Mains 2021 Post result Thread: What went wrong and way forward.
The thread will be a one stop place to discuss the probable things that went wrong in mains exam and ways to rectify them.
@NSEwalaYOGI do let me know if you find any other answers, please
Yes forum does that , enroll kie the last year . Ans likhe but mentorship use nh kie utna over confident the , ab pre k baad krenge , paisa bahut lete hai ye
abhi pre k pehle kam amount me koi ho to batana
Kenshein,
Villanelle,Thunderstorm
I don't understand what happened and still unable to believe.
I began preparing in summer of 2019 and took the first attempt in 2020. Did very well in Prelims, but I realised that though I had completed and revised optional very well, I hadn't prepared Mains, especially GS very well primarily because of lack of guidance and poor planning and even though I knew stuff, I didn't have any notes properly for quick revisions or broad enough to cover a lot of aspects. Wrote lots of TLP questions but hardly any proper 3hr test series. Wrote the exam, completed my paper, didn't leave any question. Optional and Ethics didn't go well and consequently didn't clear mains. Missed Gen cutoff by 16 marks last time.
Right after mains in Jan 2021, I figured out my problem was lack of content and dedicated Mains prep, so I spent 3-4 months in total on GS papers, making notes, integrating current affairs and linking with static and in depth analysis of Optional. Post Pre last October, I completed Forum test series and Vision test series. Also wrote optionals but less tests and almost every question in past 20 years. Fast forward to this mains, the papers went quite well, in papers such as GS1, GS2 and Optionals I actually had so many questions that I had guessed or had written and revised before hand and other GS papers as well I wrote what was demanded with examples and Mock test inputs to improve the look and feel of answers. GS3 I wrote what I think were decent answers apart from those 3 damned(AQG{the only question I left completely blank in my past 2 attempts at CS Mains}, Blue LED and S400) questions. Still didn't clear cutoff.
The biggest issue is I dont know what to do anymore. Right after grad, I got into this and gave it my all for 3 years, now I dont even feel like doing anything else, at the same time I dont have the physical capacity and mental strength left for the Pre-Mains- Interview cycles of other exams. People advised me to cut my losses and move on, but somehow I dont think I can let go of this so easily, and its not like I have been one of those kids who wanted to do Upsc since fucking school age. it just came as whim pretty late in college life, but for the first time in my life, I had actually wanted and worked hard for something. I feel lost and I don't know what to do anymore.
Completely relatable , I'm in the same boat
I don't know any solutions either
Just clinging onto some hope
Relating so much to@Art_vandelay. Not sure this is the right place to post about this, but here I go: since the mains result came out, I've been trying to look for a job. I deal with grief better by keeping myself busy. I started preparing right after graduation and have no work experience to speak of. Not even an internship. I was aimless in college, I did decently well but had zero interest in anything I studied. When I started preparing for UPSC, it honestly felt great. I finally had something I wanted to do. I genuinely liked all the subjects that I studied. It was my first attempt, so everything was very new and I was very curious and actually wanted to learn. It was a really nice feeling. But after things stopped feeling 'new', I started stagnating. I stumbled through prelims and crashed and burned in mains.
When I browse through LinkedIn, I can see that I have skills and knowledge that I got because of UPSC, and some skills that I had before itself. But I don't have the qualifications to back anything up. I can only show off my skills in an interview if I'm invited to the interview. Pretty sure I get cut out in the resume stage itself. I've started to hate the fact that I'm not independent at all, still having to ask parents for money and feeling really guilty every time I spend it. I'm scared of failing UPSC again and scared I'll have nowhere else to go because no one will give me a job. All the other exams seem to be coming up too fast for me to even figure the syllabus out.
I always thought I'd figured out a backup - if not this, I can do a post-graduation or write some other exams that are easier but reality is a bit different. UPSC isn't the only exam with insane competition and a taxing exam process. I don't want to let go but I'm terrified of getting stuck in this loop.
Civils Mains:2017,2018,2020,2021,Forest Mains:2021.
You guys have been very kind and supportive. I remember when I started my journey of CSE, I was in Bhopal and my only contact with the CSE environment was through Forum only. Those were the data of Santara, Queen, Pizza etc. Gradually new people kept replacing the old ones. One thing though, that remained common was the mutual support and motivation this platform gives to aspirants.
I am in a better state as compared to 17th march. Time for the ritual of rearranging the desk, notes and getting ready to grind. Let's get it done properly this time. My optional is sociology. I've written 2 mains. I'll try to be more expressive on Forum instead of being a silent observer.
As far as the spirit is concerned, obviously down but not dead. After every single failure, I tell myself that do everything which you thought I should have done during the anxious periods before exams last year. Ans success I think is more like Gandalf the grey "It is never late, nor is it early, it arrives precisely when it means to".
to quote Rahat sahab, "सितारें नोच कर ले जाऊँगा, मैं खाली हाथ घर जाने का नहीं"
Getting up back into the cycle is even tougher than I imagined
The mental and physical toll it took last cycle yet ending up with "no match found" on 17th
I'm optimistic but there's little bit of fear that asks what if our efforts did not reap good results again
One good thing, parents are so far supportive of getting back to next cycle
I don't want to disappoint them or even myself again ,so I will prepare well for upsc cse but parallely look out for other exams as well
After reading the comments here, I think most of our papers went well, barring GS 3. I’ve not found any single person who found Mains on a whole to be difficult. Sabka acha hua, isiliye competition got tougher.
I think the answer is to write excellent answers now, and not just good/decent ones. We should all write like we want AIR 1 & nothing less. If the papers were fine for us, it went excellent for the 1800 who got in.
Still numb and can't focus on anything. This was my first mains in my second attempt. I was getting good marks and good ranks in the mocks that I gave for GS and Essays. Optional was also good, though didn't give much mocks for it. This feeling of failure is affecting almost all aspect of my life- my relationships with my family members, my own mental equilibrium is getting worse. Getting angry on petty issues. Worried about what went wrong with me more than what went wrong in mains. A quick background- a topper throughout my life, from school days, to coaching, to college. Cleared almost all exams, I sat for in a go. From a few years, I lost that confidence. Whenever I look back, I doubt if I am the same who was a few years ago. I used to be the most cheerful guy among my friends. Now, everything looks gloomy. Don't even know whom to talk to, left every social media for this exam. A deep sense of loneliness is spiraling me into intense mood swings.
Was trying to explore meditation to see if it can be helpful. But looks like every renowned sources are paid, except Vipassana which takes time instead of money. I would be very grateful for any help with techniques to cope up with this sense of dejection and loneliness. Sorry to intrude into a otherwise healthy thread discussing what went wrong with words resonating negativity and hopelessness.
Still numb and can't focus on anything. This was my first mains in my second attempt. I was getting good marks and good ranks in the mocks that I gave for GS and Essays. Optional was also good, though didn't give much mocks for it. This feeling of failure is affecting almost all aspect of my life- my relationships with my family members, my own mental equilibrium is getting worse. Getting angry on petty issues. Worried about what went wrong with me more than what went wrong in mains. A quick background- a topper throughout my life, from school days, to coaching, to college. Cleared almost all exams, I sat for in a go. From a few years, I lost that confidence. Whenever I look back, I doubt if I am the same who was a few years ago. I used to be the most cheerful guy among my friends. Now, everything looks gloomy. Don't even know whom to talk to, left every social media for this exam. A deep sense of loneliness is spiraling me into intense mood swings.
Was trying to explore meditation to see if it can be helpful. But looks like every renowned sources are paid, except Vipassana which takes time instead of money. I would be very grateful for any help with techniques to cope up with this sense of dejection and loneliness. Sorry to intrude into a otherwise healthy thread discussing what went wrong with words resonating negativity and hopelessness.
Hey, you asked for some techniques to cope up with the sense of dejection and loneliness. Dejection is being in a sad and depressed state; loneliness is sadness due to absence of friends or company. Technique means a way of carrying out a particular task.
There are two ways- 1) treat the symptoms [in your case- treat loneliness and dejection] 2) treat the cause.
Forum is a wonderful community and your family[your mom, dad, siblings] has still some selfless love to give to you. Technique- You can remove loneliness by having some cyberspace company or friends or be with your family but then your "worsened mental equilibrium" will again produce bad reactions [anger on petty issues, etc]. Many other techniques. Then dejection, similarly many other techniques. I can google them and there would be links after links for pages.
But they are just symptoms.
Your inquisitiveness has led you to the right place. Two factors remain. Money vs time. But you want to "invest" neither. I learnt the technique of Vipassana but I cannot give it to you. Why? - [1] It will have to be given through this medium over cyberspace and it limits my capabilities to communicate. You live with your family and don't understand them and get angry on petty issues, how will you understand a stranger in whom you have no faith because there is no rapport. [2] Another reason- the technique is so vast, bigger than an ocean and I myself have received just a drop and I am not perfect so I am still trying to digest than one drop.
2021 was my first attempt. I am grateful and so happy that I failed in prelims. You see, I had tried all the "techniques" in the book, you name it. I read books after books on these "techniques". They are great in their place but there is a missing link. That link is Vipassana.
I wanted to learn it since my 2nd year at IITK but it was not to be. If I had 40 days to prelims and I had to decide how to "invest" this time, I'd give 10 days to myself and 30 to the exam. You have 72 :)
If I had 30 days same investment, 20 days same. Any day, any circumstance, I'd make the same choice of investment.
Still numb and can't focus on anything. This was my first mains in my second attempt. I was getting good marks and good ranks in the mocks that I gave for GS and Essays. Optional was also good, though didn't give much mocks for it. This feeling of failure is affecting almost all aspect of my life- my relationships with my family members, my own mental equilibrium is getting worse. Getting angry on petty issues. Worried about what went wrong with me more than what went wrong in mains. A quick background- a topper throughout my life, from school days, to coaching, to college. Cleared almost all exams, I sat for in a go. From a few years, I lost that confidence. Whenever I look back, I doubt if I am the same who was a few years ago. I used to be the most cheerful guy among my friends. Now, everything looks gloomy. Don't even know whom to talk to, left every social media for this exam. A deep sense of loneliness is spiraling me into intense mood swings.
Was trying to explore meditation to see if it can be helpful. But looks like every renowned sources are paid, except Vipassana which takes time instead of money. I would be very grateful for any help with techniques to cope up with this sense of dejection and loneliness. Sorry to intrude into a otherwise healthy thread discussing what went wrong with words resonating negativity and hopelessness.
Negativity, hopelessness and all other affective states are impermanent. The only healthy way to deal with them is to recognize their fleeting nature. Recognize them as just entities that are appearing in your conscious awareness and will fade away on their own, if you don't cling to them.
You cannot let yourself be dictated by the constant barrage of emotions and thoughts that your mind throws at you. That doesn't mean that you block those feelings or try to hide from them. Rather, be open (to yourself) about what you feel and instead of shying away, drill down into them. More often than not, it robs them of the significance that we attach to them. This might sound hokum but with meditation, you can actually experience it.
I don't know what kind of resources you were looking for, but if you're interested in guided meditation, I'd highly recommend you try Waking Up by Sam Harris.
If you're unable to pay, you can ask for a free account with full access, zero questions asked.
https://app.wakingup.com/scholarship?options=1
Also, feel free to DM if you need somebody to talk to.
P - 6 | M - 4 | I - 0 | Psychology |
Muffin,Jammu
Jammu,Street_lamp
3. Having slow writing speed (Like Anudeep Durishetty & Yo Yo Chhoti Singh -> [Strategy] "Extremely Slow Handwriting" - How Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh fought it to get IAS Rank 104 -ForumIAS Blog)
Each one of us has to find out our own issues at the individual level
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