UPSC CSE NOT-SUCCESSFUL-YET PAIN STORIES !

No need to romanticise failure. Just accept the oblivion and focus on other higher pursuits. 

hello guys during my preparation and failures i learnt following things:

1. first thing which comes on my priority is that the mains answers need just 150 to 250 words so u dont need much material u just need concise points. u need to have ready made one liner for every topic.

2. prepare prelims syllabus extensively so that you dont need to re read laxmikant after pre bipin  chndra etc

3. make your own notes in one word eg. make star tree or bubbles just dont make in sentences better to re read orginal content and then look at your tree n charts

4. dont take a break from studying constantly focus if u want to take break then go on YouTube or study magazines but dont watch movies or songs it deviates rather take productive breaks 

5. again and again see the upsc topper answer sheet

6. make a calendar and cross the dates which is over. effectively track your studying hours every day 

7. always remember the holy pdf.

guys i have not achieved anything yet but i learned this during my preparation 

and dont wish happy new year again in life😉😉 2021  you will get slippers..pun intended😗

Thank you. This was useful. The last part especially.

Though i didnt gave this year's exam.. i have also gone through this feeling of being useless,Wrote mains twice in 14, 15(pubad was butchered in 14 that ruined my confidence forever)..cldnt clear it was heartbroken,devastated,there seemed to be no light at the end pf tunnel..thank god that my family came to rescue and took me away rrm delhi to my hometown..after some months i gathered courage to look for other exams and thankfully got a 4600 gp job in 2018, since then life have been good, got engaged to a beautiful,intelligent girl,marrying her this yr and again mustering courage to give it a go to cse 2021.

So my mesaage to all the fellow aspirants here ( although i achieved zlich in comparison to ppl here who attended multiple intws,i cldnt clear one),that cse is not the end of life, u can have a very good satisfied life outside of it, dont make it a matter of life and death, enjoy the process and try to have a backup..khush to 60-70 rank wala ias ka banda bhi nahi hoga,1 saal baad home cadre na milane par..

Ha bhai similar story although I have my own small biz. And like you said unless you actually top the exam ie rank in top 30 40 and get home cadre there will always be some dissapointment even after clearing so everything is subjective in a way and the aim should be happiness one way or the other.

Really encouraging words during these tough times.

True success is in rising after falling....

Thanks buddy getting up and not bowing to pressure and stress is bigger than any failure. Upwards and onwards we go!

@skirti_0826946 

hey you are not alone in this, also stand in the same place where you stand

I have spent 4-5 years in  this preparation(including 1 year IT job) yet I have not got the confidence that han bhai kar lenge crack IAS ban sakte hai hum bhi,I do not know where the problem is may be in my preparation,i didnt join any class may be the reason is this.

just focus on your study,read and re-read and re-read

study with one-two dedicated friends,so that motivation can be intact 

Hello friends, Chai peelo! 

Well before someone else starts to call me out names after reading this post, let me categorically state this out here: YES, I am also a frustrated aspirant. Before you jump the guns to judge me, I would urge that you read the entire post.

Now we have that out of our ways, allow me to list down two more, basic facts of this journey: 

1. Toppers are simply the hard workers who got LUCKY. 

2. Toppers are over-hyped. As an act of selection 

Someone here stated that one who gets selected in the 60-70 rank range and fails to get home cadre is also not happy. Let me tell you a secret, the one's who got rank 1 are also not happy :). We have seen in past certain toppers resigning from the service after their selection, toppers committing suicide, and toppers indulging in all things forbidden by our very dear GS paper 4 ethics. When I say toppers I mean those who made it to the list.

The journey of a TRUE civil servant (key word being TRUE) is one of numerous setbacks, ongoing struggles and handicaps with hints of happiness at times, those too you have to find on your own and will not be served on a platter. A very senior now retired IAS officer said that the most innovative and productive years of a bureaucrat are the ones before his selection and after his retirement, as for every thing in the middle they simply are pushing files. At least for 95% of them. For the remaining 5%, well they are on a constant "Cadre Darshan" throughout the period of their service, but when they do get the chance they do miracles we all read about in books. Even today of the 180 IAS officers who graduate out of the coveted LBSNAA maybe 4 will break out of the routine. For the remaining 176 will simply tow the line and enjoy lives in the status quo.

The search for happiness is an ongoing pursuit for both the ones who get selected and for those who did not...besides there is also a race to prevent one from falling into frustration and we as human geniuses have devised ways for that...

1. The selected ones, or at least most of them follow in the footsteps of the best of the best, trying to imitate them in the hope that maybe one day they will also be held in such a high regard. One very unique way of doing this in today's time is the social media. You will find several of our bureaucrat friends super active on social media, seeking constant validation and being more of SM influencers than being civil servants, vying for that holy blue tick mark. While forgetting all the knowledge they acquired on digital divide that exists in the country while preparing for GS3. Their SM handles are a constant ad campaign true to the words "Jo Dikhta hai, wo bikta hai". Retweeting their praises while comfortably ignoring the difficult questions. 

2. The less fortunate ones, after shedding tears over their failures try to look upto the selected candidates and others. eg. Hey that person made it to the list in their 6th attempt, what if I failed in my 5th attempt, if he can so can I, we both seem to be having the same trajectory. Another example: you know she wrote civil services but couldn't get selected and exhausted her attempts. despite that, look how successful she is today, if she can I can too.

Now the problem here is that in both cases, these people are trying to walk the path which is not at all their own and in the process getting frustrated and at lost times lost. They end up losing their own identities and try to mold themselves into something which they are not. We do so because it gives us a comfort, warmth knowing that someone was here in this exact spot before us and look where they are right now. While doing this we get so busy imitating the other person that we forget to work on our ourselves. We forget the very basic concept of that each one of us is unique, something which we all are have been guilty of quoting at some point or the other in our civil services journey, as this journey makes us all a bit philosophical. 

I mean. if you are the lucky ones who are through the gates congratulations! nothing like that, I hope that you'll hold your principles and flight for them as ferociously as you did while writing that GS4 or giving that interview and will live by them for the next 30-40years of your service to the nation.  

For those who were not able to make it, I guess it's time to dust off yourself and put yourself back in the fight. If your resources permit. Back in the fight, as YOURSELF and not as the candidate the story of whose journey from failure to success you think you can replicate after reading it in a blog. 

In lives we must strive to be (this is my way of thinking), in this order:

1. RESOURCEFUL- because we can only help our fellow citizens when we have an unique skill or monetary prowess to put to use.

2. USEFUL- once you are resourceful you must be willing and compassionate enough to put your resources to use.

3. INFLUENTIAL- once you check the boxes for 1 & 2, you automatically get recognized sooner or later and this recognition must be put to use to benefit more and more people with your resourcefulness and usefulness. Influence is simply the by-product of the first two.

When we try to mess with this order we find ourselves to be frustrated and being shallow. As we see these days the priority for most of us is simply of being influential, while 1 & 2 rarely get the attention they deserve. 

I just hope that wherever your life takes you, it's a journey that you can call your own. It's a journey that is full of struggles, learning, pain and heartbreaks. For it's only the ones who have faced the adversities can look life in the face and smile at it. So maybe this entire journey, with it's UPSC pit-stop is life's way of making you that person. Whether you get selected or not is an entirely different topic, but let me tell you this, that selection is not going to make you a better person, it's not going to transform your personality, it's not going to set everything in your life right. 

The only way to do it is, if you do it yourself. Selection in civil services is probably just a by-product, one of the many. 

Best wishes,

Your fellow frustrated candidate :D

Do your part. And depart. 

No need to feel happy or sad about an entrance exam. 

At the end, if you feel too sad about anything, take mia didis help. At the end, I would forever remain indebted to this process.

It helped me grow out of a "shallow, anti SJW (yeah all the same talking points, reservations bad, MNREGS bad, feminism bad) privileged  STEMcel (who believed humanities is for dumb kids)" to a far better person, to develop independent opinion, to not give a fuck about what "others" think, and ultimately prick and burst my bubble of privilege. I can only laugh at my pre 2017 self.

Let me share my painful story:

Year 2010 ->Passed out from a top NIT

October 2013 ->left a highly paid job and came to Delhi to prepare for Civil Services

Gave 6 attempts back to back from CSE 2014 to CSE 2019

Wrote Mains in all the attempts

Gave Interview in CSE 2016 and CSE 2019

Missed Final list narrowly in CSE 2016,also missed Reserve list by 2 marks

On 4th August 2020, i was not able to find my name in the final list again. Not able to accept the reality till now. For CSE 2019, i had given all. Wrote more than 60 tests (joined multiple test series of GS,Essay, & Public Ad) and consistently scored good marks in all the test series. Moreover, i used to get better rank/score than this year's topper (AIR-1) in Pawan Kumar Sir's Public Ad test series.But all my hardwork has become meaningless. Life has become very difficult. Since i belong to obc so still i have attempts left but no courage left inside me. It seems Yeh andheri raat kabhi khatm nahi hogi

hey@NWS,really admire your perseverance  

STAY STRONG COMRADE !

#Apna_Number_Aayega 💐