Essay Test – September 9, 2017

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Instructions: Write an essay on any one of the following in about 1000-1200 words.

Time : 90 minutes

Marks : 125


1. Religion is the opium of the masses.

2. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.


 

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Jyoti Singh
Jyoti Singh
8 years ago

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong—–

This quote aptly indicates “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” Fighting against a brutal, heavily militarized colonial regime, can be understood that violence is not the solution. Moreover, we humans are not inherently violent, and thus sought to bring about a transformation.

Gandhiji emphasizes that not retaliating against violence does not make someone weak or a coward, contrary to common perception. Responding to violence or injustice with more violence or a larger injustice is a vicious cycle, not true bravery. Real bravery lies in FORGIVING THE PERPETRATOR; since by that, we achieve victory over our own instinct of resorting to violence. It signifies us as being in control of our emotions and actions and senses, which is a greater victory than any other.

For instance, once a boy broke windshield of an old person. The elder knew that it was not intentional and even if it was, then also the child can reform only if he is able to make him understand. This sort of thinking comes with wisdom, a person who is suffering from inferiority complex can’t exercise wisdom

HOW IS FORGIVENESS IS THE ATTRIBUTED OF THE STRONG—-
In present times as well, we come across many situations where we may have been wronged either inadvertently or purposefully. In such circumstances, we should not be quick to take revenge; rather we must seek to FORGIVE THE INJUSTICE if it was done inadvertently. If done purposefully, we must also seek to ENGENDER THE TRANSFORMATION in the perpetrator, instead of seeking revenge and responding with even more malice.
For Example–The communal riots that happen around the country, and the menace of terrorism around the world, show how important the quote is in the present times, and what significance it occupies nearly a century after it was spoken.

Hatred does no good: Holding anger and grudges is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who annoyed us but it is in fact a curved blade and the harm we do, we do to ourselves. Hurting yourself for someone else’s mistake is definitely weakness. You are giving the person the power to affect you in the long run. If you are strong enough, you will be able to realize that it is not worth holding onto anger and hurting yourself with it. Life has so much more to offer. What you can’t change is past, your future lies in your hands to be shaped the way your actions choose to.

Makes you a better person: Forgiving makes you not just a stronger person but a better person at heart. You feel lighter as if a burden has been raised off you. Your mind gets to have its much needed peace and this beings positivity in life. Brooding on negative thoughts of vengeance and rivalry brings negative vibes in life which is not something that could make you strong as a person. You have to realize that you do not want to get even with the person who has hurt you, not to fall low to his standards but to rise above him. This definitely takes strength.

The world can learn lessons from AFRICA IN FORGIVENESS The Truth and Reconciliation Commission established post Apartheid, invited perpetrators of violence an opportunity to give testimony and request amnesty with the idea of restorative justice and not retributive justice.

Without forgiveness, moving forward is impossible; the future is limited, and you become stagnant. Through unforgiveness,you turn the controls of your emotional life over to someone else.There is no freedom in that.

However there are some cases where forgiveness cannot be done :-
If the person does a mistake for first time, it may be due to his/her ignorance, so forgiving that person
gives him/her the chance to correct the mistake from within.But if the mistake is deliberately repeated again and again, we by forgiving him/her are acting as per our strength of character,but he/she may perceive it as our weakness. This brings the limits to the “forgiveness”.
For example it is not wise to forgive SERIAL KILLER/TERRORIST

Forgiveness can be obeyed when the issue is not impinging upon security and sovereignty of the country.
Being strong enough to free one’s Self from the prison of unforgiveness is a choice. It is a chance to be reborn, to fill your mind with peace, to heal, and move on within that energy lies unlimited strength.

MAHATMA GANDHI once said,I WISH TO FORGIVE AND DO GOOD TO THE PEOPLE WHO DO BAD FOR ME This says the greatness of forgiving.Yes, forgiveness makes your heart and soul free. You feel better when you forgive but it is also important to know if the person really deserves to be forgiven or not.

Knil
Knil
8 years ago
Reply to  Jyoti Singh

well written and nicely explored the limits of forgiveness

Vision2018
Vision2018
8 years ago
Reply to  Jyoti Singh

Good answer…. Keep rocking…?

shefu
shefu
8 years ago
Reply to  Jyoti Singh

Excellence shown in ur essay
very well connected 🙂

worldlywise
worldlywise
8 years ago
Reply to  Jyoti Singh

Review
No offence but some critical points
-Improper flow
-Felt more like an ethics answer
In a nutshell i felt this essay not upto the standards of your previous essays.Anyway keep writing and moreover this is my personal view.

Jyoti Singh
Jyoti Singh
8 years ago
Reply to  worldlywise

You Are Free To Tear My Answer Apart.Do Whatever You Want To Do.Just Help Me To Improve.
By The Way I Just Love The Way You Review Everyone’s Answer Here (In +Ve or -Ve)

Thanks For The Review…..!!!

ajay
ajay
8 years ago
Reply to  Jyoti Singh

I think you are taking narrow point of view, non forgiveness= voilence which is totally incorrect beginning of the essay.

Knil
Knil
8 years ago

comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image

worldlywise
worldlywise
8 years ago
Reply to  Knil

Review
+VE
-good intro
-examples are good

-VE
-Language wise it can be trimmed and refined
Overall good attempt

Aman123
Aman123
8 years ago

1.RELIGION IS THE OPIUM OF THE MASSES
-KARL MARX
Marx had made this statement in his book ‘Critique of Hegel’s Philosophy of Right’ with his intention of emphasizing over the fact that the workers were the exploited class while the capitalist were the ruling class enjoying the fruits of the labour of the workers.Marx believed that religion had certain practical functions in society that were similar to the function of opium in a sick or injured person: it reduced people’s immediate suffering and provided them with pleasant illusions, but it also reduced their energy and their willingness to confront the oppressive, heartless, and soulless reality that capitalism had forced them into.
No part of the world has not been affected by the influence of religion.In some countries,religion is practised in private sphere(France),while in some countries,religion is practised in public sphere(India,USA etc.).Religion has always been a sensitive issue and this can be gauged by the fact that several wars have been fought in the name of religion.The context of religion will vary from one person to another,but its intrinsic values will remain the same.For an individual,religion can play an important role in providing mental peace,inculcating social virtues and promoting welfare .
Religion acts an agent of socialisation. It has significant role in organizing and directing social life. It helps in preserving social norms and strengthening social control. It socializes him individual and exercises control over both individual and group in various ways. As an informal means, religion regulates the activities of people in its own way. Organisation like temples, mosques, church, Gurudwaras etc. also control the behavior of the individuals at different level.
An individual’s belief in a religion are influenced by several factors such as place of birth,familial religious belief and the society they were born in.It has the potential to either unite people in its name or even divide them in its name.
Religion also plays an important role in any society as it helps instill a sense of brotherhood among people living in similar society that helps in creating unity in diversity and helps in cultural exchange amongst several communities.
Religion also is capable of influencing the economic structure of any society as sociologists like Sombart and Max Weber rightly established the relationship of religion with economic system. Weber observed the influence of Protestant ethics in the development of capitalism. Sombart found this spirit of capitalism in Jewish norms. For the distinct religious principles present in Christianity, capitalism grew in protestant countries but not in the country like India, Pakistan etc.
However,in present times,this is being used by certain sections of the society as a divisive force,which has the tendency to develop hatred against each other’s culture,thereby leading to a rise in several conflicts in the name of religion.This tends to create a hostile climate in the country,thereby leading to either civil wars or even riots.
Such a climate is detrimental not only to the economy of the country as investors would not invest in such an environment but also impact the quality of life of the people residing there.
Religion has also given rise to global extremism that has led to terrorist attacks worldwide in which terrorist are instigated to kill in the name of religion.Such incidents have social and political ramifications that can even lead to cutting down of diplomatic relations between countries.
Religion has made man God fearing that has led to a rise in superstition and hence led to the advent of GODMEN in the society.These godmen tend to play with the insecurities of people,especially the vulnerable and deprived class and project themselves as Demi-Gods.Due to this reason,they hold major political significance as majority of their devotees form a large chunk of vote bank for politicians.This has given rise to a nexus between the politicians and the godmen that disrupts the ethical values of any society and breeds excessive corruption.There are several charitable trusts where illegal acts take place but the govt. is unable to take any action because politicians want to enjoy the political patronage of such godmen.
Politicians also tend to use religion into their hate speeches in order to garner votes from the majority community and win the elections.
Therefore, in order to ensure religion is portrayed in a proper manner,every country should raise awareness about all the religions in the world through curriculum in schools,stringent puishments should be imposed on those who indulge into hate speeches in order to gain votes and people should be free to practise and propagate their religious beliefs and should have the right to choose their religion not on the place of birth or society they live in,but on the basis of their personal choice.Only then will religion not be opium of masses but will be free in true sense.

Raashi
Raashi
8 years ago

Essay on religion is the opium of masses.. plz reviewcomment imagecomment imagecomment imagecomment imagecomment imagecomment image

shivi
shivi
8 years ago
Reply to  Raashi

Very nice essay. Great work.

Raashi
Raashi
8 years ago
Reply to  shivi

Thank u mam 🙂

Knil
Knil
8 years ago
Reply to  Raashi

well written essay with a nice balance

Raashi
Raashi
8 years ago
Reply to  Knil

Thanks 🙂

worldlywise
worldlywise
8 years ago
Reply to  Raashi

NICELY WRITTEN..TOUCHED MULTIPLE ASPECTS.

Virendra Anjana
Virendra Anjana
8 years ago
Reply to  Raashi

once I started reading I could not stop till conclusion.
Good content
In my view Lines seem to be in a diagonal mode /// if you want write like —– (alignment of text)
Actually I don’t have anything else to suggest, it is a perfect essay.

Raashi
Raashi
8 years ago

Haha.. i know but i srsly can’t improve on this.. it goes diagnol and i never come to know.. though i have improved a little on this but it is still not proper.. i hope it improves in one month ?

Alive!
Alive!
8 years ago
Reply to  Raashi

Good essay, plz review mine.

win 2018
win 2018
8 years ago
Reply to  Raashi

overall its a nice essay. the flow is good, you can also mention the context in which Marx made the statement. he said religion as an opium of ‘masses’ because religion makes the masses accept their life of exploitation (as a fate) without questioning the system and the rich exploitative capitalist class. This has resulted into continuation of the exploitation and capitalism and given rise to inequalities. Otherwise the system would have collapsed. Even Napoleon said ‘religion is excellent stuff to keep common people quiet. Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.’

NOT THAT ASPIRANT
NOT THAT ASPIRANT
8 years ago
Reply to  Raashi

you seem to have listed services provided by religion to human kind a lot.
the purpose of essay is to prove ultimately that religion as an institution hampers achievement of egalitarian society and not to enlist the service provided
more focus should have been on how religion as a tool used by bourgeoisie class to perpetuate the existing social and economic order
and why people are unable to brake the bondage of religion

review mine plese

EPK
EPK
8 years ago
Reply to  Raashi

Nice use of examples t d topic.
At some places u have gone too deep into anthropological aspects which I think s due t optional effect I guess which can b avoided…incest taboo.
rest points r good.
plz review mine

R201X
R201X
8 years ago
Reply to  Raashi

Multiple proofs for religion as an opium. Good job.

Sakhi
Sakhi
8 years ago
Reply to  Raashi

Good handwriting. But there are couple of mistakes and improvements you need to focus upon-

# Mistakes-

1. You have treated essay in an answer writing pattern, each time you have made a point you have sufficed with an example, each time ,you don’t have to elaborate with examples, you need to bring more subtle perspective to correlate your points and define more structured form.

2. Wrong Context, for example- Tilak didn’t used ‘Religion’ to make people aware about the atrocious British Rule, instead he used ‘ Religious Festivals’…..
there is difference between RELIGION & RELIGIOUS, Also, he used Ganapti and Shivaji Birth anniversary to espouse unity for cause called Swaraj….( you have mistakenly written as SHIVA festival…which is wrong wrt to Shivaji)

3. No need to fill the essay with all the current affair in the 1200 limits…there was no need to put triple talaq or female genitalia mutilation….They have asked you to write essay on Religion as Opium of the Masses…thus, female genitalia mutilation is not about opium effect on masses, it more of ritualistic aspect of particular religion…Thus you failed to understand the whole concept in totality.

4. Even the most outrageous point was to mention of Incest aspect,Well Yes,its a taboo in all religions, but that does not have trance a effect onto the masses that can usurp the society, so far we have not witnessed such mass rioting effect due to incest, Yes, Khap is effect but not the totality as opium effect.

5. In Triple talaq example you have made wrong sentence framing, you have said, that Supreme court have called TT as unconstitutional, but in next sentence you said this led to subjugation of women , and led to loss of right of women….
Thus you need to make short but right & meaningful sentences.

There are couple of mistakes,but yes you still have one more month to go, I would suggest as peer to review again your essay,Loved your hand writing, but if context and way of presentation is wrong, it might affect you in mains.

Sorry for being harsh ,but it better than false appreciation, and definitely you can pick up the points for further improvement from my review…

Raashi
Raashi
8 years ago
Reply to  Sakhi

Thanks 🙂

Mrityunjay Sharma
Mrityunjay Sharma
8 years ago
Reply to  Raashi

This is extremely well written, I must say! May I ask, how often do you practice writing essays? Also may I request you to kindly review my essay.

Raashi
Raashi
8 years ago

I started writing almost a year back on weekends.. firstly on insights n then here.. 1 essay/week.. im sorry, im really short on time.. i will review ur essay after mains

NINCOMPOOP
NINCOMPOOP
8 years ago

Time:- Early Nineteenth Century, Place:- Somewhere in Western Europe

Capitalism was on its peak. Mode of production divided the people into two classes, The Capitalist class(Bourgeoisie) and Working class(Proletariat). Working class was being lamentably exploited by the Capitalist class. Such dreadful exploitation made their living conditions poor. Despite such inhuman treatment, the people from working class didn’t counteract for a reason.They had belief in their God. They believed that god will cure all their injuries one day.

Karl Marx was disappointed with this unjustified fetishism of the masses. He,in his book, said , “Die Religion … ist das Opium des Volkes”. This, in english , is rendered as “Religion… is the opiate of the masses”.Marx believed that religion had certain practical functions in society that were similar to the function of opium in a sick or injured person: it reduced people’s immediate suffering and gave them pleasant illusions, but it also reduced their energy and their willingness to confront the oppressive, heartless, and soulless reality that capitalism had forced them into.

What Karl Marx said years ago is still relevant today. In fact it has become more contextual and evident. Exploitation and Inequality Karl Marx talked about still persist today.Living conditions of working class have become poorer. Preamble of Indian Constitution declare India as “Socialist Republic” and believes in the notion of Social and Economic Equality. But the reality is far from the theories. REcently published Oxfam report revealed that 1% Indian hold 58% of country’s wealth. This is not the case of India but many other countries. Forget the revolution, we hardly see minor protests against prevailing inequality. The protests we see are in fact pertaining to religion. People are more concerned about their religion than their living condition.Novalis in his book held that, “Their so-called religion works simply as an opiate—stimulating; numbing; quelling pain by means of weakness”.

Opium is used for two purposes, 1) as a Drug and 2) as an Intoxicant. When used in drugs, it is believed to have various medicinal properties which can cure several diseases provided that it is consumed in limited dosage. If taken in high quantity, it works as an intoxicant. And harmful effects of intoxicant does not need a mention. The same goes with Religion.In Nineteenth Century people used it as a drug, as a healer which can cure their injuries, their sorrow, their misery. They had a belief that,through religion,they are connected to ultimate source of power.

What we see today is the worst and most distorted form of devotion and religious belief. The drug they consumed has become Intoxicant now. Excessive consumption of intoxicant has made their thought process polluted which has resulted in Extreme Fanaticism across-the-board. The kind of activities are happening in the society are as despicable as a drunkard does in tipsiness.

Terrorism like global issue is the outcome of extreme fanaticism and associated religious goals and beliefs. Blind obedience of religion therefore results in violence,crisis and extermination in the end. Syria, Iraq,Yemen are some examples. These regions could not develop because of wrongdoings of ISIS like extremist groups.

India is not untouched by this kind of bigotry and consequential violence. Partition of 1947 was not a separation of two territories but separation of two religions. Fanaticism ,which has increased in the course of time, is now at its peak. Communal violence, riots , mob lynching has become common. As said earlier, people are more concerned about their religion than their social and economical issues. They give priority to their common religious concerns rather than genuine issues prevailing in the country like poverty, inequality, unemployment, corruption etc.

Our politics is driven by religion. Our elections are driven by religious beliefs.Manifestos of political parties are based on religion. Our foreign policy is driven by religious logics. Our society is fragmented on religious lines. Our behaviour is dependent on religion. Our relationships are based on religious beliefs. Our personal laws are based on religious beliefs despite knowing that they are discriminatory in nature.

We should not forget the values enshrined in the constitution. We should not forget that India is a secular state, as preamble suggests.We should also not forget that there is a word like “Fraternity” in our Preamble, which believes in Peace and Harmony. Peace and Fanaticism can not coexist.Rationality and Blind obedience can not coexist.

It is said that “Work is Worship”. In fact Bhagwata Gita tells the importance of “Karma” in individual’s life. We,on the contrast,have made religion itself our work. This is the starting of all the evils. We have taken drug in excess that it has become intoxicant inside the body which is now mixed with our blood.

Karl Marx had also said- “Man makes religion, religion does not make man.The abolition of religion as the illusory happiness of the people is the demand for their real happiness. To call on them to give up their illusions about their condition is to call on them to give up a condition that requires illusions”. Working class(Proletariat) also liberated when they came out of illusory happiness, struggled, resisted and overthrew the Bourgeoisie.

Virendra Anjana
Virendra Anjana
8 years ago
Reply to  NINCOMPOOP

? to the point.
The sentence 4th from the last seems monotonous.
Good introduction.

worldlywise
worldlywise
8 years ago

ESSAY
Religion is the opium of the masses
comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image

EPK
EPK
8 years ago
Reply to  worldlywise

hi feel first page is nice.
from then on essay addresses one side of matter only.
also lack of examples seems t give it a dry feel monotonous….
review mine plz

CHENNAI SUPER KING
CHENNAI SUPER KING
8 years ago

comment imagecomment imagecomment imagecomment imagecomment image

Virendra Anjana
Virendra Anjana
8 years ago

your essay flows with
gandhi, lynching
capital punishment
myanmar rohingyas
finally ashok

be close to the topic you may seem diverting somewhere
write in short sentences as it is easy to comprehend
keep writing

CHENNAI SUPER KING
CHENNAI SUPER KING
8 years ago

I am surprised , it took 7 long days for someone comment .
K friend i ll correct the mistake..

NINCOMPOOP
NINCOMPOOP
8 years ago

Time:- Early Nineteenth Century, Place:- Somewhere in Western Europe
Capitalism was on its peak. Mode of production divided the people into two classes, The Capitalist class(Bourgeoisie) and Working class(Proletariat). Working class was being lamentably exploited by the Capitalist class. Such dreadful exploitation made their living conditions poor. Despite such inhuman treatment, the people from working class didn’t counteract for a reason.They had belief in their God. They believed that god will cure all their injuries one day.
Karl Marx was disappointed with this unjustified fetishism of the masses. He,in his book, said , “Die Religion … ist das Opium des Volkes”. This, in english , is rendered as “Religion… is the opiate of the masses”.Marx believed that religion had certain practical functions in society that were similar to the function of opium in a sick or injured person: it reduced people’s immediate suffering and gave them pleasant illusions, but it also reduced their energy and their willingness to confront the oppressive, heartless, and soulless reality that capitalism had forced them into.
What Karl Marx said years ago is still relevant today. In fact it has become more contextual and evident. Exploitation and Inequality Karl Marx talked about still persist today.Living conditions of working class have become poorer. Preamble of Indian Constitution declare India as “Socialist Republic” and believes in the notion of Social and Economic Equality. But the reality is far from the theories. REcently published Oxfam report revealed that 1% Indian hold 58% of country’s wealth. This is not the case of India but many other countries. Forget the revolution, we hardly see minor protests against prevailing inequality. The protests we see are in fact pertaining to religion. People are more concerned about their religion than their living condition.Novalis in his book held that, “Their so-called religion works simply as an opiate—stimulating; numbing; quelling pain by means of weakness”.
Opium is used for two purposes, 1) as a Drug and 2) as an Intoxicant. When used in drugs, it is believed to have various medicinal properties which can cure several diseases provided that it is consumed in limited dosage. If taken in high quantity, it works as an intoxicant. And harmful effects of intoxicant does not need a mention. The same goes with Religion.In Nineteenth Century people used it as a drug, as a healer which can cure their injuries, their sorrow, their misery. They had a belief that,through religion,they are connected to ultimate source of power.
What we see today is the worst and most distorted form of devotion and religious belief. The drug they consumed has become Intoxicant now. Excessive consumption of intoxicant has made their thought process polluted which has resulted in Extreme Fanaticism across-the-board. The kind of activities are happening in the society are as despicable as a drunkard does in tipsiness.
Terrorism like global issue is the outcome of extreme fanaticism and associated religious goals and beliefs. Blind obedience of religion therefore results in violence,crisis and extermination in the end. Syria, Iraq,Yemen are some examples. These regions could not develop because of wrongdoings of ISIS like extremist groups.
India is not untouched by this kind of bigotry and consequential violence. Partition of 1947 was not a separation of two territories but separation of two religions. Fanaticism ,which has increased in the course of time, is now at its peak. Communal violence, riots , mob lynching has become common. As said earlier, people are more concerned about their religion than their social and economical issues. They give priority to their common religious concerns rather than genuine issues prevailing in the country like poverty, inequality, unemployment, corruption etc.
Our politics is driven by religion. Our elections are driven by religious beliefs.Manifestos of political parties are based on religion. Our foreign policy is driven by religious logics. Our society is fragmented on religious lines. Our behaviour is dependent on religion. Our relationships are based on religious beliefs. Our personal laws are based on religious beliefs despite knowing that they are discriminatory in nature.
We should not forget the values enshrined in the constitution. We should not forget that India is a secular state, as preamble suggests.We should also not forget that there is a word like “Fraternity” in our Preamble, which believes in Peace and Harmony. Peace and Fanaticism can not coexist.Rationality and Blind obedience can not coexist.
It is said that “Work is Worship”. In fact Bhagwata Gita tells the importance of “Karma” in individual’s life. We,on the contrast,have made religion itself our work. This is the starting of all the evils. We have taken drug in excess that it has become intoxicant inside the body which is now mixed with our blood.
Karl Marx had also said- “Man makes religion, religion does not make man.The abolition of religion as the illusory happiness of the people is the demand for their real happiness. To call on them to give up their illusions about their condition is to call on them to give up a condition that requires illusions”. Working class(Proletariat) also liberated when they came out of illusory happiness, struggled, resisted and overthrew the Bourgeoisie.

Sherlock Watson
Sherlock Watson
8 years ago

1. Religion is the opium of the masses.
(Awwww! so who’s gonna shoot me XD ) hehe

comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image

EPK
EPK
8 years ago

writing seems complex, would have been better if its simple enough.
also feels like slight drift from topic.
review mine pls

Sherlock Watson
Sherlock Watson
8 years ago
Reply to  EPK

(Thank you!) Complexity as in ?

Virendra Anjana
Virendra Anjana
8 years ago

comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image

Virendra Anjana
Virendra Anjana
8 years ago

comment image comment image

Virendra Anjana
Virendra Anjana
8 years ago

comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image

Raashi
Raashi
8 years ago

Your essay would have been good if the topic was “Religion”
U wrote everything in syllabus’ order.. but nothing related to Religion as Opium.. watch Vision’s Essay Session video on YouTube.. How to Write one

U have covered dimensions but most important thing is to relate to topic.. “Analysis”

Virendra Anjana
Virendra Anjana
8 years ago
Reply to  Raashi

So I need to understand topic before writing. Thanks for the guidance.

worldlywise
worldlywise
8 years ago

As quoted by Raashi you need more pondering,continuity and focus.However writing itself is a good exercise so full marks for writing so many pages..

Virendra Anjana
Virendra Anjana
8 years ago
Reply to  worldlywise

Thanks for your review and suggestions.

NOT THAT ASPIRANT
NOT THAT ASPIRANT
8 years ago

???

Alive!
Alive!
8 years ago

Religion is the opium of the masses. Guys plz review.comment imagecomment imagecomment imagecomment imagecomment imagecomment image

Raashi
Raashi
8 years ago
Reply to  Alive!

Cant read it like this.. plz rotate your pics n also focus on text to make it legible

R201X
R201X
8 years ago
Reply to  Alive!

Religion as a research subject, well-thought idea. This is surely going to help.

Alive!
Alive!
8 years ago
Reply to  R201X

Thank u for the review.

NOT THAT ASPIRANT
NOT THAT ASPIRANT
8 years ago

comment image comment image

win 2018
win 2018
8 years ago

your essay was a little difficult to read (maybe because of the orientation and handwriting), the use of contemporary examples is very good and aptly fitted at right place. u can make it less technical and more broad by adding other dimensions such as those mentioned by raashi (which u reviewed). giving space to positive aspects of religion can make it more balanced

other than content one very important thing is underlining. it can make your essay more appealing. since your writing is not continuous, underlining can help address it.

NOT THAT ASPIRANT
NOT THAT ASPIRANT
8 years ago
Reply to  win 2018

thank you win 2018

R201X
R201X
8 years ago

Conclusion is very good.

worldlywise
worldlywise
8 years ago

Review

+ve
-Good use of facts and examples (quantitywise)

-ve
-Firstly it was painful to read.I had to rotate all the images and also arrange them in sequence.You need to please the readers.
-Too much focus on MARX felt as if i am reading pol sci answer.Topic was Religion.You deviated a lot.
-The essay lacks flow.Some quotes and sentences give a feel of copy paste approach

Finally i would say ESSAY is all about expressing yourself beautifully through words.So write more and think more to develop the skills.

NOT THAT ASPIRANT
NOT THAT ASPIRANT
8 years ago
Reply to  worldlywise

thanks wordlywise for valuable and critical analysis

NOT THAT ASPIRANT
NOT THAT ASPIRANT
8 years ago

comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image

EPK
EPK
8 years ago

comment imagecomment imagecomment imagecomment imagecomment imagecomment image

Sherlock Watson
Sherlock Watson
8 years ago
Reply to  EPK

Thanks for reviewing my essay.
I got bad reviews on my essay on structure and presentation and proximity to the topic at hand. Content wise it was received ok.
From the reviews I got, I can say, people are expecting the direction in which essay flows to be declared after intro para , in examining of the topic.
Adequate subheadings and covering all dimensions.
Your essay has good dimensions and I can drive home what distinctly you said But I fail to recollect how you flew it through.
Nicely written.

R201X
R201X
8 years ago
Reply to  EPK

Good suggestion given for promoting religious harmony. Touching multiple dimensions.

EPK
EPK
8 years ago

Religion s opium of masses.
plz review.

worldlywise
worldlywise
8 years ago

Addressed to All..
Lately i am facing this problem of how to secure a good balance between thoughts,facts,examples and scholar quotes.In my 2015 attempt i had written very simple essays with minimal quotes,facts,jargons etc but still managed to score 131.I had little content and language was also not that great.However the only thing i did was expressing my thoughts in a genuine way.So may be this is the thing they are looking for.Nevertheless i do understand there are multiple ways to reach the same ‘destination’.So please share some of your thoughts and approach to make the ESSAY good in ALL TIMES AND SITUATIONS.

NOT THAT ASPIRANT
NOT THAT ASPIRANT
8 years ago
Reply to  worldlywise

sir please comment on my essay

R201X
R201X
8 years ago

Religion is the opium of the masses

Religion is a social construct which indicates one’s beliefs and faiths. Its importance and influence in one’s life can be easily realised from the fact that almost each and every activity of one’s life is determined to a great deal by one’s religious beliefs, even though other societal factors also have a bearing on the same. For instance, what one eats, the dressing style, one’s ethical orientation and so on. Religion also has a lot to do with our understanding of the world and what values we cherish and promote. As a consequence, it is worthy to believe that a person would be willing to do what would be demanded by one’s religious beliefs. So, religion surely acts as an opium which makes people willing to do whatever is sought from them. It has been observed that religion has been used for mobilising people by promoting separatist tendencies, which has eventually led to more harm than good. Even though religious tendencies have mostly earned a bad name, exceptions exist which stand as an example of how religion should be used for the promotion of good for all.

Firstly, coming to the negative aspects. To understand the role of religion in mobilising people, let us peep back into time. The world we live in has numerous religions all of which have good number of followers. Through the study of world history, one is able to recognise that all the religions propagate human values and enable one to live a happy and satisfying life. However, one cannot miss the point that the lust for power and money through gaining hold of vast stretches of land had been the motto of most of the rulers and colonialists. Moreover, they saw religion as a means to promote separatist tendencies among people (British policy of divide and rule). In order to fulfil their own cause they encouraged the masses to wage wars against the people of other religions. For example, terrorism owes it origin to misinterpreted religious beliefs and resulting hatred to eliminate the people of other religions from this world. The Nazi atrocities on the Jews in the Hitler era denote the zenith of communo-religious hatred.

Comin to the Indian scenario, religion here is something people can live or die for. Remembering “The revolt of 1857”, one can easily say that attack on the religious beliefs of the two major religious communities of India by the British, by using cow and pig flesh in cartridges of rifles, was one of the major causes of the revolt. The influence of religion is also visible in the occasional religious riots that occur in several parts of the nation. The partition of the country on the eve of independence categorically reminds us of the dominance of religion and its influence on the minds of the people. The ideals of ‘Secularism’ and ‘freedom of religion’ as enshrined in the constitution are reflective of the fact that a country like India needs no stress to be laid on religion as far as governance of the nation is concerned. In other words, these ideals have been provided to separate religion from the State, so that religious affiliation cannot be used as an excuse by the government to run the country according to religious beliefs. This apart from fulfilling other objectives, surely prevents mobilisation of the people in the name of religion for garnering votes. The world is replete with examples of religious mobilisation. The long drawn Israel-Palestine conflict is the result of religious hatred. A recent example is the Rohingya exodus from Myanmar. It is nothing but a conflict between the religious majority and minority of Myanmar. The emergence of terrorism and terrorist outfits like Alqeada, ISIS which have threatened the world peace, has a religious grounding.
Now coming to the positive aspects. The essence of religion is that it is based on egalitarian principles, and no religious doctrine in the world promotes hatred. So, religion when used to mobilise people for the welfare of all, proves to be a great asset. It has been used by religious leaders across the world to promote religious harmony and inculcate the values such as generosity, altruism, tolerance, fraternity, honesty, integrity, and so on, which enables one to become a good human being. Such a harmonious value system is aptly summarised in the quote ”Udarcharitanam tu Vasudhaiv Kutumbakam”,which means “for generous people, the whole world is their family”.
What are the reasons for dominance of negative mobilisation over the positive one?
Religion has become the opium for negative mobilisation of the masses owing to ignorance of the people to understand and interpret their religious doctrines rationally and the rise of so called self-styled godmen(many examples) or massiahs or other anti-social elements who have misinterpreted the religious doctrines to serve their vested interests. The reasons for people’s ignorance are two-fold. Firstly, this underlines a worrying fact of the day that people are not able to adopt a rational approach owing to the existence of widespread poverty and associated disabilities. How can we expect someone who is not getting the basic necessities of life viz. food, shelter, clothing to be able and willing to give attention to what is meant by religion and what is correct or not? A hungry person cannot think of anything but food. In such a condition, one would be ready to do whatever one can to extinguish one’s hunger. This denotes the first group of people. Secondly, there are people who don’t have earn a living wage or are stresses by the struggles of life and are negatively oriented when it comes to the society or the Government. So, they are ready to vent their anger whenever time and situation favours them. This is the second group. There are some others who belong to affluent families, but are brainwashed at an early stage of life against the society and in favour of their religion. This group eventually becomes the ‘educated’ terrorists who are more detrimental to the society than any other group discussed above.
What role can the society and government play to tackle this menace?
The society needs to realise their importance in changing the way world is at present. This can be done by the good lot of religious leaders who can promote world peace through their religious discourses. The government on the other hand, needs to tackle the menace of poverty on a war footing, so as to ‘empower’ people to be their master themselves and to prevent them from going into the fold of negative mobilisation. When people are liberated from the fetters of poverty, they will get enriched by a good health and sound education, which would provide them adequate knowledge as to what is good or bad. In addition, the government needs to strongly come down upon the anti-social elements who promote animosity across religious groups. Further, there are religious leaders who have adequate insights into doctrines of various religions. They government needs to bring these enlightened individuals to the national stage who can serve to strengthen the secular fabric of the country by bringing into limelight the various commonalities and good values across the teachings of various religions.
The day when the discourses of these individuals reaches a common man through TVs, radio, newspapers, will be the day when the religious animosity will turn into a deep friendliness. This will be the day when religion will become the medicine of the masses which they drink to forget that multiple religions exist. They will only remember that everybody is equal and religion teaches the principles of goodness. This will be the day when India will become truly secular. This will be the day when religion will be a bonding glue and not a debonding bomb.

IAS2016
IAS2016
8 years ago

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Mrityunjay Sharma
Mrityunjay Sharma
8 years ago

Religion is the opium of the masses

“Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of the heartless world, the soul of the soulless conditions. It is the opium of the world”. The lines written by Karl Marx during the advent of capitalism were as relevant then as they are now.

When Marx first referred to religion as opium he compared it to the short term palliative relief that Opium provides. However in the long run, it is hardly effective in bringing any real effect to the poor health condition. Marx specifically held religion as a short term reliever but it also made the oppressed masses incapable and their energy reduced to fight against the oppression of rising capitalism.

While Marx may have written the lines with a specific context or a specific social context in the 19th century world, the lines still do make as much sense, even though in a completely changed scenario today, and arguably more so.

Before we get into the relevance and effect of religion on the masses in the current world and Indian context, it becomes essential that look at the very advent and rise of these religions and why and where did they come from in the first place.

To quote Karl Marx here – ” Man makes Religion, Religion doesn’t make Man”.

The history of organised Religion can be traced back to Vedic times in the Indian context while proofs of religious existence can be found in other civilisations also such as Greek and Mesopotamian civilisation. The Brahmanism in the Indian context was largely a religion of the Kings and upper sections of society. The hynms and practices were too complicated to be followed by the common man and least so, by the poor sections of the society. This gave rise to newer and more inclusive religions such as Buddhism and Jainism. Both these religions, though had their dissimilarities, were largely modelled around non-materialism, non-violence, truth and with simple practices which attracted large sections of hitherto left-out people.

These religions were quick to influence even the most powerful kings of their times including Ashoka and Gupta rulers. Religion had a huge influence on the life and conduct of administration of these kingdoms which is reflected in Stupas, Iron-pillars and various manuscripts which tried to codify the religious practices. The influence of Buddhism on Ashoka was so much so that he gave up violence and completely changed his way of administering the state.

There was a parallel rise of Christianity in West after the crucification of Jesus Christ which also marked the start of AD. The rise of Muslims in 7th Century AD was the last of the current major religions of today. There were other attempts at religion too such as the Bhakti movement which tried to remove the ill practices of Hinduism or Din-e-illahi launched by Akbar which included the best practices of all religions.

Thus the world as we know it since the decipherable history, or the period for which we have proofs has been strongly dominated by religion in every sphere of life and has touched every section of society, in good or bad ways needs to be debated.

Modern History and Current times: Religion in the 20th century and thereafter has been an important influencer of major events ranging from Holocaust which led to ethnic cleansing of religious communities such as Jews to division of states of the basis of religion (India – Pakistan) to rise of post modern concepts such as Islamic banking which is guided by Islamic religious principles.

Such events and existing beliefs have effected the lives of people in all spheres. We have examples galore of religion has sometimes played along with economic and international logic and sometimes gone completely against the very humanistic principles and created havoc.

Religion has affected the social life of people in a way that many of the defining criteria such as education levels, freedom for women, liberalism can be associated on lines of religion. The Sacchar committee report which highlighted the conditions of Muslims to be worse than the SCs is one such example. The Middle East which largely follows Islam lags behind massively in freedom of women, Press and other liberal ideas of democracy and secularism.

Religion similarly plays an important role in deciding the politics of many of these countries and the parties ruling them. Many right wing parties have huge support within their countries by virtue of their association with a single religion. Some of the recent political crisis such as the Rohingya crisis in Myanmar and Uighur muslims in China are again based upon religious distinctions. Similar is the case for Israel-Palestine conflict which is based on a sharp Jews-Muslim divide. The middle East crisis of ISIS is also deeply rooted in Shia-Sunni ideological difference and power struggle with countries supporting or fighting ISIS solely on religious basis (Iran supporting Shia backed Assad government while Saudi covertly providing arms to ISIS). People all over the world, including highly educated ones have been drawn in the battle basis the religious ideological difference. This speaks a lot about religion being a major influencer of people’s decisions and they being ready to give up luxuries to fight for their religious ideology.

Religion doesn’t only define our so called ideologies and allegiances, rather it determines or influences almost every thing in our lives – the food we eat, the clothes we wear, the places we visit, the days of year we celebrate as festival, the kind of relations we have with our family and spouses, the kind of greetings we use to the title that we attach to our names. Religion thus is so pervasive that it is difficult, if not impossible for even an atheist to avoid it’s influence on his/her daily life. In India specifically, the recent few months have been guided solely by religious debates such as impropriety of Beef eating, laws made against cattle trade, Entry into temple for women and Dalits, Religious tensions in Bengal and UP and the ongoing debate on whether Rohingya Muslims should be allowed to stay in India (which though looks to be a political issue, has taken religious flavours quickly).

In many of these cases the decisions and people views based upon religion defies logic such as the loss in business and the case of rising old cattle population due to ban on cattle trade, devastation in middle east where no-one is going to emerge a victor even of they win, the extreme fervour for Ram Mandir construction at the proposed site which mightn’t have any value other than religious beliefs. However, the uniqueness of religion is that it often defies logic and makes people find a purpose or sense of pride in what they do or believe in. For the fighters for Al-Qaeda, religion provides them a purpose to fight the tyrant west (US specifically). For the Jews, it makes them stick together and fight all forces around it in Israel.

Religion is lately characterised by two important developments: an increasing population of atheists around the world and simultaneously an increasing religious fervour seen through the emergence of right wing parties across the world. The two completely opposite ends of spectrum again is only something which makes as less sense. However we must realise that Religion is here to stay and be as or even more influential and people’s lives and world’s existence as it has ever been. The trick is to remind the world of the constructive and useful side of it. Ironically, none of the religions support war or all the crimes that we see in the world today and if we sit to decipher the religious texts of all major religions, we might just find them too close to each other in preaching peace and harmony. So, the solution lies not in dismissing Religion as a cause of all issues but rather embracing it and embracing all its virtues well. As somebody has rightly said ” Even if God didn’t exist, it would be necessary to create one”

Mrityunjay Sharma
Mrityunjay Sharma
8 years ago

I know I am late but kindly review 🙂

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