Hey everyone. I have written mains recently and I have observed so many things. The experience itself teaches us so many lessons and makes us think. And one thing I have noticed predominantly is the issue of overweight among the aspirants. And not just overweight but obesity. UPSC can be a long journey for most of us. Mental issues affect our eating and sleeping habits. The sedentary lifestyle, sitting for many hours throughout the day can make our legs weak and body older biologically.
Personally, I have reduced 20 kgs of weight before Prelims, but turns out I have gained 6kgs again during those 3 months for Mains. I have been harsh on myself for gaining weight. Especially when I can feel it sitting at the study table. It felt embarrassing. It doesnt stop with me. Similar stories have been shared by many of our friends across different threads on this Forum. I see young UPSC aspirants losing hair not just because of stress but lack of good nutrition. Personally I feel more confident when I am healthy physically and mentally. Both reinforcing each other.
This problem has no divisions. Men, Women and others-everyone face it. I realized there is nothing to be embarrassed about it. We have to be healthy. We deserve to be. We cant sacrifice our health and sleep. Many reports are saying non-communicable diseases like Diabetes and heart diseases are on rise among us youth!!
Let us create a thread in this community where we seek all-round development to crack this exam. There is a dearth of such discussions in our field. Forum provides us with a great place to start and mainstream this aspect of our journey during the preparation. I hope all of you participate everyday on this thread. All the fitness freaks can help people like me, maybe I can help others about how I lost 20kgs, we can motivate each other, track progress, share knowledge, food habits etc...Since the mental and physical issues are both correlated, this thread is not strictly limited to just physical health. However, the idea surrounds the physical health issues and is based on it.
Lets do this!
I don’t want to wake up, or study or do anything. This happened during mains prep and therefore i messed up mains as well. I have seen therapists but even after months of sessions nothing seem to help. I also took anti-depressants as prescribed but I discontinued as it didn’t seem to lift my mood.I am only on my phone and browsing reddit or YouTube. I just don’t know how to come out of this vicious cycle. Any suggestions?This is very difficult for me to put down on a public platform. Sorry if it triggers anyone.
I would also like to add that I engage in a whole lot of stress eating. Would like to stop that as well.
Tried IF but when my anxiety goes up, food goes in 😒
I don’t want to wake up, or study or do anything. This happened during mains prep and therefore i messed up mains as well. I have seen therapists but even after months of sessions nothing seem to help. I also took anti-depressants as prescribed but I discontinued as it didn’t seem to lift my mood.I am only on my phone and browsing reddit or YouTube. I just don’t know how to come out of this vicious cycle. Any suggestions?This is very difficult for me to put down on a public platform. Sorry if it triggers anyone.
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I don’t want to wake up, or study or do anything. This happened during mains prep and therefore i messed up mains as well. I have seen therapists but even after months of sessions nothing seem to help. I also took anti-depressants as prescribed but I discontinued as it didn’t seem to lift my mood.I am only on my phone and browsing reddit or YouTube. I just don’t know how to come out of this vicious cycle. Any suggestions?This is very difficult for me to put down on a public platform. Sorry if it triggers anyone.Hi bhai , willing to help u if i can.
Where have u been living as of now? Home or someplace like orn ?
Unfortunately no, I am back at home. But yeah I have toxic environment here as well. Also I am a female. Thank you for trying to help :) that’s so kind of you.
What kind of therapy have you taken? CBT? Have you tried meditation, exercise? Don't be afraid to share. There are many who feel or have felt the similar way at times during this preparation journey, myself included.I don’t want to wake up, or study or do anything. This happened during mains prep and therefore i messed up mains as well. I have seen therapists but even after months of sessions nothing seem to help. I also took anti-depressants as prescribed but I discontinued as it didn’t seem to lift my mood.I am only on my phone and browsing reddit or YouTube. I just don’t know how to come out of this vicious cycle. Any suggestions?This is very difficult for me to put down on a public platform. Sorry if it triggers anyone.Hi bhai , willing to help u if i can.
Where have u been living as of now? Home or someplace like orn ?
Unfortunately no, I am back at home. But yeah I have toxic environment here as well. Also I am a female. Thank you for trying to help :) that’s so kind of you.
What kind of therapy have you taken? CBT? Have you tried meditation, exercise? Don't be afraid to share. There are many who feel or have felt the similar way at times during this preparation journey, myself included.I don’t want to wake up, or study or do anything. This happened during mains prep and therefore i messed up mains as well. I have seen therapists but even after months of sessions nothing seem to help. I also took anti-depressants as prescribed but I discontinued as it didn’t seem to lift my mood.I am only on my phone and browsing reddit or YouTube. I just don’t know how to come out of this vicious cycle. Any suggestions?This is very difficult for me to put down on a public platform. Sorry if it triggers anyone.Hi bhai , willing to help u if i can.
Where have u been living as of now? Home or someplace like orn ?
Unfortunately no, I am back at home. But yeah I have toxic environment here as well. Also I am a female. Thank you for trying to help :) that’s so kind of you.
My therapist was mostly engaging in talk therapy. CBT was supposed to start but my exams and everything halted that process. Also I wasn’t comfortable with the therapist and her style. I did meditation through headspace. I am going through ptsd due to a certain incident, I already had issues before that. But I haven’t recovered from that ptsd, it’s been a year.
Thank you for asking. I think I’ll go back to therapy and try a different therapist this time.
I don’t want to wake up, or study or do anything. This happened during mains prep and therefore i messed up mains as well. I have seen therapists but even after months of sessions nothing seem to help. I also took anti-depressants as prescribed but I discontinued as it didn’t seem to lift my mood.I am only on my phone and browsing reddit or YouTube. I just don’t know how to come out of this vicious cycle. Any suggestions?This is very difficult for me to put down on a public platform. Sorry if it triggers anyone.
I can relate..bcz few days ago I was dealing with the same situation..was finding ways so that I can't study..! See buddy padhne ka mann tabhi nahi krta hai jab yaa to bahot mehnat kr li ho( I mean so many productive days) yaa fir expected kaam naa kiya ho.. It might sound melodramatic but ask yourself ki by investing your time in all these things what kind of risk are you inviting..!
Secondly..if you are not able to study please don't..cz wo irritation alag hi hoti hai jab Mann bhi kre aur padhna bhi nahi hai...Try doing meditation..(some beneficial classes are there i can send you) Take your time and spend your day about thinking yourself..I understand your situation right now .but the fact is in any case Padhai to krni hi hai...Paper pass aa rha hai Bro..! So let's take you out from that zone..( As Pam use to find her own ways in "The office")
At the end...pta nahi whatever I said is relevant or not but yes I felt like this is so me(few days ago)..All the best Pam..:)
Yeah that is a good idea. I think it is very important that you are comfortable with the therapist and the therapy is the right kind of therapy for you. I have been taking psychoanalytic therapy, which is kind of talk therapy only. I was lucky to find a good therapist and it has been helping me. Other than that, what helped me most I think is the realization that no matter how comfortable the cocoon of self-pity feels and how hard taking responsibility seems, my well being is finally in my own hands. Not trying to be judgemental though, your situation could be different.My therapist was mostly engaging in talk therapy. CBT was supposed to start but my exams and everything halted that process. Also I wasn’t comfortable with the therapist and her style. I did meditation through headspace. I am going through ptsd due to a certain incident, I already had issues before that. But I haven’t recovered from that ptsd, it’s been a year.
Thank you for asking. I think I’ll go back to therapy and try a different therapist this time.
Yeah that is a good idea. I think it is very important that you are comfortable with the therapist and the therapy is the right kind of therapy for you. I have been taking psychoanalytic therapy, which is kind of talk therapy only. I was lucky to find a good therapist and it has been helping me. Other than that, what helped me most I think is the realization that no matter how comfortable the cocoon of self-pity feels and how hard taking responsibility seems, my well being is finally in my own hands. Not trying to be judgemental though, you situation could be different.What kind of therapy have you taken? CBT? Have you tried meditation, exercise? Don't be afraid to share. There are many who feel or have felt the similar way at times during this preparation journey, myself included.I don’t want to wake up, or study or do anything. This happened during mains prep and therefore i messed up mains as well. I have seen therapists but even after months of sessions nothing seem to help. I also took anti-depressants as prescribed but I discontinued as it didn’t seem to lift my mood.I am only on my phone and browsing reddit or YouTube. I just don’t know how to come out of this vicious cycle. Any suggestions?This is very difficult for me to put down on a public platform. Sorry if it triggers anyone.Hi bhai , willing to help u if i can.
Where have u been living as of now? Home or someplace like orn ?
Unfortunately no, I am back at home. But yeah I have toxic environment here as well. Also I am a female. Thank you for trying to help :) that’s so kind of you.
My therapist was mostly engaging in talk therapy. CBT was supposed to start but my exams and everything halted that process. Also I wasn’t comfortable with the therapist and her style. I did meditation through headspace. I am going through ptsd due to a certain incident, I already had issues before that. But I haven’t recovered from that ptsd, it’s been a year.
Thank you for asking. I think I’ll go back to therapy and try a different therapist this time.
Thank you… Glad you are doing well now
sbhati,BraveHey@Pam123!
I hope you feel better super soon!
Do you have any hobby that takes your mind off everything else for the moment? If yes, then try indulging in it for a few days guilt-free.
Do you have any friends whose place you can crash for a few days and chill, relax and shake off the stress and get some fresh breath away from the toxic environment? If yes, then please try to catch up with them the next weekend or whenever is convenient to you. A little breather works like wonder in such situations.
Do you like listening to podcasts? If yes, then, you can explore an app called "simple habit". It is a kind of guided meditation. But even if not as a meditation, you just listen to it as a podcast. Most of the routines are small too. It won't even need a lot of effort from your side. It has helped me with my triggers quite a few times.
For the phone, you can put in any habit tracker (I use "yourhour"). Put a timer on it. Initially for a few hours on each app so that you can slowly and sustainably bring the usage down.
I would really suggest you to try a morning walk (at any time for that matter- afternoon, evening, night) for a few days. whenever I am feeling low for a few days continuously, going for a walk really elevates the mood. Going to the park, seeing the sunlight, trees, birds momentarily helps in keeping the worries and stress away. This small window helps me assess and think about how I should proceed in the given situations. And surprisingly I think much more clearly and coherently during these times than even when I work with high focus.
Just try to get a small breather and a window of escape in whatever way possible. Be it with indulging in a hobby, spending time with friends, going for a walk, meditating or any other thing that has been working for you in such situations in the past. It will help you immensely by figuring out how you should go about in your specific situations.
Yeah that is a good idea. I think it is very important that you are comfortable with the therapist and the therapy is the right kind of therapy for you. I have been taking psychoanalytic therapy, which is kind of talk therapy only. I was lucky to find a good therapist and it has been helping me. Other than that, what helped me most I think is the realization that no matter how comfortable the cocoon of self-pity feels and how hard taking responsibility seems, my well being is finally in my own hands. Not trying to be judgemental though, your situation could be different.My therapist was mostly engaging in talk therapy. CBT was supposed to start but my exams and everything halted that process. Also I wasn’t comfortable with the therapist and her style. I did meditation through headspace. I am going through ptsd due to a certain incident, I already had issues before that. But I haven’t recovered from that ptsd, it’s been a year.
Thank you for asking. I think I’ll go back to therapy and try a different therapist this time.
+ 1
Relate with every word you said..
sbhati,ToBeDiplomat
I don’t want to wake up, or study or do anything. This happened during mains prep and therefore i messed up mains as well. I have seen therapists but even after months of sessions nothing seem to help. I also took anti-depressants as prescribed but I discontinued as it didn’t seem to lift my mood.I am only on my phone and browsing reddit or YouTube. I just don’t know how to come out of this vicious cycle. Any suggestions?This is very difficult for me to put down on a public platform. Sorry if it triggers anyone.
I had a frnd who was in similar situation 3 months before 2019 pre. Anti depressants, CBT (I believe India lacks quality therapists) nothing worked.
He started following a simple plan ie facing life one day at a time. In the morning he ensured that he will get out of bed no matter how bad or disinterested he was feeling,go to the library and give his 10-12 hrs trying to study. First week was very difficult but with every passing week he started doing well and got his rhythm back.
So the thing is when we are facing such negative phases we just have to stop yourself from going into the negative spiral. Not getting up from bed,not studying,not doing any activities actually ends up strengthening negative energy and irrationally makes our mind believe that it can't cope with it. By taking things one day at a time we make our mind realise that it can overcome such phases and stop the negative spiral of thoughts.
No amount of motivation,meditation,anti depressants or therapies will work. The only thing which will work is doing things which we are supposed to do irrespective of how we feel. The only way to overcome it is to get through it. Promise yourself that tomorrow morning you will get out of bed and study or do some productive work and keep your mind occupied instead of sitting idle and worrying about it. Try to do this for few days(one day at a time) and then you will automatically learn how to keep things under control.
This will definitely help you in managing ur thoughts and not letting it interfere in ur daily schedule.
I don’t want to wake up, or study or do anything. This happened during mains prep and therefore i messed up mains as well. I have seen therapists but even after months of sessions nothing seem to help. I also took anti-depressants as prescribed but I discontinued as it didn’t seem to lift my mood.I am only on my phone and browsing reddit or YouTube. I just don’t know how to come out of this vicious cycle. Any suggestions?This is very difficult for me to put down on a public platform. Sorry if it triggers anyone.I had a frnd who was in similar situation 3 months before 2019 pre. Anti depressants, CBT (I believe India lacks quality therapists) nothing worked.
He started following a simple plan ie facing life one day at a time. In the morning he ensured that he will get out of bed no matter how bad or disinterested he was feeling,go to the library and give his 10-12 hrs trying to study. First week was very difficult but with every passing week he started doing well and got his rhythm back.
So the thing is when we are facing such negative phases we just have to stop yourself from going into the negative spiral. Not getting up from bed,not studying,not doing any activities actually ends up strengthening negative energy and irrationally makes our mind believe that it can't cope with it. By taking things one day at a time we make our mind realise that it can overcome such phases and stop the negative spiral of thoughts.
No amount of motivation,meditation,anti depressants or therapies will work. The only thing which will work is doing things which we are supposed to do irrespective of how we feel. The only way to overcome it is to get through it. Promise yourself that tomorrow morning you will get out of bed and study or do some productive work and keep your mind occupied instead of sitting idle and worrying about it. Try to do this for few days(one day at a time) and then you will automatically learn how to keep things under control.
This will definitely help you in managing ur thoughts and not letting it interfere in ur daily schedule.
Would you tell someone with appendicitis, no amount of medication, operation etc. will work, just walk it off?
I don’t want to wake up, or study or do anything. This happened during mains prep and therefore i messed up mains as well. I have seen therapists but even after months of sessions nothing seem to help. I also took anti-depressants as prescribed but I discontinued as it didn’t seem to lift my mood.I am only on my phone and browsing reddit or YouTube. I just don’t know how to come out of this vicious cycle. Any suggestions?This is very difficult for me to put down on a public platform. Sorry if it triggers anyone.I had a frnd who was in similar situation 3 months before 2019 pre. Anti depressants, CBT (I believe India lacks quality therapists) nothing worked.
He started following a simple plan ie facing life one day at a time. In the morning he ensured that he will get out of bed no matter how bad or disinterested he was feeling,go to the library and give his 10-12 hrs trying to study. First week was very difficult but with every passing week he started doing well and got his rhythm back.
So the thing is when we are facing such negative phases we just have to stop yourself from going into the negative spiral. Not getting up from bed,not studying,not doing any activities actually ends up strengthening negative energy and irrationally makes our mind believe that it can't cope with it. By taking things one day at a time we make our mind realise that it can overcome such phases and stop the negative spiral of thoughts.
No amount of motivation,meditation,anti depressants or therapies will work. The only thing which will work is doing things which we are supposed to do irrespective of how we feel. The only way to overcome it is to get through it. Promise yourself that tomorrow morning you will get out of bed and study or do some productive work and keep your mind occupied instead of sitting idle and worrying about it. Try to do this for few days(one day at a time) and then you will automatically learn how to keep things under control.
This will definitely help you in managing ur thoughts and not letting it interfere in ur daily schedule.
Would you tell someone with appendicitis, no amount of medication, operation etc. will work, just walk it off?
Curing disease and suppressing symptoms are two different things. I have seen people close to me taking anti depressants like benzodiazepine,SSRIs and even schedule X drugs and I can assure you it has more side effects than benefits. So if.you are looking for temporary pain relief by meds which will just make ur neurons temporarily go to sleep and make you feel.more lethargic,sleepy, disinterested thn go ahead and take them. Its like treating Your appendicitis with pain killers.
sjerngal,ToBeDiplomatHey@Pam123!
I hope you feel better super soon!
Do you have any hobby that takes your mind off everything else for the moment? If yes, then try indulging in it for a few days guilt-free.
Do you have any friends whose place you can crash for a few days and chill, relax and shake off the stress and get some fresh breath away from the toxic environment? If yes, then please try to catch up with them the next weekend or whenever is convenient to you. A little breather works like wonder in such situations.
Do you like listening to podcasts? If yes, then, you can explore an app called "simple habit". It is a kind of guided meditation. But even if not as a meditation, you just listen to it as a podcast. Most of the routines are small too. It won't even need a lot of effort from your side. It has helped me with my triggers quite a few times.
For the phone, you can put in any habit tracker (I use "yourhour"). Put a timer on it. Initially for a few hours on each app so that you can slowly and sustainably bring the usage down.
I would really suggest you to try a morning walk (at any time for that matter- afternoon, evening, night) for a few days. whenever I am feeling low for a few days continuously, going for a walk really elevates the mood. Going to the park, seeing the sunlight, trees, birds momentarily helps in keeping the worries and stress away. This small window helps me assess and think about how I should proceed in the given situations. And surprisingly I think much more clearly and coherently during these times than even when I work with high focus.
Just try to get a small breather and a window of escape in whatever way possible. Be it with indulging in a hobby, spending time with friends, going for a walk, meditating or any other thing that has been working for you in such situations in the past. It will help you immensely by figuring out how you should go about in your specific situations.
That’s a very detailed and helpful answer. Thank you so much. Will try some of these
chamomile,ToBeDiplomat
@Pam123 i found myself in such situations many a times. And everytime it was spirituality whuch helped me come out of it. It always gave me patience and a will to progress. It heped me accwpt my present state and have patience to bring changes in myself. U can read some teachings of Swami Vivekananda . Such great philosophy of Vedanta. Buy some book on amazon. Trust me. It helps!
I don’t want to wake up, or study or do anything. This happened during mains prep and therefore i messed up mains as well. I have seen therapists but even after months of sessions nothing seem to help. I also took anti-depressants as prescribed but I discontinued as it didn’t seem to lift my mood.I am only on my phone and browsing reddit or YouTube. I just don’t know how to come out of this vicious cycle. Any suggestions?This is very difficult for me to put down on a public platform. Sorry if it triggers anyone.I had a frnd who was in similar situation 3 months before 2019 pre. Anti depressants, CBT (I believe India lacks quality therapists) nothing worked.
He started following a simple plan ie facing life one day at a time. In the morning he ensured that he will get out of bed no matter how bad or disinterested he was feeling,go to the library and give his 10-12 hrs trying to study. First week was very difficult but with every passing week he started doing well and got his rhythm back.
So the thing is when we are facing such negative phases we just have to stop yourself from going into the negative spiral. Not getting up from bed,not studying,not doing any activities actually ends up strengthening negative energy and irrationally makes our mind believe that it can't cope with it. By taking things one day at a time we make our mind realise that it can overcome such phases and stop the negative spiral of thoughts.
No amount of motivation,meditation,anti depressants or therapies will work. The only thing which will work is doing things which we are supposed to do irrespective of how we feel. The only way to overcome it is to get through it. Promise yourself that tomorrow morning you will get out of bed and study or do some productive work and keep your mind occupied instead of sitting idle and worrying about it. Try to do this for few days(one day at a time) and then you will automatically learn how to keep things under control.
This will definitely help you in managing ur thoughts and not letting it interfere in ur daily schedule.
Would you tell someone with appendicitis, no amount of medication, operation etc. will work, just walk it off?
Curing disease and suppressing symptoms are two different things. I have seen people close to me taking anti depressants like benzodiazepine,SSRIs and even schedule X drugs and I can assure you it has more side effects than benefits. So if.you are looking for temporary pain relief by meds which will just make ur neurons temporarily go to sleep and make you feel.more lethargic,sleepy, disinterested thn go ahead and take them. Its like treating Your appendicitis with pain killers.
+1
Anduin,
A fun story:
So as the lockdown in Delhi got lifted I went back to the gym only to realize that they had actually never shut it. In fact, they were running it in clandestine mode with blinds on window panes, a closed shutter and even a password for entry :P
Fight club much!
I realised this post the 2nd wave. So this time it was muscular bonanza!
Working out in almost an empty gym with music shut, and serious guys around, is a bliss. Beyond bliss indeed. :')
KingSlayer23,
I don’t want to wake up, or study or do anything. This happened during mains prep and therefore i messed up mains as well. I have seen therapists but even after months of sessions nothing seem to help. I also took anti-depressants as prescribed but I discontinued as it didn’t seem to lift my mood.I am only on my phone and browsing reddit or YouTube. I just don’t know how to come out of this vicious cycle. Any suggestions?This is very difficult for me to put down on a public platform. Sorry if it triggers anyone.
Hey pam, satsang alert!!
I don't know how much of it will be relevant in your case but in my personal life stoicism has helped me immensely!! Not much can be said in few words about it however if you could, I would urge you to add few minutes of brisk walk wherever you can, along with it there is a beautiful channel called daily stoic. I started listening to it during my walks last year.
Also Suffering is invariably part of our lives embrace it at the face value and as a fact,clearing the exam will not makes us happy, I have changed 2 jobs and one profile before plunging in upsc in none of them I was happy enough, have also failed spectacularly in past 2 attempts . Simple realisations are oftentimes more profound
When seneca was sentenced to death he famously quipped what's there to weep in parts of lives, the whole of it calls for tears!!!! Baki toh bottom line itni si hai ki it is not the result that affect us but the hope that is attached to it which does.. Also in my case the solution I have found to tackle depression/sadness is to write 4-5 things which seemingly makes me sad and I try to tackle them head on, for instance I forced myself to, sit and study for long hours after my 2020 failure,initially bas i use to sit on my table for hours but progress was made gradually.
Also It might seem tough ,unbearable even at times ,but as Marcus Aurelius writes:
Look around you at all the throng of those you know and those you do not, you will find everywhere men whose sufferings have been greater; legend has not granted exemption from misfortune even to the gods.
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