Civil Services Mains 2020 Results: In or Out ? Way ahead, gratitude and Pain
The Civils Mains result has been declared. This thread is for sharing your grief , joy , mixed feelings - absolutely anything and everything.
Sorry friends but I don't why my heart beat has started increasing day by day seeing the number of covid cases and deaths .
Believe me my mind says be aware your turn will come soon and whenever I think of covid . I jump to conclusion of oxygen shortage and death .
Talking about studies I haven't open my book since last 10 days and currently I am in Patel Nagar cooking my food to avoid Tifin service . Career wise I am no where since last year I failed in csat inspite of getting 103 marks in GS . Being from lower middle class family life is really tough to prepare after multiple failed attempt (3 attempt , Age 24).
Kuch samaj nhi aa raha hai dil bahut dukhi hai !!
May lord Krishna heal this time .
Be safe and take care of yourself .this is the only way we can contribute to nation currently .
SergioRamos,SergioRamos,I really want to believe UPSC won't conduct the Prelims on June 27th. I really do, but at the same time i'm scared that it's just an attempt by myself to rationalize slacking off.
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ATB
TambourineMan,Gloria Steinem
Back on this thread after a while. In these times of uncertainty, it's good to see a few familiar names. Life has been hard these last 3 years, and now what I look around and find myself unable to do any good. Preparing for UPSC today almost feels like you're abusing a privilege. People today are struggling to find food, oxygen, life and here I am worrying about my optional, about prelims date. A couple of months ago I accepted my 2nd failure in mains, telling myself this is the path you chose. You knew the costs. But somehow today, this is not enough. Always found this platform and anonymity useful to find solace in dark times, feels good to be heard
* on a positive note- Hope all of you and your families are safe and sound. I'm sure some of us have had a terrible time, and I hope we stay strong and emerge stronger from this
@SergioRamos one free day in August also - 29th August I think, as per upsc calendad
It has been taken up by combined Medical Services exam.
Back on this thread after a while. In these times of uncertainty, it's good to see a few familiar names. Life has been hard these last 3 years, and now what I look around and find myself unable to do any good. Preparing for UPSC today almost feels like you're abusing a privilege. People today are struggling to find food, oxygen, life and here I am worrying about my optional, about prelims date. A couple of months ago I accepted my 2nd failure in mains, telling myself this is the path you chose. You knew the costs. But somehow today, this is not enough. Always found this platform and anonymity useful to find solace in dark times, feels good to be heard
We all are here in the same boat, riding through the same storm, longing for the sun. :)
You are not alone. We all are in it together.
Sorry friends but I don't why my heart beat has started increasing day by day seeing the number of covid cases and deaths .
Believe me my mind says be aware your turn will come soon and whenever I think of covid . I jump to conclusion of oxygen shortage and death .
Talking about studies I haven't open my book since last 10 days and currently I am in Patel Nagar cooking my food to avoid Tifin service . Career wise I am no where since last year I failed in csat inspite of getting 103 marks in GS . Being from lower middle class family life is really tough to prepare after multiple failed attempt (3 attempt , Age 24).
Kuch samaj nhi aa raha hai dil bahut dukhi hai !!
May lord Krishna heal this time .
Be safe and take care of yourself .this is the only way we can contribute to nation currently .
At the risk of sounding too preachy, let me say this.
You are strong enough that you have come so far. Times like these are surely heart wrenching, but at the end of the day, temporary. You will make it through the COVID as well as do well in your papers. We all will. When things are not in our control, the best thing we can do is let them be. We just have to be prepared mentally and physically for the outcomes, moulding ourselves according to the situation, if you will.
The fiercest seas make the greatest sailors.
Instead of worrying and affecting ourselves, let us be the pillar of support the community needs, in any way possible. Because that's how, humanity has survived and will survive, through cooperation.
Let me tell you a personal incident. In the last week, like most of us Indians around, I too have lost many relatives. While I was sad, I was also extremely thankful that my family is okay. Every day, when I see the traumatic scenes of people struggling for medicines and beds, I just cannot feel blessed enough to have my only worry as to what to study today.
The majority of us come from humble backgrounds. But, Money can be earned, attempts can be given, but lives once lost won't come back.
SO yeah, hold your head high mate. Thank the almighty for all the blessings you have and let us together contribute, in whatever little way possible, towards humanity. :)
We are in this together!
SergioRamos,@SergioRamos Thank you for being kind and generous to motivate me mentally !!
A bigger thank you to you for expressing your deepest fears and insecurities so openly. Posts like these help many of us who often just need the feeling that we are not alone in our sufferings. These common sufferings become our source of strength. :)
I have been frequent to this thread, want to share something very personal so that atleast my mind could be little relaxed.
I and my parents live away from my hometown. We are in a pretty safe place wrt Covid-19. But my hometown is in UP. All of us know the situation out there. Already family members from my mother's side are unwell due to Covid, and considering my grandparents age I fear all the time, what might happen to them. My Grandfather has been one of the active participant of panchayat elections , now he is preparing for some marriage in our village, albeit he follows all the things like masks n all..you never know of covid. This has been my biggest fear , my grandmom is diabitic, i dont know what future upholds. but I m all nervous and bad thoughts keep coming. Dont know how to concentrate in these times. And the other guilt is not studying when exam is nearing when I know I can make a lot of contribution rather than being a mute spectator if I become a civil servant. and this Covid induced uncertainity. Too much of mental burden... Tough times for me and for all of us. Take care of ur loved one guys!
GaryVee,NOLEisGOATIn the past, I've written multiple posts on this platform hoping to uplift myself and the lovely people of this forum before the exams. Our worries at the time seem so trivial to me now, in hindsight.
The last few months have been extremely rough on me. I am well and truly spent mentally. It has been a real struggle to get myself functioning in the way that I feel like my old self again. I like to believe I've made some progress; I tell people I have, but the truth of that is suspect. That is why I have refrained from writing a similar post this time. It wouldn't have been honest or authentic at all. But, I believe the time has now come for us to show strength even when we cannot muster it despite our best efforts. So, I'll try.
This damned virus has taken away so much from a lot of us. It has drained us in ways that we couldn't have imagined in our worst dreams. What we feel is normal, and I really want to say that it will pass, but I don't know for sure that it will.
Each of us have our own struggles. After a while, in this exam, we start thinking of ourselves as numbers. Look at profile bios for example. Attempts: xx; Prelims: xx; Mains: xx; Interviews: xx; AIR:xx. A common template, but such vastly different stories. Each attempt is a new one as far as UPSC is concerned, but we go into it with the baggage (or experience, if you are lucky) of our previous attempts.
It is well and truly a herculean exercise to carry all that weight on our shoulders all the time. So much so that we secretly wish that we could just shrug it off and start afresh; or leave the field altogether. Instead, a lot of the time, even if our minds tell us we can't, we soldier on. We work on making our shoulders stronger. We don't realise it a lot of the time, but that is essentially what we do. Every day we decide to continue carrying that weight, we decide to soldier on and on. We aren't sure of what our choices will achieve; none of us are. Yet, we try.
I don't see any point in romanticising suffering and convincing ourselves that our cause is somehow a noble one. If our shoulders would most definitely collapse under that weight we carry, maybe our best course is to lighten the load or even set it aside completely. We'd still be so much stronger than we were when we started. That's what we get for sure from this struggle. We don't know if we'll win or lose at the end of this all, but we will most definitely be better. All that we can do is try, and try we must, one day at a time. Let's be mindful that we have chosen to do what we are doing right now. This isn't a fate we are condemned to, but a conscious choice. We're all soldiers on the same battlefield fighting extremely different demons in our own heads.
"We choose our own misery and our own pleasure, and sometimes we choose both at the same time." It's an odd place to be, but let's not forget, we chose to be here. If it's a maze that we find ourselves in, we best know that maze and our escape route. Keep faith and continue the search, my lovely people of Forum. That's the best we can do, and that's all we can aspire for. :)
I pray for the wellbeing of each and everyone. Each one of us is going through the same thing.
When I don't feel myself - I resort to this - talk + small meditation
Check this out on Insight Timerhttps://insig.ht/4REETVlfTfb
Check this out on Insight Timerhttps://insig.ht/MalRyCIfTfb
Check this out on Insight Timerhttps://insig.ht/eY09R0LfTfb
BD,
In the past, I've written multiple posts on this platform hoping to uplift myself and the lovely people of this forum before the exams. Our worries at the time seem so trivial to me now, in hindsight.
The last few months have been extremely rough on me. I am well and truly spent mentally. It has been a real struggle to get myself functioning in the way that I feel like my old self again. I like to believe I've made some progress; I tell people I have, but the truth of that is suspect. That is why I have refrained from writing a similar post this time. It wouldn't have been honest or authentic at all. But, I believe the time has now come for us to show strength even when we cannot muster it despite our best efforts. So, I'll try.
This damned virus has taken away so much from a lot of us. It has drained us in ways that we couldn't have imagined in our worst dreams. What we feel is normal, and I really want to say that it will pass, but I don't know for sure that it will.
Each of us have our own struggles. After a while, in this exam, we start thinking of ourselves as numbers. Look at profile bios for example. Attempts: xx; Prelims: xx; Mains: xx; Interviews: xx; AIR:xx. A common template, but such vastly different stories. Each attempt is a new one as far as UPSC is concerned, but we go into it with the baggage (or experience, if you are lucky) of our previous attempts.
It is well and truly a herculean exercise to carry all that weight on our shoulders all the time. So much so that we secretly wish that we could just shrug it off and start afresh; or leave the field altogether. Instead, a lot of the time, even if our minds tell us we can't, we soldier on. We work on making our shoulders stronger. We don't realise it a lot of the time, but that is essentially what we do. Every day we decide to continue carrying that weight, we decide to soldier on and on. We aren't sure of what our choices will achieve; none of us are. Yet, we try.
I don't see any point in romanticising suffering and convincing ourselves that our cause is somehow a noble one. If our shoulders would most definitely collapse under that weight we carry, maybe our best course is to lighten the load or even set it aside completely. We'd still be so much stronger than we were when we started. That's what we get for sure from this struggle. We don't know if we'll win or lose at the end of this all, but we will most definitely be better. All that we can do is try, and try we must, one day at a time. Let's be mindful that we have chosen to do what we are doing right now. This isn't a fate we are condemned to, but a conscious choice. We're all soldiers on the same battlefield fighting extremely different demons in our own heads.
"We choose our own misery and our own pleasure, and sometimes we choose both at the same time." It's an odd place to be, but let's not forget, we chose to be here. If it's a maze that we find ourselves in, we best know that maze and our escape route. Keep faith and continue the search, my lovely people of Forum. That's the best we can do, and that's all we can aspire for. :)
@Patootie is back ! Thanks for writing this mate. I was missing you, and your therapeutic posts like this. Thanks for every member on this forum, who provides a safe escapism from the miseries of our day to day life. Issey pehle@Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh sir aakey "control the controllable", or "padhtey raho", or "upsc Russian roulette khelne bol degi" jaise baat bolkey humey wapas track pe laayein, let's practice for the worst, and hope for the best.
SergioRamos,
