Open letter to parents by an aspirant preparing for Civil Services:
Dear dad & mom ,
I know every year you are desperately waiting for my name in the pdf of prelims, Mains or in final result pdf. I can understand that every year your heart goes through sorrow and pain because of my failure. I know that how society gives you lecture on my life. Thank you for tolerating all of this for me.
But trust me, today I am not sorry. Do you know, when I don't find my roll number, I feel like this is the end of the world for me. It takes days and months for me to come back to bare normal. With each successive attempts I gather the courage to prepare again. Do you know that I am getting old, more in my mind than in real ! My age is just 27 but I feel that I am 32 now.
You know that I have developed this habit of keeping this pain to myself only. Even when I cry I keep this to myself. You ask me everyday " beta are you alright? I always say I am alright, (but papa I am not.)
You know how hard it is for me to promise myself every year that this year I'll make it to the final list. My friends are having a life. They're working somewhere. Going to Goa, USA every year. Where do I go? Either my exam center or a new place to prepare.
Do you know that if I am preparing for more than 3 years it's my choice and self belief that one day I'll accomplish my dream. Do you know that you were comparing me with one techie ( anyone in your social circles ) but I know more than him when it comes to India or the world.
In the end my dear parents, I may not succeed but this is the only thing I have chosen for myself. And I wish to give it my all and have no regrets. I hope, one Day I will make you proud.
Please let me try.
Let me stay hungry, stay foolish.
