@abc123 what are your hopes this time and based on what factors ? how was ur exam this time?
Since 2019 I have lost many precious things, including my loving mother. I have tried hard to learn to live without expectations, more so in upsc matters because of bitter experience. I am unable to assess my CSE performance as many factors are at play, beyond our control.I just hope against hope for ending my upsc journey on a positive note.
My story is similar. Lost my mother and a cousin that I was very close to in 2019. Rebuilding life bit by bit. Hopefully something positive will come out of all this.
Unable to get over the failure of mains. Somehow it keeps coming back to me and its hard to concentrate on what to do now. The focus always goes towards the years lost specially when there were better choices left behind. I don't know how to get over this vicious cycle of negativity and unproductivity. The moment I get on with something, the anxiety kicks in again. It feels like I dont have the energy to do anything now.
People who have been through this, can someone suggest on how to move ahead?
I have been through this many times. This is going to be my first interview in 4 serious attempts at mains. Initially I did not get discouraged by mains results because I saw obvious flaws in my preparation. But in my previous mains, I felt like I had done everything. When mains result came, I could not help but cry.
I took some time to process these feelings. I re-evaluated my choices. Thought hard about whether it would be prudent to continue with preparation now. I tried few other things but came back to UPSC because this is what I felt that I really wanted to do. I resumed preparation. Reflected more and found out more flaws in my system. I tried many things to overcome those. Some did not work but some did. Don't know what the result will be after interview, but I feel that I have grown and progressed.
I agree with what Azadhindfauz said. Focusing on what is in our control and taking responsibility for that, is the only way forward.
