We all make mistakes . What mistake did you make in your previous attempt if any that you would like to warn people about ?
I cleared PT 2018 [exact 98 marks], did not clear in 2019 and cleared in 2020 [score should be around 108-112]. My take on the exam is:
1. I cleared in 2018 because I got lucky. I did work hard but it wasn't aligned the way it should have been, it was all haphazard, the only thing I did right was that I revised basic books several times and eventually it paid off.
2. In 2019 I failed because I took my luck for granted. I thought 2018 strategy would work but it didn't. I did make a few tweaks but that was at the cost of basic books and PYQs. Of course I paid a heavy price for it. Lesson - Current affairs can help you only when you have support of basic books.
3. 2020: Rectified mistakes from the past. Numerous revisions of basic books + PYQ. Solved several mocks but did not revise them or solved them at the cost of revision of basic books and PYQs.
4. UPSC has certain low hanging fruits and they should be prepared well: National Parks/sanctuaries, Buddhism and Jainism, Acts by Britishers prior to 1947, certain species [tigers, lions etc.], economic trends related to GDP etc. If someone does these properly with basic books, chances of getting selected increase.
5. It was in my 2020 attempt that I decided not to take mock scores at heart. I mean there is little you can do about them, just learn the relevant stuff and move on. I had cried over mock scores in 2018, 2019 attempt, wasted a day crying over it. In 2020 I attempted the mock and every time I got a bad score, I went back to PYQs. It was not only uplifting but also helped me eliminate options in UPSC paper.
6. In 2019, I couldn't sleep a night before exam and was upset about it in the morning. In 2020, I couldn't sleep a night before exam but I was okay with it. I just told myself how this is natural and a sleep's night should not be allowed to mess with my head.
7. In 2019, half an hour with the question paper and I had told myself how I will not clear the prelims. And of course I did not. In 2020, my set had polity question in the end, in the first 50 questions I only knew 11 questions with surety and they were almost all related to science and random ambiguous questions. But in 2020, I told myself if this paper is difficult for me, it will be difficult for everyone because I did everything that had to be done. I had said something similar to my father while on our way to exam center and he replied "bas yehi toh chahiye na, iss baar tu khush hai jo last time nahi thi. Your confidence will help you this year". A deep breath and a few seconds of self-talk helped me ace 2020 prelims.
I truly believe that a day before exam is meant for hard work and one should slog as much as possible. However, on the day of prelims be the boss and just tell yourself how you can and will ace it. Trust me, it works. I have personally seen it work.
All the best to everyone appearing for prelims this year.!
My only regret as far as prelims goes was my 2018 attempt. Prior to that and also after 2018 I easily cleared the cutoff of civils and many a times of Forest service also.
I will tell you only 1 thing.
In last one month, those 10 odd basic books like Shankar, Laxmikant Spectrum etc will be of paramount importance. Just keep on reading same geography NCERTs, same macroeconomic NCERT etc and you will sail through.
At the end of the day , 60 questions will come from these sources. You need 45 Net correct. From next 40, even with 2-3 readings of Current Affairs one can get 10 net correct.
110 is more than enough to clear this exam.
PS: I scored 128-135 in 2020.
Mistakes yearwise
1. In 2016 gave attempt thinking ki mai badshah hun aur 2 mahine mein sabkuc padh liya hai.... upsc ne bahut jor ki thappad maari got around 88 marks
2. In 2017... was fully prepared did around 70 mocks but 4..5 questions static se galat kar diye aur prev year analysis pe thoda less focus kar paaya... 2 marks se reh gaya.
3. In 2018... mai january se pagal ho gaya tha ki mujhe chahiye kisi bhi keemat par 150 marks in prelims... gave SFG and did vision 30 tests, also dipin sir classes helped. And meri 2 ghante exam k sirf exam k liye hi the... I knew somehow after attempting the paper ki ho jaayega....qki last 5 mnths mein utna mehnat kisi ne sirf prelims k liye nahi kiya hoga
4. 2019... centre bahut dur tha...i decided to stay at a different place. This ruined evrything. I was not able to sleep properly. Moreover 2..4 questions dekh k panic ho gaya. Upar se invigilators poore 2 ghante badbadate rahe. In exam time i started thinking about future, career, 4 saal ho gaye ye bhi nahi aa raha and all... and failed in prelims... moreover mocks mein bhi utne ache marks nahi aa rahe the. Ek aur baat i started preparing for prelims in feb jo ki ek galti hai....ab 5 mahine k aaspaas chahiye agar surety chahiye prelims mein toh
5. In 2020... revised evrything in lockdown... better marks in mocks and abhyaas. Quesn isme bhi predictable nahi the... Infact i saw 1st ques as fertigation and saw 5 more quesn...Mai samajh gaya UPSC nahi badli hai.. I dont know why but i started laughing ki padhai mein se pata nhi kuc aayega bhi ki nahi....but i will give mu best fight... gave my complete two hours to the paper...and towards the end i knew i would clear...cleared prelims.
Suggestions
1. Statics ko mat ignore karo...upsc prelims hone k chances kam ho jayenge.
2. Last m koi bhi kitaab mat kharido...10 sawaal kisi ek chiz se aajtak nahi aaye naa hi ayenge.
3. Confidence aisa rakkho ki aapne mehnat ki hai, mocks lagaye hain toh aapko fal milega.
4. Tukke maarne padte hain aur aapko bhi maarne padenge...aap bas socho ki mehnat jyada aapne kiya hai toh better tukke aap hi maaroge.
5. Ladai jhagda ka mahaul exam waale din naa banayen....shaanti se raho thoda meditation karo... nirvana milegi.
6. Subjectivity hai....kabhi kabhi aapke haath m chizen nahi hoti... wait kro fal milega.
7. Prev year quesn ko agar aapne ignore kiya hai toh fal bhugatne k liye taiyaar rehna....qki upsc ko sirf uske kiye huye karmo se samjha jaa sakta hai
1st attempt - Cleared - Single source and multiple revision - Solved only 3 full length mocks- Fullsleep
2nd attempt - Failed - CA neglected + Very less mocks +Sleepissue due to stress
3rd attempt - Cleared - Only one source for CA & Static(Only 1 month of prep for pre) + Solved 3 full length mocks+ Couldsleptpeacefully
4th attempt - Failed -Sleepissue + No mocks given
5th attempt - Cleared - Balanced mocks + CA + Static ->Butsleepissue and stress in exam hall resulted in clearing with little margin
Only takeaway for this attempt ->Less stress more performance +Sleep well before exam+ Everyone studied for exam , only who could control stress and anxiety can be succeeded
I have seen that external factors like the bench is not proper ( Last year, I got to sit on a chair with very short table which kids use) , or say invigilator whispering/ talking very loud have been very irritating . The attempts in which I could not clear prelims , made me think in the exam hall that these factors are ruining my chances of clearing. But some how makes me feel ,that lack of systematic preparation makes us vulnerable to get distracted by these things which are not in our control.
When I had cleared prelims with comfortably good score, mostly such things did not matter much.
Staying as calm as possible helps .
+1
So I had a room mate who was seemingly very studious ( his room was locked most of the time ) and his father was a very senior IPS officer.
He once came down to the place. Another Flatmate complained about the landlord / maid / food and what not.
This man, because of lack of space and maybe habit, humbly decided to sleep on the floor , despite all of us insisting to sleep on the floor ( the roommate felt so bad for his father, he couldn’t sleep all night )
In the morning, he said something that has stuck with me through the years.
He said, beta, when you see the fish”s eye, you don’t see anything else. That’s the kind of focus that is needed before the Prelims.
I am no knight. Do not call me Sir|Philosophy behind ForumIAS
I became complacent and lost track during the CSAT paper! Lost it there.
Learnings from my previous attempts which has always helped me
1. Strictly doing pyqs only. No coaching mocks. 1 or 2 just to get feel sometimes. Pyqs has to be done very seriously, its just like laxmikant everytime you read it you get new insights, so i have also discovered some patterns in their options framing and important topics which are repeatedly asked.
2. Reading static more, even if you are bored of reading same books try to spice it up by active recalling. Scribble concepts on a piece of paper, try and list down say Gandhian principles of dpsps. Or features of biosphere reserve. Sometimes auch practice helps in internalising well.
3. While reading current affairs, just read get a general idea, no need to get into minute details, you won't remember in the exam!! That's how the process is designed
4. Integrate static and current, best strategy.
5. Have 3 strategies about how you will solve the paper. Be prepared for a very different yet lengthy paper. Tell your mind that paper is not going to be difficult, it would just be different which will put you in an uncomfortable position and that's where your real test will lie.
6. Be courageous yet confident! You have to attempt 90+ irrespective of how the paper is, and its ok if you get even 25 questions incorrect, paper is designed in such a manner that you are bound to commit silly mistakes. Idea is not to panic. Be bold enough to mark that damn option. If you can eliminate one option you have to attempt the question.
7. Dont overthink, its always counterproductive, even if you get the question correct, you eat up time of other questions! So just go ahead mark that bloody option with confidence and gut feeling.
8. Plan the last week today, what you are going to do in those 7 days. It is very important, it will actually help in finding a path in times of chaos and uncertainty of last week.
9. Get into examiners mindset now, what would have they thought before framing questions and options, where is that hidden hint?
10. Don't be anxious on exam day, i know it's easier said than done. Being anxious before the paper is fine, but once you get the paper, you have to go all guns blazing.
1. Less practice of mocks. Thought reading more and having a lot of knowledge is better. But mind can only assimilate till a point, rest is utilization. Mind must be trained toanswer, and notassimiliate.This is probably the difference between a would-be professor/teacher and future administrator, I think. Practice as many mocks as you can, even till last day (second last to be exact, I prefer last day off.) It helps.Tremendously.
2.Discipline-Can't stress this enough. Get up early (thank god SFG ensures that). There's a reason most successful people today (read most, I dont claim ALL) get up before 5 or 6 am. Leaders, CEOs of companies, sportpersons etc. Human beings, since beginning of civilization, have collectively come to this conclusion that waking up early is going to benefit you. Believe that, avoid careless criticism of age old wisdom. Or, do that at your own peril. So, I repeat, get up early every single day till prelims. At least one month before.
3. Sleep issue-happens if you study/revise on last day. I keep last day off. Having less sleep does affect you negatively, but I have seen many clear it without much sleep also. So, not really sure with this one. Personally for me, I need it.
4. Practice static more. No one, I repeat, no one is God in current affairs. Currents affairs is the achilles heel of everyone. Dont fret about it too much. You dont lose out in prelims because you didnt remember some random convention/bird name/factual policy. You lose out because you messed up that static fundamental question of polity, economics or geography.@Neyawn has given a funda....33% currents and 66% static. Stick to it.
5. For repeaters-your arrogance/ego about your previous successful attempt is your biggest enemy. Its mine too. Its a personal battle, takes time to tackle. I havent been able to counter it completely, but practicing mocks keeps those thoughts at bay. Prelims of any year is a great leveller, while freshers are afraid that they may not have full knowledge, repeaters are afraid what if they forget a scheme they read 1 year earlier and it comes in the paper? Only answer to it-keep practicing, compare your performance (SFG or excel sheets) and practice more.
6. Stay away from these 2 kinds of people-"tera toh ho jayega yar"and "UPSC kaise paper bana raha hai, kya kya puchne lag gaye, aise thodi na test hoti hai knowledge".Both these are counter-productive. The first one produces laziness, the second demotivates you. We must not be these. We need to be active and motivated. If you yourself indulge in it (like i used to), please stop. It has opposite effect.
7. Lastly, and this one will be controversial, but I will say it.Have faith in mocks.Not the questions as such, but in the process. Giving tests/practicing mocks daily brings real physical changes in your body and you start getting into the exam mode. Thats THE MOST CRUCIAL ASPECT. All the coaching institutes are trying to make things easier for you, they try very hard to produce quality content/tests/solutions. Sure there are discrepancies here and there but by and large this model of coaching institutes is working fine as it is producing toppers since 20 years at least. Have faith that the people sitting and making those papers and content for you do that with a lot of dedication and commitment, and you can take a lot of benefit from it, but only if you have a proper mindset. They are not sitting there just to make the big bucks, they have their own targets and goals which go much, much beyond mere money. So, please, drop that critical attitude atleast during this time till prelim, and solve questions as much as you can. Because let me tell you, the toppers are already doing it, quietly but consistently. Every single criticism/negative energy takes you away from the path of success. You dont want that.
And lastly, since I believe in God, I pray to him every day. If you do too, please continue. If you dont, have faith on something else. Its a competition at the end of the day, and like every competition it will always mean each one for themselves. No uniform strategy will work because all of us are different and unique. Do whatever will make you fetch the best marks. Thats all that matters, till 10 Oct, 2021.
I got an email from a member, who did not want to disclose his/her identity and yet wanted to contribute.
Here it is
I have failed all 3 Prelims (2018,2019,2020) which I wrote.
Background : Have been a so called topper during school days. Got into decent college. Basically, my downfall started from there. After getting into college I started having inferiority complex because, almost everyone who came there was a topper in school and most of them had better jee performance than me. I used to get taunts for my achievements as well my failure whole life by society as well as few family members but i never let them affect me because i was so naive to think that educated and broad minded people from the college where i'm going won't be like that but one incident which happened during 1st semester's interaction with one senior changed my whole life and, I believe i'm yet to get out of that zone completely though I have made quite a progress. And I passed out of college as one of the last rankers of my stream in my final year.
Now coming to my UPSC attempts
1st attempt:
Attended all the classes diligently and made proper notes and tried to revise them daily but didn't touch them after that [Mistake 1], [might have missed only 1-2 classes which i felt weren't useful at all and skipped entire Biology module because I felt sleepy in the first class itself]. So, I didn't re revise my notes and since classes ended less than 2 months before prelims i couldn't finish all the reference books also properly [Mistake 2]. Current affairs I barely touched and revised [Mistake 3], though i used to read newspaper daily till 2 months before prelims. Did look at some Previous Year Papers superficially without any proper analysis. [Mistake 4]. Didn't practice a single Mock [Mistake 5]. I knew I won't clear the exam but still somehow pushed myself after looking at the sacrifices my mother was doing for me. I finally gathered the courage to tell her the night before the exam that i don't think i'll clear it because i haven't given my 100%. But she said i trust you, it's the exam fear only otherwise you are prepared i have seen you this whole year you didn't even skip classes, you studied daily etc. But i tried convincing her again but she said okay fine but atleast go and give the exam because if not this time then you will clear it next time for sure. [Mistake 6- I thought I'll clear it next time for sure and this time i'll give it to have a feel- And please no one has to judge my mother, she's the best mother and she trusted her child that's why advised me this]
Exam Day: Went with under confidence and lots of stress and past baggages [Mistake 7]
Result: Failed 2018 prelims miserably.
2nd attempt: Did not bother to analyse 2018 paper even after few days.[Mistake 1] Did not even bother to take a break for few days.[Mistake 2]Directly started watching infinite number of toppers interviews, strategy videos, motivations etc. Started searching for best test series, best classes (yeah again, see), best this, best that and what not.[Mistake 3]Ended up joining so many modules and test series, downloading infinite number of pdfs from internet, but, didn't bother to join any optional/ethics/essay module and didn't even bother to study those (though in my first attempt's classes ethics and essay were covered but they didn't cover whole syllabus, and in my first attempt i bought optional notes but didn't get the time to read those even once )[Mistake 4]. In this attempt also i didn't focus on gs mains, essay and optional at all despite joining few gs modules and didn't do any answer writing, didn't write a single test despite joining test series [Mistake 5].In this attempt i did not read newspaper daily and didn't read any monthly magazine also[Mistake 6]. I read all the basic books properly except complete history, culture, (because of my fear of history) and environment (because i thought i don't need any basic knowledge for environment and only current would be enough) [Mistake 7]. I did solve previous year questions diligently and but didn't analyse them properly [Mistake 8]. I read Current PTs (not all but important ones like ir, polity, env, s&t) but because i didn't read newspaper so i thought of doing 2 institutes PTs which was a terrible idea because in the end i couldn't even revise one properly [Mistake 9]. I did not solve pre test series despite joining it [Mistake 10]. I could not revise all the static subjects also properly [Mistake 11]. Didn’t bother to focus on csat [Mistake 12].
Exam Day: Went with positive mind but couldn’t sleep the night before the exam because of weird sleep cycle I had during preparation days[Mistake 13]
In this attempt I was struggling through infinite number of family issues. Everyday seemed like a nightmare, a never ending nightmare. But one thing which helped me keeping my sanity was my Never Give Up attitude. Though whatever has been happening around me was never related to me at all but it was ensured by few people that I should be the one who has to feel guilty about this, I should be the one who has to feel the pain, I should be the one who shouldn’t be allowed to show my pain because of course that would be an excuse for not studying. If I would try to express my frustration then they would be like that people who live in the most noisiest surroundings and disoriented families also clear the exam you are just making an excuse. I had lost track of my days and nights, my sleeping habits, my health everything 2 months before the exam because I was somehow trying to study whenever there was peace, whenever I was not being constantly watched (because a certain someone in my family always used to think that how can parents believe her to study only when she’s alone in her room, maybe she’s watching movies, maybe she’s reading novels, maybe she has a boyfriend. That person always used to think that despite her failing in 1st prelims why she’s not being mentally tortured by her parents). It was made sure that I should be tortured every single day, I should be taunted or scolded and my parents also should be taunted because I was studying late nights and sleeping in the day and spoiling my health (because of course according to few people only physical health matters and there’s nothing called as mental health), I’m not talking to my family much etc. To summarise it, I had to account for my every breath. But I have very good friends and supportive parents. Though I couldn’t interact much with my parents without being overheard. But I used to hide and talk to my best friends and they were my constant support. But my most important companion was I myself. I have been tested to limits unknown, my self respect, my character was blown to pieces but it was known by everyone that I value life a lot and I never for once tried to give up on it. But I couldn’t give my 100% and I take full responsibility of my failure.
Result: Failed in 2019 CSAT in quantitative terms, by 1 mark only. But in qualitative terms, by around 25 marks. (Though we have to score 66 only in this paper but still we can not go to the exam hall keeping 66 as the cutoff in my mind, we have to keep at least 90 marks as our target to be at peace after the exam)
Failed to clear general cut off in paper 1 (though cleared my ph category cut off but that was not my aim in the first place)
3rd attempt : This time I corrected Mistake 1,2,7,8,11 to a great extent. And mistake 4,5,9(to some extent but not completely). I repeated mistake 3,6,10. In this attempt I partially covered mains portions but nothing completely completely, no answer writing done. The huge mistakes I did in this attempt were not solving mocks again, and not revising PTs properly. I did focus on csat but I still felt something was lacking which again showed in the result. In this attempt I tried to conquer my fear of history and read the old ncert for modern and new certs for all portions of history and culture but I think I did not revise them properly.
Exam Day: Went with positive mind and confidence but couldn’t sleep the night before the exam because of weird sleep cycle I had during preparation days
In this attempt again the never ending torture continued and it became worse because of corona situation which lead to more disturbances in the house. And a week before the exam a big drama happened which shook me to core but I still kept going even though I was constantly disturbed because of it. I again take full responsibility of my failure.
Result: Official marks not yet announced for 2020 prelims. But, I for sure know that I failed in csat again. And in paper 1 in general cut off for sure I failed again.
4th attempt 2021:
The never ending torture continued but, in this February I got a chance to shift to my relative’s place who moved out of country. Though shifting here was not smooth because there was lots of drama again. And after shifting my mother fell ill, I too fell ill many times (not covid). I have recovered. But my mother is still not well but nothing serious but she had to move back home.
In this attempt I have decided to go for other exams as well but I’m not giving up on cse. But before moving onto something else I want to give my 100% to this pre in these last 40 days.
I still haven’t done optional, answer writing and gs mains completely. Was again not regular with newspapers. Doing PTs now. But have covered all the static subjects and pyqs properly. Will give few mocks in September. I’m also doing csat seriously.
I know most of you might be thinking that most probably I’ll fail in this prelims as well because I’ve resumed prelims preparation very late. But still I’ll try to give my 100% to this pre.
Summary : I know most of you don’t have time to read this whole write up, so I want summarise it for you by giving you an important message. Don’t ever let anybody get into your head, I did this and didn’t give my 100% to the past 7-8 years of my life (my btech and my last 3 attempts as well as most of the preparatory phase of this attempt), though I’ve introspected and improved a lot since moving out this Feb. You and only you are responsible for what is, was and will happen to your life, take full responsibility. You can not change people and situations but you can mould yourself according to the situation and make everything work in your favour and if it’s not possible then detach or move out etc. Don’t let failure affect you too much, accept it, learn from it and move to the next step of success. I have accepted that I am, was and will always be judged by people even after I succeed because according to them everything I have achieved is because I belong to a certain category. And I am also judged by people, my co aspirants, when I take my cut off for prelims as general cut off. According to few I’m trying to show off, according to few others I’m taking unnecessary burden. But this is a special concession given to uplift people like me, and give that equal status in society, it isn’t there to stop us from giving our 100% percent. People think and say so many bitter things but I’m not here to prove a point to anyone. I and people close to me know what I think.
No matter what happens. Never Give Up on your goals.
Summary of Prelims Mistakes:
- Not revising properly
- Not focusing on Csat
- Not reading newspapers regularly
- Not solving mocks
- Bad sleep Cycle due to which didn’t sleep properly the night before pre
- Unnecessary focus on pre CA. (One pt per subject is fine)
- Not integrating Static, Current and Contemporary portions of a topic while revision.
- Downloading n number of materials from internet and joining n number of courses and test series and not following them properly.
- Letting external factors affect me (Most important reason for my failure)
I am no knight. Do not call me Sir|Philosophy behind ForumIAS
1. Attempting less questions because I was afraid of getting some wrong. Did barely 81 questions and scored 90 marks.
Know your sweet spot, based on your accuracy and confidence.
2. Didn't sleep too well before the big day, was very sleepy even after drinking 2 red bulls, and one snickers. Did not attempt 2 very easy questions, and did 2 incorrectly because my concentration level had dropped down by the end of the session.
Sleep well before the exam. In fact make sure your schedule is perfected so that you hit your peak mental capacity at 9:30-11:30am.
3. 2nd attempt, I was successful at clearing the prelims. The first 10-20 questions in my set were very factual, and difficult agriculture type questions. I almost gave up midway, but then decided to throw a hail mary and stopped worrying about the consequences. Ab jo bhi hoga, dekha jaayega, khul ke khelo.
Flipped around my paper, and started reading from q100. Thank the heavens, it was basically easy polity questions, which gave me enough momentum to attempt the other questions.
Don't lose confidence midway through the paper. If you feel overwhelmed, just go to the washroom, wash your face and get back.
I have seen that external factors like the bench is not proper ( Last year, I got to sit on a chair with very short table which kids use) , or say invigilator whispering/ talking very loud have been very irritating . The attempts in which I could not clear prelims , made me think in the exam hall that these factors are ruining my chances of clearing. But some how makes me feel ,that lack of systematic preparation makes us vulnerable to get distracted by these things which are not in our control.
When I had cleared prelims with comfortably good score, mostly such things did not matter much.
Staying as calm as possible helps .
I got an email from a member, who did not want to disclose his/her identity and yet wanted to contribute.
Here it is
I have failed all 3 Prelims (2018,2019,2020) which I wrote.
Background : Have been a so called topper during school days. Got into decent college. Basically, my downfall started from there. After getting into college I started having inferiority complex because, almost everyone who came there was a topper in school and most of them had better jee performance than me. I used to get taunts for my achievements as well my failure whole life by society as well as few family members but i never let them affect me because i was so naive to think that educated and broad minded people from the college where i'm going won't be like that but one incident which happened during 1st semester's interaction with one senior changed my whole life and, I believe i'm yet to get out of that zone completely though I have made quite a progress. And I passed out of college as one of the last rankers of my stream in my final year.
Now coming to my UPSC attempts
1st attempt:
Attended all the classes diligently and made proper notes and tried to revise them daily but didn't touch them after that [Mistake 1], [might have missed only 1-2 classes which i felt weren't useful at all and skipped entire Biology module because I felt sleepy in the first class itself]. So, I didn't re revise my notes and since classes ended less than 2 months before prelims i couldn't finish all the reference books also properly [Mistake 2]. Current affairs I barely touched and revised [Mistake 3], though i used to read newspaper daily till 2 months before prelims. Did look at some Previous Year Papers superficially without any proper analysis. [Mistake 4]. Didn't practice a single Mock [Mistake 5]. I knew I won't clear the exam but still somehow pushed myself after looking at the sacrifices my mother was doing for me. I finally gathered the courage to tell her the night before the exam that i don't think i'll clear it because i haven't given my 100%. But she said i trust you, it's the exam fear only otherwise you are prepared i have seen you this whole year you didn't even skip classes, you studied daily etc. But i tried convincing her again but she said okay fine but atleast go and give the exam because if not this time then you will clear it next time for sure. [Mistake 6- I thought I'll clear it next time for sure and this time i'll give it to have a feel- And please no one has to judge my mother, she's the best mother and she trusted her child that's why advised me this]
Exam Day: Went with under confidence and lots of stress and past baggages [Mistake 7]
Result: Failed 2018 prelims miserably.
2nd attempt: Did not bother to analyse 2018 paper even after few days.[Mistake 1] Did not even bother to take a break for few days.[Mistake 2]Directly started watching infinite number of toppers interviews, strategy videos, motivations etc. Started searching for best test series, best classes (yeah again, see), best this, best that and what not.[Mistake 3]Ended up joining so many modules and test series, downloading infinite number of pdfs from internet, but, didn't bother to join any optional/ethics/essay module and didn't even bother to study those (though in my first attempt's classes ethics and essay were covered but they didn't cover whole syllabus, and in my first attempt i bought optional notes but didn't get the time to read those even once )[Mistake 4]. In this attempt also i didn't focus on gs mains, essay and optional at all despite joining few gs modules and didn't do any answer writing, didn't write a single test despite joining test series [Mistake 5].In this attempt i did not read newspaper daily and didn't read any monthly magazine also[Mistake 6]. I read all the basic books properly except complete history, culture, (because of my fear of history) and environment (because i thought i don't need any basic knowledge for environment and only current would be enough) [Mistake 7]. I did solve previous year questions diligently and but didn't analyse them properly [Mistake 8]. I read Current PTs (not all but important ones like ir, polity, env, s&t) but because i didn't read newspaper so i thought of doing 2 institutes PTs which was a terrible idea because in the end i couldn't even revise one properly [Mistake 9]. I did not solve pre test series despite joining it [Mistake 10]. I could not revise all the static subjects also properly [Mistake 11]. Didn’t bother to focus on csat [Mistake 12].
Exam Day: Went with positive mind but couldn’t sleep the night before the exam because of weird sleep cycle I had during preparation days[Mistake 13]
In this attempt I was struggling through infinite number of family issues. Everyday seemed like a nightmare, a never ending nightmare. But one thing which helped me keeping my sanity was my Never Give Up attitude. Though whatever has been happening around me was never related to me at all but it was ensured by few people that I should be the one who has to feel guilty about this, I should be the one who has to feel the pain, I should be the one who shouldn’t be allowed to show my pain because of course that would be an excuse for not studying. If I would try to express my frustration then they would be like that people who live in the most noisiest surroundings and disoriented families also clear the exam you are just making an excuse. I had lost track of my days and nights, my sleeping habits, my health everything 2 months before the exam because I was somehow trying to study whenever there was peace, whenever I was not being constantly watched (because a certain someone in my family always used to think that how can parents believe her to study only when she’s alone in her room, maybe she’s watching movies, maybe she’s reading novels, maybe she has a boyfriend. That person always used to think that despite her failing in 1st prelims why she’s not being mentally tortured by her parents). It was made sure that I should be tortured every single day, I should be taunted or scolded and my parents also should be taunted because I was studying late nights and sleeping in the day and spoiling my health (because of course according to few people only physical health matters and there’s nothing called as mental health), I’m not talking to my family much etc. To summarise it, I had to account for my every breath. But I have very good friends and supportive parents. Though I couldn’t interact much with my parents without being overheard. But I used to hide and talk to my best friends and they were my constant support. But my most important companion was I myself. I have been tested to limits unknown, my self respect, my character was blown to pieces but it was known by everyone that I value life a lot and I never for once tried to give up on it. But I couldn’t give my 100% and I take full responsibility of my failure.
Result: Failed in 2019 CSAT in quantitative terms, by 1 mark only. But in qualitative terms, by around 25 marks. (Though we have to score 66 only in this paper but still we can not go to the exam hall keeping 66 as the cutoff in my mind, we have to keep at least 90 marks as our target to be at peace after the exam)
Failed to clear general cut off in paper 1 (though cleared my ph category cut off but that was not my aim in the first place)
3rd attempt : This time I corrected Mistake 1,2,7,8,11 to a great extent. And mistake 4,5,9(to some extent but not completely). I repeated mistake 3,6,10. In this attempt I partially covered mains portions but nothing completely completely, no answer writing done. The huge mistakes I did in this attempt were not solving mocks again, and not revising PTs properly. I did focus on csat but I still felt something was lacking which again showed in the result. In this attempt I tried to conquer my fear of history and read the old ncert for modern and new certs for all portions of history and culture but I think I did not revise them properly.
Exam Day: Went with positive mind and confidence but couldn’t sleep the night before the exam because of weird sleep cycle I had during preparation days
In this attempt again the never ending torture continued and it became worse because of corona situation which lead to more disturbances in the house. And a week before the exam a big drama happened which shook me to core but I still kept going even though I was constantly disturbed because of it. I again take full responsibility of my failure.
Result: Official marks not yet announced for 2020 prelims. But, I for sure know that I failed in csat again. And in paper 1 in general cut off for sure I failed again.
4th attempt 2021:
The never ending torture continued but, in this February I got a chance to shift to my relative’s place who moved out of country. Though shifting here was not smooth because there was lots of drama again. And after shifting my mother fell ill, I too fell ill many times (not covid). I have recovered. But my mother is still not well but nothing serious but she had to move back home.
In this attempt I have decided to go for other exams as well but I’m not giving up on cse. But before moving onto something else I want to give my 100% to this pre in these last 40 days.
I still haven’t done optional, answer writing and gs mains completely. Was again not regular with newspapers. Doing PTs now. But have covered all the static subjects and pyqs properly. Will give few mocks in September. I’m also doing csat seriously.
I know most of you might be thinking that most probably I’ll fail in this prelims as well because I’ve resumed prelims preparation very late. But still I’ll try to give my 100% to this pre.
Summary : I know most of you don’t have time to read this whole write up, so I want summarise it for you by giving you an important message. Don’t ever let anybody get into your head, I did this and didn’t give my 100% to the past 7-8 years of my life (my btech and my last 3 attempts as well as most of the preparatory phase of this attempt), though I’ve introspected and improved a lot since moving out this Feb. You and only you are responsible for what is, was and will happen to your life, take full responsibility. You can not change people and situations but you can mould yourself according to the situation and make everything work in your favour and if it’s not possible then detach or move out etc. Don’t let failure affect you too much, accept it, learn from it and move to the next step of success. I have accepted that I am, was and will always be judged by people even after I succeed because according to them everything I have achieved is because I belong to a certain category. And I am also judged by people, my co aspirants, when I take my cut off for prelims as general cut off. According to few I’m trying to show off, according to few others I’m taking unnecessary burden. But this is a special concession given to uplift people like me, and give that equal status in society, it isn’t there to stop us from giving our 100% percent. People think and say so many bitter things but I’m not here to prove a point to anyone. I and people close to me know what I think.
No matter what happens. Never Give Up on your goals.
Summary of Prelims Mistakes:
- Not revising properly
- Not focusing on Csat
- Not reading newspapers regularly
- Not solving mocks
- Bad sleep Cycle due to which didn’t sleep properly the night before pre
- Unnecessary focus on pre CA. (One pt per subject is fine)
- Not integrating Static, Current and Contemporary portions of a topic while revision.
- Downloading n number of materials from internet and joining n number of courses and test series and not following them properly.
- Letting external factors affect me (Most important reason for my failure)
And here I thought my problems were the biggest!
Whoever this person is, more power to you friend!
Don't know whether this is the appropriate thread, but feel like sharing.
Spoke to my father after a very long time, he gave me a piece of gyaan.
Success in life has always been a game of approximation than perfection. If everyone is putting in sincere hardwork, the odds of success always favour the one's who pursue approximation and not perfection.
After clearing prelims in 2019 (first attempt) got complacent with the prelims in 2020 (didn't do static part thoroughly and ignored fundamentals. Ended up making blunder errors in polity and ecology leading to a debacle and one full year going to waste. Taking no prisoners this time.
Thats one thing common to each stage. Be complacent about Paper 2 of your optional or essay and you will plummet to the bottom. In UPSC nothing becomes fully prepared. You have to begin from zero again. All the time.
I am no knight. Do not call me Sir|Philosophy behind ForumIAS