I have graduated from IIT. It's been 3.5 years in this exam prep and I could not clear even prelims in the last 4 attempts. Before this, I worked in a startup.
My father is about to retire in a few months. My brother has a rare genetic problem, he is currently not working. My mother has some series neuro problems, she has been on medications for the last 25 years.
When I got into IIT, I had dreams for my family. After working in corporate, I realized my life was meaningless here so I started preparing for UPSC. But at this point, I couldn't study well for prelims. I am like is it all worth it? I have a fear of failure at its peak. I am like I should do something where at least I could see tangible progress in terms of skill, learning, and growth.
I know that I should focus on prelims now but I am having lots of negative thoughts in my head about my decision to aspire to be an IAS.
I could have rejoined Corporate after 2 failed attempts or prepared along with job.
Or I could have gone for an MBA from IIMs.
Or I could have gone abroad for higher studies.
Please anyone share their perspective on this.
It sounds like you are going through a very challenging and overwhelming time in your life. It's clear that you have faced numerous obstacles and setbacks, both personally and professionally, which have understandably taken a toll on your mental and emotional well-being.First and foremost, I want to acknowledge the strength and resilience it takes to continue pursuing your dream of becoming an IAS officer despite facing multiple failures in the exam. It's important to remember that failure is a natural part of any journey towards success, and it does not define your worth or capabilities as an individual.It's completely normal to question your decisions and feel uncertain about the path you have chosen, especially when faced with such difficult circumstances within your family. The pressure to succeed and provide for your loved ones can be overwhelming, but it's crucial to prioritize your own well-being and mental health during this challenging time.Considering the various options you mentioned, such as rejoining Corporate, pursuing an MBA from IIMs, or going abroad for higher studies, it's important to weigh the pros and cons of each choice based on your personal goals, values, and aspirations. While these alternatives may offer different opportunities for growth and development, it's essential to choose a path that aligns with your long-term vision and brings you fulfillment and satisfaction.If you are feeling overwhelmed by negative thoughts and self-doubt, I would encourage you to seek support from a counselor, therapist, or mentor who can provide guidance and help you navigate through this difficult period. Talking to someone about your fears and anxieties can provide clarity and perspective on your situation, allowing you to make informed decisions moving forward.Remember that it's okay to take a step back, reassess your goals, and explore different paths that may lead you towards a fulfilling and meaningful career. Your worth is not defined by your successes or failures, but by your resilience, determination, and willingness to keep moving forward despite the challenges you face.Ultimately, the most important thing is to prioritize your well-being and happiness above all else. Take the time to reflect on what truly matters to you, what brings you joy and fulfillment, and make decisions that align with your values and aspirations. You have already shown incredible strength and perseverance in pursuing your dreams, and I have no doubt that you will find the path that is right for you.
What can I *ever* do for you? You have put this so well.
I am no knight. Do not call me Sir|Philosophy behind ForumIAS
I am no knight. Do not call me Sir|Philosophy behind ForumIAS
Tarzann,
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