Out - Philosophy optional
Hi all.
This is going to be a long post but i hope i can both express myself and others might get some insight.
This has been a long journey for me. Gratuated from IIT Kanpur in 2014 and gave back to back interviews in 2015 and 2016. At that time I didn't do much answer writing and all and still went till interview but couldn't make it to final list due to poor interview scores both times.
Then the heartbreak... couldn't clear 2017 prelims. I remember i was devastated as many of my batchmates cleared by then. The only silver lining was that at the same time I cleared another UPSC Group A exam and joined the central civil services in 2016.
Although i still had the ammunition to continue this journey but the job pressure and few personal aspects could not lead to proper preparation. I remember not being able to get even 1 month leave for the mains exam. All of that made it tougher year by year and i skipped 3 attempts till 2020.
Last year i again started preparation as I got posted in an office where I was relatively free. Since I was out of touch for long, focussed more on finishing the syllabus in 2021 and didn't do much answer writing...failed mains by 60 odd marks.
This year I did a lot of answer writing, scored decently in the test series. I was able to finish all papers and did whatever I thought can be done except that this time too my mains preparation restricted to those last 3 months.
Coming to today, sitting in my office i am thankful that I have job security and that too a decent one. But my ammunition is still intact.
The hard truth is that I need to prepare for the whole year for mains will be working on that.
The message for others is that one should not give more than 3 years (rather 3 mains) exclusively for this exam. It will take huge toll on your mental, physical and emotional health. After 3 mains start working for backup plan too.
Things are not all rosy and good now as they were when I started preparation. There is cut throat preparation and dearth of good and respectable government jobs (take IRMS case).
Give whatever exams you can, it will keep you in the shape. This will give ammo to your soul and to your mind.
Coming to myself, i would continue this journey with more determination and covering things from scratch now. I would have to unlearn to learn again.
God bless you all. Rise and Shine.
Goosey
