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UPSC CSE NOT-SUCCESSFUL-YET PAIN STORIES !

Share your pain , frustration, regrets and future plans here. Once you vent out your feelings now, you will definitely feel better. This will also motivate others to write about their experience post-failure in CSE attempts. So that people get to know that THEY ARE NOT ALONE ! Try it. 


#Sharing_is_Caring #Hum_Hongey_Kamyaab_Ek_Din !! 

Neyawn , HueyFreeman and 23 others like this
47.5k views

72 comments

I have never understood the logic of people who have not made it into the list asking advice from people who have made it to the list. They have made it. But We hold all the important lessons. Totally appreciating this initiative.

This was my 5th attempt , 3rd mains and 1st interview. I was pretty confident I'd be in the list - atleast somewhere near the bottom. But I wasn't. The uncertainty of this exam is too huge and the risk we take is equally humongous. I'm sure that failure in this exam doesn't measure who I am . Same applies for victory in this exam too.

Opportunities for decent jobs are available. But I have decided to give one more try at this exam. Definitely UPSC is not going to be my only focus this time. I'm going to focus on opportunities that give me job security simultaneously. The pandemic has closed many job avenues. Prelims is 50 days away. And this kind of makes my choice easier.

My advice to younger aspirants would be to have a pragmatic approach towards this exam. It's just another job. We can adore it ; but glorifying it is not gonna help you. High chances of getting caught in this never ending vicious cycle.

Make every attempt your best attempt. Get in soon or get out soon.

All the best!

mightyraju, Naadan_Parinda and 37 others like this
23.9k views

This was my 3rd attempt, wrote all 3 mains of CSE and Ifos, appeared in 4 interviews (2 cse and 2 ifos). I was very sure of getting into final list of Cse this time, but dint, For 2 days I still believed that result is yet to come and my name would be there. I don't know what to do and how much more effort would I need to put in. There is a sense of exhaustion, disbelief and numbness. In earlier attempts I made mistakes in optionals and ethics but this time I have worked really hard for that. Interview has never been my forte and is one of the reason for my rejections. But this time I have never felt that satisfied before.

Regarding future, I don't know how to proceed. But deep inside I know I could do it and I will do it. 

#downbutnotout 

#bestrongcomrades 

#weshallovercomeoneday

mightyraju, Naadan_Parinda and 22 others like this
23.7k views
Announcing this.
Dora-the_Explorer, Raillife and 4 others like this
23.3k views

I have appeared in 3 attempts. First could not clear pre. Then next attempt I cleared pre but could not clear mains( by 100 marks). This time it was third attempt. I cleared mains but failed in interview. Since marks have not come but I expect that my marks were +20 cutoff. Journey has been a learning experience. Hopes are high for cse 2020.

My advice to younger aspirants is that study less but focus on quality aspects.150-200 words answers does not require extensive knowledge. Clarity of topic is required. If this approach is followed then aspirants plug the loopholes in subsequent attempts instead of preparing new and exhaustive sources where I failed. 

Last but not least- you all want a responsibility which requires patience. Upsc exam journey is best to inculcate this quality . 

I have seen few examples which show attempts don't matter

1st attempt-Irs but could not upgrade service even after 2 more attempts

2attempt ias being upset about cadre

4th attempt first selection with ias and home cadre. 

All the best. 

mightyraju, Naadan_Parinda and 15 others like this
23.5k views

Wow! This is a very important initiative. Kudos to Yo Yo. Always admired his ability to empathize. Here are my 2 cents.

Although I was fortunate to cross the line this year, I speak this from past experience. There will certainly be a feeling of hollowness but accept it. If toppers make tall claims, take it with a pinch (maybe, even a bucket) of salt. Preparation for this exam takes time, effort, and energy. It's not a cakewalk.

1) SELF: Do not be too harsh on yourself. This exam doesn't determine your worth.

2) DON'T BE IN ISOLATION: Talk to friends/family. Do not self-isolate. Avoid staying indoors for too long. Go out for a walk. Get some fresh air.

3) NO COMPARISONS: Refrain from comparisons as each one has a different starting point.

4) NO MAJOR DECISIONS: Do not take any major decisions in haste. More often than not, you may not have thought through it properly.

5) GAIN PERSPECTIVE: Many others are in a far worse situation (our migrant workers during the lockdown, refugees in West Asia, victims of the Beirut blast, families affected by the pandemic, etc.). You are in a much better situation.

6) PRACTICE GRATITUDE: Be thankful for the smallest of things. Are you in good health? Are you able to eat 3 square meals a day? Do you have a roof to stay under? Do you have a family? Do you have access to electricity, clean water supply, internet etc.? Well, count yourselves lucky! Many others don't! Also, treat this as a welcome break because you also get more time to spend with your family. Tomorrow when you get selected, you won't have this luxury.

7) BOOKS AND MOVIES: Read good books (Viktor Frankl's story, Sapiens, Guns Germs & Steel etc.) and watch inspirational movies (Shawshank Redemption, Forrest Gump, Good Will Hunting, October Sky, M S Dhoni etc.). Some examples I could think of. Others may add more.

8) EXERCISE: Exercise regularly at least for 30 mins/day (Nike Training app is excellent; do burpees, squats, push-ups etc.). Include meditation too (10 mins mindfulness meditation on YouTube serves the purpose. There are apps too).

9) THINK BEYOND THE EXAM: Tomorrow, you will face bigger challenges as a civil servant. Whatever you are going through is only making you stronger and more resilient.

10) MOVING ON: Even if you have decided to move on, don't have any guilt or regrets. You have given your best. In an exam where there is enormous competition, luck also plays a part. Your energies can be put to better use elsewhere. There are so many opportunities awaiting you. Just look around. If anything, preparation for this exam has given you greater exposure. You can take decisions more wisely.

Good luck! We are unique and special. And we have to truly believe that. This will transform our mindset. Life will surely reward us. It's only a matter of time. :blush:

PS: For those giving Prelims, it's around 50 days away. Nice way to forget everything and focus all the energy there.

mightyraju, Naadan_Parinda and 12 others like this
23.5k views

It's not regarding this attempt but this feeling of mine got strong after result . Since last 2-3 days I have heard success and failure stories, I have came across people who have written multiple mains and multiple interviews still not able to make to the finals and here I am failed in 2 prelims itself . I feel I stand no where in the competition . 

mightyraju, Naadan_Parinda and 6 others like this
23.4k views
It has been 4.5 years now, started in beginning of 2016. It was the 3rd attempt, wrote all three mains and this was the 2nd interview. Was hoping to be somewhere there but was not. Initial feeling was of shock and numbness, felt like the journey is now officially over. But in last 2-3 days, tried to regroup whatever is left to put in one more effort. Marks are not out yet but I must have faltered in mains I think. The journey ahead is hard as the enthusiasm and the spirit is not as high as it was in the last attempts. Let's see what happens.
Naadan_Parinda, peacefulwarrior and 9 others like this
22.9k views

For people who failed to clear their first interview (after 2-3 attempts)..it is natural to get disheartened. But remember that you guys made progress.

The only way you can succeed in your upcoming attempt is get out of that numbness, quickly understand your mistakes, focus on process and look forward not backwards.


When I failed to clear my first interview in 2nd attempt(in 2018), I felt really cynical about the exam. I thought I had given my best and yet process is so unfair.

I was in that negative state and it reflected in my efforts, due to which I failed to clear mains this time.(2019) and my journey took a different turn all together.


This exam has its own set of complexities, but to have a decent chance of clearing it in next attempt (if you are planning to give), try to get rid of the cynicism..be optimistic and enthusiastic, reflect the urge to improve on some short coming u can think of (trust me even rank 1 guy before the results can list his weak zones) . 

I know it's one of the toughest thing to do, after we find years of efforts failing to yield any conclusive result. But there is no other way


All the best to all. 




Naadan_Parinda, ssver2 and 10 others like this
22.6k views
@Tangent In which year you got the rank?


21.7k views
@Tangent What you are trying to convey? Prepared Mains from scratch within 3 months!!! and cleared CSE and then not able to clear it again and again? Could you please tell in which year you got through and what rank? I am just curious! 


HotBloodPrince, Devanapiyam
21.6k views
Kahani achhi hai par sachi nahi lag rahi.
Master,
21.5k views
Kahani achhi hai par sachi nahi lag rahi.

I've heard this type of story once, on YouTube channel named Hardworking Human. Mr Manish aced all the three exams upsc pre on 17th, rbi gr-B pre on 18th and cfa level 3 within a month, that too working full time in Deutschland Bank Mumbai.

21.4k views

Tangent said

Seeing all these confessions..I fear sharing my so called experience,better call it experiment with UPSC,.Few years back when I was in my last semester of graduation,my friend literally forced me to fill up this UPSC form as he believed in me more than I used to believe in myself..I never attended any coaching,,never touched any single test series,,never did any practice set papers or anything..I just went to attempt prelims after finishing all ncert nd the hindu newspapers hand made notes. I gv prelims nd forgot about it..got busy with my RBI exam and bank PO IBPS exams..I got the first shock of my life when my best buddy informed me I cleared prelims..He was more happy than me..Now bigger question was how to prepare for mains..I told him it will be foolish to even think that I will be able to cover the mains syllabus in 2-3 months,,as always he forced me to go to a bookshop in ber Sarai,,he himself purchased sm 5kg materials including 2 small booklets of upendra ias for sociology(my optional). Anyhow I appeared in mains half-heartedly,,I was so uninterested back then ki mai mains paper likhte likhte class me baki students ko dekhne lgta tha ki kon kya pahan ke aaya hai..I was so convinced ki prelims ho gya mains to aese bhi nhi hona hai bas baba(oldie) logo ka hoga..As usual after finishing exam I forgot about it and concentrated on banking exams,,got selected in IBPS PO,, interview call for CDS,nd other exams..finally Result aaya aur again it's my best friend who broke this news to me..By then I believe smthng seriously wrong with upsc or me.. for Interview preparation i joined sankalp coaching (rss ppl run it)..There I met real  bureaucrats(serving as well as retired) for first time.. I was allotted  HC gupta board..Mere jeevan ka sabse worst 45 minutes..Pta nhi kya ho gya tha uss din..In all my interview mocks I used to get good marks nd comments of veterans..But real interview me pta nhi kya hua..I straight away said ,"sorry sir,I don't know" to straight continuous 5 questions..I couldn't answer the single question of the chairman..Ekdm se feel aa rha tha ki dharti fat jaaye aur mai uss me gir jaayu..Na dharti fati..Na un logo ne mjhe jaane diya..Agle 40 minutes tak mai kaise kaise jhelta rha..My friend was waiting for me outside..He understood,,didn't ask me anything..We went to india gate nd spend whole evening there without talking to each other..Cut long story short..On result date I was sleeping,again it's my best friend who cm banging my door nd screamed loudest to announce I cleared it..Rank was not good..I managed to pass it..I was shocked nd surprised as hell.."mai janta tha tu faad dega"..He was more happy n relieved than me..I was one of the youngest officers that year..Just 21 years old..But real zindgi baki tha..After getting selected I becm serious nd got sm confidence that I can top this exam..My optional & essay marks were exceptionally good..I started preparing seriously for next year prelims..This time I was confident like never before..Failed in prelims by 1 marks..Again failed in prelims by 2 marks..Nd cycle continues till I accept I m no one in front of these buggers question setters..Asking random 100 gk gs questions with no relevance at all..My story sums up as zero to hero& again Hero to zero... Managing job & study is tough..Accept the unpredictability of upsc at earliest ,,try to make peace with yourself.. Otherwise upsc preparation have everything to make you a suicidal..Dil se nhi lene ka..Exam hai de do..Mn hai padh lo..Nhi mn hai best frnd se baat kr lo..Toppers ke strategy..Unke success stories sab bakwas hai..Ye hota to kya hota..Ye thoughts hmesa aate rhenge..Don't lose ur heart ..Don't take ur success or failure too seriously..Don't be so harsh with ur own self.. Whenever feeling low see open vast sky,,distant stars..Talk to ur near n dear ones..Hona hoga to ho jaayegaa,,load nhi lene ka..Na select hone wale turram khan hai,,naa tm koi gye gujre ho..Next attempt ke liye best of luck..

If I'm not wrong u asked for question pprs of exms like cds,capf etc conducted by upsc few days back(such questions r mostly asked by freshers). If u were selected at 21 and failed 2 prelims thereafter thn by now u must be no longer eligible fr cds and a upsc cse qualified candidate hardly cares abt capf after getting selected in upsc...also ur bio says aiming to clear pre 2020 which is what freshers aim fr when they enter the game

So u r most likely a fresher. 

Caesar, HotBloodPrince and 3 others like this
21k views

It's not regarding this attempt but this feeling of mine got strong after result . Since last 2-3 days I have heard success and failure stories, I have came across people who have written multiple mains and multiple interviews still not able to make to the finals and here I am failed in 2 prelims itself . I feel I stand no where in the competition . 

1.Last year's AIR 9 cleared Prelims for the first time in her 3rd attempt and went on to get quite a good rank.(In her own words- She even expected failing to clear Prelims in 3rd attempt also)

2. I remember Pooja Ranawat Mam failing 4 continuous Prelims. Then she cleared with a decent rank and being PSIR topper that year.

3. This year's topper Pradeep Singh started in 2012. He failed in his first 2 Prelims and stopped preparing for UPSC. Joined Police as a normal inspector. Then came back for 2017 attempt to first clear IRS and then get AIR Rank in the next attempt.


Aaagey to @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh bhi btayenge. As he says- Ham honge kamyab ek din.

Neyawn, Naadan_Parinda and 16 others like this
21.1k views

It's not regarding this attempt but this feeling of mine got strong after result . Since last 2-3 days I have heard success and failure stories, I have came across people who have written multiple mains and multiple interviews still not able to make to the finals and here I am failed in 2 prelims itself . I feel I stand no where in the competition . 

1.Last year's AIR 9 cleared Prelims for the first time in her 3rd attempt and went on to get quite a good rank.(In her own words- She even expected failing to clear Prelims in 3rd attempt also)

2. I remember Pooja Ranawat Mam failing 4 continuous Prelims. Then she cleared with a decent rank and being PSIR topper that year.

3. This year's topper Pradeep Singh started in 2012. He failed in his first 2 Prelims and stopped preparing for UPSC. Joined Police as a normal inspector. Then came back for 2017 attempt to first clear IRS and then get AIR Rank in the next attempt.


Aaagey to @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh bhi btayenge. As he says- Ham honge kamyab ek din.

+1



This year Rank 6 is also 2 prelims fail then 3rd time m sidha 6th rank... 


#Unpredictable_PSC it is :)

Neyawn, mightyraju and 14 others like this
20.9k views
From reading crush confession pages in schools to now reading UPSC Journey confessions, I have come a pretty long way, in the right direction too! :D
Bada acha sa lagta hai yaar idhar forum pe mujhe! So many genuinely nice people! :)
Neyawn, Naadan_Parinda and 31 others like this
20.4k views

Tangent said

Seeing all these confessions..I fear sharing my so called experience,better call it experiment with UPSC,.Few years back when I was in my last semester of graduation,my friend literally forced me to fill up this UPSC form as he believed in me more than I used to believe in myself..I never attended any coaching,,never touched any single test series,,never did any practice set papers or anything..I just went to attempt prelims after finishing all ncert nd the hindu newspapers hand made notes. I gv prelims nd forgot about it..got busy with my RBI exam and bank PO IBPS exams..I got the first shock of my life when my best buddy informed me I cleared prelims..He was more happy than me..Now bigger question was how to prepare for mains..I told him it will be foolish to even think that I will be able to cover the mains syllabus in 2-3 months,,as always he forced me to go to a bookshop in ber Sarai,,he himself purchased sm 5kg materials including 2 small booklets of upendra ias for sociology(my optional). Anyhow I appeared in mains half-heartedly,,I was so uninterested back then ki mai mains paper likhte likhte class me baki students ko dekhne lgta tha ki kon kya pahan ke aaya hai..I was so convinced ki prelims ho gya mains to aese bhi nhi hona hai bas baba(oldie) logo ka hoga..As usual after finishing exam I forgot about it and concentrated on banking exams,,got selected in IBPS PO,, interview call for CDS,nd other exams..finally Result aaya aur again it's my best friend who broke this news to me..By then I believe smthng seriously wrong with upsc or me.. for Interview preparation i joined sankalp coaching (rss ppl run it)..There I met real  bureaucrats(serving as well as retired) for first time.. I was allotted  HC gupta board..Mere jeevan ka sabse worst 45 minutes..Pta nhi kya ho gya tha uss din..In all my interview mocks I used to get good marks nd comments of veterans..But real interview me pta nhi kya hua..I straight away said ,"sorry sir,I don't know" to straight continuous 5 questions..I couldn't answer the single question of the chairman..Ekdm se feel aa rha tha ki dharti fat jaaye aur mai uss me gir jaayu..Na dharti fati..Na un logo ne mjhe jaane diya..Agle 40 minutes tak mai kaise kaise jhelta rha..My friend was waiting for me outside..He understood,,didn't ask me anything..We went to india gate nd spend whole evening there without talking to each other..Cut long story short..On result date I was sleeping,again it's my best friend who cm banging my door nd screamed loudest to announce I cleared it..Rank was not good..I managed to pass it..I was shocked nd surprised as hell.."mai janta tha tu faad dega"..He was more happy n relieved than me..I was one of the youngest officers that year..Just 21 years old..But real zindgi baki tha..After getting selected I becm serious nd got sm confidence that I can top this exam..My optional & essay marks were exceptionally good..I started preparing seriously for next year prelims..This time I was confident like never before..Failed in prelims by 1 marks..Again failed in prelims by 2 marks..Nd cycle continues till I accept I m no one in front of these buggers question setters..Asking random 100 gk gs questions with no relevance at all..My story sums up as zero to hero& again Hero to zero... Managing job & study is tough..Accept the unpredictability of upsc at earliest ,,try to make peace with yourself.. Otherwise upsc preparation have everything to make you a suicidal..Dil se nhi lene ka..Exam hai de do..Mn hai padh lo..Nhi mn hai best frnd se baat kr lo..Toppers ke strategy..Unke success stories sab bakwas hai..Ye hota to kya hota..Ye thoughts hmesa aate rhenge..Don't lose ur heart ..Don't take ur success or failure too seriously..Don't be so harsh with ur own self.. Whenever feeling low see open vast sky,,distant stars..Talk to ur near n dear ones..Hona hoga to ho jaayegaa,,load nhi lene ka..Na select hone wale turram khan hai,,naa tm koi gye gujre ho..Next attempt ke liye best of luck..

Hmm your story justifies your high essay score. 

PE14, Chaotic_homo
20k views

Thank you all for sharing your experiences.

Along with these can we also share our learning from each consecutive attempt, any rookie mistakes which other people could avoid.

Thanks!

19.8k views

I am as old as Gandalf in cse prep years and I have something to add.

Back in those good old days, I started off by making notes online. NCERT, eco survey, budget, newspaper, things I got wrong in prelims test series, anything you name I have made notes online. I have even made notes on niche topics like urbanisation, social empowerment etc also online. What happened as I have only now realised was that there was no connection between me and the notes that I made. Just like how ecom companies have alienated us from our local sellers I have alienated myself from my work. I could not feel it.

You know that feeling one gets when one comes across a question and vaguely remembers seeing it in his notes because of some peculiarity like he may have corrected a spelling mistake or may have underlined it, I never got it. My mind's eye was blank. Add to these the fact that the internet was and is a rabbit hole, my efficiency was always very low. I could not also sense the scale of material I have been accumulating.

Anyway, now I have nuked most of my online notes and started with pen and paper note making sitting away from the internet. I am getting printouts of most monthly news compilations instead of underlining them online. It feels good for now and the coming days will judge if I made the right decision.

I advise newbies to experiment soon with different media and stick with whatever is comfortable. Veterans can try pen and paper notemaking if they have wasted enough time online like me.

Neyawn, mightyraju and 24 others like this
19.8k views
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