Let me share my painful story:
Year 2010 ->Passed out from a top NIT
October 2013 ->left a highly paid job and came to Delhi to prepare for Civil Services
Gave 6 attempts back to back from CSE 2014 to CSE 2019
Wrote Mains in all the attempts
Gave Interview in CSE 2016 and CSE 2019
Missed Final list narrowly in CSE 2016,also missed Reserve list by 2 marks
On 4th August 2020, i was not able to find my name in the final list again. Not able to accept the reality till now. For CSE 2019, i had given all. Wrote more than 60 tests (joined multiple test series of GS,Essay, & Public Ad) and consistently scored good marks in all the test series. Moreover, i used to get better rank/score than this year's topper (AIR-1) in Pawan Kumar Sir's Public Ad test series.But all my hardwork has become meaningless. Life has become very difficult. Since i belong to obc so still i have attempts left but no courage left inside me. It seems Yeh andheri raat kabhi khatm nahi hogi
@NWS ,@Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh , @Neyawn
About to fall on the same path. My journey started since 2017. Thinking about getting back to IT asap for backup. What do you people suggest?
@Philosking Not bad idea👍
Good to know. Btw, r u too somehow in this situation?
Let me share my painful story:
Year 2010 ->Passed out from a top NIT
October 2013 ->left a highly paid job and came to Delhi to prepare for Civil Services
Gave 6 attempts back to back from CSE 2014 to CSE 2019
Wrote Mains in all the attempts
Gave Interview in CSE 2016 and CSE 2019
Missed Final list narrowly in CSE 2016,also missed Reserve list by 2 marks
On 4th August 2020, i was not able to find my name in the final list again. Not able to accept the reality till now. For CSE 2019, i had given all. Wrote more than 60 tests (joined multiple test series of GS,Essay, & Public Ad) and consistently scored good marks in all the test series. Moreover, i used to get better rank/score than this year's topper (AIR-1) in Pawan Kumar Sir's Public Ad test series.But all my hardwork has become meaningless. Life has become very difficult. Since i belong to obc so still i have attempts left but no courage left inside me. It seems Yeh andheri raat kabhi khatm nahi hogi
@NWS ,@Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh , @Neyawn
About to fall on the same path. My journey started since 2017. Thinking about getting back to IT asap for backup. What do you people suggest?I had also started in 2017. And I am now nowhere with 2 mains and 1 interview. However, I have learnt a lot during this period and I can not allow myself to go it waste. So I will write the cse again with the areas where I think I have to work like the mains part. So, I will suggest you to give at least one more attempt with your full vigour. It is just a matter of 5 months and its done.
I know its difficult, but we have to rise and defeat this.
It feels good to hear this :)
@Philosking It would be better if you evaluate the purpose of the backup. If you feel that you are exhausted and waste the majority of the time, then its best to get a viable backup.
Personal Experience: I started to feel that UPSC CSE is a game of confidence as well, especially prelims. If you feel that things are moving in the right direction for you then go ahead and prepare. Otherwise, a backup is always a wise thing to do
Good to know.
The fact is, its hard to maintain pragmatic confidence; specially for late comers after few years of work. With age comes the burden of expectations from society.
I have almost grown up along this very forum. From a 22 year old writing mains in his first attempt to having exhausted 5 attempts without an interview call is no cause to look at this journey with any nostalgia. This whole journey has been punctuated by so many failures ( including 2 PCS Interviews ) that I even thought lesser attempts ( 4 attempts of pre 2014 era ) would have been much better to atleast give people like me a chance to forcibly exit this cycle and save some productive youthful years. But then this process was never a burden for me on the contrary the Mains Season is almost like a festival .. many people here could relate with it I guess 😅 . So the thought came and went.
So what is my takeaway from this process - a few constitutional principles ? Some basic economic concepts ? Insights into the history and geography of India ? I don't think think so , because the very purpose of this learning was to crack an exam and that did not happen. However we emphasize the great role of this syllabus it is not something which shapes or builds our personality or even make us a better person for that matter. But but but .. the amount of reading definitely helps you navigate any conversation any where out there and it sharpens the learning curve .. learning new stuff is fun and easy .. for me I have dived into another 2 optionals for my upcoming state forest service Main exams to maybe break the streak of failure finally 🤞
However an exam should be taken like an exam and nothing more. I made the mistake of taking it way too seriously as a kid and associating so many other stuff with the outcome and now I am a prisoner of my own desires.
Although advices emanate from struggle and a failure story becomes a struggle chiefly from a winners hindsight still I will say something - If you think you can do something better with your time rather than investing so much in this journey it's better to switch now however if you don't think there's anything better to do than to prepare for this exam irrespective of the outcome .. you my friend will definitely win this journey.
सिर्फ हंगामा खड़ा करना मेरा मकसद नहीं,
मेरी कोशिश है कि ये सूरत बदलनी चाहिए।मेरे सीने में नहीं तो तेरे सीने में सही,
हो कहीं भी आग, लेकिन आग जलनी चाहिए।
Truth be told. Thanks for sharing.
