Did not do justice to GS last year due to poor recollection. This year created short notes, wrote tests. Revised short notes before every simulation. Revised them before the actual papers. Dipin sir had good words to say this year about me throughout the course which made me feel really good before the papers. In one of the lectures he acknowledged me in class. I made the video of it in my phone camera and used to listen to it everytime I felt low. Being an online student, it was my form of social connect. It helped me stay calm and be confident. I had much better MGP scores this year than 2022.
Made blunders in essay last year (82), joined a crash course this year. Then wrote essay tests to find myself in the Top 10 rankers. The actual essay paper went pretty well. I was particularly happy with my introductions and arguments.
Got 256 in Optional last year and had a very similar attempt this year (Add the extra short notes I made apart from basic intro-conclusion templates which were there from last year; Also had more map entries in Paper 2 than last year i.e. Knew 5 last year, this year 9 (Geography Opt); Much broader and elaborate use of case studies this time)
I was very satisfied with my attempt this time.
I hardly told anyone that I expect to clear. But deep down I was very confident of getting an interview call even in the worst case (Optional getting butchered)
The 0 of 0 and No results found have cut me deep. Never have I been so broken in life than this time. My housing society had its cricket tournament the day after the results. Because I had already committed and had paid the contribution I did not back out after the results. For the first time in my life, I was thinking of something else while playing cricket. For the first time I was sad while holding a bat. Dropped a few catches as well as I was not switched on. My mind kept showing me the pdf.
This exam has taken a huge toll on me. I kept on believing that this was my year. Through all the lows, Through the borderline Prelims score. Through the tough days. Through every morning where I felt I could not do more I kept going.
This one's gonna prick for a really long time. Who says time takes care of things.
What's the point of buying autobiographies of civil servants and reading them if I cannot even clear Mains. Nothing seems to make sense right now.
3 years gone in the bin.
It feels like someone wrote down what’s going on in my heart for last 3 days on loop. I can feel you my friend!!! And no word, no gyaan can heal this. When you give your everything to this exam and find yourself back to the square one. But the efforts, knowledge and dedication never goes in vain.
Let’s come back with a little more effort, energy and dedication and hope for success in the next shot. It is difficult to start it all over again trust me! I feel the same. But it will surely pay off.
