Dost banana h toh dost dhoondo, sirf preparation mates nahi. You’ll feel less lonely, if you make friends whom you intend to stay in touch with beyond this preparation as well, irrespective of whether you actually end up doing that or not.
@LetsGetThisBread Thankyou, from an anxious introvert who finds it impossible to convey her feelings and starts blithering like an idiot whenever I try. But I will try, starting from this little text. So, thank you.
How is everyone? Preparation going good?
How is everyone? Preparation going good?
Whim and impulse have taken control of the ship. I tried to placate them by taking help of senecaji but to no avail. Like a bunch of stubborn bratty child, they even taunted me trying to bait me into giving them a good thrashing. But i realised the more i try to be controlling and overbearing the more their defiance grows. So, for now i am waiting it out, hoping they get tired and go to sleep ,like all children do, and i may have my peace of mind back and i may get down to do some serious work XD
How is it going over there 😅
तमाम कामकाज केबीच मैं तो भूल ही गया थाकि मरना भी है..लापरवाहीमें उस कर्त्तव्य से कतराता रहाया निबाहा भीतो जैसे तैसे।अब कल सेरवैया बिल्कुल फ़र्क़ होगा;बहुत ही सँभल सँभल कर मरना शुरू करूँगाबुद्धिमत्ता से खुशी खुशीबिना समय बरबाद किए।
Dhanywad Dost..
Apke sher, Shayari, poem hamesha relatable hote hai aur and thanks for reply. 🙏
Arz kiya hai.. Ha hum bhi insan, hai ek din hme bhi marna hai..
Ha hum bhi insan, hai ek din hme bhi marna hai.
Lekin Ishq, mohabbat, pyar, gila shiqwa, dhoka, gum, ansu ye sab hme bhi to krna Hai.
@Ghostwalker I've lost many friends during the course of preparation and because of not staying in touch, rather not having a phone and I know how lonely it gets. I guess most of us are lonely in this preparation and that's why we have this thread. To relate to each other and help each other out.
"Sigma" male ka toh nahi pata, male friends log ispe prakaash daalenge XD
But yes you have to accept the emotions, the turmoil and the loneliness this journey brings. Talk to someone, let it all out and then work towards your goal again. I know it is easier said than done but we all at least have one friend who is close to us. Rant to them, eat their head. I'm sure if they are close, they won't mind.
Trust me, if you let it out, half of your crisis is solved.
Friends nahi hain toh find someone on the thread. PM them. If they're willing to hear you out talk to them.
As alluring as solitude might sound or look to be, we as humans are social creatures and have a natural inclination towards socialising. So selective socialising karo. If you're in Delhi, try and meet people from this thread/community who are looking for that camaraderie. Maybe you end up finding gems. People who've been here have an amazing bond.@Rashmirathi @LetsGetThisBread would agree. You can surely find your own lot too!
Padhai pe gyaan nahi dungi because mujhse way worthy log hain yaha who can guide you regarding prep but I'll quote H.W. Longfellow in an attempt to boost your spirits:
"We have not wings, we cannot soar;But we have feet to scale and climbBy slow degrees, by more and more,The cloudy summits of our time."
Thanks you 🙏
For your suggestion I will try my best to end this turmoil as soon as possible, so it will not hamper me in the future.
And your sense of humour is too good. On the thread. :p
Showing signs of recovery now, biggest being Ive again started daydreaming again and I am loving it. From going to Venice after selection with family to holidaying at taj lake palace with my crush to giving toppers talk at vision ias, my life and dreams are getting back on track! God being kinder on me :)
Went out for a walk just now however I was so weak that I could barely walk for 10 minutes, but considering my condition few days ago thats a good number too!
@Ghostwalker I puke my emotions on this thread, talk to my closest friends and it works.
Thanks bro. 🙏
Daydreaming is something which gives up hope and energy to do more and help to move one step ahead..i will inculcate it in my list too.
Praying for my lord for your good health and more power to you ✨
"Dost banana h toh dost dhoondo, sirf preparation mates nahi. You’ll feel less lonely, if you make friends whom you intend to stay in touch with beyond this preparation as well, irrespective of whether you actually end up doing that or not."
Lines to remember @LetsGetThisBread , also pretty hard to do at least for me.
@Ghostwalker There are already such good advices on this thread. Would just like to just add , Sometimes Acceptance is the way forward.
“Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final” – Rainer Maria Rilke
Thanks bhai.. 🙏 I'm ready to accept that whatever happened, there is always something good hidden in it.
But that moment when it happens it's so brutal that we don't want to accept it.
Hy!The basic nature of human being is to avoid pain. This preparation is full of ups, downs and is indeed painful. There are no short term gains in this preparation. Either a '0' or '1' game.The things which you did like leaving social media etc. are necessary. Make sure you improvise your strategy and take right decisions (I am also trying this). Embarce pain because it is ok to sustain at this time rather than struggling in your 40s.Sigma male etc. videos opiumate the mind momentarily. I would suggest rather read self help books because they will help in bringing change in you rather than mere dopamine spike.In words of Dr Ambedkar- Follow the path of righteousness no matter how painful it is.Hope it helps.
Thanks bro🙏
Recently I bought atomic habits hopping for it will finish in this month. Reading in break now.. And yes this is only 0/1 game..
बिछड़ गए तो ये दिल उम्र भर लगेगा नहीं
लगेगा लगने लगा है मगर लगेगा नहीं
नहीं लगेगा उसे देख कर मगर ख़ुश है
मैं ख़ुश नहीं हूं मगर देख कर लगेगा नहीं
..Ghostwalker is currently going through emotional crisis..
Jabse preparation start kia tabse khud ko socially disconnects kar dia. Yha tak ki sim hi change kar dia, abtak social media pe login bhi nahi kia. Nye Dost banaye preparation me
Lekin dost ka clear nahi hua aur unhone preparation leave krke aage nikal gaye.. Maine khud ko samjhaye rakha.
Sigma male ki video dekh dekh ke stay strong aur stay alone krte rha.. Phir achanak mahsoos hota hai, aap kamjor ho rahe hai Aap akela ho rahe hai..
Aap bahut kuch bolna, kahna aur sunna chahte hai but koi sunne wala hi nahi hai..
Tabhi achanak koi Full moon ki tarah aata hai. Aur charo taraf roshni kar deta hai. Aur jabtak aap sochte hai ki kya ye sach hai. Tabtak Phir Amavsya ki kali rate Aa jati hai Aur shayad vo bhi chla jata hai..
AUR Phir se vahi routine wahi kam aur wahi schedule wahi drama aap apne charo taraf pate hai..
Kabtak keyboard par emotions nikalte RHOGE samajh hi ni aata..
Agar koi advice ho to do dosto..
Mai is situation se niklana chahta hu..
Phir se Sigma male bnna chahta hu..
@unacheivednirvana @LetsGetThisBread
@D503 @Morticia @ koi bhi jo bhi padh raha hai..
Abhi mujhe itne hi tag yad Aa rhe hai..
10:40 pm
Monday
(109) 12/9/22
Tbh I get you and exactly what you’re going through. Losing old contacts is honestly part and parcel of this process, i doubt there’s anyone who doesn’t do so. But losing old friends is also part and parcel of life and not just unique to this process. You get a new job, you move cities, you get busy, make your life, and soon enough you’ll find that your other friends are doing the same as well and living their lives as well. And the next thing you know, you go from meeting every day, to meeting every few weeks, to months, to finally catching up on your 15 year school get together. The point is, everyone gets busy with their lives, no matter how much they promise that they will keep in touch. Just take a look at our own parents, how often do they “hang out” with their friends, do you think they didn’t promise their college friends that they would keep in touch, or write letters.
Losing friends, being alone is ultimately what everyone is destined for (no, I’m not being existential right now, just realistic… akele aaye h aur akele jayenge kind of truism). Having said that, we are never truly alone, look around you there’s so much potential for company at any given second, and minute of your existence. India m aabadi hi itni h ki log har jagah, chaaron taraf mil jayenge. Throughout this process, I felt I could no longer relate to my older friends, so much so that I too cut off from them, but I kept in touch with the ones that mattered. When I felt that I needed a group who could get the nuances of what I was going through, I came to Forum and honestly found some of the best people here. Dost banana h toh dost dhoondo, sirf preparation mates nahi. You’ll feel less lonely, if you make friends whom you intend to stay in touch with beyond this preparation as well, irrespective of whether you actually end up doing that or not.
Log aate jaate rahenge, but agar significant tareeke se engage karoge toh unki acchi yaadein aur di hui seekh reh jaayegi.
Thanks Bread🙏
You know what, you're helping me second time when I was in deep grief, pain and anger. I am always indebted to you. I don't know why but I found you sound like most matured and understandable person here.
And your line friend dhoondhna hai......
Goes straight to my mind and heart both at the same time.
And I tired my best to engage people in more professional way..
Thank you so much again dost.. ✨
So went to the college to have my first class of the last year. Was a messed up day with distractions and mis-happenings until I reached the college and attended the class of Jurisprudence.
Shubh Ratri doston!
@Naadan_Parinda Hauser Tech 5.
..Ghostwalker is currently going through emotional crisis..
Jabse preparation start kia tabse khud ko socially disconnects kar dia. Yha tak ki sim hi change kar dia, abtak social media pe login bhi nahi kia. Nye Dost banaye preparation me
Lekin dost ka clear nahi hua aur unhone preparation leave krke aage nikal gaye.. Maine khud ko samjhaye rakha.
Sigma male ki video dekh dekh ke stay strong aur stay alone krte rha.. Phir achanak mahsoos hota hai, aap kamjor ho rahe hai Aap akela ho rahe hai..
Aap bahut kuch bolna, kahna aur sunna chahte hai but koi sunne wala hi nahi hai..
Tabhi achanak koi Full moon ki tarah aata hai. Aur charo taraf roshni kar deta hai. Aur jabtak aap sochte hai ki kya ye sach hai. Tabtak Phir Amavsya ki kali rate Aa jati hai Aur shayad vo bhi chla jata hai..
AUR Phir se vahi routine wahi kam aur wahi schedule wahi drama aap apne charo taraf pate hai..
Kabtak keyboard par emotions nikalte RHOGE samajh hi ni aata..
Agar koi advice ho to do dosto..
Mai is situation se niklana chahta hu..
Phir se Sigma male bnna chahta hu..
@unacheivednirvana @LetsGetThisBread
@D503 @Morticia @ koi bhi jo bhi padh raha hai..
Abhi mujhe itne hi tag yad Aa rhe hai..
10:40 pm
Monday
(109) 12/9/22
Can relate to every single word written here. Being a very talkative person I had been encircled by people all my life but now am alone all lonely. Initially when I started preparing in 2020 it felt good rather amazing that I've no information load. No more post break up consolations! But as I went further it changed. I know I can't get back to my old friends, my own people. I genuinely tried & was completely clueless as to what to talk about. In UPSC circles too, I used a lot of filters( too judgmental, I believe) & ended up as a loner again. I absolutely don't want to be alpha again, it has eaten up me from inside.
Read@Tata 's comment about daydreaming & now I realize that I've completely forgotten the speech at UN where I was ripping off west's agendas. I feel I've lost the purpose, the motivation & the goal.
I don't know what to do so am waiting!
Thanks bro. 🙏
Using the filter like ise dost nahi Bnana use dost nahi Bnana end up with only loneliness. This phase of life teaches us alot. But have to move on because we don't have option anymore..
..Ghostwalker is currently going through emotional crisis..
Jabse preparation start kia tabse khud ko socially disconnects kar dia. Yha tak ki sim hi change kar dia, abtak social media pe login bhi nahi kia. Nye Dost banaye preparation me
Lekin dost ka clear nahi hua aur unhone preparation leave krke aage nikal gaye.. Maine khud ko samjhaye rakha.
Sigma male ki video dekh dekh ke stay strong aur stay alone krte rha.. Phir achanak mahsoos hota hai, aap kamjor ho rahe hai Aap akela ho rahe hai..
Aap bahut kuch bolna, kahna aur sunna chahte hai but koi sunne wala hi nahi hai..
Tabhi achanak koi Full moon ki tarah aata hai. Aur charo taraf roshni kar deta hai. Aur jabtak aap sochte hai ki kya ye sach hai. Tabtak Phir Amavsya ki kali rate Aa jati hai Aur shayad vo bhi chla jata hai..
AUR Phir se vahi routine wahi kam aur wahi schedule wahi drama aap apne charo taraf pate hai..
Kabtak keyboard par emotions nikalte RHOGE samajh hi ni aata..
Agar koi advice ho to do dosto..
Mai is situation se niklana chahta hu..
Phir se Sigma male bnna chahta hu..
@unacheivednirvana @LetsGetThisBread
@D503 @Morticia @ koi bhi jo bhi padh raha hai..
Abhi mujhe itne hi tag yad Aa rhe hai..
10:40 pm
Monday
(109) 12/9/22
Sigma, Alpha male concepts are good for entertainment purpose. Maybe being a Sigma in real life is even better. However don't get lost towards toxic masculinity while aspiring to be a Sigma. Introspect what kind of person would you want to be and work towards it. People will keep on moving in and out of your life. It's you, who'll have to make peace with x,y,z number of people.
Loneliness is very subjective and very temporary feeling. One day you are surrounded by people and the next day you aren't. Strong determination, will power and some sort of 'false consciousness' / romanticism i to pull out of it.Finding Beauty in mundane things helps to generate false consciousness and boost our morale. I like@Morticia and@Rashmirathi's way of using sher-o-shayari helps romanticise our everyday mundane life. If one is at their all time low, listening to "Everyday Normal Guy 2 " can help as well.
Since Loneliness like any other feeling be it love, happiness etc are temporary feelings. At the moment I have temporary solutions to them.
Also out of context;
Dr Ambedkar quotes Emerson," Consistency is a virtue of an ass. No thinking human being can be tied down to a view once expressed in the name of consistency. More important than consistency is responsibility. A responsible person must learn to unlearn what he has learned."
Out of context 2" I would rather be a man of paradoxes than a man of prejudices "Rousseau
-- My life updates :
Convocation hai 15th Sept ko (Engineers day) Uske baad your buddy will go on a trip. 18th Tak i'll return and then dhoom dhoom padhai.
Thanks Dancing master 🙏,
Loneliness is really subjective and it a matter of time.. But coping up phase is really a problematic.
Btw
Best of luck for your convocation 💐
..Ghostwalker is currently going through emotional crisis..
Jabse preparation start kia tabse khud ko socially disconnects kar dia. Yha tak ki sim hi change kar dia, abtak social media pe login bhi nahi kia. Nye Dost banaye preparation me
Lekin dost ka clear nahi hua aur unhone preparation leave krke aage nikal gaye.. Maine khud ko samjhaye rakha.
Sigma male ki video dekh dekh ke stay strong aur stay alone krte rha.. Phir achanak mahsoos hota hai, aap kamjor ho rahe hai Aap akela ho rahe hai..
Aap bahut kuch bolna, kahna aur sunna chahte hai but koi sunne wala hi nahi hai..
Tabhi achanak koi Full moon ki tarah aata hai. Aur charo taraf roshni kar deta hai. Aur jabtak aap sochte hai ki kya ye sach hai. Tabtak Phir Amavsya ki kali rate Aa jati hai Aur shayad vo bhi chla jata hai..
AUR Phir se vahi routine wahi kam aur wahi schedule wahi drama aap apne charo taraf pate hai..
Kabtak keyboard par emotions nikalte RHOGE samajh hi ni aata..
Agar koi advice ho to do dosto..
Mai is situation se niklana chahta hu..
Phir se Sigma male bnna chahta hu..
@unacheivednirvana @LetsGetThisBread
@D503 @Morticia @ koi bhi jo bhi padh raha hai..
Abhi mujhe itne hi tag yad Aa rhe hai..
10:40 pm
Monday
We all can relate to you. You can say whatever you want in this thread, We’re all ears.
Remember, this preparation phase is temporary. Preparing in seclusion is the primary or basic rule of this game. You can opt out of this game, whenever you want. You are free. But if you want to be a winner, you have to face this challenge.
If it’s daily routine, and not able to complete the targets, that’s troubling you then try going easy on yourself.
For example, try to wake up early in the morning. Get out for a walk. Divide your day in 4 quarters. Read newspaper and a book of your choice in the first quarter of the day. Breakfast me nayi chijen try karo roj (my new favourite is Jhaal murhi). In the next 2 quarters, study as if you are doing a job. In the last quarter of the day, do what you like. Watch’s movie or TV series. Talk to your family, friends, etc even if you need to visit social media. Or forum is always an option. Koi topic chhed do baatein karne ke liye.
And don’t make your life and routine monotonous. Add mirch masala to your life, and kabhi kabhi chhaunk/ tadka bhi.
Ek jaadu ki jhappi 🤗
Thanks you 🙏
I am trying this in more optimised and phased manner by dividing my days In 3 slot.
And try to make some habbit to make my day interesting.
And lots of thanks for jadu ki jhappi.. 😊
How is everyone? Preparation going good?How is everyone? Preparation going good?Whim and impulse have taken control of the ship. I tried to placate them by taking help of senecaji but to no avail. Like a bunch of stubborn bratty child, they even taunted me trying to bait me into giving them a good thrashing. But i realised the more i try to be controlling and overbearing the more their defiance grows. So, for now i am waiting it out, hoping they get tired and go to sleep ,like all children do, and i may have my peace of mind back and i may get down to do some serious work XD
How is it going over there 😅
Something similar going on with me. Even I am going with the flow. Being out at prelims is such a different feeling. I want to study alot, but somehow just can't.