Dear All,
Just to let you know.
I have been a silent reader of this forum since 2017. No other platforms can match you all. Always felt something good about this group. Certainly it deserves my deepest gratitude.
Always got my emotion's matched with all-the-lovely-souls who are here with innumerable stories at their disposals.
Stories of victor's who have made past the UPSC peak and found Glory at the highest peak have definitely inspired me. And also stories of Victor's who dared to take the journey in India's one of the oldest examinations and be a part of the history and it's process, have too inspired me to take one step at a time, and attempt to move ahead with all confidence and faith in oneself.
Stories of XYZ individuals have always been a source of inspiration!
After 2021 Prelims. It was my fourth endeavour in UPSC CSE and reality is: never could cross the prelims gate and have an opportunity to write what I think about our India. I am unlikely to make the cut for the next stage.
I still remember the day when for the first time I read in the CSE notification the following:
"Candidates are expected to have taken an intelligent interest not only in their
special subjects of academic study but also in the events which are happening around them both within and outside their own State or Country as well as in modern currents of thought and in new discoveries which should rouse the curiosity of well-educated youth."
I was very much inspired by the above lines and felt I can make it happen and pass the CSE. Because I have always believed that I have in it me which the above lines have said.
Unfortunately, in the last three years post-graduation in 2018, I couldn't turn aspirations into reality, and got stuck in the process.
I love reading and have always loved diverse subject's. I come from Basic Sciences background. Because of my interest, always tried multiple activities in non-academic fields, and really enjoyed doing. For say, blogging, citizen journalism, social activity, advocacy, etc. I loved doing it.
And later thought that it would improve me as a person and would assist me to blend what I love doing and transform it into a career.
Eventualy, I thought UPSC CSE was the way to have a career in public affairs, along with some authority to try shape things from existing status quo and attempt to make little better than its previous shape, which I believe isn't happening now after four trials.
It is okay. I understand. Things which you love, in the end, may not translate into a happy marriage. Maybe I am not getting where I aimed at. It is alright.
In this quest, you know, I really loved reading Ethics. I never bounded myself with the regular recommended books.
I took a deep plunge in ethics and philosophy. I loved reading Vedanta, Taoism, Stoicism, Mahabharata, Bhagawad Gita, always. Always, inspirational subjects to refresh myself.
I have always tried to improve myself. I have been an average student always. Believe me, it always took a long time to understand concepts in class and after much struggle I could understand subjects. From 10th standard to graduation, always have been scoring in the 70 percentage range in terms of academic results, and had many backlogs too!
I shared a very brief non-cohesive writeup about my feelings right now in this place.
I just know our life don't end with one ambition.
We can restart our lives with the wisdom which we have recieved in our past endeavours.
Always remember, we still have many more decades to live and experience life.
One lost ambition cannot define completely who we have been. It is just one piece in the mosaic of "Art of Life", which when put in the right place can be the most striking piece in a beautifully crafted life.
So let one lost ambition propel us further to new avenues of life.
Before I end, I wish to copy an idea which I have kept in my GS4 notes.
Kavya Prakasha: The Sun is red at the time of rising, and red at the time of setting too. Similarly, noble people remain the same at the time of happiness and distress. In the Gita, the Lord says: “One should have equanimity in happiness or distress, victory or failure.”
Best wishes,
Family. ForumIAS Community.
:)
