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Kudos to you.
I have given up on PCS mains. Focusing on prelims only.
I could not do both simultaneously. Will be just giving the mains exam for namesake purpose only.
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@Sadhika if possible can you list out the blunders
Let me try to frame it:
#To everyone's surprise I jumped into this in August 2018. Working on the way. I know things atleast a little better now, as I like to believe.
First attempt, first mains and horrors therein:
1. I studied optional without any approach to answer writing. I thought writing GS answers was enough. I had enough knowledge to write atleast average answers, I knew most of the questions, but i couldn't write those in a structured manner. I wrote unidirectional, incomplete, below average answers in a subject like Geography. I only accumulated knowledge and didn't reproduced those learnings in the answer sheet. Also, couldn't attempt 2 subparts.
2. Always struggled to finish paper right from test series to exams. Was not able to bridge those extra 10 minutes. Wrote horrible answers in last 3 questions on average.
3. I only studied things like ARC reports, NITI Aayog strategy document, Best Practices, data, Mains 365, etc taking for granted that I will be able to write them in the paper. Couldn't write most of them as I had not written them multiple times before exams.
4. I had suboptimal content for like 35% of the syllabus.
5. Scattered and incomplete notes.
6. For 1 month I was waiting for mains result and did only GS1(1/2) in that crucial time.
7. The amount of optimism I had for prelims faded during mains preparation. I was overwhelmed that I don't know enough, haven't practiced enough, that my optional is so tough and I don't understand it, that I have lost even before actually fighting, that I have wasted such a good opportunity even before actually wasting it.
8. I had/have little faith in coaching programs/Panch varshiya yojna. So didn't join any except for test series. Don't know if it will be disastrous/other bad things. (These views are subject to change in light of emerging plans/needs). So I didn't had any person in real life to guide about anything.
The above was a recipe for a disaster.
Little good things:
1. Was able to write 77/80 answers in GS.
2. I wasn't afraid of Geography anymore.
3. If I am one of the lowest scorer in mains 2019, I can always show before and after mark sheet. With huge base for improvement. Those % change numbers will be beautiful. :D
Essentially, just trying to be more honest in my efforts and willing to learn, unlearn, relearn about everything in life, wherever it takes me.
15/10
1. Went on an online shopping spree. That time of the year is here.
2. Made notes on 2 topics of GS1.
3. Feeling exhausted from last 2-3 days due to fever. So slept for like 14 hrs. Yes, that is possible.
Though never bothered on clocking more hours but this is like really less given the amount of work.
Brain is like:
So, the schedule begins to get that flow
16/10
1) GS 1.7 to 1.10
2) Geography: topics correlated with 1) - Highlights from Majid Hussain+ Khullar
3) GS4 8.3 to 8.6 + GS2.16 (similar topics)
4) Answer writing: 3 GS+ 2 Geography
5) Vision August CA: topics from above themes.
6) Yoga- Parents feel my brain will damage if I won't. So yeah why not.
As Trump would say, "Believe me, its gonna be huge(yuge?)" :P
So, a little good news: after torturous 2 weeks with the Covid 19 finally I have tested -ve today.
Haven't touched or thought about studies in a while. But now as the results are also here. Time to start again, albeit slowly.
24/10:
1) Population Geography
2) Society from Vision monthlies
Answer writing will have to wait for other days.
Also, Ashtami is here so prayers to the mother goddess:
या देवी सर्वभूतेषु मातृ-रूपेण संस्थिता।
नमस्तस्यै नमस्तस्यै नमस्तस्यै नमो नमः॥
@sadhika since you did test series at Shabir sir
Do you think that it os enough for content enrichment
Yes, in some ways if our base is strong with reference books, notes. It can always be value added through CA or some geography specific magazine (only if there is time). Rest, I would be in a better position to comment only after writing the papers.
याचना नहीं, अब रण होगा :)
याचना नहीं, अब रण होगा,
जीवन-जय या कि मरण होगा।
'टकरायेंगे नक्षत्र-निकर,
बरसेगी भू पर वह्नि प्रखर,
फण शेषनाग का डोलेगा,
विकराल काल मुँह खोलेगा।
दुर्योधन! रण ऐसा होगा।
फिर कभी नहीं जैसा होगा।
P.s. could'nt scroll by my favorite poem without commenting. :D
28/10
1. Economic Geography
2. GS - PI+ WH (Revision)
3. Ethics- Probity
4. CA- Society
5. GS 1 Answers
Back to my old sleep cycle. Good Morning 🌞
@HotBloodPrince At least you know it's a Wednesday some of us don't. 😂
Help me, Help you to build a community of 'enthu cutlet'
What would be most aspirants doing out there?
Slacking off. Procrastinating. Sleeping.
What shall 'YOU' be doing?
REVISING
Solving MOCKS
Working on your WEAK areas
Plugging your LOOPHOLEs
SOLIDIFYING your preparation
How would 'WE' do that?
BY STUDYING together.
WHY STUDY together?
Social ACCOUNTABILITY. We both are accountable to each other. JoinStudyGang(google the website) for 50 mins intense study with your friends.
@HotBloodPrince join the gang already! 😛
The last 50 days have been turbulent and draining emotionally, mentally and physically. The work (productive work) of last 7 weeks could be condensed in 1 week. I don't know if I stand any chance. I don't know if being hopeful could alter things now. I don't know if I can put up a worthy effort in next 6 weeks. I don't know if the future could be changed by present. If this preparation is a 100 metres race and people are already near the finishing line, let me tell you I have not even crossed the starting line. Now, I feel should I even run. A moment of existential crisis, this. The head is full of self critical thoughts longing for what could have been. What hurts the most is you know that it is you yourself who never worked to your potential. Do I even try, ever. Do I even start? John Bingham says, "The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start." Maybe I should stop thinking, now. I will have to see it through. I will have to run to find out. A quest to know if one can really change the dreaded future of not finding roll number in the Mains selected candidates list again, consecutive years. Do I feel hopeful, determined, confident now ? No. Do I know enough to write 9 papers now? No. Now, I will not think I will do whatever I can. I will run and see it through. I will update where I am.
P.S. Apologies for undiluted emotional outburst. Generally, I am better than this. :)
same feeling. had emotional breakdown 2 days ago and diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety disorder.
may be I'm not worth it. If I can't handle this pressure this means I'm not meant for it.
Hii! Take care of yourself. I may not understand the intensity of stress you are going through but I do wish you feel better soon. You will.
As for worth is concerned we are too ignorant and limited as of now to measure our own significance. And whether we are meant for it. For that we can work it out and see it through. What is stopping us anyway, if not we ourselves? Do well. I know we will. :)
