Still numb and can't focus on anything. This was my first mains in my second attempt. I was getting good marks and good ranks in the mocks that I gave for GS and Essays. Optional was also good, though didn't give much mocks for it. This feeling of failure is affecting almost all aspect of my life- my relationships with my family members, my own mental equilibrium is getting worse. Getting angry on petty issues. Worried about what went wrong with me more than what went wrong in mains. A quick background- a topper throughout my life, from school days, to coaching, to college. Cleared almost all exams, I sat for in a go. From a few years, I lost that confidence. Whenever I look back, I doubt if I am the same who was a few years ago. I used to be the most cheerful guy among my friends. Now, everything looks gloomy. Don't even know whom to talk to, left every social media for this exam. A deep sense of loneliness is spiraling me into intense mood swings.
Was trying to explore meditation to see if it can be helpful. But looks like every renowned sources are paid, except Vipassana which takes time instead of money. I would be very grateful for any help with techniques to cope up with this sense of dejection and loneliness. Sorry to intrude into a otherwise healthy thread discussing what went wrong with words resonating negativity and hopelessness.
