@Neyawn completely directionless after prelims 2021(1st attempt). I did study for an entire year(probably which is why I could get the polity and economics questions correct). Had neglected history, considering being good at polity and economics would at least get me through prelims. But that was not the case as even though there were questions from environment, science&tech, the pattern of questions asked was changed(according to me)— no ramsar, no national parks, no recent technologies like 5G, Quantum, which might have fetched 20-30 marks. Hence prelims 2021 has been a failed attempt for me and i do not even know if I do seriously prepare for 2022, will I be able to get through it ? Because now even the topper talks aren’t helping because they advice you study the things that UPSC has decided to drastically change this time around. Sir, request you to kindly shed some advice on this. Also, had enrolled for dipan sir’s current affairs classes for 2021, now I do not even know how should I go about doing and completing that.
Resigning from a stable, well paying job is also troubling me now post prelims. Should I go back to the private sector? Or should I atleast give one more full fledged attempt in 2022(since it is just roughly 7months away)?
“Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things” — Stephen king (basically I remember this quote due to dipin sir’s CA classes :P
So even after getting somewhere around 80-85 from various keys, I just hoped that “the cutoff might fall this low, or maybe the coaching keys have many incorrect answers and most honestly put, I hoped to clear prelims.”
But the hopes were completely shattered :P and with that came all the self pity, labelling myself as a “FAILURE” and considering everyone/everything to be the reason for my failure.
Haven’t been able to properly study since the 10th October. For these 20days, went through various success stories, topper talks(though I had thought of not watching any), analysed each and every mistake in the prelims paper, asked anonymous people in this community for help(wish I had kept an anonymous name as well xD, but was too heartbroken to even think of changing my name then xD), spent A LOT OF TIME in solitude thinking, and most importantly, CRIED to let everything out.
Now post all this, realised that UPSC and life in general is about “survival of the fittest”, we need to MOVE ON because the ultimate goal in life is LIFE ITSELF. I don’t even know why I am writing all this(probably because when I was feeling extremely low, had read somebody’s text here and obviously@Neyawn posts that helped me A LOT). So, maybe this might help someone feeling the same.
Hence, to buckle up and bounce back, cleaned my entire room, cooked typical Bihari comfort food (dal, chawal, chokha), listed down all my distractions(even this page xD, wanted to post for the last time), wrote myself a letter with all the ambitious targets that I’d like to achieve and promised myself to give my best in the last attempt I wish to give(post 2022, which shall be my 2nd attempt technically, won’t be giving further full fledged attempts, would go back to the corporate sector) and most importantly told myself that I CAN AND I WILL be able to it. Because it is all about “ordinary people doing extraordinary things”.
Pre and post clearing this exam, I feel, the person remains exactly the same. It is just that society sees you in a different way. And I feel for the majority of us, UPSC is just the “psychological and self actualisation needs” in Maslow’s need hierarchy theory. All of us are already capable enough to fulfil our basic needs(and Jeevan ismei bhi ache se guzar sakti hai)
According to Herbert baker(socio optional peeps, hi5 :P) labelling theory, “you start behaving the way you/society labels you”. So do not let anybody/yourself put those demeaning and cruel labels. Let us just GIVE OUR BEST!
Ending with 2 of my favourite quotes and a picture of what my day looked like today(idk where the picture got inserted, but you got the feeling, right>
“Human potential is the only limitless resource we have in this world” — Carly fiorina
“Consistency of effort over the long run, is, EVERYTHING” — Angela Duckworth (book, “GRIT” — an AMAZING book, incase you’d get time to read )
HAPPY DIWALI! (Make a promise to yourself to not spend the next Diwali doing academic studies? 😛)
Was suffering from health issues since the past few weeks. Wanted to know whether can we still join SFG? I missed out on the entrance test.
I have decided to get back to work and give my 2nd attempt in 2023. Had purchased MGP Cohort 5 2022. Anybody willing to purchase that from me? If yes, kindly get in touch.