Civil Services Mains 2020 Results: In or Out ? Way ahead, gratitude and Pain - ForumIAS

Civil Services Mains 2020 Results: In or Out ? Way ahead, gratitude and Pain

The Civils Mains result has been declared. This thread is for sharing your grief , joy , mixed feelings - absolutely anything and everything.



jack_Sparrow,musaand61 otherslike this
1.6m views

5.3k comments

anybody in with history optional? i only see all those who unfortunately couldnt make it
12.3k views

RaGasaid

anybody in with history optional? i only see all those who unfortunately couldnt make it

I am searching for same...dont have access tg group in order to find out how many cleared but it seems like very few from history

12.3k views

Is there a subject wise telegram group of selected and non selected candidates , especially for Law . I don't see anyone even putting up the subject let alone in or out. 

Would be really handy for such obscure optionals. 

ssver2,whatonly
12.2k views

In. 3rd mains, 3rd interview (sociology). Overall 6th attempt.

I went through many comments. Therefore,I wanted to share some of my experiences which might help some.

Those who could not make it please understand : 

  •  Time would heal your pain. You have to showcourage. 
  • Do not give attempt when you are not fully prepared. Means you must have completed 70% - 80% of your mains syllabus before prelims.
  • Do not get emotionally attached to the exam. I remind you , please don't !
  • If you have given 3 attempts, then please secure a job. A job which could provide around 5 hours of study time. Do not think about what your friends and relatives would think about you. Let them assume  you are a losser.
  •  there is set pattern of writing answers which would atleast ensure interview call. Find that pattern. Best way is to go through toppers copy.
  • I always remind myself one quote ofBuddha" the mind is everything, what you think, you become". 

For those who made it 1st time.

  • Do not celebrate to much. 
  • Interview is most important stage according to me. E.g me and my one friend got similar marks in mains, but he got 193 in interview and I stuck at 160. He got IRS(IT) and I failed .
  • We need to put same effort as we have given during mains.


Neyawn,ssver2and35 otherslike this
12.8k views

out With Anthropology


Bhai, aap The Satya show ki follower lag raha hai 😂.  Good Luck for coming attempt 

himanshushakyawar1992,
11.2k views

A friend of mine told me this morning about the Mains results. And I just couldn't stop myself from logging in. Although I see some new names, but I was never in doubt about the capability of@AzadHindFauz to go all the way. We used to share an answer writing group before I deleted my telegram account (perhaps out of shame of not qualifying prelims). And one glance at his answers was all it took for me to realize "yeh banda nikaal lega." Congratulations Amigo.

@SergioRamos , I really don't need to tell you anything. I am sure you embody every bit of grit and perseverance that the person who goes by the name of your username does :smile:. Keep at it.

@Patootie and@whatonly,If you guys made it through, then know that you deserve every bit of success which is on its way. Go for the kill and ace the interviews. If one of you didn't, then know that this is just a small blip in the grander scheme of things and big things await you in the near future. All my love and prayers for you two :muscle:

And to all the others who I haven't had the chance to interact with, A big Congratulations on making it through. This is no time to rest. Go all guns blazing.

And now coming to those who missed out.

I have been away from this beautiful platform since the Prelims results (back in October). Even though I had vowed to "bounce back 1000 times harder," I have struggled to be my sane self. I succumbed to the negativity and allowed myself to be sucked into a never ending negative spiral. All this after 3 consecutive failures in Prelims. 

And then I see people here who wrote their 5th Mains without success. For some, the juggernaut that was UPSC has come to an end. Even though the pain you guys are feeling at the moment is radically different from someone who failed in prelims, I would still say that I understand what it is that you feel right now. Everyone's journey is different. Everyone's stories are different. But somehow all of us find ourselves sandwiched between expectations and failures, between desires and disappointment and between an uncertain future and an unchangeable past.  How each one of you is going to cope with this is an individual choice. But if you ask me, keep uttering simple things like,"kuch na kuch kar lenge"or "Kuch to uparwaale ne mere liye bhi socha hoga." These seemingly simple things have amazing powers. 

To sum it up, Even though I lost a few vital months while grieving, some amazing things still somehow found their way to me and I am in a much better mental space now. And so, what I am trying to say is, Grieve if you want to. Don's let some shitty notions of Masculinity stop you from crying or seeking help. Grieving has powers to heal. Eventually, some path or the other is going to open up. This quote might help:

The Darker the night, the brighter the stars


The deeper the grief, the Closer the GOD.
 

May the force be with you !!

Itachi,missionmangaland58 otherslike this
15.3k views

Got interview call again. After missing the final list very narrowly 2 times, I have understood the importance of keeping the momentum very high until you get your name in the final list. One more opportunity to realise my dream. 

Thank You, Everyone! 

Neyawn,Sapienand26 otherslike this
11.8k views

A friend of mine told me this morning about the Mains results. And I just couldn't stop myself from logging in. Although I see some new names, but I was never in doubt about the capability of@AzadHindFauz to go all the way. We used to share an answer writing group before I deleted my telegram account (perhaps out of shame of not qualifying prelims). And one glance at his answers was all it took for me to realize "yeh banda nikaal lega." Congratulations Amigo.

@SergioRamos , I really don't need to tell you anything. I am sure you embody every bit of grit and perseverance that the person who goes by the name of your username does :smile:. Keep at it.

@Patootie and@whatonly,If you guys made it through, then know that you deserve every bit of success which is on its way. Go for the kill and ace the interviews. If one of you didn't, then know that this is just a small blip in the grander scheme of things and big things await you in the near future. All my love and prayers for you two :muscle:

And to all the others who I haven't had the chance to interact with, A big Congratulations on making it through. This is no time to rest. Go all guns blazing.

And now coming to those who missed out.

I have been away from this beautiful platform since the Prelims results (back in October). Even though I had vowed to "bounce back 1000 times harder," I have struggled to be my sane self. I succumbed to the negativity and allowed myself to be sucked into a never ending negative spiral. All this after 3 consecutive failures in Prelims. 

And then I see people here who wrote their 5th Mains without success. For some, the juggernaut that was UPSC has come to an end. Even though the pain you guys are feeling at the moment is radically different from someone who failed in prelims, I would still say that I understand what it is that you feel right now. Everyone's journey is different. Everyone's stories are different. But somehow all of us find ourselves sandwiched between expectations and failures, between desires and disappointment and between an uncertain future and an unchangeable past.  How each one of you is going to cope with this is an individual choice. But if you ask me, keep uttering simple things like,"kuch na kuch kar lenge"or "Kuch to uparwaale ne mere liye bhi socha hoga." These seemingly simple things have amazing powers. 

To sum it up, Even though I lost a few vital months while grieving, some amazing things still somehow found their way to me and I am in a much better mental space now. And so, what I am trying to say is, Grieve if you want to. Don's let some shitty notions of Masculinity stop you from crying or seeking help. Grieving has powers to heal. Eventually, some path or the other is going to open. This quote might help:

The Darker the night, the brighter the stars


The deeper the grief, the Closer the GOD.
 

May the force be with you !!

Thanks, brother! Lets ace this paper together!          
P.S- We all missed you here man. Please be more active no?

Aurora,EiChanand10 otherslike this
10.4k views

I've been a silent reader of this wonderful platform since many years. However, one aspect has remained constant i.e. the grit and perseverance shown by all the candidates year after year.

You all are the embodiment of the purest human spirit. The one who refuses to give up. I am proud of you all. The ones who have shared their pain here and the ones who haven't... always remember UPSC में हारा हुआ हाथी सवा लाख का होता है.  You have lost only a few battles. Those were precious battles I agree. However, the WAR of life will be won by you and only you. All the best.

@Sherkhan1428 Welcome back bro. I always read your comments. I am glad that you are in a good mental space now. All the best. You will do it.


@AzadHindFauz Congratulations brother. I envy your articulation skills. You will be in the list for sure. 


@SergioRamos 2021 is your year. :)


@Patootie  and@whatonly  I hope you both are appearing for interview. :)

Neyawn,Auroraand12 otherslike this
9.7k views

A friend of mine told me this morning about the Mains results. And I just couldn't stop myself from logging in. Although I see some new names, but I was never in doubt about the capability of@AzadHindFauz to go all the way. We used to share an answer writing group before I deleted my telegram account (perhaps out of shame of not qualifying prelims). And one glance at his answers was all it took for me to realize "yeh banda nikaal lega." Congratulations Amigo.

@SergioRamos , I really don't need to tell you anything. I am sure you embody every bit of grit and perseverance that the person who goes by the name of your username does :smile:. Keep at it.

@Patootie and@whatonly,If you guys made it through, then know that you deserve every bit of success which is on its way. Go for the kill and ace the interviews. If one of you didn't, then know that this is just a small blip in the grander scheme of things and big things await you in the near future. All my love and prayers for you two :muscle:

And to all the others who I haven't had the chance to interact with, A big Congratulations on making it through. This is no time to rest. Go all guns blazing.

And now coming to those who missed out.

I have been away from this beautiful platform since the Prelims results (back in October). Even though I had vowed to "bounce back 1000 times harder," I have struggled to be my sane self. I succumbed to the negativity and allowed myself to be sucked into a never ending negative spiral. All this after 3 consecutive failures in Prelims. 

And then I see people here who wrote their 5th Mains without success. For some, the juggernaut that was UPSC has come to an end. Even though the pain you guys are feeling at the moment is radically different from someone who failed in prelims, I would still say that I understand what it is that you feel right now. Everyone's journey is different. Everyone's stories are different. But somehow all of us find ourselves sandwiched between expectations and failures, between desires and disappointment and between an uncertain future and an unchangeable past.  How each one of you is going to cope with this is an individual choice. But if you ask me, keep uttering simple things like,"kuch na kuch kar lenge"or "Kuch to uparwaale ne mere liye bhi socha hoga." These seemingly simple things have amazing powers. 

To sum it up, Even though I lost a few vital months while grieving, some amazing things still somehow found their way to me and I am in a much better mental space now. And so, what I am trying to say is, Grieve if you want to. Don's let some shitty notions of Masculinity stop you from crying or seeking help. Grieving has powers to heal. Eventually, some path or the other is going to open. This quote might help:

The Darker the night, the brighter the stars


The deeper the grief, the Closer the GOD.
 

May the force be with you !!

Sherkhan is back!!! Felt so good to see the notification that you commented! Your voice has always been a unique beacon of sanity, calm, and kindness in the madness and chaos of this journey.

Thank you so much. I qualified thankfully. All my love and prayers back!

So happy to know that you’re doing well. And thanks for the brilliant and moving write up. :’))

Aurora,GaneshGaitondeand13 otherslike this
11.2k views

I've been a silent reader of this wonderful platform since many years. However, one aspect has remained constant i.e. the grit and perseverance shown by all the candidates year after year.

You all are the embodiment of the purest human spirit. The one who refuses to give up. I am proud of you all. The ones who have shared their pain here and the ones who haven't... always remember UPSC में हारा हुआ हाथी सवा लाख का होता है.  You have lost only a few battles. Those were precious battles I agree. However, the WAR of life will be won by you and only you. All the best.

@Sherkhan1428 Welcome back bro. I always read your comments. I am glad that you are in a good mental space now. All the best. You will do it.


@AzadHindFauz Congratulations brother. I envy your articulation skills. You will be in the list for sure. 


@SergioRamos 2021 is your year. :)


@Patootie  and@whatonly  I hope you both are appearing for interview. :)

As a former silent, and now occasionally un-silent reader, every time a silent reader speaks up, it makes Forum a better, more interesting space. Thank you so much for your wishes. :))

Neyawn,Auroraand12 otherslike this
11.1k views

@whatonly Thanks for acknowledging. All the best for the interview! 

Sherkhan1428,whatonly
9.1k views

In, 6th mains , 3 rd interview, changed optional in 5th attempt. Trying my best to build the tempo which has for all practical purposes lulled after this mains. Hoping for the best preparing for the worst.

For those who have not been able to make it, persist and persist.

For those who have made it, still a long way to go.

Brutal truth of this exam. 

Interview program k liye inputs are welcome. Just name the institute and the person who can add value to prep.

My input

1.laex - rambabu

2.insights - vinay 

Others I have in mind

1.forum ias - ayush

2.officers ias - Israel jeba singh

Have listed above names based on one one interaction and the value they added to my daf prep. 

Inselberg,AJ_
8.7k views

I am still waiting for a writeup from@Patootie for fallen comrades like me..:sweat_smile:


Neyawn,Auroraand4 otherslike this
8.8k views
Couldn’t make it to the list. 

Thank you all wonderful people who reached out to me. I haven’t been able to reply to everyone and I might not. Hope you understand. 

The defeat is obviously crushing. It sucks. The only solace is that I chose to do this. When I chose to pursue this exam, I chose the possibility of failure as well. 

Anudeep Durishetty mentions in his blog that the first defeat is shocking, the second humbling and the third, absolutely devastating. I braced myself for that, even when I was fully expecting (hoping) that I would clear. I’m gutted that I haven’t cleared; I feel there’s a great part of me that just feels numb. The defence mechanisms have kicked in fully. The only questions before me is: What next? Where do I go now?

Eventually, I will have to deal with how I feel. There is always a fallout. Those who were afraid that I would succeed would smirk again, much like they did when I failed before. I understand that, I can live with that. But what hurts me the most is the pain this has caused to my team. My mother, my girlfriend, and many others who genuinely cared. My angels. Right now, I’m so helpless if I try to think of a cure. 

I don’t blame UPSC or the evaluators or the inherent subjectivity/uncertainty of the exam. There was something wrong in my preparation and I fully appreciate that I reaped the results of what I sowed. 

First order of business is to find myself a job. Thinking of Prelims 2021 is akin to torture at this point. When I gave this attempt, I made a vow that 2020 would be my last attempt. I don’t want to be stuck in this cycle for as long as I’m allowed to. 

However, if there is one thing I learned, this exam is like heroin. “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.” In an ideal world, this battle should never be personal. For me, that is a fiction. It is a personal one, intensely so. Truth is, I don’t know if I will find it within myself to attempt it again. I’ll just have to wait and see. 

I thank those of you who tagged me for your lovely words. I thank in advance those of you who will reply to this comment fornotoffering me your sympathy. 


ssver2,Joeyisthebestand55 otherslike this
12.8k views

In with anthropology optional.

for past few days was preparing for EPFO exam. Now I am not sure how much time i should give to EPFO. Next stage in CSE is as uncertain as mains. I found EPFO to b more predictable and can give one job in hand. Anyone else in similar dilemma? 

Dhertez,Auroraand2 otherslike this
8.2k views

To all those (like me) who did not find their names in the PDF yesterday, I saved this a while back that may be of help.



First, do not think of how you “failed others.” If you’re not fighting the good fight for yourself and yourself only, you’re not fighting for the right reason. Seeking validation from others is a path down self-deception and ignorance. He is most at peace with himself who seeks only his own approval.

Second, focus less on the result and more on the journey. We’re all going to die someday, and we will never receive true validation or a stamp of approval from anyone saying “you lived a good life and fought the good fight”. Only you will ever know that, and you will know it every day that you work hard, live nobly, and walk with grace.

If you really worked hard and still failed, props to you: most people fail because they never try. Life is not about winning or losing, because when we die, the king and the pawn go in the same box. Focus on the here and now, the opportunity to work hard and fight hard today, the opportunity to live nobly and with grace today. By focusing on the now and fighting the good fight knowing you may possibly fail in endeavours and knowing for certain that you’re going to die, you will be always and forever be at peace.

ssver2,Auroraand18 otherslike this
8.6k views

Hello, lovely people of Forum. Reading everyone’s results and stories, I was struck once again by the sheer magnitude of the leaps of faith so many people have taken in writing this exam. The sacrifices some have made, the passion some have poured into this effort. Mainly, by just the strangeness of this journey, where one PDF can in one stroke break or make so many of our hearts. Intellectually I know there’s some logic to it, some formula decided by the powers that be that makes it make sense. But itfeels so arbitrary and confusing, and hence frustrating.

As a rookie in this journey who’s been helped considerably by her luck, I feel a bit presumptuous saying all this to people who have far more experience, and are going through a disappointment I have been lucky to avoid. But I still wanted to say a few things that I’ve realised over the past almost two years, in the hope that they might help somebody. Please forgive me if it comes across wrong.

We are all unique, and our paths to success and happiness are bound to be just as unique. This preparation has the effect of reducing us to a combination of numbers: roll number, number of attempts, number of mains etc. It may be possible to compare your number of attempts with someone else, but it is impossible to compare yourself to someone else’s self. Every thought you’ve ever had, every experience that’s taught you anything, every person you’ve met, are ingredients that go into who you are. I think when a negative result reduces us into a state of feeling worthless, it is important to reaffirm our personhood and worth. We are never worthless, because we shouldn’t measure our worth by the scale of anything other than our own standards. Age, attempts, other circumstances will determine a lot - the pressure mounting on you, what others may think of you. Just don’t let it affect what you think of your own worth and value.

So much of the world seems to be so meaningless. Social media sometimes seems to amplify a lot that is empty and shallow. In this world where several hours and terabytes of inane “content” created by “influencers” is put out every minute, this forum is a place that’s bursting with meaning and humans living human lives. Because what can give meaning to our hours better than a sincere, dedicated pursuit of knowledge and improvement? We’re all a part of this inspiring phenomenon, independently of yesterday’s result. Your number may not have been in the PDF and you may have lost this battle, but there’s a larger tussle going on in the world that you’re winning. As a UPSC aspirant you may have had a setback, but as a person you’re doing a great job. So many people will never face the disappointment you’ve faced, simply because they will never dream like you did, or pour their heart and soul into something like you did. The fact that you did those things is proof of a life well lived, and one in which there are several years to go.  In a world where so many people just... exist, you’re choosing to really live. I’m certain that this attitude will not go unrewarded. 

I hope everyone finds the strength and support they need in this time. Please take pride in having tried something, even if you may have failed. I’m sure we will all find our paths in life eventually - let this pride and confidence be a trusty compass until then. 

ssver2,Auroraand31 otherslike this
10.8k views

I've been a silent reader of this wonderful platform since many years. However, one aspect has remained constant i.e. the grit and perseverance shown by all the candidates year after year.

You all are the embodiment of the purest human spirit. The one who refuses to give up. I am proud of you all. The ones who have shared their pain here and the ones who haven't... always remember UPSC में हारा हुआ हाथी सवा लाख का होता है.  You have lost only a few battles. Those were precious battles I agree. However, the WAR of life will be won by you and only you. All the best.

@Sherkhan1428 Welcome back bro. I always read your comments. I am glad that you are in a good mental space now. All the best. You will do it.


@AzadHindFauz Congratulations brother. I envy your articulation skills. You will be in the list for sure. 


@SergioRamos 2021 is your year. :)


@Patootie  and@whatonly  I hope you both are appearing for interview. :)

Thankyou brother! We will sail through! We all will! :)

ssver2,EiChanand4 otherslike this
8.6k views
@Patootie I am not offering you any sympathy as success and failure are part of our life but just want to say don't think you have let down those who loves you. Your failure does not make them unhappy but it is your grief that makes them sad.
Wishing you well. 


ssver2,Auroraand12 otherslike this
7.9k views
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