Dear Neyawn,
Heartfelt thank you for your insightful posts at every stage of this exam, much like the reality-bytes we miss to notice during preparation.
I read your article post-prelims highlighting the pitfalls and identifying inefficiencies in one's preparation.
Found it really relevant for someone like me, I have attempted this exam for the 4th time this year, starting from 2016 as a tester attempt to flunking at every prelims (be it paper1 -2( yes I missed paper 2 by a whisker as well, once)), so now this "khauff" of prelims has crept in. I am a fairly average guy who is decently read and has basic knowledge on almost all portions of CSE Syllabus. Yet those multiple failures haunt me somewhere and often most of the times now , hampering my preparation for next year.
I feel i have reached a stage where I am very far from where I started and even further from the destination, this lack of confidence (mind you, it wasn't there before but for these successive failures and the emanating "Khauff" fromt them). I think after 4 failed tries, logic deems to quit and start afresh in a different field, yet simultaneously I feel that the immense knowledge and know-how acquired shall go futile (atleast partly) if i do not go for it again and utilise the attempts. Why do I think that? I am 29, working in the 'off-seasons' (Public-Policy @govt think tank) without a sound future back-up as of now, the skills I have can be easily duplicated.
All in all, in these current 'doldrums' please suggest me some course of action, I prepare by myself without a peer group, heck I barely have friends who are preparing too. Didn't undergo any coaching and do self -study only.
Earlier had a time-table and schedules but now its all haywire, strongly feel to enroll in a test series and follow it.
Would really appreciate,if you can give me an ear, here or otherwise and any sort of course correction would be extremely helpful.
1. Have made notes but they must be refined and tuned, since I have not written mains even once, most articles/news/data etc seem very relevant but I know so that they are not. So how do I separate the chaff.
2. Diligent student who needs guidance and maybe even a 'danda'
3. Willing to go extra mile to cover up things.
PS- Please don't suggest that the remedies lie in my own comments above.
Thank you for your time.
Regards.