Living my best life
Feeling of fulfilness!!
The feeling of being enough.
The feeling of being not just good enough but excellent.
I felt it all.
Last month I went to mumbai, to visit my sister & u know the best part, I bought everything with my own money.
The flight tickets, taxi and every other thing.
As the plane took off from IXC airport, I cried my eyes out because not in my wildest dreams had I thought that this day would come.
Yes, someone forced me to get a passport made because we were supposedly were gonna to HONEYMOON outside india.
But damn girl!!!
This is 100000000000000000times better.
No one is yapping, mene yeh kiya, mene wo kiya.
I enjoyed my freedom with its utmost glory & just thanked my stars. The beauty of being a working person is not just the monetary freedom but also the feeling of pride that it was not handed over to me..
Mere PAPPA ki jaidaad k upar saanp ki tarah kundali maar k nahi baithi hu.. Jo kamaya h khud kamaya h.
Aur shyd us moment m mujhe utni happiness mili jitni aur kisi m nahi mili.
Bahut baar socha likhun, dil bhi kiya. But when u have an ex following you.. Ghanta likhne ka maan ni krta, but then I was like fuck it yr, mene thode theke liye h sbke.
And by the way... Your girl is officially pill free..
I haven't taken any antidepressants in last 2months.
My dream of being me is going as per God's plan.
And I'm happy the way it's shaping.
A lot happened over last 3 months. I shifted to my flat, flew to mumbai, changed a job, got off medication, broke my foot again, lost weight, got a personal room, gained weight, won housey, tried authentic biryani, went to tiss, kicked out amity....
I mean a lot.
And i would just suggest that the change us good.
I know the fantasy of being an ias is pretty but living your life is prettier.
I'm thankful to God everyday because he saved me from a lot of things, lot of psycho people, gave me new opportunities and most if all brought me out of the chakravyuh.
Tata,MoorkhDuryodhan
Kaise ho ?
.
Debit card bhi lounge access dete hai?
Mai to kabhi kabhi is baat ki BT lene lagta hu k kamata nahi hu, na credit card milta na lounge access XD
Kaise ho ?
changed place.....feeling much better now also with decent productivity....Thanks for the concern bro :)
God bless u , 💗 sab kuch accha hoga , don't worry ,bas do ur karm, wahi apan Kai hath Mai hai,no negativity.
So happy for you. Having secured a job only recently myself i can kinda relate with your experience sommuch more. The feeling that comes when you aren't answerable to anyone for making your decisions is so liberating and satisfying. Living under the shadow of a gurdian is crushing no matter how supportive they are. I would venture to say that it is not only stifling for your personal growth but also detrimental to mental peace. The subconscious guilt associated with living the life of an economic parasite is enough to give neurosis to anyone.
But ,theres a flipside to it as well particularly when you are an aspirant. A regular job might end up acting as an irresistible blanket of comfort you don't want to get out of to do the hard labour of walking the lonely frigid road towards your goal. It might completely change your worldview. You might start questioning if upsc is even worth the sacrifice and effort you have made. You start to reasses your priorities..you start finding comfort in simple things in life. And that's the natural corollary when you starve yourself of even the normal mundane experiences of life for a prolonged period during prep phase. So after becoming financially secure you might find yourself lacking in determination of a warrior fighting for his life. You might even call this a gratification trap wherein for short term pleasures you end up compromising on your long held dream.
And that's the predicament most people who have been successful in reaching various stages of the exam find themselves in when they secure a backup...Barring the few who end up finding a new passion and making a quite successful career and money out of it.
I know i sound full of contradictions but these are the thoughts my mind keep dwelling upon and swinging between every now and then
Tata,🤣 God I wish I had this much of clarity in life@D503 naaaaa... U don't..To be true..I hate my job...🤣🤣🤣Sochti hu kya bakchod h yeh sb!!Bhaashan dene ka maan krta h...Then I realize ki salary leni h beta ji!!Fir chup hokr baith jati...Ab lgta h ki pehle shadi kr lete h.. Kalesh kaam ho jaega...2 attempt h..Pati banega.. Kamaega..Aur m krungi chill krke preparation..But dekhi kb milta h esa kamau, kamkaji, sehansheel aur budhimaan var..Wese I'm thinking of holding a swayamvaar 🤣🤣
So happy for you. Having secured a job only recently myself i can kinda relate with your experience sommuch more. The feeling that comes when you aren't answerable to anyone for making your decisions is so liberating and satisfying. Living under the shadow of a gurdian is crushing no matter how supportive they are. I would venture to say that it is not only stifling for your personal growth but also detrimental to mental peace. The subconscious guilt associated with living the life of an economic parasite is enough to give neurosis to anyone.
But ,theres a flipside to it as well particularly when you are an aspirant. A regular job might end up acting as an irresistible blanket of comfort you don't want to get out of to do the hard labour of walking the lonely frigid road towards your goal. It might completely change your worldview. You might start questioning if upsc is even worth the sacrifice and effort you have made. You start to reasses your priorities..you start finding comfort in simple things in life. And that's the natural corollary when you starve yourself of even the normal mundane experiences of life for a prolonged period during prep phase. So after becoming financially secure you might find yourself lacking in determination of a warrior fighting for his life. You might even call this a gratification trap wherein for short term pleasures you end up compromising on your long held dream.
And that's the predicament most people who have been successful in reaching various stages of the exam find themselves in when they secure a backup...Barring the few who end up finding a new passion and making a quite successful career and money out of it.
I know i sound full of contradictions but these are the thoughts my mind keep dwelling upon and swinging between every now and then
Being someone who started this journey with full time job, I totally agree with you. With job, it is hard to work on your shortcomings which require meticulous planning and execution. Preparation mostly happen only near the exam. I find myself working under shadows of my comfort zone for whole year. Even when during decisive phases like few days before prelims or mains or even that 5 days gap between GS and optional, it is hard to give your best because you don't have practice.
However, things w.r.t job that help are a) not being answerable to others (as you pointed out) b) we fulfill our social responsibility. Our failure not have disastrous impact on others. If we succeed, it is awesome. If we don't, people dependent on us will not have to suffer because we did clear UPSC due to not studying on our part (biggest reason) or infinite other reasons.
I am also living my best life. To do live better you have to be very peaceful and calm. You should know peacefulness and calmness comes from meditation. I do daily 1 Hour meditations. If you don’t mind you can visit ourSarkari Resultpage of PM Kisan Gov in.
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