. I will keep on reiterating this time and again! This isn't an assumption but a fact.
For those who are reading, you have two perspectives : Each has their own bias obviously coming from their own experiences. Yet, by the rule of 99% failure, majority should IDEALLY side with me. But the game and addiction of this exam will make 99% side with Rahul. The addiction of ONE MORE ATTEMPT
Newbies, work as hard as you can without thinking about all of these debates. Stay way from all of this and go back to your books. Study hard!. But my concern lies with people who have already given 3-4 attempts.
Anyone with >3/4 attempts, look for a serious backup. I am not asking you not to prepare even then but just prepare with a clear backup so that you have a fall back option just like Rahul did.
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