After multiple failed attempts to get back on track when I dcd to strt with all zeal on 13th ...I got sick....after a non productive week feeling kindof lost n disappointed....after a long break it always feels like I have to strt again ...it's been more than two months after prelims .......will strt fresh from tomorrow morning with a hope to get back on track finally
M writing it here so dat I can stay accountable.... takecare everyone :)
Is there anyone who is facing the dilemma of moving out for studies or staying at home ......
I have all privacy n luxuries to prepare with no disturbance at home ......but at times I feel m way too comfortable here n lacking competition ...dat results in procrastination
Basically when m all focused concentrated n able to give my 💯 (which is mostly when exam is near)then I feel it's the best to stay here only
Earlier I thought of moving out fr sure after prelims because at times I feel very much isolated n pressurized (since not left with any social life ....not even friends )
Any suggestions ?
Failing in prelims gave me a good jolt. That shame I felt on the night of October 10th after I tallied my answers with answer keys, it had some good utility. But that shame is fading away and I miss it.
Last two months weren't bad but they weren't great either. But then, when I set such unrealistic targets, I think nothing will ever be great enough. A lot more could have been done but the past is like that google doc for which you have no editing rights, only have viewing rights. And even the data you are allowed to view is being corrupted every single second.
I have been sick for the last few days with suboptimal productivity irking me like a think blanket with thousand holes on a cold night. Used it as an excuse to read some other stuff. This also gives a good completion point to the first phase of my 2022 attempt.
For the next two months, I am trying to mix pre and mains. PSIR has to be done, tests to be given including some backlog tests, ethics & GS FLTs. In addition, one prelims revision of core subjects & solving any pending prelims tests. That should be the second phase.
To declutter the mind, I must first declutter my physical space. So, will do a little safai, especially of my desk which is suffering under the weight of everything I have studied in the past two months. Like, its some kind of archeological thing. The top-most layer of the books tell you what I have studying recently. The bottom most books are those that I was studying sometime in the last few months but just didn't care enough to revise.
Have been trying to stay away from telegram-- my final frontier of distractions. The mann (the mind) has been less chanchal (turbulent or hyperactive) & as the old bollywood song goes, less random. Might as well throw away my phone in the dustbin. 2022 me padhai ke siva karna hi kya hai?
New beginnings :)
Sounds familiar 😑
ATB
@Titanium same goes for me...making plans after plans...nothing worked...days are passing... feeling guilty at night...cycle goes on...feeling to run away from everything and start afresh....but dar lagta h phir se ek saal lagega....ghr me kisi ne nahi kaha ki upsc kro...but dil hmesa kehta h ki upsc kro....pta ni kis stage pe life jak khadi ho gai h....feeling ki state level ki exam de deta hu...then again thought comes ki upsc hi kar leta hu.....jb se lockdown me Ghar aaya hu idhr hi hu....phle ni parhta tha to Sharm ati thi ab to na sarm ati h na hi afssos hota h bs khata hu net chalata hu ar so jata hu .. time fly anything now a days...lekin guilt hota h hmesa pta ni kya karu .......ab to lagta h man lu ki har koi upsc ki prep ni kar sakta....lekin deep down there is still a faint voice which is always telling ki "ek bar ar"Pta ni kya karu.... accountability hi ni aarai....koi group agr hai jaha daily Target dete ho .... Google meet organise hote ho...ar koi bs ye bta de ki ye kar lo sahi se upsc nikl jaega.....apne bnae hue plans pe bhrosa hi ni hora h ....pta ni is cycle se kaise niklu....
First of all for a while forget everything n take a deep breath
Stop thinking about UPSC n kya hga kese hga ..me kya kr rha hu ....just take it easy
N then just stop looking at a bigger picture n big targets ... syllabus completion
For now u just plan for next hour strt doing dat .....just try to be better than previous hour .....it will take some time but this way things will fall in place ....don't ask for clarity right now ....just forget everything complete small small targets ....u will be sorted on ur own
Baaki if u stay like this n keep thinking about life results kya Krna bla bla ....u will find urself nowhere .....so basically stop being controlled by what you can't control
Just decide small target ...finish it n be happy for present accomplishments
Something is better than nothing
Itna ho jayega toh baaki bhi ho jayega 😀
Feel free to talk :)
11/1
Wake up at 6
Update it.
Woke up at 6 but didn't get up because whenever I plan neend nhi aati h raaton 😑
Targets
First half :
1.Newspaper + notes of yesterday
2. History (class -6 )
Second slot :
IR - 2 LECTURES + REVISE
Third slot:
Optional
Unit 6.1 (P2)
Meditation, ☑️
1.☑️
2. Going too slow but ok making notes (my atma is instigating me to finish it one day like I always did but nooooooo😂)
Second slot(only did one lecture )
Optional Still left with few topics
Newspaper took so much time in search of more Gyan n notes making ....
Day 2 - fine
Abhi k liye shubhratri :)
Bas neend aa jaye kyunki ab padhne ki himmat nhi h😑
@sstarrr @Naadan_Parinda @Titanium what do you say?
It never worked out( kuch din sab enthusiastic hte h....it's difficult to be on the same page ) .....n everyone is shifting towards prelims now ...as of now I don't have time ....what m doing is atleast do the predictable part ache n revising multiple times ....so that after prelims I can deal with this stuff only ( value addition ,answer writing fr bouncer ques etc)
U can post ques n brainstorm on ur own ...If I get time I will let you know .....abhi m doing alot
@sstarrr @Naadan_Parinda @Titanium what do you say?
It never worked out( kuch din sab enthusiastic hte h....it's difficult to be on the same page ) .....n everyone is shifting towards prelims now ...as of now I don't have time ....what m doing is atleast do the predictable part ache n revising multiple times ....so that after prelims I can deal with this stuff only ( value addition ,answer writing fr bouncer ques etc)
U can post ques n brainstorm on ur own ...If I get time I will let you know .....abhi m doing alot
I understand. Perhaps after prelims then.
Sure :)
Woke up with fever yesterday so just able to finish half of it
Day -4
13/1
Same targets
A day full of sneezes🤧
But somehow managed to study n finish almost everything ( except newspaper notes n revision)
:)
Reminder :
I am incharge of how I feel
I am able to change anything that is holding me back 🙂
Take care everyone
» hide previous quotesWoke up with fever yesterday so just able to finish half of it
Day -4
13/1
Same targets
A day full of sneezes🤧
But somehow managed to study n finish almost everything ( except newspaper notes n revision)
:)
Reminder :
I am incharge of how I feel
I am able to change anything that is holding me back 🙂
Take care everyone
14/1
Day-5
1. The Hindu
2. Revision
3. IR TEST
Day-6
15/1
Not doing gud so no specific targets
Day-6
15/1
Not doing gud so no specific targets
Day-7
16/1
1. Newspaper
2. Class -7 (his) - 2 chap
3. Security issues -1 lecture
4. Optional -6.2
Done with the test. I was worried I would not be able to write for 3 hours on the go( had very little answer writing practice so far). But I did and while lot of improvement in quality is needed obviously , it was still so satisfying to almost finish the paper in time.
Targets for this Week
1. International Relations- Notes Revision
2. History- Finish Early Medieval (Ch-10 from Upinder Singh)
3. CA- Oct,21 Monthly
4. Revision for next MGP Test
Couldn't read CA monthly. Rest done. Overall a decent week with a lot of positives.
Targets for this week
- Plassey to Partition(2nd Reading)
- Revision for next MGP Test(GS-2)
- Prelims PYQ Analysis for Eco and Env.
- and ofc Newspaper+CA
Keep moving one step at a time. The destination will arrive sooner than you realize.
Had a good start but got sick mid-week .So all targets stuck at 50% or thereabouts.
Targets for this Week:
- Finish Previous week's backlogs
- Write last MGP test before Pre.
- Continue with PYQ Analysis.
PS: Has anyone used PMF's Environment book. Would you recommend it instead of Shankar IAS?
Yes ....it's gud :)
18/1-23/1
🔸 Med his ncert (7)
🔸 Economy (pillar -4,5,6)
🔸 Security issues
🔸 Optional - unit 6,7
🔸Revision n backlogs ( previous week)
Done with the targets n few additional things as well
But idk y I don't feel m studying until unless I study like when there is no time to think anything apart from studies...when I don't need an alarm to wake up..tab Tak feel hi nhi aata
So I will finish some miscellaneous stuff in 2-3 days .....then only I will post thde challenging targets tbhi lgega pdhayi ho rhi h :)
