Though i didnt gave this year's exam.. i have also gone through this feeling of being useless,Wrote mains twice in 14, 15(pubad was butchered in 14 that ruined my confidence forever)..cldnt clear it was heartbroken,devastated,there seemed to be no light at the end pf tunnel..thank god that my family came to rescue and took me away rrm delhi to my hometown..after some months i gathered courage to look for other exams and thankfully got a 4600 gp job in 2018, since then life have been good, got engaged to a beautiful,intelligent girl,marrying her this yr and again mustering courage to give it a go to cse 2021.
So my mesaage to all the fellow aspirants here ( although i achieved zlich in comparison to ppl here who attended multiple intws,i cldnt clear one),that cse is not the end of life, u can have a very good satisfied life outside of it, dont make it a matter of life and death, enjoy the process and try to have a backup..khush to 60-70 rank wala ias ka banda bhi nahi hoga,1 saal baad home cadre na milane par..
Ha bhai similar story although I have my own small biz. And like you said unless you actually top the exam ie rank in top 30 40 and get home cadre there will always be some dissapointment even after clearing so everything is subjective in a way and the aim should be happiness one way or the other.
Really encouraging words during these tough times.
True success is in rising after falling....
Let me share my painful story:
Year 2010 ->Passed out from a top NIT
October 2013 ->left a highly paid job and came to Delhi to prepare for Civil Services
Gave 6 attempts back to back from CSE 2014 to CSE 2019
Wrote Mains in all the attempts
Gave Interview in CSE 2016 and CSE 2019
Missed Final list narrowly in CSE 2016,also missed Reserve list by 2 marks
On 4th August 2020, i was not able to find my name in the final list again. Not able to accept the reality till now. For CSE 2019, i had given all. Wrote more than 60 tests (joined multiple test series of GS,Essay, & Public Ad) and consistently scored good marks in all the test series. Moreover, i used to get better rank/score than this year's topper (AIR-1) in Pawan Kumar Sir's Public Ad test series.But all my hardwork has become meaningless. Life has become very difficult. Since i belong to obc so still i have attempts left but no courage left inside me. It seems Yeh andheri raat kabhi khatm nahi hogi
@NWS ,@Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh , @Neyawn
About to fall on the same path. My journey started since 2017. Thinking about getting back to IT asap for backup. What do you people suggest?
I had also started in 2017. And I am now nowhere with 2 mains and 1 interview. However, I have learnt a lot during this period and I can not allow myself to go it waste. So I will write the cse again with the areas where I think I have to work like the mains part. So, I will suggest you to give at least one more attempt with your full vigour. It is just a matter of 5 months and its done.
I know its difficult, but we have to rise and defeat this.
