Practice Essay writing - Likho, Padho aur Seekho
Creating this thread for writing an essay each week.
Current schedule (plz suggest if needs to be changed) -
1. Write one essay on sunday from 3:00-4:30 PM
2. Submit here by 5 PM (okay 5:15 PM)
3. Read others essay by 6PM
4. Comments/Review/Extra discussion post that.
Everyone is welcome. Though, it is feasible if we have relatively smaller groups. Excited to read awesome essays and write some also.
Read both of your essays. :)I wrote it last week. Today I wrote on another topic.
@farzicoder @sstarrrPlease take a look and submit yours.
- very good intro like your previous 2 essays + ending with the same
- Panchantantra stories about animal showing humane side opens new dimension
- Good example of Tamil quotes
Other points
- felt intro was tad long
- I was also hoping to find definitions of human, humane etc
- Page 3 - saving from thrashing. Does that always happen ? - can refer it in page 8 when humane part is not shown
Other points have already been mentioned by@sstarrr
Overall, good attempt. :)
Also came to know that this is Gandhiji's quote. We can add Gandhi's mantra - Talisman + service of humanity
Adobe Scan 13-Jun-2021.pdf My essay.
Good attempt :)
- Intro good emotional story + happy ending in conclusion + very good handwriting
- Defined humane, human etc - makes it easy to understand your ideas
- Use of thinkers to start the statements especially Locke to bring out diff b/w man and animal
- You are asking questions in beginning and trying to answer. This felt good as I also try to do the same
Other points
- Break paragraph on 1st page
- I was hoping that some NGO will help them in that poor condition to show humane side in the beginning itself to drive home the topic point or maybe two contrasting situations showing humane part and not showing humane part
- Some grammatical errors - an human (p2), an lion danger for an deer (p4)
- Covid-19 biggest test of humanity (p4) - perhaps substantiate with suffering, loss of employment and lives etc before mentioning protectionist measures
» show previous quotesGood attempt :)
Things I liked
- Intro good emotional story + happy ending in conclusion + very good handwriting
- Defined humane, human etc - makes it easy to understand your ideas
- Use of thinkers to start the statements especially Locke to bring out diff b/w man and animal
- You are asking questions in beginning and trying to answer. This felt good as I also try to do the same
Other points
- Break paragraph on 1st page
- I was hoping that some NGO will help them in that poor condition to show humane side in the beginning itself to drive home the topic point or maybe two contrasting situations showing humane part and not showing humane part
- Some grammatical errors - an human (p2), an lion danger for an deer (p4)
- Covid-19 biggest test of humanity (p4) - perhaps substantiate with suffering, loss of employment and lives etc before mentioning protectionist measuresKeep it up :)Edit - Same ->Also came to know that this is Gandhiji's quote. We can add Gandhi's mantra - Talisman + service of humanity
Thank you :) and you have read very deeply my essay. And complement about my handwriting. I am on cloud nine, nobody has said so :) :) :)
- about grammatical mistakes - By god how can I do this? Ashamed is a small word. :(
- I thought of Covid 19 but I though I have written such big intro , didnt feel like writing more.
brownianMotion,
I wrote it last week. Today I wrote on another topic.
@farzicoder @sstarrrPlease take a look and submit yours.
- Liked the variety of examples
- The 2nd subheading - Instead of kindness, would have been better if you used the word humane or humanitarianism. Kindness is one aspect of being humane. Though you have written about other aspects as well , so someone who is reading might feel you are equating the two.
- Instead of just briefly mentioning names of buddha and prophet muhammad, I feel it would be more enriching if you elaborate on one properly.
- I feel the content is good but the structuring can be worked on. Like, after writing the aspects of humanity, you can use the word from essay topic for the next subheading "The greatness in being humane/What is so great about being humane" in which you write how it is beneficial. The next could be "What happens when humans lose their humanity", in which all the negative aspects and examples are given
https://smallpdf.com/file#s=dbb42f7e-8477-434a-aabd-070832afa4ad
Review Please.
Dont waste your time if you are giving mains.
Jai Shree Ram !
@babu_bisleribro writing ki legibility par thoda dhyan do, i tried to read but found it difficult to make sense of words. My writing suffers from same issue.essay evaluation plz , if the thread is still not dead
I think you have adequately talked about human-ness and humane-ness, but have not focused on the "the long journey" aspect. A better structure could have been:
1. Introduce idea of being human and being humane, distinguish between the two.
2. Explain the process through which we go towards being humane from being human (basically value inculcation part from GS4)
3. Elucidate with the help of examples from life of great people
(e.g. Gandhiji's journey ->parents as role model, did not cheat in school, made some mistakes such as stealing, watched Harishchandra play, South Africa train incident, struggle in SA, finally became a mass leader, became humane)
(e.g. Ashoka's journey ->killed his brothers to get the throne, battle of Kalinga, adopted buddhism, became humane)
(e.g. Verghese Kurien ->went to America with government permission to study agri, but switched to physics, reluctantly joined agri department, met Patel, change of heart and dedicated himself to Amul, became humane) (*all details may not be correct please cross-check)
4. However, there can be stumbling blocks to prevent oneself from becoming humane. Again substantiate with examples: Hitler, terrorism, communal riots.
5. What can be done to eliminate such stumbling blocks.
6. Conclusion on a positive note.
D503,tysm for feedback. you correctly pointed out completely missed that linking part between the two. i tend to write impromptu with respect to philosophical essays and incorporate ideas as they come to me. will try to structure first.I think you have adequately talked about human-ness and humane-ness, but have not focused on the "the long journey" aspect. A better structure could have been:
1. Introduce idea of being human and being humane, distinguish between the two.
2. Explain the process through which we go towards being humane from being human (basically value inculcation part from GS4)
3. Elucidate with the help of examples from life of great people
(e.g. Gandhiji's journey ->parents as role model, did not cheat in school, made some mistakes such as stealing, watched Harishchandra play, South Africa train accident, struggle in SA, finally became a mass leader, became humane)
(e.g. Ashoka's journey ->killed his brothers to get the throne, battle of Kalinga, adopted buddhism, became humane)
(e.g. Verghese Kurien ->went to America with government permission to study agri, but switched to physics, reluctantly joined agri department, met Patel, change of heart and dedicated himself to Amul, became humane) (*all details may not be correct please cross-check)
4. However, there can be stumbling blocks to prevent oneself from becoming humane. Again substantiate with examples: Hitler, terrorism, communal riots.
5. What can be done to eliminate such stumbling blocks.
6. Conclusion on a positive note.
sbhati,Cant find your esasy :ptysm for feedback. you correctly pointed out completely missed that linking part between the two. i tend to write impromptu with respect to philosophical essays and incorporate ideas as they come to me. will try to structure first.I think you have adequately talked about human-ness and humane-ness, but have not focused on the "the long journey" aspect. A better structure could have been:
1. Introduce idea of being human and being humane, distinguish between the two.
2. Explain the process through which we go towards being humane from being human (basically value inculcation part from GS4)
3. Elucidate with the help of examples from life of great people
(e.g. Gandhiji's journey ->parents as role model, did not cheat in school, made some mistakes such as stealing, watched Harishchandra play, South Africa train accident, struggle in SA, finally became a mass leader, became humane)
(e.g. Ashoka's journey ->killed his brothers to get the throne, battle of Kalinga, adopted buddhism, became humane)
(e.g. Verghese Kurien ->went to America with government permission to study agri, but switched to physics, reluctantly joined agri department, met Patel, change of heart and dedicated himself to Amul, became humane) (*all details may not be correct please cross-check)
4. However, there can be stumbling blocks to prevent oneself from becoming humane. Again substantiate with examples: Hitler, terrorism, communal riots.
5. What can be done to eliminate such stumbling blocks.
6. Conclusion on a positive note.
awsm examples
I wrote it last week. Today I wrote on another topic.
@farzicoder @sstarrrPlease take a look and submit yours.
good essay dude. great flow, relevant examples, good handwriting, almost everything was perfect. but as others have pointed out, human part could be elaborated more, and counter examples could be used.
Wrote on "Values are not what humanity is..".
Faced difficulty in interpreting the topic and points were difficult to write. Hope someone else also post their essay on this topic. Here is mine. :)
D503,nice.Wrote on "Values are not what humanity is..".
Faced difficulty in interpreting the topic and points were difficult to write. Hope someone else also post their essay on this topic. Here is mine. :)
brownianMotion,
brownianMotion,
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