Instructions: Write an essay on any one of the following in about 1000-1200 words in the comment section below.
Time : 90 minutes
Marks : 125
1. Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
2. The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only the tools of human minds.
Important: Before you start writing the Essay, read tips on How to write a good Essay.
Kindly review:
Tried to summarize the idea in lesser words so you may not get bored. 🙂
1. Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Education, a tool of liberation and a way of living the life free from all the constraints and barrier of humanity. Since the very inception when the first human being set foot on earth, a curiosity has always remain in the heart to know and to be known. So, we started writing on wall, stones and caves. Gradually,we developed our scripts and languages and innumerable written objects got developed. Undoubtedly, education has shaped our desire and dreams according to our needs and made the mankind pledged to GOD for the purpose of they were made.
It has sometimes arguable that education should be imparted according to the materialistic needs of people.Such education obviously would be informal in nature and therefore, the skills and training would a part of its curriculum. Informal education would lead us to be employable and therefore we would be able to set our foot in the society and fulfill our social and economical responsibility diligently. In such period of technological advancement, it becomes imperative to update ourselves day by day and of course the whole world structure is based on how much we are skilled and well suited to the social and economical architect.
Does this mean, formal education has lost its relevance and dogma? Does formal education has become obsolete and so the cause of backwardness. Has it been remained only a symbol of primitive culture? If we look at the formal education from the lens of humanity, social integration and morality of mankind, we would better assess its relevance and value. it is prejudice to measure the worth of education only on the span of economical and technological advancement. Every child born is like a mound of soft clay that takes shape on the wheel of education and surrounding’s environment. Here, formal education plays a vital role in shaping the personality and building the thoughts of a person. It is the formal education that imbibes the seed of a good citizen and far more a good human being at the very early stage of life.
Further going to insight of discussion – formal education and informal education, we would quickly realize that these two kind of educations are actually not against each other. Neither one is overweight to other nor one’s relevance is diluted on the presence of other. Both are necessary. it is the time and circumstances that govern the selection of one kind of education over other for fulfillment of human needs. Even, informal education can be better accommodated in parallel with formal education and our basic moral needs can be fulfilled with other responsibilities of social and economical obligations.
I remember one of the few best quotations on education given by Martin Luther King, Jr, “The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character – that is the goal of true education”. Thus, education, whether formal or informal has always served the purpose of existence of humanity and keeping of moral and ethical values in mankind. First few years of life is governed by formal education and later informal education plays its role for better establishment in social and economical order. One shapes our thoughts and behavior and culminate the values and ethos and other makes us eligible to govern the world’s economical and political order in many spheres. One set us free from internal conflict and gives us wings of rising far above the sky to make our home and society livable.
Formal education is not a restrain or barrier but it is an assets for our future generation. It is a treasury that has been built from the very beginning. It serves the purpose of milestone to guide the young generation to culminate the solidarity and pave the way of humanity in whole world. It serves the real purpose of our existence and makes us courageous enough to save our future against violence and moral degradation. let us built our world on the base of formal education and erect the pillar and storeys on informal education.
Wow !! You Are True To Your Words.I Hope You Will Be Consistent On Mains Marathon Too…..!!!
Hehehehe…..Thanks. but I couldn’t get the meaning of your sentence- true to your words.
Maine Bola Ki Aapne Jo Kaha Woh Kar Diya ie Aapne Kaha Tha Ki Aap Monday Se Mains Marathon Par Aao Ge Lekin Aaj Hi Aa Gye…..!!!
Hehehehe….okies.
Well written brother,Tough i have not written but would to give a suggestion
Try to compare formal and informal education system of different countries like
in usa, china etc they focus on what child wants to do like he want to make career in sports, research etc and they give education in that particular field that is the reason these country have been performing better in Olympics and many other areas
in india’s education system it has been implemented only by getting a degree life can be lived so child without even knowing what they want to do keep on studying courses in which he is not interested and it does not contribute in his/her personalty
both education system has own pros cons but we should adopt best practices from the other countries, we should redifine out education policies etc
**let me know if these things could be mentioned or not in essay.
Thanks 🙂
Yeah you r correct at your point. Thanks.:)
Really good efforts
Thanks.
Very nice attempt. I love the way with which you have clarified the difference between formal and informal education. Introduction was superb. The body of the essay was also great but this could have been even better with more examples to prove your point. The conclusion was short but the last line was impacting. That could actually put an impression in the mind of an examiner.
All the all it was a wonderful essay, though a bit more examples can make it one of the best essays. Kindly review mine. 🙂
Would you clarify the difference between formal education and informal education
More examples can be included to support your statements.
You could have mentioned about Indian formal education system and concerns and how these days informal education in the form of home schooling is coming to the forefront..
Otherwise a very well written essay..
Very thanks…:)
From now, will write the answer in complete form …..:P
I think u have interchanged the words by mistake
good job
Enjoyed reading your essay,,,, you have neither supported the statement fully nor rejected it. Gud blend of importance of formal and informal education.
Very thanks Bro…:)
Undoubtedly, education has shaped our desire and dreams according to our needs and made the mankind pledged to GOD for the purpose of they were made…what does this mean bro….
Please review
Essay focussed mainly on showing humans are superior.Multiple dimensions need to be added.
These days humans are becoming subservient to machines due to the technological advances liked humanoids etc..This angle was missing..
thanks a lot for the review
@ForumIAS
Can u please review mine also….. Consistently m scoring very low marks in essay…
Please Review 🙂
Topic 2
x
Good use of examples..The benzene example could have been shorter.
You need to show how humans are becoming a servants of machines and with artificial intelligence robots are behaving like humans.
Also try to divide the essay into paragraphs.This continuous flow was missing here..
Topic 1
please review
Good essay..Diverse perspectives are written..
Thanks forumias.
Hi forum I had uploaded essay but it does not show here,,, plz help
The Human Mind Will Always Be Superior To Machines Because Machines Are Only The Tools Of Human Minds—-
The technology available to us has soared in recent years opening us up a world of opportunity and improving our lives tenfold. We now have access to machines and devices that can assist us in our everyday activities, making it possible to do things like communicate internationally in an instant. This has led to many people believing that we are over reliant on this technology.
Man has come up with Innumerable Inventions , each more innovative than the previous one.Human lives has been changed drastically after the inventions of Machines or can say Machines has indeed created a significant impact on the human life today , notably in technological aspects yet as within the economic and social aspects . Over the years, machines have influenced practically every field of activity. Machines have revolutionized the sectors of Health, Education, Communication, Defense, Robotic , Research etc. and have given us a more convenient environment to live in.Working with the assistance of machines has created our existence way less complicated and easier than what previous generations had seen
ARITIFICIAL INTELLIGENCEis growing up fast, as are robots whose facial expressions can elicit empathy and make your mirror neurons quiver.
DEPENDENY over MACHINE Is Growing–We have started depending on machines in our day to day life . Earlier the usage of Machines were restricted for Production , Transportation etc . But today their functions and involvement has become so intense that we have started using them in every sphere of our life.In today’s era , Machines has created such a great impact on man such that the current generations becomes erratic if they are subjected to an environment where machines are absent . Machines has made many kind of human labor irrelevant . Computers, as well as many other machines,have replaced the requirements for humans to perform repetitive tasks. Computers can perform calculations and record information far better than humans and for lower value . That’s why machines have replaced many human jobs. Location has become far less important in human lives as the machines of technology have connected them to vast information and social networks . Many everyday tasks can be automated by technology in modern lives, allowing people to accomplish tasks from anywhere. For instance researchers can navigate unlimited information sources without going to a library, Consumers can shop online without going to a physical store. Machines facilitate in an exceedingly giant scale in sector wherever production and force is needed such as Construction and the list is endless and still increasing.
Can Not Negelect A Fact–However, Machine has evidenced to be much more Effective , Efficient and Reliable
than humans wherever the priority is to maintain quality and consistency but we cannot ignore the fact that Human still has its own distinct benefits over machines . When it comes to Skill , Intellect ,creation , Versatility, and expertise humans are still a lot more Active, Superior and Capable then machines whereas Machines lacks in reasoning . Art and Creativeness
can solely be seen in humans . When compared with machines the human manpower has its own distinct blessing .In the end it absolutely was The Man who invented Machines and vice versa can never be True , So as a Result of it , MACHINES CAN NEVER TAKE OVER MAN i.e Human brains because it’s the man who gave the vision to its invention and created it.
Effect On Economy–Technology and its application will become more and more relevant as time goes on.Mechanisation will improve the economy but it will have a back lash regarding job losses will ultimately cause production levels to rise to levels never experienced, but at a cost of jobs. These job losses will again have a knock on affect in other industries and markets. Over all the economic outlook will improve as these people are taken up into other more labor related environments.Mechanisation is a trend worldwide. There are obvious health and safety advantages in mechanisation. By removing the human element at the coal face and replacing it with a machine, unfortunately comes at a price. In third world countries however the effect is felt much more purely because the literacy level is much higher in first world countries, affording workers to find jobs in other sectors of the economy that are not necessarily labours.
One should never forget the fact that MACHINES are simply a MAN-MADE Tool which is invented to make human lives better, easier, quicker and most significantly to assist MAN and not to extrude MAN .Henceforth the proper and effective usage of machines by humans can lead to many more Innovations.
No matter how intelligent machines become, they are created by humans and they can never become as intelligent as their creators.One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men but no machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
Very nice use of examples Jyoti.You have analysed how machines are superior to humans and also how humans are ultimately superior.
You could have also mentioned about artificial intelligence and how it is creating a confusion ..
Thank You Sir…..!!!
Have few things to say : Do you think explaining machine’s effect on economy n job etc. has relevance with the topic? Unless of course u connect it as humans use of machines to bettet their life. It seemed to me little less relevant. May think n comment on this. Overall very good essay, i should say.
Yupp.These Things Was In Mind When I Was Writing An Essay. I Thought This Would Work For Me and I Have To Stretch It Till Required Word Limit (1000-12000 Words).
Thanx For The Review and I Am Open To Criticism…..!!!
Will like you to return the favor a bit. Kindly review my essay on the same topic
Kindly review. My first essay.
The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only the tools of human minds.
The famous physicist Dr. Stephen Hawking once said “The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race.” The fear of AI (artificial intelligence) becoming stronger than the humans and taking over the world has been a common theme in lots of popular culture movies and famous novels. Scientists and futurists have romanced with this idea for a long time and at times it feels like just another fictional idea. However this fear is not irrational and it begs the question i.e. whether human mind is superior to machines or are we destined to be doomed forever.
The idea of an artificial mind has always intrigued the scientists and philosophers alike. Since the beginning of computer revolution everyone was expecting a smart machine, a machine which could think on its own and do the task smartly. However the initial computers could be very well termed as ‘dumb’ with no mind of their own. They relied on a human mind to give them commands. They were more like an electrical cycle, the
difference being that the pedalling here is done with a mind and not legs. Much hasn’t changed in the computer world since then. Today’s computers are also ‘dumb’, but now they have covered up their dumbness with the fancy user interface like windows or internet. But in all such interactions there is always a human mind who is delivering commands and giving orders. This is not shocking too, as how can a piece of metal have a brain of its own. At the end of the day it will need a real brain, a human brain, a smart brain to be dictated by.
However the recent advancement have proved that this arrogance of ours could be a big mistake. These ‘pieces of metals’ are now learning to copy us, just like a toddler, and are showing actual progress. ‘Learning’, which was so far a subject of philosophy, has now become a branch of modern computer science. Today the computers are becoming intelligent and one need not go a long way to see the proof. Daily websites like Google, Facebook, and Amazon are an example of an intelligent design working underneath. Just click on any fancy gadget on amazon, or a pretty dress which you were willing to buy but later abandoned and then open any social networking site. The chances are that 99% of times the Facebook, YouTube or Google will
suggest a similar product in your feed so as to allure you to buy it. The ‘piece of metal’ has suddenly become sentient and is watching you and your preferences 24*7. The idea of being watched all the time is not only horrifying but also a breach of our privacy. But here also one can track down a smart ‘human’ mind which is commanding the AI to stalk all the users. This brings us to another question, ‘can AI think independent of humans?’
The IBM Deep Blue gave the answer to this question when it defeated the World Chess Champion Garry Kasparov. Deep Blue defeated the world champion on its own with no human help. Garry, after the defeat, said that it is almost impossible to beat this machine. This shocked the world as now a machine, though far from being sentient, has mastered a game and has shown that it is possible for machines to learn and even outsmart humans. Today there are several projects going on throughout the world which are trying to replicate the learning process of humans. In our own IITs the students have built smart bots, a computer program, which asks a question and analyses the response given by the user. Then based on the answers of many users it learns what to speak in a particular context. Later it reverses the roles and asks users to ask the questions and then gives answers smartly. This, in a nutshell, is how we learn as a baby. Japan has also build a robot which is said to be as intelligent as a 3 year old child. This robot learns from the users by observing them, contains a speech recognition software to understand the words and language and then tries to replicate the human behaviour. This is as close as we get to humans in terms of intelligence, which at present doesn’t looks much like a threat, but can be quite dangerous due to fast pace development in computer science.
With AI getting smarter an immediate problem would be of unemployment. It is estimated that around 90% of
the jobs are AI friendly because they are either manufacturing related or are simple clerical jobs. The AI does not need to be perfect in order to replace the humans, it just needs to be better and more accurate than us. The benefits of employing AI includes a 24*7 available worker, no trade unions or demand for hikes, no demand for health or PF benefits, an accurate and efficient worker and one time investment. The businesses
will definitely try to shift towards AI and this will become a big problem for administration and govt. across the world. This might even lead to violent ways or regime change in many countries. However there is one solution to such a problem i.e. redefining the learning process for humans.
The one thing which an AI machine cannot do so far is mimicking the creative nature of humans. A machine can very well copy the human behaviour however it is still below the human mind in terms of creativity. A machine is incapable of thinking something ‘new’ or an original idea. The creative pursuits of Arts, Sciences, Philosophy, Music, Drama and any new field in the world are still under the monopoly of human mind and this can very well become a boon for humanity as a whole. At present, a vast majority of human population is engaged in non-academic works so as to fill the bellies of millions of people and to satisfy their needs for goods and services. However, with AI overtaking this sector, the only job left for humans is to follow its creative pursuit. With ample of time at hand we can work together in doing great researches in the field of science. One can also use this time to write literary masterpieces, thus re-examining our understanding
of human soul and nature. This time can also be used to create beautiful pieces of art, music, poetry. Imagine that each and every human being is using his/her full intellectual potential, leaving the trivial and mentally easy jobs at the hands of artificial minds. This could open up a whole new world of possibilities and can become the next step in human evolution.
The machines, though less intelligent that us, can thus become our saviour, our facilitator in moving ahead. It is up to us to either use this opportunity to develop further or make a disaster out of it. John Adams, the famous US President once said, “I must study politics and war so that my sons may have liberty to study
mathematics and philosophy.” It was his insight that the USA should, as a whole, move from a war tormented country towards a knowledge oriented country, a country looking up to the stars. Similarly, we must also never forget the goals of humanity as a whole and should always strive to excel and to progress. When our forefathers started looking up at the sky we knew for sure that we will not be limited by anything. Thus it is human destiny to explore and shine and we must use every opportunity to do the same.
Very nicely written with perfect blend of concept, real examples and futuristic opinion.
Keep it up bro…..:)
Thanks bro. I am new on this platform, so I want to know that how can we ask more and more people to review. The more the better as we need to improve a lot. 🙂
Keep reviewing and thanks for the review.
Kindly review friends …
As far i know, your starting story is factually incorrect coz Arjuna never asked Drona for Eklavya’s thumb.. It was Drona who did it by himself coz he believed in Varna system + He promised to make Arjuna the best archer + he wanted him to take revenge from some King who denied half kingdom to Drona.. So it was Drona’s decision
I not written that Arjuna asked eklavyas thumb
I written as a remove competitor which drona promised to make him as best shooter .
This is the story of mythology
Who knows actually what happened .
I just written as context of topic
fd
Please review friends…. TIA
One of the best essay i read…
Good:
Nice and enthralling introduction( i read two pages without blinking)
Facts are well positioned and analysed
examples are well versed
good conclusion.
Cons:
I see none!
Please keep it up.
(Please review mine its below by name of benzen stark)
Plz review 🙂
Excellent essay.The dimensions are brilliant..When you were mentioning the problems with formal education just be cautious about the flow..
Rest is brilliant.
Thank you sir.. How much marke approx can be given on this? (So that i can get to know how much to improve)
We are giving you around 130..
? thanx
See that the paragraphs are not too long..
Sure sir.. Will take care of it in next essay 🙂
The way you introduce any topic is excellent,,,, I also read ur previous essay ,,, there appears flow in your essay…. Kindly review mine
Thanks navin.. If u dont mind i’ll read ur essay in some time (a little busy with some matter at home)..
Please review:
Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
A bird can fly freely and realize her potential only when she is provided with free sky. If she is caged she would never know what exists beyond the cage and what she can really do. Of course the bird needs some training to survive, to fight the odds and to make her way. But caging her even with good intention of protecting her is not justified. Same applies to a child who passes through the phase of formal education.
To live in a society one needs to know basic set of rules and norms. Some or it could be said most of them are taught by family but formal education helps a child to practice them properly. It provides the child an opportunity to face hardships of life and challenges in a protective manner. Formal education acts as a training period which coincides with the growing period of child. This is the reason why there should always leave scope for child to think freely. With targets and challenges if formal education takes care of child’s free psychological growth then child would be able to realize her/his potential. Otherwise, it would prove itself as a generator of human-machines. Machines who do not posses originality and are slaves of someone’s orders.
Nowadays it is seen that formal education is following a fixed pattern. It is becoming too rigid to adopt changes. Either competitive world is being reflected in it or it is making the world competitive by producing children with particular set of mind. In both ways result will be disastrous. Recently a movie is released, in which it is shown that just to get admission children are being trained and they are not given enough time to play and eat. It is portrayal of what is happening around us. By not providing multiple options or by not letting children to explore formal education would definitely restrain them. It would act more as a barrier.
It is true that some restrains or restrictions are necessary. Child’s id is more active than an adult and if child is allowed to act on the basis of id s/he will not be able to survive in this world. With some control formal education can make children learn group behaviour, sharing, empathy, compassion, positive attitude, respecting others and many more. These are essential for a peaceful world. But again if the authority of control is used somewhere else then it would become a problem. This is the reason why today problems like depression, anxiety, panic attack are seen more often in children and adults as well. They are lacking freedom to choose. They are and were being controlled so much that they are unable to handle new situations because of having a caged mind.
People give example of Albert Einstein who did not got stuck in formal education and worked on his free will. He was able to think about something which is discovered now, gravitational waves, after so many years of his work. It is not possible for a person who lives in restrains. Presently there are many examples of people who left college and acted as free spirits to do what they wanted to. They have made their names by following their mind. Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg are known to everyone.
Recently a girl from Karnataka was offered admission in MIT, USA in post-graduation course at the age of 17 years. She attended formal school only till seventh grade and after that her mother took her out. She did remaining studies in home according to her interest and was guided by her mother.
These examples definitely suggest the importance of letting mind free to explore and grow. But they also do not suggest that one should completely deny formal education. In all the above examples everyone got formal education to the extent of realizing their interest. Later on when they realized that it is becoming a restrain then they left. They had strong will or support to go out of normal but it is not possible for everyone. Many people realize when formal education becomes restrain for them but they cannot leave it and at the end they have to handle pressure. This pressure either moulds them or force them to take extreme steps. Students attempting suicide is one such extreme step.
In this unpredictable world and unpredictable life where new challenges are coming regularly there is need of minds which are not limited to fixed criterion. Formal education system is no doubt important for people for so many reasons but it should not go above them. With time and changing scenario its pattern needs to be changed. It is just few steps of the ladder of life. They cannot be skipped but they are not the whole ladder as well.
Formal Education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free
A big soap manufacturing company once faced problem in their soap production process. The production process involved automatic soap insertion in soap packets by a robotic arm. Due to a bug in the algorithm, certain packets were not getting filled and due to the automation process could not be identified and were being sent to the consumers causing embarrassment to the company. The company called its computer engineers to solve the algorithm but they said it will take a month’s time and the production has to be stopped till that time. Not knowing what the fuss was all about, an uneducated worker kept a table fan in front of the conveyor belt where the robotic arm was, which caused the empty packets to fall down due to air force and they were hence separated.
This shows that how even when we are highly educated, we tend to overlook the simple solutions for the problems because our mind has become constrained due to formal education. Hence formal education may restrain our minds and spirits rather than setting them free
The Evolution of Education:
No formal education could have had evolved without the help of informal education. History provides an ample example of how informal education played an important role in the development of society. Man started in cave where he drew pictures of animals he used to see when hunting which perfected the way of hunting with subsequent generation. The vedas which were transmitted orally are still relevant in today’s world and answers many queries of human mind. With the rise of formal education, society became more fragmented with the right to study the scriptures only given to the Brahmins. Thus in a way formal education narrowed the vision.
Need for formal education:
Why did formal education evolve and is so much in vogue today is a valid question. Formal education has enabled man to fulfil a lot of his necessities and demand.
Grammar evolved with formal education that has enabled human to communicate and express his feelings in a better way. Without the rules of grammar and language, much of the world would remain without the exchange of thoughts and thus the present level of development would not have been possible
SImilarly the evolution has science and mathematics has helped the humans to fulfil his inner curiosity and has also helped in eradication of myth and superstition which had had plagued the humankind form centuries. Formal education has also helped in creating a world which has eased the living of the human like transporation services which helps in quick movement or the use of mobiles needed for quick transfer of information. Hence Formal education has served a lot of need of humans yet it has also been a hinderance in the life and development of humans
The problems of Formal education:
Despite so many positive developments aided by formal education, it has also created a lot of problems in the life of humans
Increasing formal education has conditioned our brain to think in confined areas and ideas. The pinnacle of formal education as seen in being a nuclear and arms moghul has prompted countries to fund research in those areas. The greater threat of climate change or gender inequality are seen as secondary issues which hampers the human development to a large extent
Formal education also makes us more materialistic. We tend to think of each and every service in monetary terms. Large paying jobs in banking and technology are becoming more popular and many parents are even pushing their children to pursue such careers in which they remain less motivated. Recent examples in our country where a large number of youth join courses of engineering subjects but a recent report points out that they are not capable to be employed.
Uses of Informal Education:
Even in today’s advanced and scientific world, Informal education has its own importance. The character building qualities and its first step begins at home of the child without any formal education. The values inculcated by the child remains with him throughout his life. If correct teaching is not given to the child at this step, he will remain morally uneducated throughout his life.
The social skills are learnt by men through informal education. Sometimes we see highly educated sons and daughters pushing out the old parents from their home. This shows a lack of moral education which is mainly learnt through informal means.
Informal Education also provides some relief to the curiosity of the questions on which formal education has no answers to. E.g Religion and God is one of the ways in which humans try to find the answers to some unanswered questions.
There also is increasing awareness of informal education and its use in contemporary societies. The tribal way of life in which they live in harmony to the environment like creation of sacred groves are seen as answers to the challenges of climate change.
Necessity not Education is the mother of invention:
The most important driver of human thinking and innovation is the necessity and not education. No doubt formal education facilitates the process of innovations and may help in finding solutions to the problem but too much reliance on formal education and ignoring the informal education is also dangerous. New avenues of thought and ideas can be looked in informal education e.g. the problem of transport of water to far flung areas using drip irrigation was solved by the tribals of North East India through the use of long bamboo as it is hollow. Such sustainable and innovative methods of informal education could aid and help the formal education in creating new avenues and ways to solve the problems that mankind is facing today. As we see in the case of the soap manufacturing company:
“No one told the fool he could not do it so he did it anyway”
Please Review
The structure of the essay could be better.More diverse perspectives can be written.
Introduction could be better.
Sir my answers are getting marked as spam. Please have a look
2. The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only the tools of human minds.
really liked your righting style .. please keep going.
Good:
———–
Nice way of concluding the topic
Improvement needed:
——————————–
More example and Facts
Introduction ( i personally do not feel attached to the intro ! may be my view)
That’s it .. Please keep going and review mine if possible ( by name of benzen stark)
Thanks
Aakash
Hi
I read your essay I quite like the way you have started the essay.may be you could add more dimensions.
Thanks
Kindly review :
Thanks a lot .
I know I have a lot to learn . Please give feedback where should I improve .
I will review your essay in detail but please do one thing for me and others first….. Download cam scanner app….. Take pics using that and then upload ur essay again….. It’s almost impossible to read ur essay on mobile…… Plus one more tip……… Not mandatory though….. Use A4 size blank sheet for answer writing practice……..
I hope this will do! Thanks a lot.
https://uploads.disquscdn.
com/images/dac974b8ad5de5e2384f6d12ff6853f8b31a78379389bd25a5f932f610efa202.jpg
Kindly review…
Please review
Somebody please review.
I didn’t find a good conclusion. You have justified ur point by taking different examples,,,, but try to arrange them all in coherent way. By the way gud essay.
Thanks so much Navin. I will work on your suggestions.
Please review:
I posted it yesterday but i gone into spam.
Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
A bird can fly freely and realize her potential only when she is provided with free sky. If she is caged she would never know what exists beyond the cage and what she can really do. Of course the bird needs some training to survive, to fight the odds and to make her way. But caging her even with good intention of protecting her is not justified. Same applies to a child who passes through the phase of formal education.
To live in a society one needs to know basic set of rules and norms. Some or it could be said most of them are taught by family but formal education helps a child to practice them properly. It provides the child an opportunity to face hardships of life and challenges in a protective manner. Formal education acts as a training period which coincides with the growing period of child. This is the reason why there should always leave scope for child to think freely. With targets and challenges if formal education takes care of child’s free psychological growth then child would be able to realize her/his potential. Otherwise, it would prove itself as a generator of human-machines. Machines who do not posses originality and are slaves of someone’s orders.
Nowadays it is seen that formal education is following a fixed pattern. It is becoming too rigid to adopt changes. Either competitive world is being reflected in it or it is making the world competitive by producing children with particular set of mind. In both ways result will be disastrous. Recently a movie is released, in which it is shown that just to get admission children are being trained and they are not given enough time to play and eat. It is portrayal of what is happening around us. By not providing multiple options or by not letting children to explore formal education would definitely restrain them. It would act more as a barrier.
It is true that some restrains or restrictions are necessary. Child’s id is more active than an adult and if child is allowed to act on the basis of id s/he will not be able to survive in this world. With some control formal education can make children learn group behaviour, sharing, empathy, compassion, positive attitude, respecting others and many more. These are essential for a peaceful world. But again if the authority of control is used somewhere else then it would become a problem. This is the reason why today problems like depression, anxiety, panic attack are seen more often in children and adults as well. They are lacking freedom to choose. They are and were being controlled so much that they are unable to handle new situations because of having a caged mind.
People give example of Albert Einstein who did not got stuck in formal education and worked on his free will. He was able to think about something which is discovered now, gravitational waves, after so many years of his work. It is not possible for a person who lives in restrains. Presently there are many examples of people who left college and acted as free spirits to do what they wanted to. They have made their names by following their mind. Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg are known to everyone.
Recently a girl from Karnataka was offered admission in MIT, USA in post-graduation course at the age of 17 years. She attended formal school only till seventh grade and after that her mother took her out. She did remaining studies in home according to her interest and was guided by her mother.
These examples definitely suggest the importance of letting mind free to explore and grow. But they also do not suggest that one should completely deny formal education. In all the above examples everyone got formal education to the extent of realizing their interest. Later on when they realized that it is becoming a restrain then they left. They had strong will or support to go out of normal but it is not possible for everyone. Many people realize when formal education becomes restrain for them but they cannot leave it and at the end they have to handle pressure. This pressure either moulds them or force them to take extreme steps. Students attempting suicide is one such extreme step.
In this unpredictable world and unpredictable life where new challenges are coming regularly there is need of minds which are not limited to fixed criterion. Formal education system is no doubt important for people for so many reasons but it should not go above them. With time and changing scenario its pattern needs to be changed. It is just few steps of the ladder of life. They cannot be skipped but they are not the whole ladder as well.
Please Review my essay. It’s my first ever attempt in writing. I understood I had deflated from the theme of the topic after i read it myself. Still I want your valuable feedback
Sorry for the misplacement , It’s the correct sequence
Hi neha I read your essay,,, you made some gud point in your content in the middle… I don’t find ur conclusion very relevant… Ur intro was also quite convincing…But I would create honestly ur essay to be average…. Plz review my essay honestly
Can’t get what do u mean by last para of 1st page.. the way it is written, i can infer that mostly engineers are making weaponf of mass destruction and making machines is drawback 😐
I think u could have written like this: formal education doesn’t ensure great persinality.. even many terrorists are p.hd holders and thus misusing their knowledge acquired. This could be due to specific focus on core field without much emphasis on values inculcation.
Nice point about medical field
Then a link is missing from page 2 to page 3 starting.. read it once
In industrial revolution para.. create a link..
E.g. you can write here something like “But why are we witnessing this situation today? Thinking about the origin of formalization, i can infer that it is probably a fallout of industrial revolution..” and go on with ur para
Idk how apt is this 1857 rifle example here.. here i feel u have diverted from main topic somehow.. im not so sure.. create a link after few paras so that examiner feels ohh.. he is still writing on same topic 😛
Like after wine eg.. u can write.. since cultures are different and in the era of globalized world, it creates cultural shock for many and thus, restraining their minds and spirits
Dont mind.. i think im teaching linking ?
Overall.. content is nice.. but there are a lot of breaks in different paras.. i gave u few examples of linking.. try them from next time..
Also i dont know if u made a rough outline before writing or not but reading ur essay makes me feel u didnt.. coz the weapons of maa destruction para and then Einstein qupte could be put at one place and made more effective.. then going back to similar point again
And if possible, counter the statement in a page or two.. i.e. no formal education is not a restraint.. here, u can probably put that it has been the means to liberate people belonging to the bottom of pyramid to break the shackles of caste and class.. abdul kalam example can be put.. and solutions in the end as u did.. if possible try to put an out of the box solution or a quote to end with
That was quiet a long review.. compensated for last time too 😛
And also, plz rotate ur pics before uploading and use an app like cam scanner or tiny scanner
Thank you raashi for providing such a great review,,, I too feel the same … Despite having content most of the the time I am not able to logically connect successive para. Thank for for it valuable suggestions..
Aadhi Cheezein Toh Samajh Hi Nahi Aayi Ki Aapne Likha Kya Hai.
Clarity Was Missing Between Machine and Human Mind.Examples Were Missing To Support The Statements.
Overall,Good Effort.
Keep Writing and Keep Reviewing…..!!!
Hi each time I upload the essay it does not show here ,,, plz help
1.Formal Education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Ans: Michael Foucault says, “Knowledge is power”, but the source of this infallible power is education. There are ever lasting debates about methods of imparting education to the children in the schools but the problem is with the word, education is limiting to the ways and means of schooling alone. However it is always contested about the formal education system in our country. We can’t deny that the role of school in empowering the souls and it can be better explained in the words of Daulat Singh Kothari, Chairman of first Education Commission that “the future of a nation is shaped in the four walls, the classroom”. It amounts to say the education lays the foundation for the future citizens of a nation. Hence it is high time to revisit the formal education system and its impact as well.
Unlike others Indian society treated education as a bond of love and learning between the teacher and student where ancient GURUKULAS played a vital role in preserving the existing knowledge forms and promoting the quest for new ideas and thoughts. But over a period of time the socio-political interventions, such as colonial rule by British, transformed the Indian education system into an act of learning for livelihood or learn to live against the altruist ancient values that aimed the loka kalyana (universal welfare). Here the so called formal education introduced by the western colonial forces has inculcated those values that are individual centric rather than promoting the collective good of the society. In other words, formal education has opened a window for commercialization of education where the interest of the self is pitted against the non-self. Indeed, this system has faced resistance there in the western world much before in the form of Montessori who tried to give liberty to the minds of young children instead of treating them as learning machines. For such reasons, Mahatma gandhi strongly opposed the existing formal education system and appealed to have a value laden education system. “By education I mean all round development, drawing out of the best in the child-man body, mind and spirit”, says, Mahatma Gandhi.
As such today’s education system is not able to enable the individuals to go beyond the individual interests where employment is the prime target. It has further led to the popping up of corporate schools with the motto of preparing future engineers and doctors etc without taking the interests and choices of the children. It is said to kill the creativity of the children where schools are seen as industries that manufacture the future employees in consonance with the needs of the market and demands of the parents. Though the formal education can help the people for mobility and secure a livelihood it could not free them from their minds and spirits to join the confluence of virtues such as benevolence, sense of belongingness, tolerance, honesty and equality and justice etc. This is evident in the society in forms of violence and conflicts between different communities, individuals and nations that mirror the education system which have adopted.
It is no exaggeration to say the formal education nurtures a sense of mastering everything because the methods of testing the technical skills and levels of memory are confined only to written exams and interviews omitting the application of such acquired knowledge. Hence there is a need to revisit the policies and practices of formal education system in our country. It should also be noted that the quality of education can not be improved until and unless the freedom of mind is ensured.
Instead of revoking, It is always desirable to make a school into a home-like place to learn with natural methods- story telling, describing a painting and going to the field trips to farms to understand agriculture etc which are conducive to all round development of the child. Moreover government can channelize its schemes such as Sarva Shiksha Abhiyan, Mid-meals program and Mahila Samakya program etc to transforming formal education into an inclusive schooling. This would definitely lead to create a society envisaged in Gitanjali by Tagore that:
where mind is without fear and the head is held high
where the knowledge is free
where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By the narrow domestic walls
where the words come out from the depth of truth
where tireless striving stretching its arms towards the perfect
where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
into dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
into ever widening thought and action
into heaven of that freedom, my Father, let my country awake.