Hello friends, Chai peelo!
Well before someone else starts to call me out names after reading this post, let me categorically state this out here: YES, I am also a frustrated aspirant. Before you jump the guns to judge me, I would urge that you read the entire post.
Now we have that out of our ways, allow me to list down two more, basic facts of this journey:
1. Toppers are simply the hard workers who got LUCKY.
2. Toppers are over-hyped. As an act of selection
Someone here stated that one who gets selected in the 60-70 rank range and fails to get home cadre is also not happy. Let me tell you a secret, the one's who got rank 1 are also not happy :). We have seen in past certain toppers resigning from the service after their selection, toppers committing suicide, and toppers indulging in all things forbidden by our very dear GS paper 4 ethics. When I say toppers I mean those who made it to the list.
The journey of a TRUE civil servant (key word being TRUE) is one of numerous setbacks, ongoing struggles and handicaps with hints of happiness at times, those too you have to find on your own and will not be served on a platter. A very senior now retired IAS officer said that the most innovative and productive years of a bureaucrat are the ones before his selection and after his retirement, as for every thing in the middle they simply are pushing files. At least for 95% of them. For the remaining 5%, well they are on a constant "Cadre Darshan" throughout the period of their service, but when they do get the chance they do miracles we all read about in books. Even today of the 180 IAS officers who graduate out of the coveted LBSNAA maybe 4 will break out of the routine. For the remaining 176 will simply tow the line and enjoy lives in the status quo.
The search for happiness is an ongoing pursuit for both the ones who get selected and for those who did not...besides there is also a race to prevent one from falling into frustration and we as human geniuses have devised ways for that...
1. The selected ones, or at least most of them follow in the footsteps of the best of the best, trying to imitate them in the hope that maybe one day they will also be held in such a high regard. One very unique way of doing this in today's time is the social media. You will find several of our bureaucrat friends super active on social media, seeking constant validation and being more of SM influencers than being civil servants, vying for that holy blue tick mark. While forgetting all the knowledge they acquired on digital divide that exists in the country while preparing for GS3. Their SM handles are a constant ad campaign true to the words "Jo Dikhta hai, wo bikta hai". Retweeting their praises while comfortably ignoring the difficult questions.
2. The less fortunate ones, after shedding tears over their failures try to look upto the selected candidates and others. eg. Hey that person made it to the list in their 6th attempt, what if I failed in my 5th attempt, if he can so can I, we both seem to be having the same trajectory. Another example: you know she wrote civil services but couldn't get selected and exhausted her attempts. despite that, look how successful she is today, if she can I can too.
Now the problem here is that in both cases, these people are trying to walk the path which is not at all their own and in the process getting frustrated and at lost times lost. They end up losing their own identities and try to mold themselves into something which they are not. We do so because it gives us a comfort, warmth knowing that someone was here in this exact spot before us and look where they are right now. While doing this we get so busy imitating the other person that we forget to work on our ourselves. We forget the very basic concept of that each one of us is unique, something which we all are have been guilty of quoting at some point or the other in our civil services journey, as this journey makes us all a bit philosophical.
I mean. if you are the lucky ones who are through the gates congratulations! nothing like that, I hope that you'll hold your principles and flight for them as ferociously as you did while writing that GS4 or giving that interview and will live by them for the next 30-40years of your service to the nation.
For those who were not able to make it, I guess it's time to dust off yourself and put yourself back in the fight. If your resources permit. Back in the fight, as YOURSELF and not as the candidate the story of whose journey from failure to success you think you can replicate after reading it in a blog.
In lives we must strive to be (this is my way of thinking), in this order:
1. RESOURCEFUL- because we can only help our fellow citizens when we have an unique skill or monetary prowess to put to use.
2. USEFUL- once you are resourceful you must be willing and compassionate enough to put your resources to use.
3. INFLUENTIAL- once you check the boxes for 1 & 2, you automatically get recognized sooner or later and this recognition must be put to use to benefit more and more people with your resourcefulness and usefulness. Influence is simply the by-product of the first two.
When we try to mess with this order we find ourselves to be frustrated and being shallow. As we see these days the priority for most of us is simply of being influential, while 1 & 2 rarely get the attention they deserve.
I just hope that wherever your life takes you, it's a journey that you can call your own. It's a journey that is full of struggles, learning, pain and heartbreaks. For it's only the ones who have faced the adversities can look life in the face and smile at it. So maybe this entire journey, with it's UPSC pit-stop is life's way of making you that person. Whether you get selected or not is an entirely different topic, but let me tell you this, that selection is not going to make you a better person, it's not going to transform your personality, it's not going to set everything in your life right.
The only way to do it is, if you do it yourself. Selection in civil services is probably just a by-product, one of the many.
Best wishes,
Your fellow frustrated candidate :D
