Civil Services Mains 2020 Results: In or Out ? Way ahead, gratitude and Pain
The Civils Mains result has been declared. This thread is for sharing your grief , joy , mixed feelings - absolutely anything and everything.
what are you guys doing these days? i might sound childish but this whole corona induced uncertainty is driving me insane. was happily preparing for intv. now with dates postponed, dont know how to move ahead. losing all interest in this exam. wish i had a real job and contributed to my family's finances in these crunch times.
last year was horrified to hear stories of suffering. but was certain that with precaution things would pan out fine for me. and they did to an extent. cleared pre and mains. but this 2nd wave is a step into reality. a rude shock. am in delhi. in my very own flat of 8 families, 3 have tested positive this time. family members of friends have passed away. situation is grim. the thought that it could be our turn any moment haunts me every day. aging parents and a dependent son in a corona world. title of a horror movie. cant imagine going through this suffering.
in cities we are accustomed to the idea that value of human life is very insignificant. especially if you are from a working class family. but the pandemic has pushed this notion to different level. bodies being transported like trash. families begging to see the dead, one last time. overcrowded hospitals. its nothing short of an apocalypse. forgive me for painting a cynical and pessimistic picture. but truth must be understood to prepare ourselves for what may be inevitable for some unlucky souls in the coming days.
prep wise, study hours are approaching zero. anxiety at peak. insomnia. trying to reconcile mind to this new reality, a living nightmare, with my aspiration and dream of civil service. havent stepped out in months. still trying to stay positive. lets keep our thoughts and prayers with those families that are losing their bread earners and loved ones. the pain is unimaginable. lets support warriors, civil society, media and all govt functionaries irrespective of ideology in this collective fight for survival. the constant bickering and blame game by parties and media is salt on the wound. we must rise above all this. may god help us all.
You have just described my condition. I could not clear CSE mains 2020 and I know that I have to gear up for CSE 2021, for all stages. But just cannot. this uncertainty has amplified my anxiety disorder and even therapy is not working well for me.
what are you guys doing these days? i might sound childish but this whole corona induced uncertainty is driving me insane. was happily preparing for intv. now with dates postponed, dont know how to move ahead. losing all interest in this exam. wish i had a real job and contributed to my family's finances in these crunch times.
last year was horrified to hear stories of suffering. but was certain that with precaution things would pan out fine for me. and they did to an extent. cleared pre and mains. but this 2nd wave is a step into reality. a rude shock. am in delhi. in my very own flat of 8 families, 3 have tested positive this time. family members of friends have passed away. situation is grim. the thought that it could be our turn any moment haunts me every day. aging parents and a dependent son in a corona world. title of a horror movie. cant imagine going through this suffering.
in cities we are accustomed to the idea that value of human life is very insignificant. especially if you are from a working class family. but the pandemic has pushed this notion to different level. bodies being transported like trash. families begging to see the dead, one last time. overcrowded hospitals. its nothing short of an apocalypse. forgive me for painting a cynical and pessimistic picture. but truth must be understood to prepare ourselves for what may be inevitable for some unlucky souls in the coming days.
prep wise, study hours are approaching zero. anxiety at peak. insomnia. trying to reconcile mind to this new reality, a living nightmare, with my aspiration and dream of civil service. havent stepped out in months. still trying to stay positive. lets keep our thoughts and prayers with those families that are losing their bread earners and loved ones. the pain is unimaginable. lets support warriors, civil society, media and all govt functionaries irrespective of ideology in this collective fight for survival. the constant bickering and blame game by parties and media is salt on the wound. we must rise above all this. may god help us all.
Almost same, almost except mains 2020 not qualified.
Hey friends, these are unprecedented times for everyone. Levels of stress and fear are high for everyone, and exam worries are bound to only make it worse.
If anyone needs someone to talk to, or someone to just listen, about anything, please leave me a message.I think in these scary and weird times, human connection is important for us to feel like ourselves, and too many people are going without. So if you want to talk to a sympathetic stranger, hit me up. :) we'll get through this together.
Thank you for this. This is exactly what we need.
Last week was mentally one of the worst weeks I had ever since I started my preparation. Eveything seemed to pile up. I studied absolute zero, even if I tried to. I just couldn't bring myself to sit and read.
From the outside, things were looking okay. No one in my family was sick. So in addition to the anxiety, I felt guilty and weak for feeling like this particularly when others had it so much worse and were seemingly handling it better. What really helped me out of the void was talking to people, including some kind souls here on forum.
And so, I'd also like to offer my ears to anyone going through the same. I'll listen to your rants. Be it related to your prep, corona or anything else. Don't hesitate to reach out for whatever, even if you feel it's silly and stupid. Or, as was the case with me, if you're feeling anxious, lazy, unmotivated for no particular reason, just hit me up. We'll chill if that's what you want to do. Let's get through this together
Anyone in distress, please feel free to reach out.
Also a humble request - if you know any underprivileged 45+ (society housekeeping, gardners, maids) who have not got vaccinated, please quell their quiries and nudge them to.
I forsee a chaos in innoculation post 1st May, these ppl may be left behind.
(Was confronted of the hypocrisy of gated societies - spending thousands on colouring the buildings, but won't shell out to get the housekeeping and security staff vaccinated)
I have been caught by fever for 10 days now. I also got myself tested and waiting for report. Now my mother has also contracted this fever through me. I didn't even touch books since past week and not even appearing for SFG tests. Can't sit even for 5 minutes. Feels like all the hardwork of past one year is going into vain.
@DHARNA I was in a similar situation last year. Me and my family contracted Covid a month before prelims. I too was stressed about losing valuable time during the last leg of the preparation. In the end, all worked out well. I'm positive it'll work out for you as well. All the hard work you've put in the past one year isn't going to go in vain. Everything you've studied is perfectly sitting in the back of your brain. Don't even stress out about studies right now.
Please take good care of your and your family's health. Take plenty of rest, adequate hydration, get medical intervention if necessary. Rest all will work out just fine.
Thankyou@Celeborn and@whatonly
The sadness and despair around us can put a dent in our mental health. And I do agree sometimes speaking to an absolute stranger can be calming and liberating. Sometimes we can’t just mask up our pain and worries, sometimes we long to be real, sometimes we long to breakdown.
To all those worried about family and friends miles apart or maybe two houses down, checkin and checkup round the clock. I know words can’t help heal tension lines but communication can distract loneliness.
And I am here if anybody wants to let it all out. Don’t be fearful and hesitant about being judged. We are all in the same boat or if not we are paddling in the same murky waters. On my part I will try to be understanding, mirroring, acknowledging you and your thoughts.
Like someone said above, we should do our best to get our near and dear ones vaccinated. The drop in fatality rate of senior citizens is proof that vaccines are our only hope. If possible, cover expenses of your maid, cook, milkman, vegetable vendors etc whoever has the potential to be super spreaders, or encourage them to get vaccinated. Vaccine hesitancy is, unfortunately, real, and it doesn't help that some vested interests are maligning our only hope against this pandemic.
Proud to say my mother took the initiative, covered the costs of vaccination for our maid as well as her husband and gave her a couple of days off to rest. She's also encouraging all her friends to do the same. It is only through a collective effort that we can overcome this disaster.
We'll have the chance to get vaccinated ourselves soon. Meanwhile, wear masks, wash your hands and stay inside as much as possible. We shall overcome!
How many of you will be genuinely happy if paper gets postponed?
I’d prefer it, even though actual difference in preparation would be probably negligible.
Lost 2 weeks to Covid. Completely recovered now, but many of my friends have only now contracted it, and a few others have family members who are in it for the long haul. Prep for them has pretty much derailed. So, yeah, a postponement would help with that.
After a year and a quarter of playing hide and seek, the virus "I Spy"(ed) me. Got my covid test (which was done 3 days ago. are the labs too over-worked in Delhi?) report an hour back. The fever has already subsided (started 4days ago, got a test done on day2 itself).
Meanwhile, some useless relatives are ready with their muft ka gyaan that "jo log zyada precautions lete hai unko toh pakka hi pakdta hai corona." (Those who take a lot of precautions i.e. follow covid appropriate behaviour are sure to catch it). These mindless people are those who played holi with all their josh and excitement with pakke colours, buckets full of water and what not. And guess how do we know it? They put it all over their social media, with the caption holi toh manegi, go corona go. And the shaadi season. They were proudly attending even two weddings a day and giving taunts to us for being too scared. Also, they are the same people who have the same symptoms as ours but are not getting themselves tested. The reason- hume toh pata hai humaare nahi hoga, aur hoga toh bhi bukhar ka hi ilaaj toh karna hoga. (we know that we won't get it, even if we get it, we will have to treat the fever only ).
But anyhow it's not about ranting about those useless people. It's just to confirm that am I the only one who knows such people or are they common now? Also, thanks to covid appropriate behaviour that we followed, the viral load is low and symptoms have already started subsiding. Would consult a doctor with the reports too to see if any change in the course of treatment is required. So guys if you any such useless people don't take any free advise from them and follow covid appropriate behaviour and doctor's guidelines.
My productivity has been negative for the last 4 days, just read the newspapers only. Also, the preceding week was a very low productivity one. Now I really feel guilty for wasting the time while I was still productive.
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