Civil Services Mains 2020 Results: In or Out ? Way ahead, gratitude and Pain

Hey@Neyawn, I have a suggestion for upcoming SFG (prelims) tests. Is it feasible to cover current affairs subtopic wise in daily schedule? (example- science and tech ->space tech)

Can someone recommend me a good ETHICS enrichment programme.

I have done the static syllabus but wanted to improve upon it. ?

Any suggestions are welcomed 

I am in dilemma of career.. having no social media user putting out here..

I am 28 . Academically good in school and state CET. Qualified Gate. Engineering in mechanical from tier 3 engineering college with 5 years experience 2.5 years with MSME and 2.5 years with leading Automotive Manufacturer of India. Not so good salary as started my career with 15K/month.

I have been on bench since last year May 2020. I had given 2019 attempt considering one reading of basic books will suffice. gave 2020 attempt with what I can do by studying 5 months fulltime. may be getting 84-88. after failure decided to give one full time preparation attempt.

Since last few days my own company and other Cos have started calling me and asking for interview scheduling.. Due to low salary and stagnant work culture I was thinking to go IT field by doing few courses. But today I received interview call from one US MNC and they have scheduled interview with EU managers tomorrow.

What should I do? should I decline interview call to focus on my dream. I don't know whether I will be able to give time for studies. If I opt for job I will have regret had I not opted for job I would have cleared. Other side family has started telling about unpredictability of exam.

@Neyawn @AzadHindFauz @TwoFace @Villanelle @whatonly @Jammu all other forumites please help.

It is a classic dilemma that many of us have encountered. The two different sets of advice that people give are shaped by their own experiences and perceptions. So, there's no 'right decision', but what oneperceives as the right decision.

In 2018, I was faced with the same dilemma. Whether to continue with my job which would pay off handsomely well in terms of money or to chase the so-called 'dream'! I was 24 then. On average, 8 out of 10 people advised me not to quit the job. However, I chose to quit the job.

So, whenever I am asked by someone who is facing this dilemma, I always ask them to chase their dream. However, I do ask them to weigh up their options while being pragmatic and not emotional. In my case, I was 24 when I had to make the call. You're 28 and hence, you need to evaluate your options more carefully. Apart from this, there are certainly other questions too that need to be answered-

• Can you afford to give up on money at this stage of your life and be financial baggage? ==>I was ready to be one.
• Do you see yourself putting in the hard work without getting yourself distracted from family and othermiscellaneousmatters for the next few years? ==>I saw it clear. Only work, no BS.
• What if you fail? Would you be happy with your decision to choose this exam?==>I was certain that come what may I would never regret my decision. I would be placed at a level where I would be able to make my ends meet. I would rather be happy to live with the thought that I gave it my all. I had to choose between 'not making the effort to go for my dream' vs 'Coming back after giving it my all'. I realised the second option would keep me saner and satisfied for life.

I would be able to advise you only if I am able to factor in these considerations that are important. That being said, in general, I am usually for going after the dreams. It's likely because I prefer mental and intellectual satisfaction over material satisfaction. 

Whatever you decide for yourself, rest assured that there is no right answer to this dilemma. Carry no second thoughts against whatever you decide for yourself.

Best wishes :)

"If I opt for job I will have regret had I not opted for job I would have cleared."

If you end up failing in the exam, above would pale in comparison to the regret caused by knowing that you rejected a job at hand. 

@pursuitofhappiness Some good questions and view points above. I was in similar situation in April when i was offered a good job in a govt setting while i was working towards UPSC. Since i have been preparing for three years now, i thought that it isn't the material but more of an aptitude issue for me now. Sofirst point of observation for yourself would be to check how much you can stretch and whether its a material prep issue or just fear of a new setting for you or maybe FOMO of leaving full time prep. 

The other limitations I am talking about, are:

1) age (I recently turned 27 so I prioritized a good base first over CSE, it can be different for you.)

2) financial situation (ours is alright but I still wanted to help my parents).

3)how is your preparation (material-wise and confidence; mentioned mine above).  

I guess for all the questions given in other comments above, instead of me answering it, I outsource it to my friend and we discuss and come to conclusion over rounds of talks. Hence the 4th practice below.

4)Most imp thing I do is to simulate scenarioswith a close friend who knows in and out about me: hypothetical worse/best case scenarios (simulate both job and without job scenarios; I can understand that with job wala you have less information but talk to a close friend/confidant who knows about your goals and let him/her ask you questions from their pov). this will help you gain another perspective and maybe more questions you can ask the job offering firm so as to understand the work pressure and your role.

Take care and best wishes.

@PursuitofHappyness Sorry friend, i am not well positioned to offer any advice on this. All the very best to you, in whatever you decide :)

Please take up the job and prepare for your dream along with the job. It's a myth that one needs to prepare full-time. Have a short term and long term strategy for UPSC Civil services exam, take up your job and then give your best with fullest of confidence and peace of mind. Do not fall into this trap of skipping important things in life for UPSC. It is simply not worth it. From a mental make-up perspective, you will have greater chances of passing upsc civil services exam if you will derive immense confidence from your job and other aspects of life.

PS, being financially stable is equally important. Marriage, parents retirement, younger siblings studies, unforeseen health consequences etc may knock on the door in adult life at unexpected times. Financial stability will give you the mental cushioning required to persevere for your dreams. 

Take up the job. 

The Road Not Taken- By Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

This poem is something extremely close to my heart. When I took the plunge into this exam by leaving my job, I was at a crossroads. Each of the roads had its own opportunities and neither one was any less traveled really. Further, much like each way leads to another way, each one offered a different life, fulfilling in its own ways. At that time, I decided to use this poem as my anthem of uniqueness. I was following my dream, and to dare to follow your dreams is the stuff of great poetry. I rationalised it as my road less traveled, but it wasn’t really any less traveled than the other one. Had I cleared my exam in either of my last two attempts, some day long into the future, I would probably proudly tell my grandkids that I took the road that was less traveled, and that made all the difference. If my experiences as an IAS officer made me regret my choices, I would still rationalise them but say that they were wrong in retrospect. I would say that they made all the difference, in a tone filled with  regret. 

After my failures, I found myself at a crossroads again. It wasn’t the same crossroads and I wasn’t the same person. Each way had led to another way, until I reached here. I could have given one more full time attempt or taken up a job. I chose my way of taking up a job. I am still preparing for the exam. If I clear it now, one day, I would probably tell my grandkids that I took the road less travelled of preparing alongside a full time job, and that that made all the difference. If I don’t clear it, I’d tell them that about how I don’t regret any of the time I spent preparing. I’d tell them how preparing and not clearing the exam helped me become a much better lawyer, and contribute better in the private sector. I’d probably even tell them that this was what was better for me than the services. And I would then point to this crossroads and say how my choice made all the difference, and how my choice of moving on from the exam was the tougher thing to do (which most others don’t).

Whenever you are stuck at a crossroads, you will make a choice. Someone else would make a different choice. Each choice would have its own takers. Each choice would lead you down an entirely different path, as one way always leads to another. One day, everyone would rationalise their choices and point to them as the ones that made all the difference. “That has made all the difference” can be said with a heavy heart or with glee. Or with a mixed flavour of regret and relief. 

@PursuitofHappyness Whichever path you choose, I genuinely hope you, my friend, will get to a point someday, when you will say it with joy. Pursuit of Happyness is my favourite movie of all time. There’s a line in that movie. 

You can chase your dream with a job. You can chase your dream without a job. Just protect that dream, man. Don’t let anyone tell you how you can or cannot chase that dream. You know best. It’s your dream after all. You don’t ever have to justify your dream to anyone. You will one day rationalise your own choices, whichever path you choose. And you will say that you protected your dream in the way you best knew how. That’s the stuff of poetry.  I wish you the very best, my friend. :)

Lol, if only Frost had said “Shit just happens the way that it happens, and it does not mean anything” in so many words. 😂

Positive Attitude refers to a psychological tendency that is expressed by evaluating a particular object with some degree of favour. The positive attitudes yield favourable behaviour. There are many variables which help in the formation of favourable attitudes. The persons having positive attitudes towards the job and organisation can contribute their best to the organisation.

IDENTIFY THE TRAITS OF A PERSON WITH POSITIVE ATTITUDE

1. Optimism: Optimism doesn't mean ignoring your problems or denying the existence of adversity. Instead, an optimistic outlook allows you to deal with challenging situations more productively. Optimism manifests itself as a willingness to make an effort and take a chance, rather than assuming that your efforts will be unsuccessful or that your circumstances will never improve.

2. Acceptance: Sometimes, despite your best efforts, circumstances just don't work out. For those circumstances, acceptance can help you learn from your mistakes. Acceptance can also help you maintain perspective, rather than exaggerating the situation. Saying goes like “You have to stop shooting yourself, stop berating yourself for something that didn't work quite right.”

3. Resilience: Resilience allows you to rebound from adversity rather than turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse. A major component to resilience is the ability to maintain daily routines while coping with major setbacks. It is about reaching out to other people as well as nurturing yourself. Building and maintaining a support system is an important aspect of resilience.

4. Gratitude: Gratitude is an important aspect of a positive attitude. Practicing gratitude is an active, ongoing process that requires active cultivation. Taking time each day to contemplate the good aspects of your life, through such activities as enjoying a sunset is an act of gratitude. Noticing beauty in your surroundings can generate a sense of gratitude.

HOW TO INCULCATE POSITIVE ATTITUDE?

Your attitude plays a huge part in how you look at life. It affects how you see things around you and how you handle situations. You can’t control what happens to you. But you can control your attitude. Following the tips below can help you have a more positive attitude:
1. Develop good habits: Your attitude is up to you. With a little effort, you can change a negative attitude into a positive one. But the only person who can change your attitude is you. Developing good habits like doing physical exercise, meditation, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, etc. can go a great way to lift your spirits.
2. Follow the path of optimism and gratitude: Take a moment to think about something good that could happen to gain a positive outlook. Remember, when things aren’t going well, tomorrow is a brand-new day.
3. Keep Good Company: Build positive friendships. It’s hard to maintain a positive attitude when your friends or co-workers have negative ones. Rarely will you see a positive person in a group of negative people. Negativity spreads. So, avoid negative people or situations.
4. Enjoy a hobby: It’s good to have a hobby or enjoyable activity that you can fall back on when things get tough or you’ve had a hard day. Most hobbies allow you to relax Example: Learn a new sport or Take a cooking class. Doing something different is a great attitude.
5. Don't be a self-critique: one needs to be good to oneself. Look at the bigger picture is one of the best ways to change your attitude. Is your life really so bad? Look at the things you can be grateful for and your attitude will change for the better.
6. Ask for a helping hand: If you are trying to improve your attitude, ask a friend or family member to tell you when you’re slipping back into your old habits. A reminder to look on the bright side may be all you need.

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