This story begins about 3 years ago when I met a bright, young girl, who would not clear Prelims.
Like 4 times.
When we do not clear Prelims, there are 2-3 possible explanations for it.
One, we haven’t studied as much is needed – not completed the syllabus, and we know even before writing the exam that we won’t make it. But we still write the exam because everyone is doing it. And everyone around us says – dekar-dekh-lo-kya-pata-ho-jayega ( write and see, – you may get through if you are lucky )
Two, we have studied a bit, but have missed either multiple revisions OR adequate PYQs OR not done enough mock test practice. As in we are close, but not quiet there. We generally fix this error in the next attempt.
Three, we dont know how to prepare for prelims – we lack the exposure – we dont know how other people are doing it and what they are doing to clear it – and despite studying and giving our best – we don’t know why we have flunked prelims.
Multiple times.
These are the clueless ones.
As in, they look fine, talk fine, study fine, and are in ORN not to waste time, have the discipline also and study 6-8 hours a day, and yet are clueless when it comes to prelims.
They aren’t under-previledged. They are middle class – but have the usual twin middle class pressure of “Dad’s-retirement-is-coming-when-will-you-get-married/employed”. They have the resources, but won;t make it because (a) they don’t know how to use the resources (b) they feel guilty about using parents’ resources.
In their misplaced sympathy for their parents – who need results , not help – they take decisions not aligned with their goals, they save money on education ( but spend on the momos ), waste attempts and squander the parental trust ( social capital in UPSC laguage ) over the years.
I generally meet them then.
In the first two cases, it is easy – you finish your syllabus, just give 5 dedicated months to prelims, and under right guidance, you will not only clear prelims for CSE but also IFoS ( see Prachi’s testimonal – 16th Rank IFoS and 172 Rank CSE and Pranita’s testimonial here)
Type 1 and 2 generally clear the prelims in the next attempt by (a) increasing the time given to prelims and (b) increasing the effort given to prelims.
But when I met Natasha, it was a mystery for me!
( This isn’t Natasha’ story – this is Abhishek’s but we will get there. Plus this is how it started. You can skip this part by clicking here )
She had written 4 attempts, not cleared prelims and she had everything working for her – as in she was hard working, not casual, and had studied for the exam.
When I met Natasha, she was Type 3 – the ones who can ( and do ) study – they are sincere and hard working – they are also willing to make the sacrifices that are needed to clear this exam – and yet she she wasn’t quite making it through the prelims.
I was a little perplexed. At one point I felt that she must be surrounded by a bunch of less serious friends – or worse- may not have a peer group at all. The kind of people you are surrounded with – who you listen to – who your role models are – make a hell lot of difference to where you will end up in life.
That year, Natasha cleared the prelims, and the Mains. It was after during 1:1 interview session, I said to Natasha – if you don’t make it this time, we will set up a residential coaching for you – move there, and we’ll see what we can do with you for this examination.[@]
[ There was another kid I wanted to do this for, and I will write her story someday. She did clear the Prelims, but isn’t in the final list – so will write baout it someday ]
But then a 22 year old and few dozen people did come for FRC.
They hadn’t cleared prelims before. And somehow, they cleared CSE prelims.
Some of them cleared IFoS cut off as well. For the first time.
There were two reasons for setting up the FRC.
One, was that while we were able to have anywhere between 500-700 students in the 1000 students selected students final list from programs such as MGP / SFG / GSAP / GSFC etc, we felt that the number of students in the final list did not excite us anymore. We wanted our % contribution in a candidate’s success.
In short, we should have enabled his / her success.
In other words, if we weren’t there, they wouldn’t make it!
Secondly, we felt that increasing the students were unable to stay undistracted – largely thanks to social media. It could be anything from a generational change to the coming of age of social media to disinformation on the internet that is distracting the students from doing what needs to be done to clear this conventional examination – take classes, take notes, write answers, finish tests, practice PYQs and go for the kill. Do not get me wrong.
The GenZ is very smart.
But then you increasingly have the problem of the missing middle.
You now have super focussed people OR completey distracted people. The average candidate is rapidly disappearing.
Remember – thinking about the studies is not the same as studying. Watching about UPSC preparation is not the same as UPSC preparation. And a lot of people I feel are thinking about studies ( and also worrying about studies ) but not actually studying ). And these days doping companies are exactly making you do the reverse. [ Doping companies are the ones that release continuos video on Youtube, and give you dopamine – the chemical in the brain that makes you feel good, unless two years later – you have watched 100s of youtube videos , but have not covered a single book. You should NOT be getting your dose of dopamine from a TG update / YT video or a short- that should come from studying, excercising, accomplishing tasks. ]
Abhishek was one of the 100 people selected for FRC. It was our first batch, and I have no idea why he trusted us.
An early adopter.
Here is his story.[2]
And since it is also the story of Tapasya – that he undertook for a year. ( and the name of ForumIAS Residential Coaching )
Here it is. In his own words.
My journey and experience of FRC – by Abhishek Sharma, AIR 38, CSE 2024 ( Main Article )
About Me
There’s a photo of me from last year, sitting on the edge of my bed, laptop open, books scattered, and eyes hollow from yet another failed attempt (I’ll not be attaching that here). If I could go back in time and whisper something to that version of me, I would just say this: “Hold on. It’s coming.”
Because today, I stand here with AIR 38 in UPSC CSE 2024.
And no, this isn’t a success story. It’s a story of breaking down, holding on, and coming back to life.
My journey
I began my UPSC journey in December 2020, during the Covid lockdown.
Like many others, I started with standard books, making my own notes along the way.
I appeared for my first Prelims in 2022 but couldn’t clear it.
Still, I didn’t let the failure weigh me down.
Guided by my mentors, I resumed my mains preparation in the 3 months that followed and stayed focused.
I even wrote the mains papers in a time bound manner in my bedroom as soon as they were uploaded on the internet.
In 2023, despite filling the gaps in my notes and working even harder, I faced another setback at the Prelims stage.
I had even moved to Delhi for a while, hoping a change of environment would help—but it didn’t work for me, and I eventually returned home. I repeated my mains preparation again for next 3 months.
Somewhere along the way, I came across Shruti Sharma Ma’am’s talk, where she mentioned about ForumIAS.
Curious, I explored their online content and found it genuinely helpful. I joined their Prelims 2023 test series, which became an important part of my preparation
But I didn’t clear my first two Prelims.
Let that sink in.
The first time, I thought it was bad luck.
The second time, it felt like a verdict on who I really was. I remember staring at the screen, numb.
Not angry.
Not crying. Just……. empty.
I didn’t want to open a book again.
Didn’t want to hear “Next time you’ll do it.” I was done.
And then in a few months came that email. Subject line: Inviting Applications for SFG – Forum Residential Coaching for CSE 2024.
I almost didn’t open it.
But something made me click.
And as I read it, it felt like the words had been written specifically for me.
Ayush Sir’s mail struck a nerve.
It didn’t feel like an institutional callout, it felt like someone out there knew I was breaking, and was offering me a rope.
Still, I hesitated. The fear of another failure was paralyzing.
That’s when a friend, Pranjal, told me something I’ll never forget: “Shayad Bhagwan ne teri kahani likhna shuru kar diya hai.”
Those words changed something in me.
I packed my bag and joined Batch 1 of FRC Gurgaon.
I still remember the date- 2 December 2023 (a day after my 23rd Birthday) when I moved to Gurgaon, course was set to begin on 9th December.
The first week was chaos.
Let’s be honest.
The rooms weren’t fully ready.
The room I was alloted, it contained the luggage of 3 other people for the time being.
The library wasn’t functional.
The food was from brilliant to palatable depending on the mood of the mess guy.
At first we were served right outside the classroom. Slowly things improved and we got a mess of our own.
Here is a picture ( from the good days )
The schedule was intense, almost cruel. I had a headache every day, sleep was a luxury, and I didn’t know a single person.
But something told me……. stay.
I remember that there were days when things became difficult. But made sure that I showed up.
Everyday. Irrespective of my mood.
The library was beautiful ( though not as spacios as the new campus I visited after the result )
Slowly, that chaos became rhythm.
We were sleep deprived for almost two straight months, barely scraping together four hours on some nights. We’d drag ourselves to classes, write answers with trembling fingers, and pretend the mock scores didn’t hurt.
But in that madness, something beautiful happened.
I found people who became home. A friend circle Ankit, Prerna, Reddy ( although I shoud not call 4 people a circle 🙂 )I don’t know what I would’ve done without them.
We didn’t just study together. We survived together. Laughed on the worst days, cried on the quieter nights, fought over silly things, but always, always showed up for each other.
None of them made it to the final list this time, but I promise you this, they will.
For I’ve seen them. I’ve seen their fight, their heart. If anyone’s next in line, it’s them.
And behind the scenes were two pillars, Kanishk Sir and Sakshi Ma’am.
I found them a bit late in my preparation. They weren’t just mentors. They were mirrors.
They told me when I was off track. They celebrated when I grew. Their feedback was honest, sharp, and somehow still kind. I didn’t need hand-holding. I needed truth, and they gave it every single time.
I remember someone at FRC, maybe in Week 2, told me casually: “Tu list mein hoga.” I laughed it off.
Because at that point, I was still learning how to even believe in myself again.
But slowly, I began to feel it. That flicker of belief. That tiny, stubborn thought: Maybe… this time.
And whenever it faltered, I’d call my sister, Anushka. No matter how late. No matter how tired she was.
Every time I doubted myself, she’d say the same line: “Tera nahi hoga to kiska hoga?” She said it so casually, but with a conviction I wish I had. It carried me. Every single time.
Then came Prelims 2024.
The paper ended. I walked out. And for the first time in three years, I didn’t feel destroyed. I didn’t feel uncertain. I felt… peace. I knew I had made it.
When the prelims result came many people from FRC made it through Prelims. For the first time. Including my own close friends. That ensured that people in FRC studies for the Mains. ( You can watch her post Mains Social media response here )
I and few others had even cleared the IFoS Cut off. It felt unbelievable at that time.
I am the one in the video below ( 20:25 ). Sir had asked not to face reveal that time so the camera is behind my back
( I cleared the IFoS Mains and had an Interview. But that day I came to the Forum Delhi center with my parents to ring the success bell. I remember after the prelims success meet last here, they didn’t allow us to ring the success bell. It was to be done when we finally crack it )
( My video ringing the success bell with my parents. )
Anyway, the months that followed were still painful.
Mains was no less of a beast. Writing 40 questions a day, facing mock reviews that hurt the ego, watching others get better faster, it wasn’t easy. But I kept going. Bruises on the fingers are now permanent. I still have the collection of my refills that I used in those 3 months for mains. Around 70 80 refills. On an avg 1 per day.
In the hindsight, the excruating schedule of FRC for Prelims had prepared me for the Mains examination
At this point, I cannot express more gartitude for the impeccable mentorship team that Forum had. The 1:1 mentorship and test discussions of the faculty along with classes helped me get that 441 marks in GS.
We also had the entire GSAP module for our batch as apart of FRC for our batch, and I selectively watched the classes given the pausity of time and made fresh notes.
The exam day
In the actual mains I effed up the time management in Optional (Physics) Paper 1 and I had to leave 40 50 marks of answer sheet blank.
I literally cried the entire 2 hour break before paper 2. I thought that this attempt is done for.
I had missed my golden opportunity, I couldn’t revise anything for Paper 2.
But somehow tried to maximize in Paper 2 to give myself the best chance I still had.
Then came the interview. The final test.
You’d think I’d be nervous, but strangely, I wasn’t. I walked into that room carrying not just notes and facts, but three years of scars, stories, and strength. That mattered more.
And then finally, result day.
I didn’t scream. I didn’t cry. I just sat down, stared at the screen, and whispered to myself: “You did it. You actually did it.”
AIR 38.
Not because I was the smartest.
Not because I had the perfect strategy.
But because somewhere along the way, I refused to quit.
Because in the worst moments, my sister believed, my mentors guided, my friends lifted, and something inside me decided to stay a little longer.
There were so many nights I’d sit alone in the FRC corridor, questioning everything.
There were days mocks broke my confidence. There were moments I almost left and never came back. But I stayed.
And that’s what changed everything.
To the ones who didn’t clear this time, please don’t walk away. Not yet. Your story is still unfolding.
“Agar tum jeete nahi ho abhi tak, to shayad kahani abhi khatam nahi hui hai“
The pain you feel right now, it’s shaping you. Making you someone who won’t just succeed, but deserve that success.
And to FRC, thank you. Not for being perfect. But for being real.For being the place where I rebuilt myself.
“I came in broken. I walked out whole.”
If this journey has taught me anything, it’s this: You don’t need to be unbreakable to make it.
You just need to keep going, even when your hands shake, your heart doubts, and everything feels heavy.
And sometimes, when you’re almost ready to give up – That’s when your story truly begins.
Signing off,
Abhishek Sharma, I.A.S
[@] Looking back, I feel that me saying this during the interview and before her results must have been awkward. The good thing is she cleared the exam that year – with rank 175 [ 133 marks in ethics – classes were taken by yours truly 🙂 ]
[2] His is not the only story we wanted to tell. In fact our most successful story from FRC is this.
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By Neyawn
Neyawn is an anonymous member the founder of ForumIAS. He is a coder Mentor & Teacher by profession, and often writes for ForumIAS. You can buy him coffee , if you really really like his work. He has built ForumIAS - the community - twice. You can say Hi to him or ask him a question on ForumIAS, or follow him on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn . You can also write to him at RxAxVxI@FOxRUMxIAS.COM ( remove the small "x" from the email ).
