Practice Essay writing - Likho, Padho aur Seekho

Essay :

Our future is shaped by our present :

Pointers :

- Introduction :

o Poem : "experienced says, focus and work in present,

Newcomers serve it with resent;

they immerse deep in past and dream of future ,

which is the recipe of a heartbreaking adventure”

- Independence – India and Pakistan – India – 72 yrs of consituition , peaceful govt change , no coups , high development – while Pakistan would be changing cons, coups , lack of secularism and hub of terror groups

o Reasons being the vision of the leaders and the actions they did in present of 1947 – CA – consti – rights , secular state – open etc and other way for paksitan

- Next para : explain – present- something in which we live , have control on and which we can shape by our actions.

o Future : distant someone – have an idea of and dream of , not in our control .

- Explain the meaning – how its relevant with examples :

o Social : child growing up , parents inculcate values – child shows them when he grows up , example – ram lakhan movie – one is police other theif or the tale of two birds.

- Parents have to be cautious at present as their actions shape their future.

o Economic : far sighted approach and actions of govt at present would shape economic growth and recovery

-Example : India govt ki traeef : from 23% unemployement rate to 6.5 % in march 2021

· Atmanirbhar bharat , reduction in repo rate etc etc

o History : future of Indian people to witness the light of independence without a tinch of violence was possible due to the thinking of Gandhi at present , during 1919 – he did tour – to keep the movement non violent

o Consitutional /legal : SC judgment in 1973 – kesavanda Bharati case – doctrine of basic structure which has lead to protection of life and liberties

o International : south kore and north korea

- South korea : using terms like tech hub , 97% literacy due to democracy vs cult leadership.

o Environment : our common future report – sustainable development , ekdum shows the point

- Israel vs other middle east countries on water wars

· Israle since 1997 – did disalniation all.

- how lack of vision of future and lack of action at present would be devasttaing - covid 19 , BMC vs Delhi model , similarly failure of central govt in mainting all those required.

- NewZealand example

- Next part :

o Future shaped by present , but how is our present ? is it shaped by something – sometimes condn in our present would not be enough to achive our future. (economic , social , family – explained)

- What options we have? Can we change our present cond? NO

Other options : sail our ship through the tides.

- Example : APJ abdul kalam , his actions and his dream .

- Next part :

o Present is there , we do act keeping in mind our future goals yet sometimes we fail - we do fail . then waht , what is the issue?

- Why we fail ? circumstances , bad day , or some other contingencies

- Should be step back ? no

- Example ? APJ abdul kalam couldn’t become pilot and Vikram sarabhai’s failure in ISRO.

- This is not failure

- It’s a process , success would be achieved today or tomarrow – may be same and maybe different.

· How Vikram supported ISRO members to achive success in subsequent years

- Conclsuion part – Krishna quote “ karm karo fal ki chinta mat kro (doubtful)” or like end with the poem ka end or something futuristic

P.S : First essay people, and not a fan of reading poems , but still tried hands at poem. I was toh not even willing to put the poem up for people to see and laugh , but still do give honest advice regarding the poem, taaki next time I dont make a blunder like this , if its nice and workable then its good.

@whatonly @Patootie @SergioRamos @AzadHindFauz @DeekshitaP @12432TrivendrumRajdhani and others , inviting you people as this thread is not that much known so.

DM,12432TrivendrumRajdhaniand4 otherslike this

SergioRamos .

sstarrrsaid
Essay :
Our future is shaped by our present :
Pointers :
-          Introduction :
o   Poem : "experienced says, focus and work in present,
                             Newcomers serve it with resent;
                             they immerse deep in past and dream of future ,
                             which is the recipe of a heartbreaking adventure”
or
-          Independence – India and Pakistan – India – 72 yrs of consituition , peaceful govt change , no coups , high development – while Pakistan would be changing cons, coups , lack of secularism and hub of terror groups
o   Reasons being the vision of the leaders and the actions they did in present of 1947 – CA – consti – rights , secular state – open etc and other way for paksitan
-          Next para : explain – present- something in which we live , have control on and which we can shape by our actions.
o   Future : distant someone – have an idea of and dream of , not in our control .
-          Explain the meaning – how its relevant with examples :
o   Social : child growing up , parents inculcate values – child shows them when he grows up , example – ram lakhan movie – one is police other theif or the tale of two birds.
- Parents have to be cautious at present as their actions shape their future.
o   Economic : far sighted approach and actions of govt at present would shape economic growth and recovery
-Example : India govt ki traeef : from 23% unemployement rate to 6.5 % in march 2021
·       Atmanirbhar bharat , reduction in repo rate etc etc
o   History : future of Indian people to witness the light of independence without a tinch of violence was possible due to the thinking of Gandhi at present , during 1919 – he did tour – to keep the movement non violent
o   Consitutional /legal : SC judgment in 1973 – kesavanda Bharati case – doctrine of basic structure which has lead to protection of life and liberties
o   International : south kore and north korea
-  South korea : using terms like tech hub , 97% literacy due to democracy vs cult leadership.
o   Environment : our common future report – sustainable development , ekdum shows the point
-      Israel vs other middle east countries on water wars
·       Israle since 1997 – did disalniation all.
-          Next part :
o   Future shaped by present , but how is our present ? is it shaped by something – sometimes condn in our present would not be enough to achive our future. (economic , social , family – explained)
- What options we have? Can we change our present cond? NO
         Other options : sail our ship through the tides.
-   Example : APJ abdul kalam , his actions and his dream .
-          Next part :
o   Present is there , we do act keeping in mind our future goals yet sometimes we fail - we do fail . then waht , what is the issue?
        -      Why we fail ? circumstances , bad day , or some other contingencies
-         Should be step back ? no
-     Example ? APJ abdul kalam couldn’t become pilot and Vikram sarabhai’s failure in ISRO.
- This is not failure
-  It’s a process , success would be achieved today or tomarrow – may be same and maybe different.
·       How Vikram supported ISRO members to achive success in subsequent years
-          Conclsuion part – Krishna quote “ karm karo fal ki chinta mat kro (doubtful)” or like end with the poem ka end or something futuristic

P.S : First essay people, and not a fan of reading poems , but still tried hands at poem. I was toh not even willing to put the poem up for people to see and laugh , but still do give honest advice regarding the poem, taaki next time I dont make a blunder like this , if its nice and workable then its good.

@whatonly @Patootie @SergioRamos @AzadHindFauz @DeekshitaP @12432TrivendrumRajdhani and others , inviting you people as this thread is not that much known so.

Great points. A suggestion from my side would be to add an extra paragraph on the importance of education in shaping the future and how the government of the day is doing so. It is education that is a major if not the most important driver in shaping our future. Focusing on it specifically can be great IMO.

Villanelle,12432TrivendrumRajdhaniand1 otherslike this

sstarrrsaid
walterwhit3said
farzicodersaid
New sunday ,new essay
Lets do it folks.
@nerdfighter@Aalsibalak@Aquaman@sstarrr@babu_bisleri@walterwhit3- up for today ?
Me and a friend are writing an essay on Wisdom Finds Truth (2019).
You guys?
We too can do this. PYQ are a good way to start.

I found it most challenging among the 4 in 2019. If you guys are willing for it, then PYQs are the best way in my opinion.

EiChan,brownianMotionand1 otherslike this

whatonly .

@sstarrr Namaskarams.

I liked the poem :) definitely a good way to start the essay, especially on such an abstract topic. Poem or anecdote is the way to go on such topics I think.

You covered all the general dimensions nicely, have good examples. Education would be a good addition as Señor Ramos suggested. I really admire how deep you went into each topic. Also like your idea of laying out meanings of present and future in your second para.

One suggestion :)

This model of social, economic, political etc may itself be getting a little too common. Given that it is an abstract essay, you have some more room to explore the idea itself somewhat philosophically, if you wish to, rather than jumping straight into the various angles. You did this towards the end. I would suggest think some more on this. Your PSIR optional will definitely help.

For example, the fact that the future is shaped by the present may seem obvious to most of us today, but it was not so for many centuries. When humans lived at the mercy of nature, before civilisation reached the heights it has today, their future did not seem to be very related to their actions in the present - they didn’t know that they would harvest a crop in the future if they sowed seeds in the present. The realisation dawned slowly on them, and as it dawned, humans gained an increasing amount of control over their own lives. It is still dawning today, and we should not take it for granted. It is an achievement of our collective intellect and ingenuity. Besides, like the early humans didn’t understand where their food would come from, today’s humans sometimes don’t understand that if we don’t act to avert climate change in the present, future generations will bear the costs.

This is just one way it might be explored. There are going to be many others. Given that topics are getting more and more abstract, this touch of originality is important in my opinion. The SPELICH is always a good fallback, but you can explore more :)

Villanelle,12432TrivendrumRajdhaniand1 otherslike this

SergioRamos .

farzicodersaid
Looks like we might have low attendance today :p
Anyway, please review my essay if anyone gets time. Wrote on 2nd topic - The future depends on what we do in the present.
Thanks.
EssayDay1_farziCoder.pdf

Nice essay mate.

One thing if I may, if you write something, although you mean the same thing, just express it using different words. Like where you mentioned what you want, phrases like 'we want' and 'we need' regarding things that need to be done were oft repeated. Instead of writing we need, you can write It is a must. In place of we want, you can also twist it with something like A good thing to do would be. These sort of things. Just frame the sentence a bit differently so they do not sound monotone. :)

From Someone who suffered from this monotone problem, Trust me, this will vastly improve the readability and enjoyability of the essay. :)

Villanelle,brownianMotionand1 otherslike this

sstarrrsaid
Essay :
Our future is shaped by our present :
Pointers :
-          Introduction :
o   Poem : "experienced says, focus and work in present,
                             Newcomers serve it with resent;
                             they immerse deep in past and dream of future ,
                             which is the recipe of a heartbreaking adventure”
or
-          Independence – India and Pakistan – India – 72 yrs of consituition , peaceful govt change , no coups , high development – while Pakistan would be changing cons, coups , lack of secularism and hub of terror groups
o   Reasons being the vision of the leaders and the actions they did in present of 1947 – CA – consti – rights , secular state – open etc and other way for paksitan
-          Next para : explain – present- something in which we live , have control on and which we can shape by our actions.
o   Future : distant someone – have an idea of and dream of , not in our control .
-          Explain the meaning – how its relevant with examples :
o   Social : child growing up , parents inculcate values – child shows them when he grows up , example – ram lakhan movie – one is police other theif or the tale of two birds.
- Parents have to be cautious at present as their actions shape their future.
o   Economic : far sighted approach and actions of govt at present would shape economic growth and recovery
-Example : India govt ki traeef : from 23% unemployement rate to 6.5 % in march 2021
·       Atmanirbhar bharat , reduction in repo rate etc etc
o   History : future of Indian people to witness the light of independence without a tinch of violence was possible due to the thinking of Gandhi at present , during 1919 – he did tour – to keep the movement non violent
o   Consitutional /legal : SC judgment in 1973 – kesavanda Bharati case – doctrine of basic structure which has lead to protection of life and liberties
o   International : south kore and north korea
-  South korea : using terms like tech hub , 97% literacy due to democracy vs cult leadership.
o   Environment : our common future report – sustainable development , ekdum shows the point
-      Israel vs other middle east countries on water wars
·       Israle since 1997 – did disalniation all.
-          Next part :
o   Future shaped by present , but how is our present ? is it shaped by something – sometimes condn in our present would not be enough to achive our future. (economic , social , family – explained)
- What options we have? Can we change our present cond? NO
         Other options : sail our ship through the tides.
-   Example : APJ abdul kalam , his actions and his dream .
-          Next part :
o   Present is there , we do act keeping in mind our future goals yet sometimes we fail - we do fail . then waht , what is the issue?
        -      Why we fail ? circumstances , bad day , or some other contingencies
-         Should be step back ? no
-     Example ? APJ abdul kalam couldn’t become pilot and Vikram sarabhai’s failure in ISRO.
- This is not failure
-  It’s a process , success would be achieved today or tomarrow – may be same and maybe different.
·       How Vikram supported ISRO members to achive success in subsequent years
-          Conclsuion part – Krishna quote “ karm karo fal ki chinta mat kro (doubtful)” or like end with the poem ka end or something futuristic

P.S : First essay people, and not a fan of reading poems , but still tried hands at poem. I was toh not even willing to put the poem up for people to see and laugh , but still do give honest advice regarding the poem, taaki next time I dont make a blunder like this , if its nice and workable then its good.

@whatonly @Patootie @SergioRamos @AzadHindFauz @DeekshitaP @12432TrivendrumRajdhani and others , inviting you people as this thread is not that much known so.

Great framework of the essay.In my view, you have covered most of the dimensions.

With my limited experience, maybe prioritising dimensions can be worked upon - like historical perspective in first part and later sectoral dimension.

Otherwise, you have used very good examples. Analogy of APJ Abdul Kalam and Vikram Sarabhai was very good.

Also, from next time, you can try writing in proper essay format. Saying this because, in framework we (atleast me) make lots of points, but for paucity of time/space, some of the points are missed. For ex- I thought about Israel example and also linking ancient-medieval-modern history ('present') to contemporary time ('future'), but lost the flow somehow.

Keep it up :)

sstarrr,Chaotic_homo

farzicodersaid
New sunday ,new essay
Lets do it folks.
@nerdfighter@Aalsibalak@Aquaman@sstarrr@babu_bisleri@walterwhit3- up for today ?

Me and a friend are writing an essay on Wisdom Finds Truth (2019).

You guys?

brownianMotion,sstarrr

sstarrr .

walterwhit3said
sstarrrsaid
walterwhit3said
farzicodersaid
New sunday ,new essay
Lets do it folks.
@nerdfighter@Aalsibalak@Aquaman@sstarrr@babu_bisleri@walterwhit3- up for today ?
Me and a friend are writing an essay on Wisdom Finds Truth (2019).
You guys?
We too can do this. PYQ are a good way to start.
I found it most challenging among the 4 in 2019. If you guys are willing for it, then PYQs are the best way in my opinion.

Even I feel so. PYQs should be done first. And rightly said this seems challenging. Chalo lets attempt. I am going for wisdom finds truth guys!

EiChan,brownianMotion

PursuitofHappyness .

12432TrivendrumRajdhani .

walterwhit3said
sstarrrsaid
walterwhit3said
farzicodersaid
New sunday ,new essay
Lets do it folks.
@nerdfighter@Aalsibalak@Aquaman@sstarrr@babu_bisleri@walterwhit3- up for today ?
Me and a friend are writing an essay on Wisdom Finds Truth (2019).
You guys?
We too can do this. PYQ are a good way to start.
I found it most challenging among the 4 in 2019. If you guys are willing for it, then PYQs are the best way in my opinion.

I agree.. rather going for test series essays covering themewise PYQ essays will give confidence..

walterwhit3,brownianMotion

@farzicoder

Achha likha hai. I am not a expert. Mai bhi seekh raha hu. Just some quick observation.

1. Started well. Korean peninsula ka achha contrast establish kiya. I dunno why I was expecting some linkage with the same Korean story in the end.

2. I liked how you wrote few paragraphs as if one is having conversation with the reader. Does that tone downs the official decorum of the essay ? This can be explored (this = how much conversational we can get with the reader).

3. Hand writing is good. Extremely legible. Good spacing between words. Paragraphs are well alingned. Perfect slant of the line.

Few questions

1. What's your proces for brainstorming?

2. Do you underline key words as you go with the flow? Or underline everything once you finish writing it?

Sry if i have written anything trivial. Am myself learning the trades of essay writing.

brownianMotion,SergioRamos

Wisdom finds truth !!

Very hard topic.Took 15~20 mins extra. Will be very interesting on what lines others thought on this topic. My attempt.

Week2_farziCoder.pdf

walterwhit3,sstarrr

Due to paucity of time, could not join any test series for essay. If anyone is ready, we can start the thread again.

Writing 1 or 2 essays this weekend !!?

D503,Druzhba

Luffysaid
@walterwhit3 how did you remember so many quotes ?? . Do you like reading philosophy ??

Yeah. I like to read some stuff about it from time to time.

I was writing below average philosophical essays. Then I started paying attention to some quotes.

I still might be writing below average because essays are so subjective.

EiChan,PursuitofHappyness

Humanity Humane.pdf

I wrote it last week. Today I wrote on another topic.
@farzicoder @sstarrr

Please take a look and submit yours.

brownianMotion,sstarrr

MarcusA .

Vasanth79said
Any new approach to intro in essay other than quotes,anecdotes?

F.I.R.E=Flow-Informative-Relevant-Engaging....

story and quotes are overrated and might even backfire if forcefully used

Deepak802,brownianMotion

Aquamansaid
» show previous quotes
walterwhit3said
Aquamansaid
walterwhit3said
Wisdom Finds Truth.pdf
Here is my attempt.
Time taken: 1 hour 40 mins.

@Walter_White Don't take it otherwise but don;t you think you have made it an essay of philosophy? Although i haven't written the essay but i was going through some videos on telegram where people said to show your knowledge in your area of specialization as it is your domain but don't go too far. Otherwise, the Intro was too good and the first three paragraphs were brilliant but then it started to get too much of philosophy.
I found the topic really philosophical and thus approached it in the same manner. Although philosophy is not my specialization, I am having Physics optional. But it is possible that I might have overdone it.
Thank you for pointing it out.
Yeah its really difficult to explore dimensions in these topics. But you can use the pestel approach I am no expert but see if it helps you
Political wisdom of our Nehru, Truth - Democracy
Economic wisdom of Manmohan singh/ Pv narsimha rao , Truth- economic growth
Social wisdom - Raja ram mohan roy, Ishwarchandra etc , Truth - a more liberal, egalitarian society
Technological wisdom - Artificial intelligence , Truth- A simpler, connected world
And so on....
Also you can add drawbacks in each of these wisdom and elaborate IDK if this suits you, if not pls add something so we can gain something from ur insights

More than a set approach, what I am actually trying since last two or three essays is to explore the topic itself. Even though PESTEL approach or SPELICH has been set as a well rewarding strategy, I feel that for last 2 or 3 years the essay topics are going beyond that. Like, the 2019 essay paper was infamous for being supplimentary to GS IV paper. Therefore I tried to be as original as possible

Upon retrospective thinking, I feel that I could have improved or changed:

The definition of wisdom. How wisdom lies in taking calculative decisions and application of knowledge.
How Wise man have been able to find Truth about say : Discovery of Penicillin as scientific truth, social truths like Banning slave trade, Truth about Human Nature reflected in Declaration on Human Rights.
About PVNSR and Man Mohan Singh, I feel their wisdom did not find any such substantial truths. They removed the barriers. India was and still is a potential powerhouse. We have erected these artificial barricades ourselves.
What I really wanted to include is that Truth alone does not amount to progress. It needs the guiding light of old wisdom of Earth Being a Mother to All. Sometimes Truth needs to find wisdom as well. Hence the last 1.5 pages.

Rest it is just a mock essay.

I would gladly change my approach and inculcate your suggestions, rather than being blind about your suggestions and make a fatal mistake when the time comes.

Jonathan,HeNeArKr

@farzicoder @Aquaman Thank you, guys. Both of you have provided some really valuable inputs. It was indeed a philosophical overkill. Something which I will try to tone down in the upcoming essays.

brownianMotion,HeNeArKr

Looks like we might have low attendance today :p

Anyway, please review my essay if anyone gets time. Wrote on 2nd topic - The future depends on what we do in the present.

Thanks.

EssayDay1_farziCoder.pdf

12432TrivendrumRajdhani,whatonly

walterwhit3said
Ships essay.pdf
I Wrote it in January. Heard that people are willing to review.

Hoping for a review or two.

Good essay :)

Things I liked
- ample historical examples to bring home the argument - Trojan horse and Mesopotamia example were both literal and metaphorical
- mention of reasons for Ships sinking / water entering them - Greed, Human hunger for power, its devastating impacts
- Human resilience to steer ship out of mess - Ferdinand megellar

Other points
- also felt historical perspective was given more weightage - other dimensions in my view (Politics - parliament criminalization and impact on institution,Sports - Indian cricket fixing, Economy - BOP crisis, Civil services etc.)
- I was hoping for some chronological sequencing in history examples, thats why felt Alexander example could come after Kingdom of Ur example
- was also hoping that initial Trojan horse example to get reflected in conclusion in some way
- @babu_bisleri mentioned physics behind ship sinking which I thought can help in our analysis

Questions/Clarification
- you talked about civilization,Gandhi, 9/11attacks in 5th,6th page - I wanted to know how are you establishing connect with topic of essay ?

Overall, very good points. Keep it up :)

walterwhit3,

sstarrr .