[Results] Prelims 2020 Over - Gearing for 2021 - ForumIAS

[Results] Prelims 2020 Over - Gearing for 2021

Because of the corona virus issue? If it does not happen then worst affected will be people whose interview is stuck, around 600-700 such people I think are yet to appear for their interview.

@neyawn sir and others, what is your take?

This is the official Thread for discussion of Prelims Postponement, Please do not create new threads for the same.

jack_Sparrow,curious_kidand137 otherslike this



Brother I can truly empathize with your situation. Before you go any deeper in the rabbit hole of misery and pain, please hear me out.  I am an IIT+IIM grad . I passed out of IIM in 2014 and worked in a big ass consulting firm. I worked for one year and then quit to prepare for this exam full time, knowing that my past credentials would sail me in this exam too. Gave 2015, failed prelims. This shook my confidence, but still soldiered on cleared 2016, 2017 and 2018 prelims but flunked in Mains each time.

I too had people telling me that give other exams, but my inflated ego would dismiss every suggestion as an affront to my genius and my potential. Looking back it was the most stupidest thing I could have done. My bubble was so thick that I just refused to be realistic and shrugged off any sensible advice. All this time I had the option to be more than I was, but with each passing year I depleted my prospects and self worth.

In 2019 I suffered from massive episodes of Depression and Anxiety. My girlfriend of 8 years left me and I just did not have the fight left in me to do anything in life. I just felt that I could not do anything in life. I surrendered to higher power coz I had no fucking clue what to do.

Then something changed in me. One day I decided to burn all my UPSC material coz' the sight of these books made me feel sick and reminded me of my failures. That day not only the books burned, but along with it my feverishness for this exam burnt along with it. It was liberating! I no longer was that person whose life was centered around one stupid exam. Despite the resistance I started calling up my friends and started looking for a job and within 3-4 months I received a call from a big MNC and currently I am working there, about to get married and living a life which I am grateful for.

Just few pointer I need to share with you.

1. Do not underestimate your potential. You are from an IIT, this brand has a lot of value in market place. 

2. If you feel you are exhausted by UPSC, then fuck UPSC. One life Man, and no point wasting it on a stupid exam. Let go of this feverishness of UPSC. You gave your best in these 5 years, Nahi hua koi chakkar nahi, aage bahut opportunities hain life mein,

3. Do not think these 5 years have gone down the drain. Infact for me personally it enriched me a well keeled human being and professionally speaking while sitting for job interviews the companies used to appreciate the commitment to a goal despite the outcome and width of my knowledge. I got a job role which I never thought I could in my wildest dreams.

4. Take some professional medical help. Most likely you are suffering from clinical depression. Talk to your parents to your friends. Remove all the bandages from your inner wounds, let some fresh air do the healing.

5. Surrender to a higher power. Coz in the end it all a fucking random mess.

Sorry for the long post I just had to share this. Hopefully somewhere it gives you a little bit of hope and makes you realize that Zindagi bahut badi hai kissi bhi ek exam se.

Sapien,mightyrajuand59 otherslike this

Hello All, I got up early today and will reach the center atleast 3 hours before, received a call from center that only those who are willing to volunteer for human trials of the vaccine will be allowed to write the exam and will be given complementary Chai-Samosa between the two papers. Koi ricks nahi lene ka re hai baba. 

Wishing all of you, all the very best. Keep calm and ace the paper.

P.S. refrain from posting expected cutoffs at least for today. Shaam ko milte hai :D

Pre 2020: Ek Memekatha

1. Not able to sleep well and woke up early 

Funny Pictures - When someone asks how my night was, I'm like Didn ...

2. Checking a rechecking all the essentials to be taken to the exam centre: pen, id, mask, sanitizer, zameen ke kagaz

akshaykumarmemes hashtag on Twitter

3. All colony ki aunties asking why am I doing this, going to write paper in middle of Pandemic

Sacred Games Meme Templates - Indian Meme Templates

4. Me and the bois arriving at the center 3hours before the exam time

rajpalyadav hashtag on Twitter

5. Us excited lot after getting our COVID19 vaccinations as part of the human trials

Joker Dancing Memes - StayHipp

6. Entering the exam hall and before the commencement of the exam

Hera Pheri Meme Templates - Get Meme Templates

7. Anxiety attack kicks in as the invigilator starts paper distribution 


8. Amidst all the exam tension when the person sitting behind you suddenly starts coughing in middle of the exam

SwatKat💃 on Twitter:

9. Post GS paper 1 reaction

Maa chudi PADI hain, funny video 😂😂😂😁😁😁 - YouTube

10. Me to people discussing GS paper 1 outside exam hall

Mirzapur Meme Templates - Indian Meme Templates

11. On realizing that free Chai-Samosa promise at the center was a Jumla 

Ye BC Saare Milke Humko Pagal Bana Rahe Hai MC Ke Bacche - Ye BC ...

12. Me and the bois walking back in the exam hall for Paper 2

Kaante Movie | Cast, Release Date, Trailer, Posters, Reviews, News ...

*Jaane kya hoga Rama re* plays in the background.

13. Coming out of the exam center after finishing both the papers

Sacred Memes - KL Rahul and Murali Vijay after playing a... | Facebook

14. Trying to avoid forumias for post exam gossip

Indian Meme Templates

15. Seeing some over achievers posting cutoff predictions as 160

2019 Cricket World Cup: Pakistan's 'angry' cricket fan who went viral

Mirzapur Meme Templates - Indian Meme Templates

The End.

In the Meantime in a parallel universe UPSC pre 2020 be like:

Damini Tarikh Pe Tarikh GIF - Damini TarikhPeTarikh SunnyDeol ...

Naadan_Parinda,peacefulwarriorand57 otherslike this
What are you guys planning to read in next 3 days? 

sabkuch padna chatha hoo

laxmikanth ke panne firse palatna chatha hoo

spectrum kitab me firse ek baar khona chatha hoo

environment ke tropical evergreen forest me fir se jaana chatha hoo

lekin ab man nhi hai,kaun firse vo fundametal rights wala chapter pade,right to life and personal liberty(A21) padte padte khudki life kahan jarhi nhi samaj aarha

india ke bahar kabhi gaya nhi hoon,lekin dunia bhar ki locations yaad karta fir raha hoon 

ab man nhi hai,sabkuch padna chatha hoo lekin ab man nhi hai.

ssver2,Oasisand53 otherslike this

The biggest thing that makes me sad here is, I don't where did I fault. Where should I improve? There are no answers to that. We don't know at all what to do next year if we want to improve. Makes me very sad. You can glorify it the institution as much as you want, but this is not smart. The questions did not require smart guesses, you couldn't deduce it from your understanding I am pretty sure in most of the questions. It is more around tricks and guesses there. Call me a candidate who has had a bad exam and is ranting but this is NOT about smart guesses and testing understanding. This is Random. Purely random. I can't digest the fact that we don't have an answer to What should one do to improve. (I am done with that generalist answer, that Improve understanding of world around you. You should live current affairs. This was NOT a current affairs heavy exam. Looks like UPSC is taking some revenge from coaching wallahs and in turn students and to fulfill that, they'll make sure randomness increases to the extent that it is not current affairs anymore. ) 

Like someone mentioned earlier, it makes the ground equal for someone who has studied x sources with y revisions, to someone who has studied 5x sources with 10y revisions. 

On the topics from which questions were asked, 

Just to be sure I did(Because I thought the UPSC wants to test contemporary knowledge rather than just few months, want to know smart candidates) I did PTs of 2 years for Science-Tech and Environment Ecology. Nothing out of that. Not more than 2-3 protected areas from last 2 years news. Are we supposed to remember 550 WLS and 104 national parks? May be I faulted there. Did all tiger reserves, biosphere reserves, elephant reserves because they were doable. Nothing from there. Did all Sci-tech from last 2 years both years PT, but hatred of UPSC for vision (all coachings actually) costed me my year. 

No GI tag question, No folk music, art, paintings. How much of it did I do expecting they repeat every year. 

Wireless technology, I don't remember any proper wireless tech question. 

Transfer of Power 1940-47 I don't remember any question. 

No indexes, No PVTGs/tribes as far as I remember. 

Switched to world rivers from Indian rivers. 

The Repeatedly asked question thread was gold, I followed it, revised all those topics on the last day but the yield is bound to be less. 

Don't know do ignore I am writing my random rant, in the end I am just a stupid student who found the paper not doable and obviously who am I then to tell UPSC something. UPSC will still be the glorious institution which is capable of testing if I person knows world around him well or not. I did glorify the institution and exam similarly for the last 2 years, I pay the price today by feeling today that I may really not know anything about world around me. But with the small voice I have, I'll repeat this is not how you test understanding. There are multiple other ways. 

We would keep hailing UPSC and find something in this exam the UPSC, specially wanted to test here. I myself would do it in 10 days I can assure you. But for today this is my voice and this is how I feel. 

P.S Random Rant, with no structure, can be ignored. 

Fytto,Saloni2607and53 otherslike this
rank 123 :) 
mightyraju,Naadan_Parindaand52 otherslike this

This is perhaps the time when we remind ourselves that UPSC as an institute has tremendous credibility and would like to remain credible. It knows that there is no syllabus as such for Prelims. Previous year questions and the style of asking (where even seemingly vague questions can be worked out with a calm mind) are the only allies for a student preparing for this exam. It knows that it is supposed to be a qualifying exam and hence it cannot and should not probe candidates beyond a certain depth. 

So to feel shattered after seeing the marks of a test which was almost50% factual and had little scope for logical guessing,in my opinion, is just not the right. You still have to back yourself. You still have to tell yourself that "come4th october, i will ace Prelimsbecause I have prepared my subjectsbased on how UPSC frames questions; not some institutes who have to prepare 5000 questions over the course of 50 test papers while having a commercial agenda of their own. "

Basically you have totrust UPSC.Wo aisi bakloli 4-5 questions mein karega - jinhe aap seedhe seedhe skip kar skate ho. Yeh test papers aisi bakloli 40-50 question mein karte hain" 

Only thing you need to be worried about is some silly mistake you made - the kind of mistakes that make you want to smash the nearest windowpane. Just minimize those kind of errors. Be thorough with the core areas of the 6 subjects. Recollectandnot simply REREADstuff as you enter the final round of revisions. And back yourself to go all the way. 


Cheers !

Extremely wise words, I think.Full disclosure, I haven't cleared Prelims yet,but this is the realisation that I have come to as well. Whether that realisation will work for me this time, only time will tell. I missed out by the barest of margins (probably 1 or 2 controversial questions) last time. But when I thought about it, I realised that I had gotten 5-6 questions wrong (bread and butter questions like Stratospheric Aerosol injection, Mahayana buddhism, Charter of 1813 andffsEPR, EoDB index and Microplastics!!) simply because I: a) hadn't even revised the basics once; b) had lack of complete clarity; c) had doneatleast 120 mocks (and scored highly - 99%ile and all) and tried to fill my brain with junk; and d) had built up UPSC and the exam so much in my head that I was looking for traps everywhere. So, did I eventually lose out because of controversial questions or because of a fu** up of mammoth proportions never seen before in the history of humankind? The answer is quite clear, I think. 

There is absolutely no point getting jubilant over a mock test score, be it 130 or 150. Similarly, there is no point getting distraught over a score of 70 in the last month. Especially in the last month. Such low scores in tests which have absurd questions make you question your own preparationbecause they are designed to do so.Anyone who runs a test series, even an open test series,is trying to sell you something. Only you can be the judge of your own preparation. If you've been at this for 6 months to a year or more, you definitely know where you are lacking in your preparation and you are in a position to make areasoned assessmentof the areas you urgently need to work on at this time.Do not allow mock tests or the ones selling them to take you in a direction which you would not go in, had the mock test not existed in your life.

Further, these mock testsoften cloud your clarity of thoughtto such a great extent. If you have been diligent in your preparation so far, you have a fairly certain idea of where you stand in terms of your knowledge. This is the worst possible time for you to assess where you stand.Deep down, you know whether you can clear prelims this time. Degrees of confidence may vary, but you know already. If you aren't confident, doing mock tests and obsessing over the results won't improve your confidence/can give you a misplaced sense of confidence. If you are confident/overconfident, it can either dent your confidence or confirm your overconfidence.

This time, I've aimed for that sweet spot in the middle. I know that I have an extremely good chance of clearing prelims provided I can keep my head about myself, do the stuff I know I need to do, and generally act like a rational person (who knows what microplastics are ffs) till October 4, Paper I.

Remember, this is the time to arm yourself with the arrowsthat you know you definitely need to have, and more importantly,to prune those arrows you already have in your armoury.Don't prepare for the bouncer UPSC may set, not now at least. If you begin to do that, there is no beginning or end to the things that you are required to read. At the end of the day,it is just an exam which a person who is not half as privileged as you should be able to clear with dedicated preparation.I mean, dafuq is palaudiculture anyway? 

peacefulwarrior,MatildasMissHoneyand50 otherslike this

out. but not down. will try and bounce back 1000 times harder.

Best of luck to all who are in. make it count, i will be cheering and praying. Dil se.

Panicmonster,Oasisand47 otherslike this

I see some people are rubbing it into other's wounds here. I mean questions like "obc, 106..what are my chances"... Dude.. You know clearly that you will be writing mains. Stop with this "what are my chances thing"... Be a little more sensitive. We have built a community that revels in each other's joys and stands up for each other when someone feels down. But this kind of attitude is plain sad. You are happy. Get on with it. Go and start answer writing. That's the main  thing.

Am sorry for this rant. But understand that only 1-2% are sure about their chances. Most are disappointed. Some are sad. Most are praying for miracle (myself included). Couple of my friends broke down on my shoulders this morning. I wept with them too.

So if nothing else, Be a little more sensitive. 

MikeWozniak,phoebeand47 otherslike this

So interviews will be over today, n results will be out soon..  I was out of cse 2019 race in prelims itslf, n m now preparing for prelims 2020.

Just taking a moment to enjoy the peace before the storm of topper talks begins. Of first attempt toppers. Of genuine sons n daughters from humble backgrounds who will clear the exam without any coaching. Of some exceptional people who honestly share their experiences. Of ppl who give lame gyaan after clearing in heightened  self esteem. And of course  Of new advertisements of coachings, with trees with new toppers as the leaves.. 

Moments of peace. 


Oasis,Tetsukoand45 otherslike this

Hello everyone

Congratulations to all those who cleared prelims.

I just wanted to share my experience with the aspirants who have failed or may be into their 4th 5th or more or exhausted their last attempt.

I finished my last attempt last year in 2019 for cse. I have not written on this platform for many years having first joined I think in 2013 when everything was different.

I won't take much time and have just few concrete points which I thought should share today .

What was my thought process when I entered this exam in 2015 full time?

When I started preparing for this exam full time , I was very confident of selection and I didn't even imagine in my wildest dreams that I won't succeed. I was high on success having left a good job at an  International Bank and an IIT brand name behind my back , I thought it was just a matter of time that I succeed. 

What were my mistakes?

1. I sat full time and prepared and did nothing productive 

 2.I did not give any other exam apart from UPSC 

3. I gave my first two attempts without proper prepration.

4.I stopped my life for this exam.I did not do anything apart from studying. 

5. Stopped looking after my body and physical fitness

In short , both my personal and professional life went for a toss.

The changing scenario of competition and few suggestions!

In 2014 seats were maximum around 1400 and more than 17k people cleared prelims. In today's scenario, seats are  hardly around 800 for which a total of  more than 5.5lakh students that appear for the exam. In coming years seats will still decrease and students appearing will increase due to unemployment. 

In these circumstances, putting your life at stake and your prime youth and energy is not a prudent step.Do not keep all your eggs in one basket.

DO NOT give more than two years under any circumstances for full time preparation.

Life is bigger than one exam. People generally stop their lives for for this preparation , Stop talking to friends or stop looking after their body , confining themselves to one room , gaining weight , loosing hair and loosing out on age as well. So please do not stop living your life. Keeping doing all things parallely whatever you like.

Take calculated risks in life as you only have one life but taking blind risks is not recommended. You should be intelligent enough to know when to move on, thats important.

It won't matter in a few years from now.so , don't be sad or question yourself just because you didn't clear this one exam. Every one has a different destiny and a different life path.

Today, I have moved on got jobs at the best companies in the World and doing well.

And it's not just me, many people like me are also doing very well who were in a similar condition , some have opened startups some doing higher  studies, some moved to a different country .

In the end , I just want to say, everything happens for a reason and you cannot connect the dots looking forward ,It's only looking back can you connect them.

So, just believe in yourself and move on .Be intelligent enough to know when it's time to let go. It might save you your precious time , energy and  prime youth.

lAll the best.

Panicmonster,Oasisand45 otherslike this

Hi guys. Wanted to share something with all of you. In the month of March, I came to my hometown from Delhi as colleges were shut due to covid-19. Lockdown happened, and with lots of uncertainty around, corona was about to enter our lives. It originated in Wuhan and has now reached our neighbourhood. Thanks to globalisation. I kinda took it lightly,thought it will go away in sometime and definitely not infect me or my family. Just two days back, i came to know that my uncle(father's first cousin) got infected with covid. He was admitted to AIIMS,situated in our hometown. He was doing fine, mild symptoms. All the members of the family staying with him (8 in number) including our grandmother were immediately quarantined and put in isolation. Everyone got themselves tested except grandma who couldn't go to the test centre. Test reports of all the family members came positive. All got admitted into AIIMS except my bhabhi and her 3 year old kid who also tested positive. Yesterday at 3 am midnight, grandma complained of breathlessness and pain(let me tell you that she was super fit and had no comorbidities). Bhabhi, who was herself covid positive, called family and grandma was taken to the hospital where she lost her life, even before the treatment. We suspected it was covid, but were not sure because she wasn't tested yet. 2 hours after her death, her covid report came positive. We were not even able to see her face for the last time. She left us alone. She never travelled anywhere, kept telling everybody to wash hands, practice healthy habits, but covid snatched her from us. The next day, she was paid electric cremation. We could not see her for the last time. She died in the same clothes she had been wearing for two days, she was not literate, knew nothing about Corona, bacteria,virus, Wuhan, or any of the terms, but covid took her life, in the most brutal manner. Most of the family members have still not recovered from covid and are in hospital. I don't know how my bhaiya, bhabhi and Tauji(Indian uncle) might have felt on grandma's demise. They got no shoulder to cry on, only doctors and nurses in PPE kits. Life is hard sometimes.

Friends, I shared this story just to remind you again, that Covid is not as easy as we are taking it, or as the government is handling it. Covid is barbaric. Before it touched my own family, I use to take it quite lightly and thought that I will not get infected and never really felt the pain that others who were infected were experiencing. One case in family, and covid 'ne literally hamein hila ke rakh diya hai'. Yesterday my parents also got tested for covid.

Take care of your family and your own. Call it basic, but please wash hands again and again, tell your family members to do so. Mask pehno guys. And avoid sitting near  your grand parents or anyone in the family who is weak or has heart ailments or is diabetic. Pehle main bhi easy le rhi thi, but ab nhi le rahi. Covid is real guys. 

I don't know what I have to say for exams, be it the prelims 2020 or NEET/JEE. Iss saal se bas zinda aur safely bahar nikal jayein, achievement hoga. We have to save ourselves and of course our families. Take extra care, all of you.

Thank you for reading, you can wash hands now and also ask your family to do so. 

Prevention is the only solution.

peacefulwarrior,Oasisand43 otherslike this
@SergioRamos OK. First things first, do not try it for Prelims 2020. It's just 19 days. You really won't understand anything in such a less time. It took me more than 2-3 months to internalize the philosophy used by ANKI or Super Memo or Quizlet or any other spaced repetition softwares.

I'll give a very brief background.

So, when it comes to learning, most of the students adopt these 3 methods - Rereading, Highlighting and Summarizing. According to science, these 3 are the least efficient ways to study

What are the most efficient ways to study - Active recall, Spaced Repetition and Interleaved Study.

Just google - What works and What doesn't by Professor Dunlosky. You'll get a 6 page pdf in the first link. Read it, you'll understand the basic behind what i am saying

Now coming to these softwares, ANKI or SuperMemo - Super Memo was started by a Polish guy named Woz, He revolutionized learning with his Software called Super Memo. Just like Windows 95, 97 etc, Super Memo also got upgraded every 3-4 years and the current version is Super Memo 18

ANKI is a free software developed by some students and learning enthusiasts, and it uses the algorithm used by Super Memo 2 (Which is way back to 1992)

So Super Memo 18 is like AI, which adjusts according to your forgetting index and shows you the content.

I understand it's little complicated at the outset, but once you learn it, it's like a magic wand to remember things.

Yeh saab kya hai? Am I really old and outdated? I was under the impression that it was possible to pass the exam with a Add-Gel pen and White Notebook. ;-)

Neyawn,Sapienand41 otherslike this
@Admgenalanezh plz dont include me in this.

Naadan_Parinda,theflyngdutchmanand39 otherslike this

I met a new aspirant 2 days back .. He said his goal in life is to become prime minister  .  First he ll become IAS . Then he will propagate his administrative skills and aptitude in social medias , utube . Then he ll resign and join bjp( no scope in congress as rahul gandhi still young) . Then he ll become MP . 1st term he ll concentrate on raising his popularity . When he ll come back in second term he ll become PM !  The thing is he was serious when he was speaking all these stuff....  hmmm ....

BC yahan logon ka prelim clear nehi horaha........

Aurora,GaryVeeand39 otherslike this
पढ़ लो, 2 महीने पहले भी यही बकर पेल रहे थे । 4 महीने का टाइम दे दिया अब भी वही बकर चल रही । UPSC ने सेंटर बदलवा दिए हैं, नए स्कूल भी खरीद लेगी सेंटर्स के लिए , हर सेंटर पर बच्चे भी कम लेगी, प्लास्टिक शीट्स भी लगवा देगी बेंचेज़ पर कवरिंग के लिए, invigilaters को PPE किट्स भी देदेगी और बच्चों को एक मास्क और face shield sanitiser किट भी दे देगी जरूरी हुआ तो - मगर एग्जाम अक्टूबर में ही होगा । 😎😎😎
ssver2,Itachiand38 otherslike this

ab to date confirm ho gayi ! admit card bhiDOWNLOADkar liya hoga sab ne ! and irrespective of what scores you are getting or what scores somebody else is getting, calmness and revisions are your allies in these last few days. So i thought why not post something that can add to everybody's knowledge hereinstead of adding to the anxiety.

because maano ya na maano, iss thread pe tum aaogey...baar baar aaogey...4th october ki subah tak aaogey...aur ab smile karne se kuch ni hoga.. :D

So here goes  :

agar meinBHUTANkiBUSmeinMMSbhej raha hun, to mein kya kar raha hun ? 

Ans : meinRUPAY cardski countries yaad kar raha hun.

BHUTAN, Bahrain, UAE, Singapore, Maldives, Myanmar, and Saudi Arabia.

OK bye !

MatildasMissHoney,Oasisand37 otherslike this


Congratulations to all who qualified, work hard for mains.

It was my last attempt. Although I did not make it, I must say the whole journey of preparation was wonderful. Taught me a lot of things.

A word of unasked for advice for the newcomers- work hard but don't take this exam on your ego. Be pragmatic. If you are in a decent job, my advice will be not to leave it. Don't hold up your life's engagements ( marriage etc ) for too long for the sake of UPSC. Put a time limit for yourself. Try to excel in whichever field you venture. IAS or not, you can do great things in life.

As for me, I am fortunate enough to have everything that is required to lead a happy life, and thankful for it. I will always look back at this journey with a smile.

Signing off.

Yours truly


Adya,missionmangaland37 otherslike this
Now that Ravish Kumar has shown it in his primetime, Government will 100% conduct it on 4th Oct.
ssver2,abhilasha1811and36 otherslike this
This was my 5th attempt. I flunked this year. I am an IITian. Friends told me prepare for RBI SEBI more technical things which hv certainty., dont go for uncertain arts. I did not listen. I pursued. Wanted to solve crime and see people get justice.  Ah!! my idealism. Bloody Crime Patrol.  And here I am after 5 years, with no job, and Body mass index crossing all acceptable limits and tons of failures. Qualified pre every time but Never crossed mains barrier. People here are talking about Plan B. Brother, There is no energy left in me to pursue anything. Parents have given up hope and friends are expanding population. I am just lonely loser sitting in this one empty room.
People try to cheer me up by saying I am an inspiration for them. I know what they mean. They mean to say "Look look!!  that what happens when you get overambitious." Pair utni failao jitni chadar ho jisko samajh nahi aata uska iss larke jaisa halat hota hai.  
I will probably not come again ever on social media bcz then I start comparing myself . So before my last adieu I want to speak my mind. Also bcz no one knows me here and their judgement will not affect me , I am taking this route. Otherwise in real world No matter what I say , I will be judged. No one will listen ki "Maine har saal mehnat kiya tha , har saal nind sacrifice kii thi, har baar evalute and re-evaluate kiya, har saal fight kiya". No one will believe. Infact my father doesnt believe in my efforts What can I say about others. All will say You did not give your best effort. You know what, the pain of failure doesn't hurt that much. What hurts most is that people do not acknowledge your sacrifices. Power of specs has increased, face has become like a squeezed tomato , male pattern baldness has set in, social circle is non-existent since 5 years. No one even recognizes it. 
And to top it, Coaching teachers have some hurtful comments. One teacher says, one who doesnt qualify is definitely not preparing and wasting his time, Second teacher says if u do not get single-double digit rank then ur efforts were useless , u shud have joined a PSU instead. Third teacher says, if u are not in till 4th attempt then quit and do something else- tumse na ho paega -its beyond your caliber.   I Hear these insults and humiliations on daily basis. But still I push myself. Manate hain dil ko , push karte hain khud ko. But no one will see it, All are going to say " 5 years since college and no jobs, Nalayak larka hai. useless kid. ". 
I cant even remember when was the last time I went on a vacation. I cant even imagine What is the feeling of being stress free, the feeling of being relaxed, feeling of security. 
I used to believe in God. But now I think if it existed then atleast once in these years it would have heard my prayers. People say God helps those who help themselves. They say as if I was swiping faces on tinder all these years. 
 Sometimes I think of quitting and reducing my carbon footprint once and for all. It will be less painful than daily dose of pain I bear. 
I dont even know why I am posting this on social media. Maybe I am looking for one teeny tiny ray of hope. Maybe some enlightened soul can help. Maybe I want to live and enjoy like others so I am writing all my ramblings. But there seems no hope. I am living example of demographic disaster. God please help me. I wish I had someone to talk to. 

Dear @forumiasacademy  

You guys are better placed to reach out to our valuable friend @HappyValley2020 .

So many responses show that not only many among us feel what our friend must be feeling but are also eager to listen to him and help

However the anonymity here restricts us. Many here have already written telling our friend he is not alone in this and many here share a bit or more of his thoughts.

You guys must be having his contact no. mail etc.

I request you to contact him and if he is in Delhi then invite him and ask someone from your side to meet him in person

In our selfoccupied lives we tend to ignore such small things but they do matter

Afterall it is the kindness of our family and friends- many of them being strangers- that brings joy to us.

@Neyawn @root

Sapien,mightyrajuand35 otherslike this
I am sharing something that can only be understood by my peers over here.

So I happen to be in one of the two buildings that have corona positive patients in Old Rajinder Nagar. Yesterday, the district collector gave the go ahead for lifting of restrictions from ORN and ordered the sealing of these two buildings only. The patient , who happens to be student like us, is in the 2nd floor and hasn't come out once in the past 10 days (he was diagnosed  on 11th). Only this morning things got interesting.

Since the police put a barricade yesterday, everyone in my neighborhood now know that there is a patient somewhere in the building. And so, all of a sudden, everyone now has become antagonistic to whosoever is coming out of the building even for basic stuff like garbage disposal (the van with the "delhi nagar nigam" message) or getting the foster/bislery cans of water which are being delivered at the doorstep.
This morning one of the students (not corona positive) of this very building got into a heated argument with a neighbor when he was purchasing some bananas (with no cooks available, we are doing whatever it takes to survive this onslaught on our character and temperament) . The lady raised an alarm of sorts and in no time the whole locality started buzzing with expletives directed towards the unfortunate soul (and i repeat, he is one of us).

Hearing the buzz, I went out and in no time, i became the center of attention too. One senior citizen went on to say, "jahaan se aaye ho chale jaao." And another youth in his 30s may be, staright away called the Police to take note of " 2 persons doing BADTAMEEZE." The police came and in their typical "i dont give a damn if you have something to say" manner warned us ," agli baar ghar se baahar nikle to mukadamma kar dunga, andar hoga alag se)

I can only imagine that we ain't alone in this. There must be others who are on the verge of being ostracized by whichever community they live in. 

And I can only thank god, it isn't October 4th today. Else who knows, these "i am swag" policemen may even go to the extent of actually prohibiting us (those in containment zones) from reaching the exam hall.  And even if they have directions to allow us to leave, who is to say that when we return in the evening, these so called "neighbors" aren't waiting  to humiliate us again and ask us to go back to ," jahaan se bhi aaye ho"

I am not the playing the victim card here. There is no use actually. Just wanted to share this with few people here who think corona is a joke and us aspirants are being hypocrites for even expecting another delay. 
Fytto,Oasisand35 otherslike this
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