So happy for you. Having secured a job only recently myself i can kinda relate with your experience sommuch more. The feeling that comes when you aren't answerable to anyone for making your decisions is so liberating and satisfying. Living under the shadow of a gurdian is crushing no matter how supportive they are. I would venture to say that it is not only stifling for your personal growth but also detrimental to mental peace. The subconscious guilt associated with living the life of an economic parasite is enough to give neurosis to anyone.
But ,theres a flipside to it as well particularly when you are an aspirant. A regular job might end up acting as an irresistible blanket of comfort you don't want to get out of to do the hard labour of walking the lonely frigid road towards your goal. It might completely change your worldview. You might start questioning if upsc is even worth the sacrifice and effort you have made. You start to reasses your priorities..you start finding comfort in simple things in life. And that's the natural corollary when you starve yourself of even the normal mundane experiences of life for a prolonged period during prep phase. So after becoming financially secure you might find yourself lacking in determination of a warrior fighting for his life. You might even call this a gratification trap wherein for short term pleasures you end up compromising on your long held dream.
And that's the predicament most people who have been successful in reaching various stages of the exam find themselves in when they secure a backup...Barring the few who end up finding a new passion and making a quite successful career and money out of it.
I know i sound full of contradictions but these are the thoughts my mind keep dwelling upon and swinging between every now and then
Being someone who started this journey with full time job, I totally agree with you. With job, it is hard to work on your shortcomings which require meticulous planning and execution. Preparation mostly happen only near the exam. I find myself working under shadows of my comfort zone for whole year. Even when during decisive phases like few days before prelims or mains or even that 5 days gap between GS and optional, it is hard to give your best because you don't have practice.
However, things w.r.t job that help are a) not being answerable to others (as you pointed out) b) we fulfill our social responsibility. Our failure not have disastrous impact on others. If we succeed, it is awesome. If we don't, people dependent on us will not have to suffer because we did clear UPSC due to not studying on our part (biggest reason) or infinite other reasons.
