Depression/Sadness
Undergoing with huge depression and sadness. Unable to be enthusiastic and cheerful. Just want to cry and scared of people.
Kindly help.
friends, it means a lot. That you people have taken time to write such loving posts.
Kindly tell on realistic basis, complete concentration like studying and no internet breaks/youtube/ eating food - kitni der ka hona chahiye for this exam? 15 mins, 30 mins, 1 hours, 5 hours , 10 hours? Kitna?
It should be 8-10 hours on an average. People use to study for this much number of hours and so you can too. But it is possible only when you are focussed all throughout the day- from the time you wake up till the time you go to bed.
Initially you will crave for an hour of rest for each hour of study but gradually you should try to enhance your sittings hours and minimize your break time. After concerted efforts in this direction, you will manage to have one study session of 2.5-3 hours and thereafter having a break of half an hour. Everything is practice. Just be disciplined. Discipline will be your biggest tool here. Don't go after motivation for motivation is temporary.
"" Discipline will be your biggest tool here. Don't go after motivation for motivation is temporary. ""
""but can't eliminate the latter entirely."'
"" But on the bad days it will hurt you""
Thank You whatonly and Gaurav.
Very nice posts written by all here. It has given me not only idea but concrete direction of what has to be my next step. I am working on this.
If i have any doubt i will post it here.
It means a lot to me, no youtube video or website was as effective as these answers.
Deep respect to all.
Best- everyday. Nonstop.
brownianMotion,whatonly"" Discipline will be your biggest tool here. Don't go after motivation for motivation is temporary. ""
""but can't eliminate the latter entirely."'
"" But on the bad days it will hurt you""
Very nice posts written by all here. It has given me not only idea but concrete direction of what has to be my next step. I am working on this.
If i have any doubt i will post it here.
It means a lot to me, no youtube video or website was as effective as these answers.
A few things more:
1) Don't be too much emotional. I am way too emotional and I have invariably paid a heavy price for it. So, don't get swayed away by your emotions and sentiments while you are in this journey.
2) Focus on now. Don't plan for tomorrow as tomorrow never comes. Think in terms of the moment passing by like what you are doing now, how you are utilizing the present moment. If you are taking care of your present, future will automatically be taken care of. If you always plan to start something from tomorrow, I bet you will never succeed in it.
"" Discipline will be your biggest tool here. Don't go after motivation for motivation is temporary. ""
""but can't eliminate the latter entirely."'
"" But on the bad days it will hurt you""
Very nice posts written by all here. It has given me not only idea but concrete direction of what has to be my next step. I am working on this.
If i have any doubt i will post it here.
It means a lot to me, no youtube video or website was as effective as these answers.
All the very bestest :)) always happy to help
Undine,
No expectations from life or anything = No depression.Maybe too nihilistic? :O
I don't know what this word actually mean before googling it. Lol.
I have seen many failures in life myself. Being among top minds in the college and facing continuous failures could have strike me very bad. But from the very early in my life, I got sense that nobody actually cares about you except your parents. Friends are there only for selfish means, leave alone the society. Fruit you are going to get isn't proportional to work you put in, so why bother when random things are not in your control. It might be the case that you are financially poor, in that case you can't be depressed because you dont have Scorpio, you cant even afford Nano. Work to improve your financial status, dont put expectation from work and its result. There could be many similar examples. Long story short, dont expect anything even from your daily activity, do your work, get peace.
There is one good poem in Hindi, you guys might like.
Jai Shree Ram !
https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-stop-overthinking-with-help-from-metacognitive-strategies
came across this article, some good practical advice to deal with the problem of being fixated on a thought, that can have deleterious impact on your health mental peace, as well as efficiency.
Impressed to see the level of maturity here. I dont have much to add here and may sound redundant but just want to point out that treat yourself with care and be kind to yourself. Life is tough and, even more so, in the present circumstances.
Dont judge yourself with the number of hours you have read or targets you have completed and most certainly not with other people (which I personally believe is the root cause). All those can be taken care of later, but first ensure that you are happy with yourself and your own efforts. Tell this to yourself that you are the best every morning and dont let others snatch that right of yours.If you are harsh on yourself, thinking it is for the best and justifying by saying that UPSC prep needs such sacrifice, then it is pointless, unproductive and your efforts would go in vain.
If you have basic phone and internet, home to stay, eat and sleep, and spared from Covid-19 wave, trust me you are much better placed than the rest. Stay Content and Stay Safe :)
@Aarushi123do add some workout in your routine.
try this
Yes, excellent answers here. I am working on my sankalp shakti, but i must admit that i do slip.
And friends i must say thank you many times to all of you, but i must first defeat myself or win over myself.
But i deeply appreciate the help, these answers were really very helpful.
imp lines have been copied and saved my me.
Thank you so much
Best- everyday. Nonstop.
Arsene,whatonlyAs long as our happiness is dependent on how someone perceives us, we'll not be happy with ourself. Someone incapacitated to see us through our struggles, doesn't negate our struggles. Envision happiness in your dream(s), keep up the sadhana.
Falling once, twice, thrice or never, are circumstances. There could be more than one reason for falling. To fall is natural. Mere existence of us in these battle's is evidence to our will to be happy, make happiness!
As long as our happiness is dependent on how someone perceives us, we'll not be happy with ourself. Someone incapacitated to see us through our struggles, doesn't negate our struggles. Envision happiness in your dream(s), keep up the sadhana.
Falling once, twice, thrice or never, are circumstances. There could be more than one reason for falling. To fall is natural. Mere existence of us in these battle's is evidence to our will to be happy, make happiness!
Yes, to this. Being the “bright one” in college to being an absolute nobody in the span of few months took a massive hit on my self esteem. Failing the prelims twice after that made it even worse. I started wondering if I’d wasted my life, and my potential. People started looking at me with pity as if it was such a mistake to waste my talents with multiple UPSC attempts instead of just pursuing a career in academics.
But months of soul searching (ironically when people were having a hard time in 2020, I was learning to make slow progress) I realised that what mattered was who we were when we were stripped away of all our achievements. That essential core is what I had to figure out and be accountable for, and be proud of. The rest of the achievements, the people, they could come and go but that would remain the same. From then onwards, it has been a happy journey, like “yes I’m a loser in your eyes, what are you going to do about it?”
Thank you guys, thank you so so much.
Let this thread become not only about me, but for all of us.
each one of us can come here, share anything, give advice, seek help, provide opinion... anything.
Like i am sharing - I failed to abide by this for past 7 years
Very much surprised to see the image quote and the last line that you wrote! I could relate to it like no one. This particular quote is my favourite and I have always cherished it but guess what I have consistently failed to stick to it since last 8 years.
Undine,ShaktiSankalp01Friends you have really helped wrt deep sadness and how one can trick his brain to be uplifted.
My next question is, dealing with fear, hopelessness, anxiety.
Coffee, tea, choclate - all of these help in relieving stress - they help me in relishing the amazing taste, the hot sip. but this cant be an attribute of a civil servant ie depending on external things.
Being realistic on a positive orientation but extremely is very very very imp. Otherwise no big thing in world is possible.
So friends, kindly help me with mental mantra that has helped you to develop resilience and resistance -no matter what, with which you all find and carve your way and u've eased your life.
@whatonly @gaurav@mehuifs
Best- everyday. Nonstop.
Undine,being a doctor,i suggest thatFriends you have really helped wrt deep sadness and how one can trick his brain to be uplifted.
My next question is, dealing with fear, hopelessness, anxiety.
Coffee, tea, choclate - all of these help in relieving stress - they help me in relishing the amazing taste, the hot sip. but this cant be an attribute of a civil servant ie depending on external things.
Being realistic on a positive orientation but extremely is very very very imp. Otherwise no big thing in world is possible.
So friends, kindly help me with mental mantra that has helped you to develop resilience and resistance -no matter what, with which you all find and carve your way and u've eased your life.
@whatonly @gaurav@mehuifs
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