Practice Essay writing - Likho, Padho aur Seekho
Creating this thread for writing an essay each week.
Current schedule (plz suggest if needs to be changed) -
1. Write one essay on sunday from 3:00-4:30 PM
2. Submit here by 5 PM (okay 5:15 PM)
3. Read others essay by 6PM
4. Comments/Review/Extra discussion post that.
Everyone is welcome. Though, it is feasible if we have relatively smaller groups. Excited to read awesome essays and write some also.
Looks like we might have low attendance today :p
Anyway, please review my essay if anyone gets time. Wrote on 2nd topic - The future depends on what we do in the present.
Thanks.
EssayDay1_farziCoder.pdf
12432TrivendrumRajdhani,whatonly
1000-1200 I guess, just like CSE Mains@farzicoder how much word limit
Essay :
Our future is shaped by our present :
Pointers :
- Introduction :
o Poem : "experienced says, focus and work in present,
Newcomers serve it with resent;
they immerse deep in past and dream of future ,
which is the recipe of a heartbreaking adventure”
or
- Independence – India and Pakistan – India – 72 yrs of consituition , peaceful govt change , no coups , high development – while Pakistan would be changing cons, coups , lack of secularism and hub of terror groups
o Reasons being the vision of the leaders and the actions they did in present of 1947 – CA – consti – rights , secular state – open etc and other way for paksitan
- Next para : explain – present- something in which we live , have control on and which we can shape by our actions.
o Future : distant someone – have an idea of and dream of , not in our control .
- Explain the meaning – how its relevant with examples :
o Social : child growing up , parents inculcate values – child shows them when he grows up , example – ram lakhan movie – one is police other theif or the tale of two birds.
- Parents have to be cautious at present as their actions shape their future.
o Economic : far sighted approach and actions of govt at present would shape economic growth and recovery
-Example : India govt ki traeef : from 23% unemployement rate to 6.5 % in march 2021
· Atmanirbhar bharat , reduction in repo rate etc etc
o History : future of Indian people to witness the light of independence without a tinch of violence was possible due to the thinking of Gandhi at present , during 1919 – he did tour – to keep the movement non violent
o Consitutional /legal : SC judgment in 1973 – kesavanda Bharati case – doctrine of basic structure which has lead to protection of life and liberties
o International : south kore and north korea
- South korea : using terms like tech hub , 97% literacy due to democracy vs cult leadership.
o Environment : our common future report – sustainable development , ekdum shows the point
- Israel vs other middle east countries on water wars
· Israle since 1997 – did disalniation all.
- Next part :
o Future shaped by present , but how is our present ? is it shaped by something – sometimes condn in our present would not be enough to achive our future. (economic , social , family – explained)
- What options we have? Can we change our present cond? NO
Other options : sail our ship through the tides.
- Example : APJ abdul kalam , his actions and his dream .
- Next part :
o Present is there , we do act keeping in mind our future goals yet sometimes we fail - we do fail . then waht , what is the issue?
- Why we fail ? circumstances , bad day , or some other contingencies
- Should be step back ? no
- Example ? APJ abdul kalam couldn’t become pilot and Vikram sarabhai’s failure in ISRO.
- This is not failure
- It’s a process , success would be achieved today or tomarrow – may be same and maybe different.
· How Vikram supported ISRO members to achive success in subsequent years
- Conclsuion part – Krishna quote “ karm karo fal ki chinta mat kro (doubtful)” or like end with the poem ka end or something futuristic
P.S : First essay people, and not a fan of reading poems , but still tried hands at poem. I was toh not even willing to put the poem up for people to see and laugh , but still do give honest advice regarding the poem, taaki next time I dont make a blunder like this , if its nice and workable then its good.
@whatonly @Patootie @SergioRamos @AzadHindFauz @DeekshitaP @12432TrivendrumRajdhani and others , inviting you people as this thread is not that much known so.
Essay :
Our future is shaped by our present :
Pointers :
- Introduction :
o Poem : "experienced says, focus and work in present,
Newcomers serve it with resent;
they immerse deep in past and dream of future ,
which is the recipe of a heartbreaking adventure”
or
- Independence – India and Pakistan – India – 72 yrs of consituition , peaceful govt change , no coups , high development – while Pakistan would be changing cons, coups , lack of secularism and hub of terror groups
o Reasons being the vision of the leaders and the actions they did in present of 1947 – CA – consti – rights , secular state – open etc and other way for paksitan
- Next para : explain – present- something in which we live , have control on and which we can shape by our actions.
o Future : distant someone – have an idea of and dream of , not in our control .
- Explain the meaning – how its relevant with examples :
o Social : child growing up , parents inculcate values – child shows them when he grows up , example – ram lakhan movie – one is police other theif or the tale of two birds.
- Parents have to be cautious at present as their actions shape their future.
o Economic : far sighted approach and actions of govt at present would shape economic growth and recovery
-Example : India govt ki traeef : from 23% unemployement rate to 6.5 % in march 2021
· Atmanirbhar bharat , reduction in repo rate etc etc
o History : future of Indian people to witness the light of independence without a tinch of violence was possible due to the thinking of Gandhi at present , during 1919 – he did tour – to keep the movement non violent
o Consitutional /legal : SC judgment in 1973 – kesavanda Bharati case – doctrine of basic structure which has lead to protection of life and liberties
o International : south kore and north korea
- South korea : using terms like tech hub , 97% literacy due to democracy vs cult leadership.
o Environment : our common future report – sustainable development , ekdum shows the point
- Israel vs other middle east countries on water wars
· Israle since 1997 – did disalniation all.
- Next part :
o Future shaped by present , but how is our present ? is it shaped by something – sometimes condn in our present would not be enough to achive our future. (economic , social , family – explained)
- What options we have? Can we change our present cond? NO
Other options : sail our ship through the tides.
- Example : APJ abdul kalam , his actions and his dream .
- Next part :
o Present is there , we do act keeping in mind our future goals yet sometimes we fail - we do fail . then waht , what is the issue?
- Why we fail ? circumstances , bad day , or some other contingencies
- Should be step back ? no
- Example ? APJ abdul kalam couldn’t become pilot and Vikram sarabhai’s failure in ISRO.
- This is not failure
- It’s a process , success would be achieved today or tomarrow – may be same and maybe different.
· How Vikram supported ISRO members to achive success in subsequent years
- Conclsuion part – Krishna quote “ karm karo fal ki chinta mat kro (doubtful)” or like end with the poem ka end or something futuristic
P.S : First essay people, and not a fan of reading poems , but still tried hands at poem. I was toh not even willing to put the poem up for people to see and laugh , but still do give honest advice regarding the poem, taaki next time I dont make a blunder like this , if its nice and workable then its good.
@whatonly @Patootie @SergioRamos @AzadHindFauz @DeekshitaP @12432TrivendrumRajdhani and others , inviting you people as this thread is not that much known so.
Great framework of the essay.In my view, you have covered most of the dimensions.
With my limited experience, maybe prioritising dimensions can be worked upon - like historical perspective in first part and later sectoral dimension.
Otherwise, you have used very good examples. Analogy of APJ Abdul Kalam and Vikram Sarabhai was very good.
Also, from next time, you can try writing in proper essay format. Saying this because, in framework we (atleast me) make lots of points, but for paucity of time/space, some of the points are missed. For ex- I thought about Israel example and also linking ancient-medieval-modern history ('present') to contemporary time ('future'), but lost the flow somehow.
Keep it up :)
sstarrr,Chaotic_homoEssay :
Our future is shaped by our present :
Pointers :
- Introduction :
o Poem : "experienced says, focus and work in present,
Newcomers serve it with resent;
they immerse deep in past and dream of future ,
which is the recipe of a heartbreaking adventure”
or
- Independence – India and Pakistan – India – 72 yrs of consituition , peaceful govt change , no coups , high development – while Pakistan would be changing cons, coups , lack of secularism and hub of terror groups
o Reasons being the vision of the leaders and the actions they did in present of 1947 – CA – consti – rights , secular state – open etc and other way for paksitan
- Next para : explain – present- something in which we live , have control on and which we can shape by our actions.
o Future : distant someone – have an idea of and dream of , not in our control .
- Explain the meaning – how its relevant with examples :
o Social : child growing up , parents inculcate values – child shows them when he grows up , example – ram lakhan movie – one is police other theif or the tale of two birds.
- Parents have to be cautious at present as their actions shape their future.
o Economic : far sighted approach and actions of govt at present would shape economic growth and recovery
-Example : India govt ki traeef : from 23% unemployement rate to 6.5 % in march 2021
· Atmanirbhar bharat , reduction in repo rate etc etc
o History : future of Indian people to witness the light of independence without a tinch of violence was possible due to the thinking of Gandhi at present , during 1919 – he did tour – to keep the movement non violent
o Consitutional /legal : SC judgment in 1973 – kesavanda Bharati case – doctrine of basic structure which has lead to protection of life and liberties
o International : south kore and north korea
- South korea : using terms like tech hub , 97% literacy due to democracy vs cult leadership.
o Environment : our common future report – sustainable development , ekdum shows the point
- Israel vs other middle east countries on water wars
· Israle since 1997 – did disalniation all.
- Next part :
o Future shaped by present , but how is our present ? is it shaped by something – sometimes condn in our present would not be enough to achive our future. (economic , social , family – explained)
- What options we have? Can we change our present cond? NO
Other options : sail our ship through the tides.
- Example : APJ abdul kalam , his actions and his dream .
- Next part :
o Present is there , we do act keeping in mind our future goals yet sometimes we fail - we do fail . then waht , what is the issue?
- Why we fail ? circumstances , bad day , or some other contingencies
- Should be step back ? no
- Example ? APJ abdul kalam couldn’t become pilot and Vikram sarabhai’s failure in ISRO.
- This is not failure
- It’s a process , success would be achieved today or tomarrow – may be same and maybe different.
· How Vikram supported ISRO members to achive success in subsequent years
- Conclsuion part – Krishna quote “ karm karo fal ki chinta mat kro (doubtful)” or like end with the poem ka end or something futuristic
P.S : First essay people, and not a fan of reading poems , but still tried hands at poem. I was toh not even willing to put the poem up for people to see and laugh , but still do give honest advice regarding the poem, taaki next time I dont make a blunder like this , if its nice and workable then its good.
@whatonly @Patootie @SergioRamos @AzadHindFauz @DeekshitaP @12432TrivendrumRajdhani and others , inviting you people as this thread is not that much known so.
Great framework of the essay.In my view, you have covered most of the dimensions.
With my limited experience, maybe prioritising dimensions can be worked upon - like historical perspective in first part and later sectoral dimension.
Otherwise, you have used very good examples. Analogy of APJ Abdul Kalam and Vikram Sarabhai was very good.
Also, from next time, you can try writing in proper essay format. Saying this because, in framework we (atleast me) make lots of points, but for paucity of time/space, some of the points are missed. For ex- I thought about Israel example and also linking ancient-medieval-modern history ('present') to contemporary time ('future'), but lost the flow somehow.
Keep it up :)
I have seen your essay too. You were too good in the intro but in guess in the later part you lost the plot. the part where you said what all you are going to cover did mention all sorts of thing but in the end you missed those, or maybe I missed them but end could have been made more better. You covered majorly the SPECLIH part but not the other part.
If apart from explaining the title only you could have asked some more questions to question the statement and then proved them would have brought different view. Those are missing in my framework too, I could have asked some more questions on the statement but I couldn't remember more.
My first essay, first attempt , take advice with pinch of salt (maybe handful of it).
brownianMotion,Essay :
Our future is shaped by our present :
Pointers :
- Introduction :
o Poem : "experienced says, focus and work in present,
Newcomers serve it with resent;
they immerse deep in past and dream of future ,
which is the recipe of a heartbreaking adventure”
or
- Independence – India and Pakistan – India – 72 yrs of consituition , peaceful govt change , no coups , high development – while Pakistan would be changing cons, coups , lack of secularism and hub of terror groups
o Reasons being the vision of the leaders and the actions they did in present of 1947 – CA – consti – rights , secular state – open etc and other way for paksitan
- Next para : explain – present- something in which we live , have control on and which we can shape by our actions.
o Future : distant someone – have an idea of and dream of , not in our control .
- Explain the meaning – how its relevant with examples :
o Social : child growing up , parents inculcate values – child shows them when he grows up , example – ram lakhan movie – one is police other theif or the tale of two birds.
- Parents have to be cautious at present as their actions shape their future.
o Economic : far sighted approach and actions of govt at present would shape economic growth and recovery
-Example : India govt ki traeef : from 23% unemployement rate to 6.5 % in march 2021
· Atmanirbhar bharat , reduction in repo rate etc etc
o History : future of Indian people to witness the light of independence without a tinch of violence was possible due to the thinking of Gandhi at present , during 1919 – he did tour – to keep the movement non violent
o Consitutional /legal : SC judgment in 1973 – kesavanda Bharati case – doctrine of basic structure which has lead to protection of life and liberties
o International : south kore and north korea
- South korea : using terms like tech hub , 97% literacy due to democracy vs cult leadership.
o Environment : our common future report – sustainable development , ekdum shows the point
- Israel vs other middle east countries on water wars
· Israle since 1997 – did disalniation all.
- Next part :
o Future shaped by present , but how is our present ? is it shaped by something – sometimes condn in our present would not be enough to achive our future. (economic , social , family – explained)
- What options we have? Can we change our present cond? NO
Other options : sail our ship through the tides.
- Example : APJ abdul kalam , his actions and his dream .
- Next part :
o Present is there , we do act keeping in mind our future goals yet sometimes we fail - we do fail . then waht , what is the issue?
- Why we fail ? circumstances , bad day , or some other contingencies
- Should be step back ? no
- Example ? APJ abdul kalam couldn’t become pilot and Vikram sarabhai’s failure in ISRO.
- This is not failure
- It’s a process , success would be achieved today or tomarrow – may be same and maybe different.
· How Vikram supported ISRO members to achive success in subsequent years
- Conclsuion part – Krishna quote “ karm karo fal ki chinta mat kro (doubtful)” or like end with the poem ka end or something futuristic
P.S : First essay people, and not a fan of reading poems , but still tried hands at poem. I was toh not even willing to put the poem up for people to see and laugh , but still do give honest advice regarding the poem, taaki next time I dont make a blunder like this , if its nice and workable then its good.
@whatonly @Patootie @SergioRamos @AzadHindFauz @DeekshitaP @12432TrivendrumRajdhani and others , inviting you people as this thread is not that much known so.
Great points. A suggestion from my side would be to add an extra paragraph on the importance of education in shaping the future and how the government of the day is doing so. It is education that is a major if not the most important driver in shaping our future. Focusing on it specifically can be great IMO.
Essay :
Our future is shaped by our present :
Pointers :
- Introduction :
o Poem : "experienced says, focus and work in present,
Newcomers serve it with resent;
they immerse deep in past and dream of future ,
which is the recipe of a heartbreaking adventure”
or
- Independence – India and Pakistan – India – 72 yrs of consituition , peaceful govt change , no coups , high development – while Pakistan would be changing cons, coups , lack of secularism and hub of terror groups
o Reasons being the vision of the leaders and the actions they did in present of 1947 – CA – consti – rights , secular state – open etc and other way for paksitan
- Next para : explain – present- something in which we live , have control on and which we can shape by our actions.
o Future : distant someone – have an idea of and dream of , not in our control .
- Explain the meaning – how its relevant with examples :
o Social : child growing up , parents inculcate values – child shows them when he grows up , example – ram lakhan movie – one is police other theif or the tale of two birds.
- Parents have to be cautious at present as their actions shape their future.
o Economic : far sighted approach and actions of govt at present would shape economic growth and recovery
-Example : India govt ki traeef : from 23% unemployement rate to 6.5 % in march 2021
· Atmanirbhar bharat , reduction in repo rate etc etc
o History : future of Indian people to witness the light of independence without a tinch of violence was possible due to the thinking of Gandhi at present , during 1919 – he did tour – to keep the movement non violent
o Consitutional /legal : SC judgment in 1973 – kesavanda Bharati case – doctrine of basic structure which has lead to protection of life and liberties
o International : south kore and north korea
- South korea : using terms like tech hub , 97% literacy due to democracy vs cult leadership.
o Environment : our common future report – sustainable development , ekdum shows the point
- Israel vs other middle east countries on water wars
· Israle since 1997 – did disalniation all.
- Next part :
o Future shaped by present , but how is our present ? is it shaped by something – sometimes condn in our present would not be enough to achive our future. (economic , social , family – explained)
- What options we have? Can we change our present cond? NO
Other options : sail our ship through the tides.
- Example : APJ abdul kalam , his actions and his dream .
- Next part :
o Present is there , we do act keeping in mind our future goals yet sometimes we fail - we do fail . then waht , what is the issue?
- Why we fail ? circumstances , bad day , or some other contingencies
- Should be step back ? no
- Example ? APJ abdul kalam couldn’t become pilot and Vikram sarabhai’s failure in ISRO.
- This is not failure
- It’s a process , success would be achieved today or tomarrow – may be same and maybe different.
· How Vikram supported ISRO members to achive success in subsequent years
- Conclsuion part – Krishna quote “ karm karo fal ki chinta mat kro (doubtful)” or like end with the poem ka end or something futuristic
P.S : First essay people, and not a fan of reading poems , but still tried hands at poem. I was toh not even willing to put the poem up for people to see and laugh , but still do give honest advice regarding the poem, taaki next time I dont make a blunder like this , if its nice and workable then its good.
@whatonly @Patootie @SergioRamos @AzadHindFauz @DeekshitaP @12432TrivendrumRajdhani and others , inviting you people as this thread is not that much known so.
Great points. A suggestion from my side would be to add an extra paragraph on the importance of education in shaping the future and how the government of the day is doing so. It is education that is a major if not the most important driver in shaping our future. Focusing on it specifically can be great IMO.
Oh Bhai. How can I forget that? I did make a point for that - there was student ka exmaple - with praying before result or studying at time when one has to study. It was limited to that only. Your suggestion of including education national perspective is great. Thanks.
brownianMotion,SergioRamosLooks like we might have low attendance today :p
Anyway, please review my essay if anyone gets time. Wrote on 2nd topic - The future depends on what we do in the present.
Thanks.
Nice essay mate.
One thing if I may, if you write something, although you mean the same thing, just express it using different words. Like where you mentioned what you want, phrases like 'we want' and 'we need' regarding things that need to be done were oft repeated. Instead of writing we need, you can write It is a must. In place of we want, you can also twist it with something like A good thing to do would be. These sort of things. Just frame the sentence a bit differently so they do not sound monotone. :)
From Someone who suffered from this monotone problem, Trust me, this will vastly improve the readability and enjoyability of the essay. :)
This is just one way it might be explored. There are going to be many others. Given that topics are getting more and more abstract, this touch of originality is important in my opinion. The SPELICH is always a good fallback, but you can explore more :)
I think essay is so open ended that no one can claim to be expert. No issues. We are riding in the same boat.Achha likha hai. I am not a expert. Mai bhi seekh raha hu. Just some quick observation.1. Started well. Korean peninsula ka achha contrast establish kiya. I dunno why I was expecting some linkage with the same Korean story in the end.2. I liked how you wrote few paragraphs as if one is having conversation with the reader. Does that tone downs the official decorum of the essay ? This can be explored (this = how much conversational we can get with the reader).3. Hand writing is good. Extremely legible. Good spacing between words. Paragraphs are well alingned. Perfect slant of the line.Few questions1. What's your proces for brainstorming?2. Do you underline key words as you go with the flow? Or underline everything once you finish writing it?Sry if i have written anything trivial. Am myself learning the trades of essay writing.
12432TrivendrumRajdhani,Yes, you are absolutely right about later part and regarding exploring dimension of questioning the statement. I also thought so. Lost my concentration in between and hence lost the plot.Essay :
Our future is shaped by our present :
Pointers :
- Introduction :
o Poem : "experienced says, focus and work in present,
Newcomers serve it with resent;
they immerse deep in past and dream of future ,
which is the recipe of a heartbreaking adventure”
or
- Independence – India and Pakistan – India – 72 yrs of consituition , peaceful govt change , no coups , high development – while Pakistan would be changing cons, coups , lack of secularism and hub of terror groups
o Reasons being the vision of the leaders and the actions they did in present of 1947 – CA – consti – rights , secular state – open etc and other way for paksitan
- Next para : explain – present- something in which we live , have control on and which we can shape by our actions.
o Future : distant someone – have an idea of and dream of , not in our control .
- Explain the meaning – how its relevant with examples :
o Social : child growing up , parents inculcate values – child shows them when he grows up , example – ram lakhan movie – one is police other theif or the tale of two birds.
- Parents have to be cautious at present as their actions shape their future.
o Economic : far sighted approach and actions of govt at present would shape economic growth and recovery
-Example : India govt ki traeef : from 23% unemployement rate to 6.5 % in march 2021
· Atmanirbhar bharat , reduction in repo rate etc etc
o History : future of Indian people to witness the light of independence without a tinch of violence was possible due to the thinking of Gandhi at present , during 1919 – he did tour – to keep the movement non violent
o Consitutional /legal : SC judgment in 1973 – kesavanda Bharati case – doctrine of basic structure which has lead to protection of life and liberties
o International : south kore and north korea
- South korea : using terms like tech hub , 97% literacy due to democracy vs cult leadership.
o Environment : our common future report – sustainable development , ekdum shows the point
- Israel vs other middle east countries on water wars
· Israle since 1997 – did disalniation all.
- Next part :
o Future shaped by present , but how is our present ? is it shaped by something – sometimes condn in our present would not be enough to achive our future. (economic , social , family – explained)
- What options we have? Can we change our present cond? NO
Other options : sail our ship through the tides.
- Example : APJ abdul kalam , his actions and his dream .
- Next part :
o Present is there , we do act keeping in mind our future goals yet sometimes we fail - we do fail . then waht , what is the issue?
- Why we fail ? circumstances , bad day , or some other contingencies
- Should be step back ? no
- Example ? APJ abdul kalam couldn’t become pilot and Vikram sarabhai’s failure in ISRO.
- This is not failure
- It’s a process , success would be achieved today or tomarrow – may be same and maybe different.
· How Vikram supported ISRO members to achive success in subsequent years
- Conclsuion part – Krishna quote “ karm karo fal ki chinta mat kro (doubtful)” or like end with the poem ka end or something futuristic
P.S : First essay people, and not a fan of reading poems , but still tried hands at poem. I was toh not even willing to put the poem up for people to see and laugh , but still do give honest advice regarding the poem, taaki next time I dont make a blunder like this , if its nice and workable then its good.
@whatonly @Patootie @SergioRamos @AzadHindFauz @DeekshitaP @12432TrivendrumRajdhani and others , inviting you people as this thread is not that much known so.
Great framework of the essay.In my view, you have covered most of the dimensions.
With my limited experience, maybe prioritising dimensions can be worked upon - like historical perspective in first part and later sectoral dimension.
Otherwise, you have used very good examples. Analogy of APJ Abdul Kalam and Vikram Sarabhai was very good.
Also, from next time, you can try writing in proper essay format. Saying this because, in framework we (atleast me) make lots of points, but for paucity of time/space, some of the points are missed. For ex- I thought about Israel example and also linking ancient-medieval-modern history ('present') to contemporary time ('future'), but lost the flow somehow.
Keep it up :)
I have seen your essay too. You were too good in the intro but in guess in the later part you lost the plot. the part where you said what all you are going to cover did mention all sorts of thing but in the end you missed those, or maybe I missed them but end could have been made more better. You covered majorly the SPECLIH part but not the other part.
If apart from explaining the title only you could have asked some more questions to question the statement and then proved them would have brought different view. Those are missing in my framework too, I could have asked some more questions on the statement but I couldn't remember more.
My first essay, first attempt , take advice with pinch of salt (maybe handful of it).
sstarrr,@sstarrr Namaskarams.I liked the poem :) definitely a good way to start the essay, especially on such an abstract topic. Poem or anecdote is the way to go on such topics I think.You covered all the general dimensions nicely, have good examples. Education would be a good addition as Señor Ramos suggested. I really admire how deep you went into each topic. Also like your idea of laying out meanings of present and future in your second para.One suggestion :)This model of social, economic, political etc may itself be getting a little too common. Given that it is an abstract essay, you have some more room to explore the idea itself somewhat philosophically, if you wish to, rather than jumping straight into the various angles. You did this towards the end. I would suggest think some more on this. Your PSIR optional will definitely help.For example, the fact that the future is shaped by the present may seem obvious to most of us today, but it was not so for many centuries. When humans lived at the mercy of nature, before civilisation reached the heights it has today, their future did not seem to be very related to their actions in the present - they didn’t know that they would harvest a crop in the future if they sowed seeds in the present. The realisation dawned slowly on them, and as it dawned, humans gained an increasing amount of control over their own lives. It is still dawning today, and we should not take it for granted. It is an achievement of our collective intellect and ingenuity. Besides, like the early humans didn’t understand where their food would come from, today’s humans sometimes don’t understand that if we don’t act to avert climate change in the present, future generations will bear the costs.
This is just one way it might be explored. There are going to be many others. Given that topics are getting more and more abstract, this touch of originality is important in my opinion. The SPELICH is always a good fallback, but you can explore more :)
Thanks . I didn't plan to write social or other perspectives as such , rather than use them as an example with an statement in starting or something. Even I wanted the part which I did later on to be more but couldn't gather more points. Surely would keep ur points in mind for next essay. :)
whatonly,Thanks El Capitano.Looks like we might have low attendance today :p
Anyway, please review my essay if anyone gets time. Wrote on 2nd topic - The future depends on what we do in the present.
Thanks.
Nice essay mate.
One thing if I may, if you write something, although you mean the same thing, just express it using different words. Like where you mentioned what you want, phrases like 'we want' and 'we need' regarding things that need to be done were oft repeated. Instead of writing we need, you can write It is a must. In place of we want, you can also twist it with something like A good thing to do would be. These sort of things. Just frame the sentence a bit differently so they do not sound monotone. :)
From Someone who suffered from this monotone problem, Trust me, this will vastly improve the readability and enjoyability of the essay. :)
SergioRamos,@sstarrr Namaskarams.I liked the poem :) definitely a good way to start the essay, especially on such an abstract topic. Poem or anecdote is the way to go on such topics I think.You covered all the general dimensions nicely, have good examples. Education would be a good addition as Señor Ramos suggested. I really admire how deep you went into each topic. Also like your idea of laying out meanings of present and future in your second para.One suggestion :)This model of social, economic, political etc may itself be getting a little too common. Given that it is an abstract essay, you have some more room to explore the idea itself somewhat philosophically, if you wish to, rather than jumping straight into the various angles. You did this towards the end. I would suggest think some more on this. Your PSIR optional will definitely help.For example, the fact that the future is shaped by the present may seem obvious to most of us today, but it was not so for many centuries. When humans lived at the mercy of nature, before civilisation reached the heights it has today, their future did not seem to be very related to their actions in the present - they didn’t know that they would harvest a crop in the future if they sowed seeds in the present. The realisation dawned slowly on them, and as it dawned, humans gained an increasing amount of control over their own lives. It is still dawning today, and we should not take it for granted. It is an achievement of our collective intellect and ingenuity. Besides, like the early humans didn’t understand where their food would come from, today’s humans sometimes don’t understand that if we don’t act to avert climate change in the present, future generations will bear the costs.
This is just one way it might be explored. There are going to be many others. Given that topics are getting more and more abstract, this touch of originality is important in my opinion. The SPELICH is always a good fallback, but you can explore more :)
Have you read Sapiens by any chance ? Felt as if someone is summarising that book :)
12432TrivendrumRajdhani,
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