I can empathise with your thoughts. I always wanted to play guitar, set out on a solo trip & get the bike dirt on my face but alas! I fell in the upsc trap even when i had a way out. Always hiding my face from public gatherings and telling myself ki "apna time aayega"! Be it the scorching summer heat or the chilling winters, I've seen seasons come n go. It's not upsc that baffles me anymore but life! More than these seasons I've seen people changing, masks peeling off and that rawness fears me no longer. Every attempt makes me a wiser and a quieter person and though it's a very private affair, yet i evolve. Some call it a depression, others mark it as a liability, but the day i get to the other side of the wall, I'll make my every action as effective as my every step today. And if at all i don't, then more than burdening my child with my unfulfilled dreams, I'll advice her/him to follow their instincts even if it brings swollen eyes, frigid back and public shame... I've learnt that my private victory is much more larger and deeper than my public credentials! Call it a retreat or call it resistance- I'm a fighter and I'll fight till my end!
Veronicasaid
@VeronicaI can empathise with your thoughts. I always wanted to play guitar, set out on a solo trip & get the bike dirt on my face but alas! I fell in the upsc trap even when i had a way out. Always hiding my face from public gatherings and telling myself ki "apna time aayega"! Be it the scorching summer heat or the chilling winters, I've seen seasons come n go. It's not upsc that baffles me anymore but life! More than these seasons I've seen people changing, masks peeling off and that rawness fears me no longer. Every attempt makes me a wiser and a quieter person and though it's a very private affair, yet i evolve. Some call it a depression, others mark it as a liability, but the day i get to the other side of the wall, I'll make my every action as effective as my every step today. And if at all i don't, then more than burdening my child with my unfulfilled dreams, I'll advice her/him to follow their instincts even if it brings swollen eyes, frigid back and public shame... I've learnt that my private victory is much more larger and deeper than my public credentials! Call it a retreat or call it resistance- I'm a fighter and I'll fight till my end!
You are a very strong person. I wish you find happiness and your true passion at the end of all this. Reading your post was very empowering. Thank you for sharing it. Just feels nice and comforting to know that there are people who keep up the fight alive within them.
Yes! Exactly the point... who knows maybe after all this toil, passion lies somewhere else.
"Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow till you find your dream! "
Thank you for your wishes and may you do well in life too 😌
