Very relatable.I guess it happens with many aspirants or people in general.

Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance. -Jean-Paul Satre

This quote though depressing in itself, gives a lot of motivation to me. It helps me to design my life in my own ways. As nothing really matters, so just do what you like or think is right and simply enjoy life. 

Your self confidence is your reputation with yourself. At least this has been my experience. Trust me, you are the only person who knows yourself truly. Try to write down things you want to do, and then track and do them. That itself , with due passage of time will increase your trust on yourself, your will power and your self confidence.

It is not really necessary for you to be successful in terms of results to be confident, though it is a major boost. But able to do the things you wanted to do also does wonders to your self confidence. 

Also a little bit of faith on oneself, always has to be there.

All you really got is you.

Dont doubt him/ her.

I hope writing here helped you. It's not only you my dear, most of us are in similar situation. And as you said no amount of meditation or motivation is helping you during such times. And talking about parents, i can feel you my friend, happens with me daily. But you know what ? When exam approaches near, that's the only time when all these things start clouding our focus more and more and that is the test of life. Even I have failed this exam multiple times because of my mistakes. And I always used to have this fear about my parents, my future etc etc especially a month or so before prelims. Because that's the nature of most of the competitive exams specifically the ones which have around one year or longer cycle, we keep toiling whole year and then suddenly we get out in one of the stages and then we've to repeat the cycle again and when the attempts keeps on piling then our frustration and fears about everything start feeling real. But this just happens with all of us, if me telling you this helps a bit. But in the end, this one month is very crucial for us and I feel the real competition is between the ones who can have nerves of steel and can somehow push oneself hard in this month. Please just forget about everything else at this point of time, I know it is difficult to avoid the pain in the eyes of our parents, but if you will let this thing affect you now then it'll be a recipe for disaster. So please try to be brutally selfish and self centred in this last one month and focus completely on your preparation. I know it's not easy to avoid all the personal issues in life suddenly, so for that i'll suggest you do this: whenever you're having this guilt feeling with respect to your parents or any of your personal issues or you not being able to qualify in your previous attempts etc, during such moments, just take pen and paper and write down whatever is coming to your mind and after finishing this writeup, just promise yourself to think more about it after 5th june and then just keep that paper away and get back to your work. And follow what@Neyawn said, he is the best guide I have ever seen for cse exam. 
Though I know the nature of exam is such that nobody can guarantee us success. But in the end after your 6 attempts you shouldn't be regretting thinking that you couldn't qualify just because you couldn't handle stress before the exam. I know it is easier said than done and you might be having big issues in life at present, but sometimes as@Philosopher94 said "We suffer more in imagination than in reality"

So, please be truthful and have some courage, confidence and trust in yourself and try to give your best without thinking about any other issues in life. I'm sure if those issues aren't too big then they can wait for 40 days atleast. 

All the very best 

And sorry if any of my words were too harsh.

At last I would like to quote few lines form Viktor E Frankl's Book 'Man's Search for Meaning' : 

Life is like being at the dentist. You always think that the worst is still to come, and yet it is over already.

Everyone has written very valid points. Here i would just like to share a 2019 post written by @Neyawn sir. Relevent portion of the post titled " the secret ingredient to last 30 days of prelims+ winning the endgame" is here-

"#1 Stop Asking the BIG Questions

Right now, if your mind is asking the big questions –

• is it really worth it?
• Is it worth the pain – giving up on the job I quit,
• the EOL I took,
• the person I sacrificed for this,
• or simply the foundation course I missed[2].

And even if you have not sacrificed anything for it, probably stop thinking about what you will do after getting IAS a year from now [3]. No day dreaming, no asking absurd questions or questions whose answers are not in the format of a) b) c) d)

MCQs are all the questions you need to ask and answer. No questions on what is the meaning of life.

You know what I mean. Right now, we need is action. And effort. Least of all thinking. So stop thinking. Start doing. Stop worrying about things that won’t happen or won’t matter eventually in the first place.

In short, stop those voices in your head."

Link to read complete post- https://blog.forumias.com/the-secret-ingredient-to-last-30-days-of-prelims-winning-the-endgame/

Most of my frnds making a fat paycheck, going on a sexy vacation, falunting their iphones in convocation pics, their social media posts look like they have a fancy life. Yet, when I met them many of them have had mental health issues and were unhappy with something or other. 

I dont know why but there is something wrong with our generation. Ours (aspirants) is a different case altogether, but no one is happy!

Thoughts?

A 29 year old me on his 3rd attempt feels your anger and frustration friend.

'...Too young to hold on

Also, sometimes we are just too hard and unfair to ourselves. 

"feeling of not doing anything abstract or material worth is taking a toll"

Endure it brother. That's the stuff champions are made of: endurance, perseverance, indomitable will. CSE is not just any random job that you can do. It entails a certain level of status precisely because of the cut throat competition. You are competing with the cream of this country, and you are bound to witness your failures. Most of the successful aspirants have experienced this "toll", and endured it.

Don't try to fight this "toll" or try to conquer it. Rather, absorb it like a sponge. What helps me is the age old saying , repeated many times by wise people again and again, and first propounded by Lord Krishna to Arjuna in Bhagwad Gita: "You are here to do your duty, your dharma is to fight the evil. It is not your dharma to think about results of the war, or if violence is a bad thing or not. You are a part of karma cycle, and you have been born on Earth as a part of that cycle, and after doing your duty properly, you shall go away and someone else will come and do this. This is the eternal law".

One more example, when Guru Gobind Singh was given the news of death of his two youngest children (aged 6 and 9-Veer Bal diwas for their martyrdom was recently recognized by Modi Govt), instead of crying or feeling sorrow, the Guru uttered, " Tera Bhana meetha laage" (Your will is the sweet prasad). here, Guru thanked God for this sweet offering. How can death of one's own children be sweet? Well, if you really believe in fate and karma, then you have no other option but to accept that this is God's plan for you. All you can do, is to do your duty/dharma, and leave the results as it is.

So, as an aspirant, your duty/dharma is to study, meet targets, cover syllabus and earnestly pray that some luck falls into your lap on D-day. I know it is easier said than done, but if even mighty warriors like Arjuna and Guru Gobind Singh  ( and many others..) got help by this saying, then I always think we are nothing in front of them, imagine how much benefit this line can bring in our lives. As for your "worth" brother, a few pennies in bank account don't measure the worth of your courageous spirit that decided to compete here, and persist even after failures. CSE is testing your limits, please avoid self-pity and self-criticism, rather be a warrior and absorb everything. With this approach, your mental peace comes and doubt/uncertainty/stress goes away. Happened with me, hope it helps you too.  

It's not about how hard you can hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done-Rocky Balboa. 

Wow!

This is pure wisdom we need in life in general not just CSE. 

Please write more often. 

I came here searching for some wisdom, still looking to others for it in my old old age, mine hasn't come about yet. I was asked about my age and attempts and the usual questions just now, and as it always does, it rattled me. 

The answers here are comforting, and motivating. None of us are facing this alone, there's a bit of comfort in that. If we are standing at the edge of a cliff and there is someone right beside us, maybe the winds won't be able to blow us away.

Thank you@byteman for this thread. And@jassikamboj16303 your comment was so wise. Thank you@Diehard.

Thanks@Omen and@Fireheart . I am just passing on the message of our traditions, nothing of my own creations. Though I do like to weave the message into our daily struggles, for that is the whole purpose.  

or Buddha's 4 fold path- the world is full of misery, cause of misery is desire, misery can be eliminated by overcoming desires. So the whole concept of happiness by money, power, status is mere illusion.