That Sinking Feeling of Prelims Failure – & Road Ahead

At 7AM, on October 29th, the Union Public Service Commission declared the Indian Forest Services Examination results. And at about 8:15PM, the results of the Prelims 2021 examination, about 19 days and 4 hours after the exam was conducted on October 10th – was declared.

The Prelims result is more bloodshed than usual this year.

One, the paper was so tricky and difficult that we could fairly say that it was the toughest paper of the decade.

Two, even the best of candidates were afraid of the results this year.

So when yesterday morning when Shreyansh T, wrote to me – “Sir, Can’t study a thing , irrationally illogical but paralysing fear”, I could sense the tremble in his voice. Or the hands that held the phone that typed it.[1]

Flunking Prelims is easy.

Getting over and getting back to the grind?

Not so easy.

And flunking Prelims is among the biggest known painful experiences you can have in your twenties [2].

Especially if you have worked hard for it.

Here are some ways to get over it.

#1 Do not judge yourself over a prelims failure

Do not be the society you so want to change. When we flunk prelims, the entire society discredits us.

“Iska Prelims bhi nahi nikla”

( He / She has not even cleared Prelims )

As if the Prelims is the easiest part of the the examination.

Prelims may just be the more objective one ( and not so any longer given the subjective elements in the question ) , but it is not by one bit the easiest part of the examination. In fact, it is the one that requires the most effort.

At this point, do not judge yourself – your self worth, which must have hit rock bottom – or how will you face your parents / siblings / relatives / teachers / mentors.

Do not be the society you so want to change. Be kind to yourself, like you would be to a younger sibling.

You owe it to no one – but only to yourself to succeed – at any stage, at any point, and in any walk of life.

No one can / could / should question the legitimacy of your efforts – as long as you feel you gave it a good fight.

At a time when you self confidence and self esteem is at rock bottom, this is the worst time to evaluate yourself.

#2 Take a break from the Preparation for sometime.

This is the perfect time to take a 7 day / 10 day / 15 days or even a month break from the exam, change the city and relax and reflect upon what you want in and from life, and if this is the only way to achieve it.

If you feel you have been writing the exam incessantly without a break, consider taking a drop.

I often say in my classes – We step back – not because we are afraid.

But because we want to look at the bigger picture.

You may just discover some major revelations, some fresh perspectives, and some major flaws – not in your preparation – but in the way you plan and think through.

Sometimes, we may look at the same picture, but see different things – depending on our vantage point.

Take a break, and figure out yourself before you try to figure out the exam.

#3 Cry yourself a river

The Prelims results mornings are usually the most painful. The shock of it all is generally felt in the lonely morning that follows the prelims debacle. The crying in the washroom / the shower so that no one can see ( or hear ).

Its okay to cry your heart out for once. Shout at the top of your voice, and yell.

Get things out of the system. Out of your head. 

Cry out so loud, or so deep that the voices in the head are quiet for a few days.

Even if that means crying out a river. Give it a shot and get done with it.

#4 Give Prelims the time it deserves/ demands

When we flunk prelims, it looks as if we will never be able to clear the prelims. Not in the history of mankind.

Not in our lifetime.

The truth is far from it.

I usually meet people who clear Prelims in their 4/5th attempt. Their story pretty much sums up the problems sometimes.

What does the time commitment a candidate who clears his first prelims in 4rth attempt ( and making it to the list in that single attempt ) look like ?

It often looks like this :

• 1st Attempt – Write the exam, and get the “feel” of it.
• 2nd Attempt – Prepare for 2 months and “see if I can clear it.”
• 3rd Attempt – Prepare for 3 months and plug the gaps of last attempt and do a good job.
• 4rth Attempt – Prepare for 4 months whole heartedly, balancing PSIR optional
• 5th Attempt – Leave everything – no GS Mains – No Optional, and give 5 months ONLY to prelims – and ending up with Writing first Mains.

A lot of our life problems can be solved, if we just get the philosophy right. And one philosophy which we can fairly adopt is that if we give something just a little more time, we can do wonders.

On an infinitely long timescale, we can literally solve any problem.

Can we send Man to Mars and build a colony?

Not next year!

Can we do it in the next 1000 years ?

Fairly high chances.

Give yourself more time to prepare for prelims without being seduced in the intellectually orgasmic Mains preparation – especially PSIR ( because I meet tons of PSIR folks writing PSIR Tests in Feb, when Prelims is three months away ) .

Just a month more could do wonders for you. Five months is a good enough time to crack Prelims – even if you fall sick with Malaria ( don’t actually ! ) or get dumped by another adult your age whom you call your boy/girl friend – and the heartbreak that follows – which may seem fatal and life threatening at first.

#5 You had a bad year, not a bad life.

A bad Prelims result is a bad result. It’s a bad year sometimes. But thats it. Thats all.

If you have a bad result in 2021, chances are in 2020, you were not doing something right. If you plan to have a good 2022 ( or 2023 ) the time to act is now. Make the most of your time.

Remember, success is never ending and failure is never final.

If at this point, as you read this, you feel as if your lungs will collapse, or you can’t breath, do the opposite.

Breath.

Get some fresh air.

And a huge glass of water.

Because if the autumn has come, spring can’t be far away.

On this planet, we have seasons. And in life too, we have seasons.

Seasons change. Our times change. Circumstances change.

Our understanding of the exam changes.

And the results change too.

Identify your intrinsic value beyond the exam.

The value of you as a person beyond the exam.

And then set up the goal to clear the exam. The exam has to be “one” of the things you want in life, and not the “only” thing.

It is okay to have a bad year. It is okay to have failed sometimes.

Rise up, and remember, when you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

You need no sympathy. You need no pity. At best, all you need is some support right now. Maybe a hug.

Maybe some personal time.

Some time to think, some to reflect.

Give yourself that time.

Those luxuries.

And maybe a fresh breeze of Delhi air at 6AM tomorrow morning?

Until next time,

Neyawn

—

[1] “He is stupid, I thought to myself. He has a rank 1 in BPSC and is prepared like an arsenal for the prelims. As I write this, he messaged that he cleared both CSE and IFoS cut off.

[2] minus that college heartbreak, that makes you the man / woman you are.