Civil Services Mains 2020 Results: In or Out ? Way ahead, gratitude and Pain
The Civils Mains result has been declared. This thread is for sharing your grief , joy , mixed feelings - absolutely anything and everything.
People will tell they went to iit.But won't tell that they got into it with 1 lakh rank(if you know what i mean) when I missed it despite getting 10678 rank(those days new IITs hav'nt come up in such huge numbers as they r today)
They will tell you they went to IIM Ahmedabad but wont tell they got there with 82 percentile.While I had to contend with IIM Lucknow,Indore and Kozhikode despite a 99.5 percentile(if you know what I mean).
Similarly people advised me last year about writing mains answer because they had got 750s rank.When marks came I had more marks than them,but I did'nt get interview call(if you know what I mean)
Anyways,frustration of abhilash in episode 5 sitting on that tea shop was genuine.Many feel the same way.
If you know what I mean.Anyways there is no point in discussing things I can't change.Best of luck to all of us.
1 thing I realized here is that people will discuss very high intelluctual things.Tell you that they xyz rank or have done pqr things.They put you down.
But when you do background check you come to know you knew much more than them,had better marks than them.
Thanks and bye.Don't curse me now.Had I known this gyaan some 2 months back I would have been much more calm now.
It was eye opening 2 months here.
Thanks @Noleisgoat for all you have done.
Peace and amen
Hi Sunny,
I am sorry to bring this up but can't help it. I had messaged you after the Mains result were out to know whether you had made it or not. Like many Forum peeps, I too was worried about your result and your well being, given that your comments here prior to the results were quite depressing and sad. (As rightly pointed out by@SergioRamos ) You reverted back next day and informed that you have made it. I was so happy bro.
However, you added in the same reply that you had attempted suicide a few days back and have come back from hospital bed. Those words sank my heart. I did feel helpless. All I did was write a few words of comfort and had asked you to take care.
All I want to say is please don't waste your time in complaining and whining about how UPSC has taken away life out of you. You are a talented, hard working, ambitious person. Why to waste energy and time in looking down upon fellow humans?
Please focus on bringing positivity and cheerfulness in your life, regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in. I'm afraid the negativity that you have unfortunately accumulated over the years might reflect in the Personality Test and affect your scores. Please don't let that happen.
Everyone on the Forum wants you to succeed and contribute to our nation constructively. Sorry if my words sounded harsh. Take care of yourself. Peace out. 🤘
What prevented you from putting this as a personal message? Esp considering you had to bring up his mental wellbeing?
Kaafi zyada. Tabhi toh school mei Physics mei fail hota tha. :p
Mai bhi :P But without Ghalib :P
Glad to know that I am not alone. :p
Mujhe Physics samjh nai aati thi, so I'd open up Urdu literature and read. That was my escape route from those ugly theorems and horrifying numericals. :p
@NOLEisGOAT Maybe it is justified. But should our first instinct be to take a dig at the reserved candidates? Or to consider for a second, why did it had to be this way? Why is our society, our institutions so discriminatory? Why no anger against politicians who instead of working for the actual upliftment of such communities resort to last minute pre-poll announcements and sheer tokenism? Also, just getting a seat at IIT is not winning at life. Even in urban areas, its not the case that there isn't any caste based discrimination - it happens daily, just in a "veiled" fashion.
My simple point again being the thought process you have is alien to those who have had bitter personal experiences regarding reservation. How do we make them see what you see when we are ourselves blind to their plight, perceived or real?
People will tell they went to iit.But won't tell that they got into it with 1 lakh rank(if you know what i mean) when I missed it despite getting 10678 rank(those days new IITs hav'nt come up in such huge numbers as they r today)
They will tell you they went to IIM Ahmedabad but wont tell they got there with 82 percentile.While I had to contend with IIM Lucknow,Indore and Kozhikode despite a 99.5 percentile(if you know what I mean).
Similarly people advised me last year about writing mains answer because they had got 750s rank.When marks came I had more marks than them,but I did'nt get interview call(if you know what I mean)
Anyways,frustration of abhilash in episode 5 sitting on that tea shop was genuine.Many feel the same way.
If you know what I mean.Anyways there is no point in discussing things I can't change.Best of luck to all of us.
1 thing I realized here is that people will discuss very high intelluctual things.Tell you that they xyz rank or have done pqr things.They put you down.
But when you do background check you come to know you knew much more than them,had better marks than them.
Thanks and bye.Don't curse me now.Had I known this gyaan some 2 months back I would have been much more calm now.
It was eye opening 2 months here.
Thanks @Noleisgoat for all you have done.
Peace and amen
Hi Sunny,
I am sorry to bring this up but can't help it. I had messaged you after the Mains result were out to know whether you had made it or not. Like many Forum peeps, I too was worried about your result and your well being, given that your comments here prior to the results were quite depressing and sad. (As rightly pointed out by@SergioRamos ) You reverted back next day and informed that you have made it. I was so happy bro.
However, you added in the same reply that you had attempted suicide a few days back and have come back from hospital bed. Those words sank my heart. I did feel helpless. All I did was write a few words of comfort and had asked you to take care.
All I want to say is please don't waste your time in complaining and whining about how UPSC has taken away life out of you. You are a talented, hard working, ambitious person. Why to waste energy and time in looking down upon fellow humans?
Please focus on bringing positivity and cheerfulness in your life, regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in. I'm afraid the negativity that you have unfortunately accumulated over the years might reflect in the Personality Test and affect your scores. Please don't let that happen.
Everyone on the Forum wants you to succeed and contribute to our nation constructively. Sorry if my words sounded harsh. Take care of yourself. Peace out. 🤘
No offence but people like you are the lowest of the low. To score points in a debate, you brought about in public something he told you in confidence while pretending you care about him.
Imomf,thepolicydreamer
@NOLEisGOAT Btw how much time have you followed that Rom Rom Ji vlog ??
just that video. maybe a couple more. few years back. wasnt impressed i guess. so didnt follow. why?
EiChan,@NOLEisGOAT I really do want to understand and empathize. All our discussion about the social, historical, political dimensions of the issue is going to be useless if people are feeling angry and hurt, because no one can discuss things rationally in that state. The emotional wounds, both perceived and real, have to be healed first. Or at least acknowledged. And that can't be done if someone feels like they aren't heard and understood.
I find this "just saying what I feel, don't pounce on me" or "if you know what i mean" variety of comments very irritating, but now I'm seeing that it comes from a very real sense of feeling boxed into a corner. In some spaces there is no place for people to honestly express their feelings of hurt and bitterness, as we (myself included) may have ended up demonstrating here. That's why it comes out in veiled ways. If we don't like the veil, it's up to us to be willing to engage sincerely with what's behind it. And that requires some maturity on our part - genuinely trying to understand someone's bitterness, even if I feel it is not justified, will only help me grow as a person. It is not the equivalent of accepting an anti-reservation stance. There has to be space for us to engage with each other as humans even while we disagree politically.
@SunnyParashar some responses to your comment got a bit too personal, I want to apologize for my part in it. I hope some other time we can have a sensitive and sincere discussion.
@NOLEisGOAT Maybe it is justified. But should our first instinct be to take a dig at the reserved candidates? Or to consider for a second, why did it had to be this way? Why is our society, our institutions so discriminatory? Why no anger against politicians who instead of working for the actual upliftment of such communities resort to last minute pre-poll announcements and sheer tokenism? Also, just getting a seat at IIT is not winning at life. Even in urban areas, its not the case that there isn't any caste based discrimination - it happens daily, just in a "veiled" fashion.
My simple point again being the thought process you have is alien to those who have had bitter personal experiences regarding reservation. How do we make them see what you see when we are ourselves blind to their plight, perceived or real?
Personal experiences makes perceptions.
Also taking idealistic stand here on this platform is trend.
Reality is different for everyone that has to be accepted.
Also we all know when we discuss reservation thing, what are its drawbacks, what reforms needed.
People will tell they went to iit.But won't tell that they got into it with 1 lakh rank(if you know what i mean) when I missed it despite getting 10678 rank(those days new IITs hav'nt come up in such huge numbers as they r today)
They will tell you they went to IIM Ahmedabad but wont tell they got there with 82 percentile.While I had to contend with IIM Lucknow,Indore and Kozhikode despite a 99.5 percentile(if you know what I mean).
Similarly people advised me last year about writing mains answer because they had got 750s rank.When marks came I had more marks than them,but I did'nt get interview call(if you know what I mean)
Anyways,frustration of abhilash in episode 5 sitting on that tea shop was genuine.Many feel the same way.
If you know what I mean.Anyways there is no point in discussing things I can't change.Best of luck to all of us.
1 thing I realized here is that people will discuss very high intelluctual things.Tell you that they xyz rank or have done pqr things.They put you down.
But when you do background check you come to know you knew much more than them,had better marks than them.
Thanks and bye.Don't curse me now.Had I known this gyaan some 2 months back I would have been much more calm now.
It was eye opening 2 months here.
Thanks @Noleisgoat for all you have done.
Peace and amen
Hi Sunny,
I am sorry to bring this up but can't help it. I had messaged you after the Mains result were out to know whether you had made it or not. Like many Forum peeps, I too was worried about your result and your well being, given that your comments here prior to the results were quite depressing and sad. (As rightly pointed out by@SergioRamos ) You reverted back next day and informed that you have made it. I was so happy bro.
However, you added in the same reply that you had attempted suicide a few days back and have come back from hospital bed. Those words sank my heart. I did feel helpless. All I did was write a few words of comfort and had asked you to take care.
All I want to say is please don't waste your time in complaining and whining about how UPSC has taken away life out of you. You are a talented, hard working, ambitious person. Why to waste energy and time in looking down upon fellow humans?
Please focus on bringing positivity and cheerfulness in your life, regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in. I'm afraid the negativity that you have unfortunately accumulated over the years might reflect in the Personality Test and affect your scores. Please don't let that happen.
Everyone on the Forum wants you to succeed and contribute to our nation constructively. Sorry if my words sounded harsh. Take care of yourself. Peace out. 🤘
No offence but people like you are the lowest of the low. To score points in a debate, you brought about in public something he told you in confidence while pretending you care about him.
The message clearly says he told him over a PM. The guy knows exactly what he did. He was hurt by his comments so he decided to bring up something which would hurt him, except he decided to project the comment as something coming from a well-wisher.
thepolicydreamer,My simple point again being the thought process you have is alien to those who have had bitter personal experiences regarding reservation. How do we make them see what you see when we are ourselves blind to their plight, perceived or real?
Everywhere, discussions and civilized debates are considered for a healthy exchange of ideas. Nobody here is saying do not talk about it or do not put your point, but taunting is no way no?
We can discuss anything and everything, but nicely. It is no good justifying this kind of behaviour as a reflection of inside angst. It is akin to justifying violence towards others just because you feel something different.
There are as many ideas as there are heads on this earth. But it does not give one person to outright belittle just because they can.
Do you know why the belittling comes? Because there are no logical arguments on the other side. Violence, physical or verbal of any kind is needed when words aren't sufficient to make people agree to you.
Rules are made for the general populace and not for exceptional cases. There will be 95 "deserving" candidates for reservation who benefitted from the policy and people will turn a blind eye. There will be 5 cases where the parents are able and rich and the kids still get reservations. People will blow it out of proportion just because they want to attack the policy anyhow.
We follow a democracy, the basis for which is representation. SC, ST, and OBC are 70% of the population. Just do a simple social experiment. Next time you pass by any colony in cities, just look at the nameplates. You will hardly find 30% of the SC,ST,OBC there. Now move it up a notch, go through a comparatively richer colony and see the 30% come down further. In this capitalistic world, where money is a great decider of where you will end up, is it no enough evidence?
Secondly, you might say, okay but caste as a concept is not followed anymore. Then why in Mr Modi's government, out of 89 secretaries, there are 3 SC, 1 Dalit and 0 OBC?
Then, of the 93 additional secretaries in central government ministries, just six are SCs and five are STs, while there are no OBCs of this rank either.
Among the 275 joint secretaries, 13 (4.73 per cent) are SCs, nine (3.27 per cent) are STs and 19 belong to the OBC category.
(2019 data)
The moment any sort of discretion comes in appointments, the SC, ST, and OBC are the first to suffer. Why?
I have only given examples regarding UPSC posts. The point is not pulling up data and overloading it as I can do it all day. The point is that from birth even when you achieve some standing in life, caste matters. Such a serious topic requires proper decent discussions and not random rants based on half-truths.
Is humility too much to expect?
The message clearly says he told him over a PM. The guy knows exactly what he did. He was hurt by his comments so he decided to bring up something which would hurt him, except he decided to project the comment as something coming from a well-wisher.
As you can read in this screenshot, he himself had commented about the "personal" incident openly on the forum one month back.
@NOLEisGOAT I really do want to understand and empathize. All our discussion about the social, historical, political dimensions of the issue is going to be useless if people are feeling angry and hurt, because no one can discuss things rationally in that state. The emotional wounds, both perceived and real, have to be healed first. Or at least acknowledged. And that can't be done if someone feels like they aren't heard and understood.
I find this "just saying what I feel, don't pounce on me" or "if you know what i mean" variety of comments very irritating, but now I'm seeing that it comes from a very real sense of feeling boxed into a corner. In some spaces there is no place for people to honestly express their feelings of hurt and bitterness, as we (myself included) may have ended up demonstrating here. That's why it comes out in veiled ways. If we don't like the veil, it's up to us to be willing to engage sincerely with what's behind it. And that requires some maturity on our part - genuinely trying to understand someone's bitterness, even if I feel it is not justified, will only help me grow as a person. It is not the equivalent of accepting an anti-reservation stance. There has to be space for us to engage with each other as humans even while we disagree politically.
@SunnyParashar some responses to your comment got a bit too personal, I want to apologize for my part in it. I hope some other time we can have a sensitive and sincere discussion.
On the day of mains result, I was hurting because I didn't get in and went for a walk, I met an acquaintance on the way who happens to be from SC category, she was delighted on her mains success and rightfully so but then she went on for about 5 mins on how noone from her library managed to clear mains except her and how first attempt students are flocking her for tips and she was so so smug about the fact that only she qualified. I never had any bitterness about reservations prior to that but that day I felt angry and jealous of her because she comes from a much better socio economic background than me but still she had to score way lesser than me for the exact same exam with even more resources than I could afford. So, more often than not the anger of UR category students isn't really towards the whole community but it's the personal experiences and severe frustration of extremely high competition for UR seats where not so genius students like me feel like it's unattainable.
The message clearly says he told him over a PM. The guy knows exactly what he did. He was hurt by his comments so he decided to bring up something which would hurt him, except he decided to project the comment as something coming from a well-wisher.
As you can read in this screenshot, he himself had commented about the "personal" incident openly on the forum one month back.
Most of the people might be reading your comments first time would not have known hence the outrage I feel. Although, old forum peeps were well aware how sunny was pretty depressed and talked all this post mains openly.
Btw, baaki sab to theek hai, ye tabs icon pe emoji kaise laaye bhai? :O
@NOLEisGOAT I really do want to understand and empathize. All our discussion about the social, historical, political dimensions of the issue is going to be useless if people are feeling angry and hurt, because no one can discuss things rationally in that state. The emotional wounds, both perceived and real, have to be healed first. Or at least acknowledged. And that can't be done if someone feels like they aren't heard and understood.
I find this "just saying what I feel, don't pounce on me" or "if you know what i mean" variety of comments very irritating, but now I'm seeing that it comes from a very real sense of feeling boxed into a corner. In some spaces there is no place for people to honestly express their feelings of hurt and bitterness, as we (myself included) may have ended up demonstrating here. That's why it comes out in veiled ways. If we don't like the veil, it's up to us to be willing to engage sincerely with what's behind it. And that requires some maturity on our part - genuinely trying to understand someone's bitterness, even if I feel it is not justified, will only help me grow as a person. It is not the equivalent of accepting an anti-reservation stance. There has to be space for us to engage with each other as humans even while we disagree politically.
@SunnyParashar some responses to your comment got a bit too personal, I want to apologize for my part in it. I hope some other time we can have a sensitive and sincere discussion.
On the day of mains result, I was hurting because I didn't get in and went for a walk, I met an acquaintance on the way who happens to be from SC category, she was delighted on her mains success and rightfully so but then she went on for about 5 mins on how noone from her library managed to clear mains except her and how first attempt students are flocking her for tips and she was so so smug about the fact that only she qualified. I never had any bitterness about reservations prior to that but that day I felt angry and jealous of her because she comes from a much better socio economic background than me but still she had to score way lesser than me for the exact same exam with even more resources than I could afford. So, more often than not the anger of UR category students isn't really towards the whole community but it's the personal experiences and severe frustration of extremely high competition for UR seats where not so genius students like me feel like it's unattainable.
You know, experiences like these have to be shared and welcomed. Stories from all sides need to be heard and shared to have a comprehensive overview of things and not get stuck in echo chambers. You wrote your heart out openly and put up the issue you faced with the aspects where the system seems to fail. We can have dialogues and discussions nicely. I am happy that you did not curse or taunt and chose a much nicer way. Cheers! :)
thepolicydreamer,Asmita_101
@NOLEisGOAT Maybe it is justified. But should our first instinct be to take a dig at the reserved candidates? Or to consider for a second, why did it had to be this way? Why is our society, our institutions so discriminatory? Why no anger against politicians who instead of working for the actual upliftment of such communities resort to last minute pre-poll announcements and sheer tokenism? Also, just getting a seat at IIT is not winning at life. Even in urban areas, its not the case that there isn't any caste based discrimination - it happens daily, just in a "veiled" fashion.
My simple point again being the thought process you have is alien to those who have had bitter personal experiences regarding reservation. How do we make them see what you see when we are ourselves blind to their plight, perceived or real?
Personal experiences makes perceptions.
Also taking idealistic stand here on this platform is trend.
Reality is different for everyone that has to be accepted.
Also we all know when we discuss reservation thing, what are its drawbacks, what reforms needed.
Exactly, most general candidates don't have problem with some dalit from Up-bihar or some tribal from Kerala taking advantage of reservation system. We would be really happy if our suffering is actually benefitting the marginalized sections.
But the problem arises when candidates having equal or much better socio- eco background than us are getting undue advantage because of reservation system,just because they belong to a particular caste .
Also ,for people trying to create 20%- 80% binary here ,bhai sc-st act k against OBCs bahut badh chadh ke protest kar rhe the 2018 m. Sirf 20% ne discrimination nhi kia h ,even meena ( st) m bhi zamindar meena well off hain nd wo chokidar meena k sath discrimination krte h. Nd dono milkar bheel meenas ki seat kha jaate h .
The message clearly says he told him over a PM. The guy knows exactly what he did. He was hurt by his comments so he decided to bring up something which would hurt him, except he decided to project the comment as something coming from a well-wisher.
As you can read in this screenshot, he himself had commented about the "personal" incident openly on the forum one month back.
Most of the people might be reading your comments first time would not have known hence the outrage I feel. Although, old forum peeps were well aware how sunny was pretty depressed and talked all this post mains openly.
Btw, baaki sab to theek hai, ye tabs icon pe emoji kaise laaye bhai? :O
More than 100 tabs are open bhai. Shayad usse emoji aa jaata hai. Try karke dekho :P
SergioRamos,The message clearly says he told him over a PM. The guy knows exactly what he did. He was hurt by his comments so he decided to bring up something which would hurt him, except he decided to project the comment as something coming from a well-wisher.
As you can read in this screenshot, he himself had commented about the "personal" incident openly on the forum one month back.
Bhai perhaps thats because he didnt have anyone else to confide in? and why are you projecting it like he did something wrong? in the worst case he was seeking attention. even so are we so consumed in ourselves that we cant be sensitive to other peoples suffering? whether we like them or not? plus lets not be naive. by bringing it up now, during the heated rebuttal, you were indirectly saying "this guy has a history of depression and negative ideas. dont take him seriously. hes not mentally stable". passive aggressive. even when your side of the argument has valid points to counter him easily. if you really did care you would have sent a personal mail, rather than sugarcoat your hate as genuine concern.
thepolicydreamer,
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