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UPSC CSE NOT-SUCCESSFUL-YET PAIN STORIES !

Share your pain , frustration, regrets and future plans here. Once you vent out your feelings now, you will definitely feel better. This will also motivate others to write about their experience post-failure in CSE attempts. So that people get to know that THEY ARE NOT ALONE ! Try it. 


#Sharing_is_Caring #Hum_Hongey_Kamyaab_Ek_Din !! 

Neyawn , Adya and 25 others like this
56.6k views

81 comments

654upsc said

Hi All, I am not sure if I was the oldest here among the aspirants for 2019 but definitely not the youngest. 

Have been an upsc aspirant since 2011. Yes it's been 9 long years.

Brief about me-

Graduate from a decent national college in engineering 

Working professional in a reputed MNC in India

6 Prelims, 5 Mains and 4 interviews (no guesses on why the name now 😊)

3 years of teaching upsc aspirants, proud to have 2 of them clearing the exam in 2017 and 2018.

Hoping for another 3 to break the ranks in 2020. (Watch out 😋)

The Gyan-

1. Working in a private firm, you need to know how to manage your time both for preparation and work life balance.

2. For working people, discipline is the key and there is no substitute to it. My schedule transformed to waking up at 4 and scrapping away 2-3 hrs on weekdays for preparation and 10-12 hrs on weekends. Define weekly hours of preparation and move your way forward, last weeks acceleration is of little use

3. Always and always seek professional help in your preparation and areas of syllabus(most of us have not even read the actual syllabus completely- I did read it completely only after 3rd attempt). Joining classes for mains and optional is important - Don't think you can read and know it on your own in isolation. Study in a class and have a group to discuss your newly acquired knowledge.

4. Choose your optional wisely. I had geography as my optional (and I have taught 2 batches of students of it as well 😊). It wasn't my core +2 subject nor was it my graduation subject. Hence if you pick such an optional, join a class and seek coaching from a regular teacher. It will only help you as the person teaching you knows better on providing conceptual clarity and better understanding of the topic. Also his/her analysis of previous year papers is not something easy to find.

5. It's not about the number of books you read, it's about re-reading the same old multiple times. ( Golden Rule). Authors of any book cant change the facts on the ground, hence all books are good in terms of content. For conceptual clarity some are better, but for that refer point 4.

6. Dont plan multiple times on your strategy, just execute any strategy once. That's the most important thing to remember. We usually plan more than execution.

7. Maintain a work life balance - Dont over burden your self with preparation and think this exam is your life and only career option. Take breaks, they actually ease your mind to prepare better. Extended studying days develop mental fatigue and builds frustration. So take small breaks to meet your friends, go for a trip or something that your like.

8. Analyse the papers and even your mocks on what went wrong and what went right as well. Usually aspirants dont analyse their answers but only check their mark ( inclusive of prelims as well).

9. Know where to stop, many topics are always over prepared and few under prepared. You should have a balance of ticking off all the points of the syllabus. Any topic you read you should only have about 500 words of notes on it and not more. There can only be one question and one question only on a topic. Hence maintain a balance within the syllabus.

10. Key areas missed by many aspirants - 

a) Give mocks essays - atleast 5 to 6

b) Focus on ethics paper, it's not a book to read or knowledge to acquire in a couple of weeks but a process of atleast a month or two

c) Read newspapers of atleast two years before appearing.

d) Dont give multiple back to back attempts, take a break and prepare better. Then give it your last and best shot.

Overall, gyan as always thoda lamba hee hota hai.

Currently I have no regrets or feeling of sadness about the missed opportunity. Just enjoy the process it will transform you completely and you need to feel proud of your hardwork that you have been putting. 

Always there to assist and help anyone in their prep. 

Thanks if you have read it till the end. Hope it was of value to you.

Cheers

Thank you. This sums up a lot of things. The point is most people realise this after the time is over. 

If you are not making it in first attempt, clearly you are not going to be selected by way of luck factor. Your path to success is by dint of hard work. It’s written. Accept that. So don’t look at the first attempter , because you don’t have his luck. Your path may requires little more hard work than others. Not everyone takes the same path to reach the same destination.

Secondly, don’t be complacent with interview call. You have to top the exam. Most people after 1 interview call realise that if they do a,b,c they will get interview call. So they only do that much and get interviews every year. But that won’t cut it.

thank you @654upsc :)

peacefulwarrior, ssver2 and 25 others like this
7.3k views

654upsc said

Hi All, I am not sure if I was the oldest here among the aspirants for 2019 but definitely not the youngest. 

Have been an upsc aspirant since 2011. Yes it's been 9 long years.

Brief about me-

Graduate from a decent national college in engineering 

Working professional in a reputed MNC in India

6 Prelims, 5 Mains and 4 interviews (no guesses on why the name now 😊)

3 years of teaching upsc aspirants, proud to have 2 of them clearing the exam in 2017 and 2018.

Hoping for another 3 to break the ranks in 2020. (Watch out 😋)

The Gyan-

1. Working in a private firm, you need to know how to manage your time both for preparation and work life balance.

2. For working people, discipline is the key and there is no substitute to it. My schedule transformed to waking up at 4 and scrapping away 2-3 hrs on weekdays for preparation and 10-12 hrs on weekends. Define weekly hours of preparation and move your way forward, last weeks acceleration is of little use

3. Always and always seek professional help in your preparation and areas of syllabus(most of us have not even read the actual syllabus completely- I did read it completely only after 3rd attempt). Joining classes for mains and optional is important - Don't think you can read and know it on your own in isolation. Study in a class and have a group to discuss your newly acquired knowledge.

4. Choose your optional wisely. I had geography as my optional (and I have taught 2 batches of students of it as well 😊). It wasn't my core +2 subject nor was it my graduation subject. Hence if you pick such an optional, join a class and seek coaching from a regular teacher. It will only help you as the person teaching you knows better on providing conceptual clarity and better understanding of the topic. Also his/her analysis of previous year papers is not something easy to find.

5. It's not about the number of books you read, it's about re-reading the same old multiple times. ( Golden Rule). Authors of any book cant change the facts on the ground, hence all books are good in terms of content. For conceptual clarity some are better, but for that refer point 4.

6. Dont plan multiple times on your strategy, just execute any strategy once. That's the most important thing to remember. We usually plan more than execution.

7. Maintain a work life balance - Dont over burden your self with preparation and think this exam is your life and only career option. Take breaks, they actually ease your mind to prepare better. Extended studying days develop mental fatigue and builds frustration. So take small breaks to meet your friends, go for a trip or something that your like.

8. Analyse the papers and even your mocks on what went wrong and what went right as well. Usually aspirants dont analyse their answers but only check their mark ( inclusive of prelims as well).

9. Know where to stop, many topics are always over prepared and few under prepared. You should have a balance of ticking off all the points of the syllabus. Any topic you read you should only have about 500 words of notes on it and not more. There can only be one question and one question only on a topic. Hence maintain a balance within the syllabus.

10. Key areas missed by many aspirants - 

a) Give mocks essays - atleast 5 to 6

b) Focus on ethics paper, it's not a book to read or knowledge to acquire in a couple of weeks but a process of atleast a month or two

c) Read newspapers of atleast two years before appearing.

d) Dont give multiple back to back attempts, take a break and prepare better. Then give it your last and best shot.

Overall, gyan as always thoda lamba hee hota hai.

Currently I have no regrets or feeling of sadness about the missed opportunity. Just enjoy the process it will transform you completely and you need to feel proud of your hardwork that you have been putting. 

Always there to assist and help anyone in their prep. 

Thanks if you have read it till the end. Hope it was of value to you.

Cheers

Thankyou much brother for writing this.. I can feel the behindside of it.. Salute to your perseverance and outlook about things even in such a tough scenario.. Take a bow from a 2013 wala pappu engineer !! Best wishes for your good life ahead bhai😊😊 🤗🤗

Sapien, abhilasha1811 and 11 others like this
6.6k views

654upsc said

Hi All, I am not sure if I was the oldest here among the aspirants for 2019 but definitely not the youngest. 

Have been an upsc aspirant since 2011. Yes it's been 9 long years.

Brief about me-

Graduate from a decent national college in engineering 

Working professional in a reputed MNC in India

6 Prelims, 5 Mains and 4 interviews (no guesses on why the name now 😊)

3 years of teaching upsc aspirants, proud to have 2 of them clearing the exam in 2017 and 2018.

Hoping for another 3 to break the ranks in 2020. (Watch out 😋)

The Gyan-

1. Working in a private firm, you need to know how to manage your time both for preparation and work life balance.

2. For working people, discipline is the key and there is no substitute to it. My schedule transformed to waking up at 4 and scrapping away 2-3 hrs on weekdays for preparation and 10-12 hrs on weekends. Define weekly hours of preparation and move your way forward, last weeks acceleration is of little use

3. Always and always seek professional help in your preparation and areas of syllabus(most of us have not even read the actual syllabus completely- I did read it completely only after 3rd attempt). Joining classes for mains and optional is important - Don't think you can read and know it on your own in isolation. Study in a class and have a group to discuss your newly acquired knowledge.

4. Choose your optional wisely. I had geography as my optional (and I have taught 2 batches of students of it as well 😊). It wasn't my core +2 subject nor was it my graduation subject. Hence if you pick such an optional, join a class and seek coaching from a regular teacher. It will only help you as the person teaching you knows better on providing conceptual clarity and better understanding of the topic. Also his/her analysis of previous year papers is not something easy to find.

5. It's not about the number of books you read, it's about re-reading the same old multiple times. ( Golden Rule). Authors of any book cant change the facts on the ground, hence all books are good in terms of content. For conceptual clarity some are better, but for that refer point 4.

6. Dont plan multiple times on your strategy, just execute any strategy once. That's the most important thing to remember. We usually plan more than execution.

7. Maintain a work life balance - Dont over burden your self with preparation and think this exam is your life and only career option. Take breaks, they actually ease your mind to prepare better. Extended studying days develop mental fatigue and builds frustration. So take small breaks to meet your friends, go for a trip or something that your like.

8. Analyse the papers and even your mocks on what went wrong and what went right as well. Usually aspirants dont analyse their answers but only check their mark ( inclusive of prelims as well).

9. Know where to stop, many topics are always over prepared and few under prepared. You should have a balance of ticking off all the points of the syllabus. Any topic you read you should only have about 500 words of notes on it and not more. There can only be one question and one question only on a topic. Hence maintain a balance within the syllabus.

10. Key areas missed by many aspirants - 

a) Give mocks essays - atleast 5 to 6

b) Focus on ethics paper, it's not a book to read or knowledge to acquire in a couple of weeks but a process of atleast a month or two

c) Read newspapers of atleast two years before appearing.

d) Dont give multiple back to back attempts, take a break and prepare better. Then give it your last and best shot.

Overall, gyan as always thoda lamba hee hota hai.

Currently I have no regrets or feeling of sadness about the missed opportunity. Just enjoy the process it will transform you completely and you need to feel proud of your hardwork that you have been putting. 

Always there to assist and help anyone in their prep. 

Thanks if you have read it till the end. Hope it was of value to you.

Cheers

Thanks for sharing your journey.

ATB for future

Respect :)

5.7k views

Hi everyone,

2020 will be my 5th attempt. I cleared prelims thrice and could not clear mains even once. In my 4th attempt that is in 2019 I couldn't clear prelims. I did accumulate a lot of knowledge but to no avail. One thing I realised is we have to stick to the syllabus no matter what for each line of syllabus make sure to learn things so we can write a 400 worded answer. This is the major thing in clearing mains.


Naadan_Parinda, GaryVee and 10 others like this
5.1k views

Hi everyone,

2020 will be my 5th attempt. I cleared prelims thrice and could not clear mains even once. In my 4th attempt that is in 2019 I couldn't clear prelims. I did accumulate a lot of knowledge but to no avail. One thing I realised is we have to stick to the syllabus no matter what for each line of syllabus make sure to learn things so we can write a 400 worded answer. This is the major thing in clearing mains.



Dora-the_Explorer,
4.8k views
respect for all the stories.
Esha2020, pushpa_satarkar2839
4.7k views

I have almost grown up along this very forum. From a 22 year old writing mains in his first attempt to having exhausted 5 attempts without an interview call is no cause to look at this journey with any nostalgia. This whole journey has been punctuated by so many failures ( including 2 PCS Interviews ) that I even thought lesser attempts ( 4 attempts of pre 2014 era ) would have been much better to atleast give people like me a chance to forcibly exit this cycle and save some productive youthful years. But then this process was never a burden for me on the contrary the Mains Season is almost like a festival .. many people here could relate with it I guess 😅 . So the thought came and went. 




So what is my takeaway from this process - a few constitutional principles ? Some basic economic concepts ? Insights into the history and geography of India ? I don't think think so , because the very purpose of this learning was to crack an exam and that did not happen. However we emphasize the great role of this syllabus it is not something which shapes or builds our personality or even make us a better person for that matter. But but but .. the amount of reading definitely helps you navigate any conversation any where out there and it  sharpens the learning curve .. learning new stuff is fun and easy .. for me I have dived into another 2 optionals for my upcoming state forest service Main exams to maybe break the streak of failure finally 🤞




However an  exam should be taken like an exam and nothing more. I made the mistake of taking it way too seriously as a kid and associating so many other stuff with the outcome and now I am a prisoner of my own desires. 




Although advices emanate from struggle and a failure story becomes a struggle chiefly from a winners hindsight still I will say something - If you think you can do something better with your time rather than investing so much in this journey it's better to switch now however if you don't think there's anything better to do than to prepare for this exam irrespective of the outcome .. you my friend will definitely win this journey. 



सिर्फ हंगामा खड़ा करना मेरा मकसद नहीं,


मेरी कोशिश है कि ये सूरत बदलनी चाहिए।

मेरे सीने में नहीं तो तेरे सीने में सही,


हो कहीं भी आग, लेकिन आग जलनी चाहिए।

Neyawn, Oasis and 49 others like this
4.7k views

I have almost grown up along this very forum. From a 22 year old writing mains in his first attempt to having exhausted 5 attempts without an interview call is no cause to look at this journey with any nostalgia. This whole journey has been punctuated by so many failures ( including 2 PCS Interviews ) that I even thought lesser attempts ( 4 attempts of pre 2014 era ) would have been much better to atleast give people like me a chance to forcibly exit this cycle and save some productive youthful years. But then this process was never a burden for me on the contrary the Mains Season is almost like a festival .. many people here could relate with it I guess 😅 . So the thought came and went. 




So what is my takeaway from this process - a few constitutional principles ? Some basic economic concepts ? Insights into the history and geography of India ? I don't think think so , because the very purpose of this learning was to crack an exam and that did not happen. However we emphasize the great role of this syllabus it is not something which shapes or builds our personality or even make us a better person for that matter. But but but .. the amount of reading definitely helps you navigate any conversation any where out there and it  sharpens the learning curve .. learning new stuff is fun and easy .. for me I have dived into another 2 optionals for my upcoming state forest service Main exams to maybe break the streak of failure finally 🤞




However an  exam should be taken like an exam and nothing more. I made the mistake of taking it way too seriously as a kid and associating so many other stuff with the outcome and now I am a prisoner of my own desires. 




Although advices emanate from struggle and a failure story becomes a struggle chiefly from a winners hindsight still I will say something - If you think you can do something better with your time rather than investing so much in this journey it's better to switch now however if you don't think there's anything better to do than to prepare for this exam irrespective of the outcome .. you my friend will definitely win this journey. 



सिर्फ हंगामा खड़ा करना मेरा मकसद नहीं,


मेरी कोशिश है कि ये सूरत बदलनी चाहिए।

मेरे सीने में नहीं तो तेरे सीने में सही,


हो कहीं भी आग, लेकिन आग जलनी चाहिए।

Thank you @Piyadassi . Thank you for this.

HUMBLEF00L,
4.3k views

I have almost grown up along this very forum. From a 22 year old writing mains in his first attempt to having exhausted 5 attempts without an interview call is no cause to look at this journey with any nostalgia. This whole journey has been punctuated by so many failures ( including 2 PCS Interviews ) that I even thought lesser attempts ( 4 attempts of pre 2014 era ) would have been much better to atleast give people like me a chance to forcibly exit this cycle and save some productive youthful years. But then this process was never a burden for me on the contrary the Mains Season is almost like a festival .. many people here could relate with it I guess 😅 . So the thought came and went. 




So what is my takeaway from this process - a few constitutional principles ? Some basic economic concepts ? Insights into the history and geography of India ? I don't think think so , because the very purpose of this learning was to crack an exam and that did not happen. However we emphasize the great role of this syllabus it is not something which shapes or builds our personality or even make us a better person for that matter. But but but .. the amount of reading definitely helps you navigate any conversation any where out there and it  sharpens the learning curve .. learning new stuff is fun and easy .. for me I have dived into another 2 optionals for my upcoming state forest service Main exams to maybe break the streak of failure finally 🤞




However an  exam should be taken like an exam and nothing more. I made the mistake of taking it way too seriously as a kid and associating so many other stuff with the outcome and now I am a prisoner of my own desires. 




Although advices emanate from struggle and a failure story becomes a struggle chiefly from a winners hindsight still I will say something - If you think you can do something better with your time rather than investing so much in this journey it's better to switch now however if you don't think there's anything better to do than to prepare for this exam irrespective of the outcome .. you my friend will definitely win this journey. 



सिर्फ हंगामा खड़ा करना मेरा मकसद नहीं,


मेरी कोशिश है कि ये सूरत बदलनी चाहिए।

मेरे सीने में नहीं तो तेरे सीने में सही,


हो कहीं भी आग, लेकिन आग जलनी चाहिए।

Truth be told. Thanks for sharing.

3.5k views

I need help. I am 28 years old. Given this exam 4 times in the past 4 years. Written mains once. This year i have chosen a completely new optional subject and honestly, am not prepared for it. Having been an optimist so far, i think i could do it post prelims. However, the real trouble began a few days ago and i have been restless since. I am suddenly unsure of sitting for prelims this year. I feel my brain has reached some sort of saturation point and i can't seem to register any information. I think i could have easily chosen to not sit for the exam this year but does my age allow that now? I am unemployed and unsure.

2.5k views
If I were you I would not second guess my decision at this stage. Barring a few, almost everyone is uncertain just before prelims. One is not really in the right frame of mind to assess one's preparedness at this time. 
2.3k views
Open letter to parents by an aspirant preparing for Civil Services: 

Dear dad & mom ,

I know every year you are desperately waiting  for my name in the pdf of prelims, Mains or in  final result pdf. I can understand that every year your heart goes through sorrow and pain  because of my failure. I know that how society gives you lecture on my life. Thank you for tolerating all of this for me. 

But trust me, today I am not sorry. Do you know, when I don't find my roll number, I feel like this is  the end of the world for me. It takes days and months for me to come back to bare normal. With each successive attempts I gather the courage to prepare again. Do you know that I am getting old, more in my mind than in real ! My age is just 27 but I feel that I am 32 now.

You know that I have developed this habit of keeping this pain to myself only. Even when I cry I keep this to myself.  You ask me everyday " beta are you alright? I always say I am alright, (but papa I am not.)

You know how hard it is for me to   promise  myself every year that this year I'll make it to the final list. My friends are having a life. They're working somewhere. Going to Goa, USA every year. Where do I go? Either my exam center or a new place to prepare.

Do you know that if I am preparing for more than 3 years it's my choice and self belief that one day I'll accomplish my dream. Do you know that you were comparing me with one techie ( anyone in your social circles ) but  I know more than him when it comes to India or the world. 

In the end my dear parents, I may not succeed but this is the only thing I have chosen for myself. And I wish to give it my all and have no regrets. I hope, one Day I will make you proud.

Please let me try. 
Let me stay hungry, stay foolish.
Oasis, Adya and 9 others like this
1.6k views
Hello everyone! 
Today I want to pour my heart out and also want some guidance. Basically, I am already iIN IRS since 2012. Cleared in the age of 23.however, wanted to be an IAS always. Went for an Eol. However, didn’t get interview call. Shattered my confidence. Married by batchmate. Field and family life kept me busy. This year , I realised that I had  two attempts left, but getting age barred next year. So started preparing. As luck should have it, got pregnant.despite that, began preparing , only to see changed prelims date to October very close to my due date. Had a c section yet on 5th day went and gave prelims.
however, not sure whether I will clear. Not blaming anyone. Just feeling that had I taken leave/eol while still not a mother, I would have fulfilled my dream. I am waiting for an extra attempt if possible as per Supreme Court direction.
Aurora, AlexanderSupertramp and 6 others like this
1.4k views
Hello everyone! 
Today I want to pour my heart out and also want some guidance. Basically, I am already iIN IRS since 2012. Cleared in the age of 23.however, wanted to be an IAS always. Went for an Eol. However, didn’t get interview call. Shattered my confidence. Married by batchmate. Field and family life kept me busy. This year , I realised that I had  two attempts left, but getting age barred next year. So started preparing. As luck should have it, got pregnant.despite that, began preparing , only to see changed prelims date to October very close to my due date. Had a c section yet on 5th day went and gave prelims.
however, not sure whether I will clear. Not blaming anyone. Just feeling that had I taken leave/eol while still not a mother, I would have fulfilled my dream. I am waiting for an extra attempt if possible as per Supreme Court direction.

You are a warrior.

IRS is an amazing job too. I understand that you want to go ahead and do IAS but where you are in life, you are already an inspiration to many, including me.

I hope you clear prelims this time and get a chance to achieve your second dream.

Congratulations on your baby :) May you both stay happy and healthy.

SParul,
1.4k views
Hello everyone! 
Today I want to pour my heart out and also want some guidance. Basically, I am already iIN IRS since 2012. Cleared in the age of 23.however, wanted to be an IAS always. Went for an Eol. However, didn’t get interview call. Shattered my confidence. Married by batchmate. Field and family life kept me busy. This year , I realised that I had  two attempts left, but getting age barred next year. So started preparing. As luck should have it, got pregnant.despite that, began preparing , only to see changed prelims date to October very close to my due date. Had a c section yet on 5th day went and gave prelims.
however, not sure whether I will clear. Not blaming anyone. Just feeling that had I taken leave/eol while still not a mother, I would have fulfilled my dream. I am waiting for an extra attempt if possible as per Supreme Court direction.

Honestly speaking, I developed inferiority complex after going through your story, as usual. And why not! Having passed CA intermediate with very high marks and completed my grad, both at an age of 19 years 5 months I cherished the dream of becoming an IPS officer and clearing this exam by 21/22. But then destiny had something different in store for me and needless to say I am 28 now and I am still an aspirant. Leave clearing the exam, I could never write the exam save on two occasions, and out of that, once gave blank paper as was completely unprepared and the other time didn't touch the books for 2 months before Prelims and thus fell short of cut off by some 20 marks or so. But still I am sure I will make it to list one day. :) 

Anyway, I really salute you for the courage shown by you. You are already in a very elite service and even after 8 years you still have passion for getting your desirous service and in fact you are fighting for it too. And that too after being married and having a child! Hats off to you! And I wish you get the service you are aspiring for, but if not, I will say be satisfied with what you have as contentment is the supreme bliss. 

Admgenalanezh,
1.4k views
Hello everyone! 
Today I want to pour my heart out and also want some guidance. Basically, I am already iIN IRS since 2012. Cleared in the age of 23.however, wanted to be an IAS always. Went for an Eol. However, didn’t get interview call. Shattered my confidence. Married by batchmate. Field and family life kept me busy. This year , I realised that I had  two attempts left, but getting age barred next year. So started preparing. As luck should have it, got pregnant.despite that, began preparing , only to see changed prelims date to October very close to my due date. Had a c section yet on 5th day went and gave prelims.
however, not sure whether I will clear. Not blaming anyone. Just feeling that had I taken leave/eol while still not a mother, I would have fulfilled my dream. I am waiting for an extra attempt if possible as per Supreme Court direction.

This gave chills down my spine. I always thought I am working hard and I am dedicated, this story of yours will motivate me everyday to go that extra mile . Thank you for sharing your wonderful journey. 

Congratulations for your baby and All the best for your results! you are an inspiration.

1000 views
Is there any chance of getting an extra attempt for Last timers???
786 views

UPSC FAILURE & PAIN STORIES wala thread !!

If you have appeared in CSE more than once and couldn't make it - share your pain stories here. Especially Senior Aspirants (4+ attempts type). How you felt or feeling after multiple failures ? What challenges you faced or facing ? How you are trying to remain hopeful in the ocean of failures ? And Anything Else ! We can't reduce your pain but still you will feel good by sharing with anonymous co-travellers !! Best Wishes !!


NOTE - PLEASE AVOID SLANGS//STRONG LANGUAGE/ OVER-PESSIMISM/ PERSONAL TAUNTING / OUT OF THEME DISCUSSIONS HERE !

810 views

NWS said

Let me share my painful story:

Year 2010 -> Passed out from a top NIT

October 2013 -> left a highly paid job and came to Delhi to prepare for Civil Services

Gave 6 attempts back to back from CSE 2014 to CSE 2019

Wrote Mains in all the attempts

Gave Interview in CSE 2016 and CSE 2019

Missed Final list narrowly in CSE 2016,also missed Reserve list by 2 marks

On 4th August 2020, i was not able to find my name in the final list again. Not able to accept the reality till now. For CSE 2019, i had given all. Wrote more than 60 tests (joined multiple test series of GS,Essay, & Public Ad) and consistently scored good marks in all the test series. Moreover, i used to get better rank/score than this year's topper (AIR-1) in Pawan Kumar Sir's Public Ad test series.But all my hardwork has become meaningless. Life has become very difficult. Since i belong to obc so still i have attempts left but no courage left inside me. It seems Yeh andheri raat kabhi khatm nahi hogi :confused:

Update: Missed CSE 2019 final list by 8 marks.
Already immersed in CSE 2020 cycle with renewed vigour. Putting even more efforts in the areas where i'm lacking compared to others.

Thanks to everybody for your kind words.


Kapiushon, Impavid_Girl and 2 others like this
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