November 29, 2024   Academy | Blog  | Community  | Our Philosophy
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Civil Services Mains 2020 Results: In or Out ? Way ahead, gratitude and Pain

The source code news must be fake. Anyone with basic HTML knowledge can edit the source code in chrome and can depict anything he/she wants on the website (Only on his machine, not host)
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@Jokar If it wasn't fake, then we may get more time for EPFO exam. I have started from last week only.


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EPFO Deferred till further notice.....
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@skandagupta They will give atleast 15 day notice prior to exam. Probably in june, they may conduct.


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@Joeyisthebest Then, lets focus on that date and prepare well. Around 10 lakhs have filled form. Lets crack this exam. I have exhuasted 6 attempts already. EPFO is my last hope for sarkaari naukri....Guys, assume it to be blessing in disguise and study very hard.


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Guys, I want to share my story of failures. I will keep it short. I started preparation in 2014 and gave first attempt in 2015. I have given six attempts, cleared prelims every time, but couldn't clear mains once. In between I prepared for other exams such as RBI, NABARD, RAS, etc. But failed in them as well.

Being 29-year-old unemployed guy dependent on parent’s income, I always ask myself "what have I done to my life". I am being dejected, cursed and ridiculed by everyone in my family and friend circle. Only my parents have faith on me. But I have failed them as well.

I don't know whether you guys especially those with max attempts feel helplessness or not on yourself. Mujhe khud pe taras aata. I am exhausted by this exam. My shoulders feel heavy and weak. Every morning and night, I feel I cannot walk anymore. Sometimes, suicidal thoughts engulf me. I had even tried to commit suicide. But, the very thought of my parents stops me. I had understood that this exam is not only about knowledge, rather about your emotional intelligence as well. I genuinely feel, this is not an exam, rather a loop where majority of aspirants waste their productive year.

People say that you have prepared for upsc, you will excel in life even if you fail to clear. I rather doubt this same thought process. Nobody gives a damn, whether you prepared for UPSC or not. You are a failure, that’s it. You have to start the process for other exams from scratch. Even, if you go to private sector, they ask about age gap. You feel embarrassed when you report to your younger ones.

Some of you may not concede to above fact. But I know UPSC skills are relevant predominantly for coaching industry only.

I would sincerely urge the younger fellows that please don’t waste your productive age by exhausting all attempts. Discard the urge that “Abki baar to nikal jaayega”. If you have sincerely worked hard and still unable to clear. Mend your ways my dear friend. Probably, luck doesn’t favor you.

Currently, I am clueless and don’t know how to proceed. The constant failures have shattered my self-esteem and confidence. Pata nahi ab life kaha le jaayegi. I am with flow now…………………………

 

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@Witcher first line was too harsh. I never had the lust for the post. Also, keeping high aspirations is not a crime and nor one should blame it. Rather, i blame timings, choices and yes, ofcourse luck (Whether you deny its role or not). Post third attempt, i tried to multitask and prepared for multiple exams and flunked by less than 1 mark everytime. Then comes the wrong optional. I was so ingrained in the optional that i was romanticizing it, rather than focussing on essential aspect only. This cost me lost. Everytime, i lost UPSC battle due to the optional. Indeed, wrong optional reduces your chance of selection. And finally, i had no audacity of changing optional as i was in the dire need of job. I overcomplicated the process.

I suggest everyone to keep the process simple. Don't overcomplicate things. Don't master knowledge. Study for examination purpose and get out ot this loop.

Lastly, my luck was not favourable to me. I was always near the cutoff by less than one marks in most exams. Saala, agar 20-30 number ka difference hota toh, khud ko hi kosh lete. Aur mehnat karte. From then, my faith on god also dwindled.
Also, i tried to start textile manufacturing startup under powertex India. I had taken land on lease. But this corrupt system doesn't allow you to enter market. There is too much corruption at every level. There is zero ease of doing business on ground level. Then, this pandemic dashed my all hopes. Still, i m trying hard and have no option except keep working. Probably thats how life works.

But, i must say the constant UPSC failures had indeed made my mentally strong now. Whenever things go wrong, i don't get scared. I remain calm. Failures have indeed taught me the virtue of humility. Sometimes, i get panic attack and same attack forced me to write my failure on the forum.


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